Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Saturday In House Gists - Marriage Is Not An Achievement.

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Saturday, July 16, 2022

Saturday In House Gists - Marriage Is Not An Achievement.

 Is there anyone who reads this Blog who feels Marriage is an achievement? Why do you feel so? 







Is there anyone who is Single and under pressure because they feel they have to marry to be a fulfilled/complete human being?

Women are especially armed with this mindset and I want us to discuss it.....

You go to school and come out with a degree but feel unaccomplished because you are yet to find a spouse?

Some of you have Jobs that are mind blowing but getting married is what you feel is the best for you as a woman?.........

And there are some men who rate a woman when they first meet her by asking of her marital status, if she is single, the level of respect they have for her drops.....

Please Marriage is not an achievement but if you feel it is, present your examples and lets see.....

Or if you know anyone who thinks Marriage is an achievement, lets gist about it....

85 comments:

  1. For women, it is a big achievement
    But
    For men, it is for recreation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is that the lie your male relatives and friends feed you? And I believe you meant procreation by the way but if you mean recreation as in recreation, then no one here can help this warped mindset.

      Delete
    2. I am not apologetic to say that it is an achievement for me.
      I greatly desired to be married to a responsible, conscientious person that loves me and God answered me. So yes, i achieved my goal. I am married and very happy.

      I can only speak for myself.

      Some people say school na scam, but that same school has been a platform for many to achieve their dreams.

      When i do my masters, i can boldly say i achieved something.
      So when i set a goal and fulfill it, its an achievement for me.

      The problem is that marriage has been pained to be only the desire of women. But it isnt, men also seek to marry good women.

      So, yes, it is.

      Mma Nwachukwu

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    3. I beg to differ πŸ™„.

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    4. Mma Nwachukwu, very well said. When you set a goal and have achieved it, it is an achievement. If you read the Bible and discover all the benefits that comes with marriage, you'd be sorry for making the ignorant statement that marriage is not an achievement.

      Marriage is an achievement but if you feel it is an achievement you cannot have or do not wish to have, that's okay but it's not okay to look condescendingly at those who recognize the value of marriage and wish to have that achievement.

      Delete
  2. Marriage is not fulfillment but I see it as an achievement.
    You don't see a person in a day and decide to marry him/her.
    They nurture/breed a healthy relationship for months and even years before they're convinced s/he is the one.That breeding alone takes courage,perseverance, love,patience,tolerance....to turn out successful,It's never a child's play.

    I don't see why I would go through all of these processes,end up married and not call it my achievement.
    A GOOD marriage is an achievement to me.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Having and working on making sure you have a successful marriage should give you some level of fulfillment because it’s something we work at daily.
      We make conscious effort to make sure our marriages work, spicing and praying for our homes.
      When it works out great then we should feel fulfilled that we have achieved what we worked for.

      Just like every stage of our lives whatever we work at should bring fulfillment which should also be an achievement.
      A great marriage is an achievement. Just like all other achievements.
      If however it doesn’t work out, it’s also fine.


      Push up (original)

      Delete
    2. Push Up, Fulfillment is something you've got exactly the way you want it.
      Like I prayed to be 5ft4 and that's the height I got through God,I'm fulfilled with my height and I wouldn't want to grow taller than that which I won't.
      But in marriage,You wish for it to progress..You would want children,You would need funds,You would need grace to train them,even to maintain the marriage...
      Marriage is not a Fulfillment.

      Delete
    3. So if I desires my marriage a certain way and I achieve that what does that say?
      What is even the meaning of achievement? Check the meaning and come and tell me.
      If it’s an achievement you do not desire then that’s okay, but a successful marriage is an achievement.

      Push up (original)

      Delete
    4. Do you just wish to have children? Don’t you work towards that… do you also just wish for funds? You work towards it.

