Those of you with very difficult in laws, especially the female ones, how do you handle them? Did the mum in law and sister in law ganged up against you? How did cope/ handle the issue.
How was peace restored?
Give us tips please because there are some new wives here who can do a whole of good with your tips....
Are you about to report your sister in law to your hubby for the 99th time?Ssssssh read this post first!
Lets gist!
The best thing is to distance yourself from them especially the difficult ones
ReplyDeleteOnce you sense a troublemaker, distance yourself from them. You are not meant to be friends with every in law.
DeleteGBAM!!! Thank God for my hubby, he distanced them from me by himself, no space for any drama to be manufactured.
DeleteMy sisters in law showed me shage. Was bringing them close to me before, but they were trying to run my home for ma. Abuse me in my house,tell me i don't no there traditions that I'm supposed to always serve them. To avoid trouble with my hubby was trying to accommodate their excesses. The day i changed it for them,they could not believe it. It's almost 2yrs of peace now after that.i don't call them and they don't visit my house any more.
DeleteHajis 100 likes, that is what I use in curing their madness. Distancing and not giving you audience. Infact they now respect themselves Wella.
DeleteI don't have any sister in-law because my mother-in-law gave birth to three men and i thank God for that because i don't know how it would have been, judging by the fact that am very stubborn.Thank God also that we live in another city away from home,so there's peace of mind.
ReplyDeleteI no get experience, so make I read comments
ReplyDeleteMy sister in-law is older than my husband and she's still waiting on they Lord for marital breakthrough. When i started visiting them before marriage she and her mother gave me terrible attitude no be small. All bcos I'm not from Anambra. On my wedding day my mother in-law dressed casually and she was looking so sad like someone mourning that day. After our wedding i forgave my mil bcos she realized she either adjust or her son will closed her chapter. I'm cordial with her now but i can never forget those days of silent treatment and wicked remarks. Concerning my sil I'm not close to her up till now. She's a very envious jealous being. I treat her like she doesn't exist. The only thing that join us is greetings after that everyone will face front. Once u marry a man that loves and cherish u the family will not have a choice than to fall in. How ur in-laws treat u depends on how your husband present u to them.
Delete14:42, you wrote exactly what happened to me and mother in law, she came to my wedding casually with a gloomy look, when I was coming out on our wedding day,she didnt know my mum was hearing her, she said ,see what my son has brought home to us, 14 years later,I can never forger that word, I can't bring myself to relate with her as a mother though she tried all she could,buy she always met a wall. As for the sisters,I care not about any of them,if u call I pick,if you don't I face my front
DeleteWhen we see,we show fake love and move,which is just once a year
Forgive her if she has repented..you don't know things that you've said to people that are hurtful but they didn't hold it against you...learn how to forgive and move on
DeleteBe cordial with them. Show love to them from a distance. Don't be to close like telling them everything about you or reporting your hubby to them. Visit them when its very necessary. Assist them when they need your assistance. Don't call them too often oooo. Give yourself the respect.
ReplyDeleteThis comment is proudly supported by me
DeleteNice comment. Sponsored by MyTruth
DeleteI did all that,but it was not enough for them. They wanted me out of their brother's life. When he now saw them for who they truly were,he cut off from them.
DeleteVery correct
Deleteif u are not prepared physically, mentally and spiritually for marriage,u may not be able to withstand the storms of it.u may break away very quickly.It's not easy dealing with in-laws cos they are the relations of ur hubby.set boundaries and be firm with your decisions politely.be nice to them and ignore if they hate u in return.pls be more prayerful cos prayers changes all things
ReplyDeleteBe at peace with all men. New wives, seek wisdom. Don't enter marriage with negativity towards your in laws
DeleteOver to married women. Ma'am Stella your second to the last post is funny, reporting 99times🤣🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteBefore I got married, I always prayed to God to give me a family I would love like mine. When I got married,I related with my husband's family like they were mine. My sisters in law are cool but the telltale signs that you are not siblings are there. When their brother started misbehaving with women,I was confiding in them ,they all registered their displeasure at what he was doing but when he hit me and I left,they all turned their backs on me. Both papa,mama,uncle's unc aunties even the siblings simply because I didn't agree to keep quiet about it and not leave. They didn't call me on the phone when I left even though I was heavily pregnant. I just put them all in their place. Everybody dey their dey. I have seen their true colors.