      Same way your courses in school, do you just close your eyes and wish for it? Or you actually do the work.
      Nne it is what it is, and even though you may not make it your own top priority it is to others and they shouldn’t feel bad if that’s what they desire.

      Push up (original)

      Delete
    5. You're getting me wrong...My first comment was marriage isn't a fulfillment but a good marriage is an achievement
      Then I went ahead to differentiate achievement and fulfillment when you said it can also be a fulfillment.
      Marriage is an achievement but not a fulfillment.
      If I'm fulfilled with just the union then I wouldn't want to have children and it goes on...
      Even if I work towards marriage and get it,I would still want more out of it,which leaves me unfulfilled.

      Delete
    6. For me marriage is a fulfillment because I craved for it and I appreciate God because it came to be, I love having a home so and I have achieved that.

      Delete
  3. Marriage is an achievement when one marries the right person

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly

      Those enjoying their marriage will say it's an achievement, those that are not will say it's not, to each his/her own

      Delete
    2. Exactly what I wanted to write.

      Delete
  4. For me, I believe whatever you desire and you get is an achievement.

    Getting a degree, getting a job, getting married, buying a house, learning to swim whatever thing you want and get/accomplish is an achievement.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Not a new topic here.

    My view remains that Marriage is not achievement. It is good though.

    ReplyDelete
  6. That's what I desire now, my own family.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I think of an achievement as something that is entirely up to you to attain which marriage isn't, there's an element of grace/luck in marriage so I think it's a milestone.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anon 14:43, abeg chop knuckle!!!πŸ‘Š. Until we realise this, we'd keep thinking it's by might, beauty, charm or some personal efforts alone that we married the right partners.

      Delete
    2. You get sense abeg.
      People need to check the meaning of achievement before you say marriage is an achievement, especially for women. Very soon they'll say having kids is an achievement too. And it's mostly women who feel or behave like this o.

      Delete
    3. 14:43 According to your theory,That means if I startup a successful business with a partner,I still haven't achieved anything?

      Delete
    4. KrytiQ, haven't you seen where business partners turned to snakes and dangerous serpents? Being blessed with a good business partner is a milestone, both of you intentionally working hard to build the business is the achievement. My point of view anyways.

      Delete
    5. Well as a christian, I believe everything I achieve is by grace, no matter how hard I worked for it.

      Delete
  8. Marriage is good but it's not an achievement. The quality of the marriage also matters. Most singles can actually get married immediately if they decide to, it's just a matter of lowering their standard.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This isn't true, most singles can't get married immediately they decide to.

      Delete
    2. That single banker can marry a keke rider next month if she so desires. Some people are single because of the standard they have set for themselves.

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    3. 14:44, yeah the quality of marriage is important. But that's another topic entirely. If you do not recognize the value of something, you wouldn't put in the work to preserve it.

      Delete
  9. What is the achievement in a marriage where you beg friends for food and outgrown clothes for your kids? What's the achievement in a marriage where people have to rally and raise money for your hospital bills each time you give birth? Is it not better to be single?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It's better to be single.

      Delete
    2. A marital union laden with constant financial constraints is an indication of unresolved spiritual issues fue to unresolved foundational covenant(s).

      It is well, beloved!

      Delete
    3. Bitter singles, we have heard you. Continue to remain single, but don't hate the married.
      Single people also rally to raise money for hospital bills, seek hand-me-down clothes, and such. These things have nothing to do with being married or single.

      Delete
  10. Marriage is an achievement when you good heads are involved.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Too good heads

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    2. Two good heads

      Delete
    3. Two good heads and a damn good GBOLA

      Delete
  11. Going into marriage in itself is not an Achievement but A successful marriage is the achievement. An achievement is something done successfully with effort, skill, and courage.

    A blissful and successful marriage is the goal not just any marriage. the effort to achieve such starts from even before marriage and continues there in. It takes Building character, like imbibing patience and selflessness, discipline etc.

    And until you are able to meet and marry a partner with similar values who is equally intentional about character building whatever marriage that is contracted outside this is not an achievement.

    I will rather be single with focus on my life goals and pursue them with my energy rather than than going into something that would bring pain and setbacks, distractions etc because of societal pressures.

    ReplyDelete
  12. A good marriage is an achievement. Finding someone loyal, kind and loving to share your world with is bliss. I for one have always dreamt of settling down with my better half at a young age and raising my kids with him in the way of God. But life happened to me, made some mistakes in my life and now I'm 31 years old and a single mum. It makes me unhappy sometimes but I continue to encourage myself and hold on to faith in God providing me with my own man. Oh Father, please hear the cry of your daughter and send me a good one who will accept me and my child.
    I'm a graduate and working but sometimes I feel incomplete, maybe the society has molded us into believing that woman isn't complete without a man.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you incomplete? Are you inadequate? Your parents gave birth to you complete.

      Delete
    2. Apart from the society, a healthy 31year old will desire commitment, companionship and intimacy. You are perfectly on track with how you feel because it is natural and healthy.

      May God hear and bless you exactly as you have asked of Him.

      Delete
  13. See motivational speaker. What happens when you start a business and not a single customer buy your market while competitors are selling like crazy? Yeah. That's how single ladies of marriage age feel. Being single beyond a certain age makes a man/lady feel worthless

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm single and not worthless. I'm 34 years old and am happy. Maybe you're talking about the people around you.

      Delete
    2. Not all single ladies. Speak for your self and family please

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    3. If a customer prices below cost price I won't sell because I know the quality of my goods. If other sellers decide to do promo with their goods, that's their business.

      Delete
    4. The Original ShugarGirl16 July 2022 at 16:27

      Not so my dear. Unless you as the individual lacks purpose or the drive to achieve other goals in your life. How can being unmarried make you feel this way?

      Yes a single person, when other plans haven't yet aligned the way you wanted them to then you begin to look at the next phase of life. Marriage...

      But if you aren't ready psychologically and otherwise please don't go in blindly.

      Getting married is easier than staying married.
      Any vagabond can approach and achieve marriage but can't fake a successful or a meaningful marriage.

      Delete
    5. At what certain age? I am 39 and not worthless!!!! Loving and living my best life at the moment!!

      Delete
    6. I’m 35 and a single mum and I don’t feel worthless!!!

      I have an amazing job with amazing pay. I’m single but I refuse to marry just any man that I will be feeding no way mate!

      I travel the world with my child and my child is happy!

      I’m happy and I know marriage will happen for me when the time comes but for now it feels good to be financially stable. I have zero money troubles infact I have money sitting in my account that I have no desire to spend because I have nothing to buy instead I give it away always yet money still remains!

      Delete
    7. I am single and would like to get married. I am considering participating in the next SnM. Even though I have participated before and I decided not to again. Maybe I should. πŸ€”

      Delete
    8. Definitely not worthless. In His time, God makes everything beautiful

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    9. Thats why you people do runs inside and marry gay men to answer Mrs! To produce demon 😈 induced offsprings ,to add to the problem of the world. No vetting of spiritual background to be sure , you are not producing luciferian bloodline.

      Delete
  14. MARRIAGE IS AN ACHIEVEMENT.
    Yes, I said that. Marriage is one milestone that if you do not attain, it dulls up your other achievements in life.

    I will be bringing up case studies:
    1)Recently the picture of Sir Olu Jacobs and Joke Silva has been viral on the internet. God forbid he does, but if he does I would say he lived well, he lived a fulfilled life.

    2)Juxtapose an Olu Jacobs with a Francis Van Late. Francis is rich, maybe richer than Olu, but a serial divorcee who claims he has visited 98 countries in the world but each time he laments about loneliness and keeps wishing for an imaginary future Madam. You may think he is balling or living the life but that man is miserable. Should any untoward sickness befall him, would there be a solid caregiver like a wife to stand solidly behind him? Adult children have plenty concerns o, they can send money but attention and quality care, nko?

    3) Genevieve Nnaji vs Omotola Ekeinde. Both successful screen goddesses but one is currently in an out of mental hospitals while one is moving from one child's graduation to another child's masters graduation
    Thank God for Aunty Rita Dominic sha, God has settled her.

    4) Aunty Linda AKA self made. Failed model & publisher. Successful blogger and entrepreneur. Property owner in Banana island. The one who changed and turned the story of her family around and brought them untold fame.

    When she bought her Range Rover she boasted that she was so rich she could buy any husband she wanted. Billionaire came along, engagement happened ,pregnancy happened and a son was born. She has it all - customized cars, a handsome son, a thriving career, lots of money in the account, beautiful face, fine shape and height. But does she feel fulfilled? She prays to be in Laura's shoes.while Laura would fight Caroline to die any gist of infidelity so as not to lose her marriage, so as not to be like Linda.

    5) Recently, JSC Mary Odili retired meritoriously from service and it was said that she is fulfilled. All of her achievements stand out and she is not found lacking or wanting in any area of her life.

    If you think marriage is not an achievement, think again. My own is don't rush into marriage and be deliberate in choosing a worthy partner.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Wow….. so if I’m getting you correctly,Genevieve is in and out of mental Hospitals because she’s single abi? Please don’t mock mental health situations like this. In case you don’t know more married women are in mental Hospitals because they have had to create an alternate reality to escape the abuse of their partners. Please don’t mock mental health situations.

      Delete
    2. 15:46, wow, you'd make a terrible lawyer. Very poorly constructed arguments aimed at degrading other people. It is opinions like this that make people defensive and feel inadequate.

      The Francis guy can get the best medical attention and care giver when he is old. I can't even spare more time to pick apart your flawed assertions. Cases ko, business case ni.

      Delete
    3. Its ok to have your opinions, but its not ok to publicly speaking negative things without facts about others to suite your narrative

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    4. Well I like that you brought out case studies and explained what you meant.

      Delete
  15. Marriage is a big achievement. You are answering MRS. Seriously marriage is an achievement when you marry your friend. Have wonderful children and a peaceful home. It's heaven on earth

    ReplyDelete
  16. A good marriage where the two parties involved alow God to control their lives is an achievement.

    There are many negative forces at war against the marriage institution, so I opine that marriage over a lengthy period - say 50+ years - involving partners who are fond of each other like they were in their early years is an achievement.

    ReplyDelete
  17. It's a very big achievement for me,being married for 13yrs going on 14 soon I can testify that I married the best out of all.in the aspect of physical achievement we have four kids together all are US citizens because he's an international staff in his company so my visa was made easy,even though I was working when i met him I did my masters in my husband's house.marriage can mean anything to anybody but me I respect the spiritual union called marriage,like some people that knew before marriage we say they don't believe I can stay in marriage this long because of my Shakira life style but I usually tell them that I'm a work in progress na my husband will talk wentin happen.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Some marriages ade destiny killer, mine kill my dream of becoming a big time business woman,and turned me to a full time house wife while the man is advancing in his career, I on the other side remain stagnant,no fail no pass, no social life,me that used to be very social,move to another state where I know nobody,y children are my achievement not marriage,though he caters for all my needs ,I drive nice cars,but I'm not fulfilled,sometime I resent him for not helping me to achieve my dream

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I want to encourage you to start a business no matter how small, if business is a goal of yours. Children will grow up and leave the house but then what will you have?

      Delete
    2. Your case is about the partner you married. Still there are so many in waaaaaay worse situations than you.

      Delete
  19. I opened this post expecting negative comments that belittle and rubbish marriage and tagging it overrated and a scam as usual. I am glad that people with wonderful marriage experiences have found their voices and are boldly declaring the fulfilment they have experienced without apologies. Marriage is by far my highest achievement and I have found immense pleasure and fulfilment in this union. Beyond academic accolades, professional qualifications and opulence, the quality of the marriage I have crowns it all up.

    May God provide and answer the prayers of every soul here who so desires a fulfilling marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Anyone can marry. But maintaining the marriage itself is the achievement. It is not an achievement when you cry and send chronicles. It is not an achievement when you are constantly cheated on, DV , and dying in a bid to remain Mrs. It is not an achievement if Mrs Nkechinyere is called and no one gives her a standing ovation for being married.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Marriage is a milestone. If you hit the milestone and luck shines on you, it becomes and achievement. I'm grateful to God for giving me my own family. A peaceful home is therapeutic!

    ReplyDelete
  22. YOUR marriage is your own personal achievement whether you are enjoying it or not. Expecting, believing or forcing others to see it as an achievement is the issue - opinions vary.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Will talk about this later...malaria no allow me jare..

    Sincere,marriage is an achievement to some

    ReplyDelete
  24. I see marriage as one of life's achievement, cause as you plan your life (goals) you'll definitely want to settle down.

    ReplyDelete
  25. So long as I'm concerned, Marriage is an achievement if you marry right. I married right and men I'm enjoying it..... infact; marriage is my biggest achievement for cause apart from my lovely, wonderful and kind hearted husband, I can also court my destined children as first in all that I've acquired.
    If you're trusting God for the fruit of the womb, reading this.......please wipe your tears for the lord has answered you today in Jesus name.....Amen.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Achievements? It all depends on your priorities in life! Getting married to someone you love might be! Imagine getting married and leaving your wife here and staying in Nigeria! Leaving her with the kid! While you slut in Nigeria , messing around and your mum and sister defending your wicked actions! The things some guys do to their women make me accept some ladies views on ,why they don’t want to marry but remain single!

    ReplyDelete
  27. Marriage is what you make it, nobody can be you for you. Some marriages have been a test where some have failed, and some evolved. God grant me the wisdom to marry well.

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  28. Marriage is an achievement. It entails a lot of hard work and prayers. It is a beautiful institution ordained by God.

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  29. I was in a loveless marriage for almost 15 years..That marriage only brought me excruciating pain ( thank God I got out with my life ).. After almost 3 years of separation..I am still experiencing pain because I got involved with a narcissist who came in form of an angel ( we were intoduced by a mutual friend). YES I know you will all call me names for staying but I feel so helpless as I don't even know how to go anywhere to meet a man. I don't know why love keeps eluding me...

    ReplyDelete
  30. I do not think we have the rights to say what one should consider an achievement or not. Leave ppl to celebrate whatever they want to. Il give an example. At my previous job, I had a colleague that joined us. She could not believe she was working in a bank. She finished high school the previous year and talked about how everyone thought she was going to get preg before graduating and all that stuff. Graduating high school was a BIG achievement for her. High school na secondary school o, but she was the 1st in her family (extended) to achieve that. So pls, you don't know know people's stories. Let them consider whatever they want as THIER OWN achievement

    ReplyDelete
  31. If marriage is not an achievement, why the rush to congratulate those who got engaged or hitched? Many of you are living in denial because nobody found you desirable. You cannot define yourself else everyone believes she is awesome. The society will give you your level where you rightfully belong. A lady that is single above 30 is a loser.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Whether your marriage, your relative's or friend’s marriage is bad or not or whatever. Fact still remains that marriage is an achievement. Which one is milestone and all that nonsense cause you all want to form what I don’t know. People will make bad decisions and then start making others see things differently. I pity those who follow the bandwagon or need validation. Marriage is beautiful. You will never see anyone who is happily married saying otherwise. That should tell you all something. By the Oxford definition,achievement is a thing done successfully with effort, skill, or courage. Most single women singing marriage are the first ones to jump without think once they find someone who wants to marry them.

    ReplyDelete

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