ReplyDeleteSorry
DeleteSorry
DeleteSometimes I wished I had distanced myself very well......
ReplyDeleteYou people should bring all the gist o... I’m here for it and coming back to share😂
ReplyDeleteI and my sisinlaw were cat and rat,we no dey pass d same road, I even forbade my husband from going to visit my in laws cos the last time he went,they called family meeting and said I'm a bad omen just coz my husbands finance got heavily affected,they wanted to pay house rent and my husband wasnot forthcoming with the rent,they were desperate and angry,, abeg who wasnt affected by covid19 and this bad govt? How would he pay rent for them when his newly married pregnant wife never see food chop,they never understood,they thought I was hoarding money.
ReplyDeleteThey said I was a liability, I just finished school and covid19 happened, they said all manner, the dislike was much,so I stayed away from them coz we live in same city, after I gave birth, my sisinlaw started coming close coz my daughter is d first and only grandchild of that family for now,so I let bygones be bygones,she'll call and check on my daughter, she'll get baby toys and stuff,she too,she saw i'm a lovable person,I'm actually nice and I was not hoarding any money from them,I'm actually even managing and keeping the homefront.....
now we are 5 and 6 oo, my sisinlaw is now my paddy,we are cool,she tells me about her boyfriends and I advice her accordingly, she's older than me,mum inlaw has to align coz she doesn't have partner that will join her to hate me,lolzzzz, but sometimes I see the dislike in her character but we meeeuuvvve.
I love this. Beautiful ending
DeleteThat is my prayer point now,to have good in-laws that have the fear of God and will love me and I love them to,God saved me from a terrible family,even though at first I felt rejected and all but I thankGod for revealing their true colours..
ReplyDeleteI and my sisters don't have issue with my brother's wife,infact we respect her alot and she is infact a nice lady.
My SILs at all very nice. Just that one of them have a lazy, dirty 24 years old living in my house
ReplyDeleteI have no experience but learning here
DeleteI once lived with my hubby younger sister,in her twenties thou...she is now off to school,the day I heard she gain admission I wave my right hand to God and the day she finally left for her nursing school and knelt down and thanked the Lord.
ReplyDeleteMaybe bcos she is younger she might not have the liver to fight me,but she got attitude,she won't dare help out in house chores,help with the kids unless the brother is the one sending her to do one thing or the other.
Infact I ignore all these cos I'm greatful of hand and leg I have and I sabi work sef like jaki.well I found out it was the elder sister instructions to her never to be a slave (just to help out around o) I never ever pick quarrel with her (I no sabi quarrel sef)I ignore and when you ignore u win
Why did you allow her. You that is doing he house chores alone are you her slave? She will eat your food yet she can't help out at home simply because it's her brothers house and money? Some people don't have conscience
DeleteNo matter how cocky it sounds,never allow any brother sister mommy daddy inlaw stay with you permanently,It is a recipe for disaster.Once that is out the way,you will have less problems with in-laws.
ReplyDeleteVery true...hubby and I already had that agreement before marriage
DeleteI don't have sisters in law but the brother in laws I have are so petty...backed their mama but because hubby has made them understand that he will rather lose them than lose me(story for another day) everybody gats pretend that all is well but we know it's not....
ReplyDeleteTakes the grace and mercy of God to live within the walls of a marriage. No rule books to guide because every ones journey is unique and different.
DeleteI am married to a family of plenty men. I have just one sister in law. We are cool together. No issues, no drama
ReplyDeleteLolz.
I have only one sis in law and I have no issues with her. She is quite good and helps out a lot whenever she visits. She is my husband's only sibling and younger than by almost 8 years.
ReplyDeleteMy brother's wife I don't have issues with her at all. They stay in a different state so wr see once in a while and hardly talks on phone except it's necessary.
Those that fight with their SILs get time cos I have to finish sorting the issues in my household before going to pokenose into another family's matter.
Some SIL will leave their own house to go find faults and fight with their brother's wife. I shame on their behalf.
DeleteBe cordial and have courtesy,also remember,over familiarity breeds contempt.
ReplyDeleteMy SIL is a very hardworking and homely lady, we get along well when we see but we are not close because she talks too much and she once disclosed what we discussed privately openly and didn't see the wrong in it when I confronted her. So since then we are just cordial, no bad blood. I am a very private person.
ReplyDeleteWell when i entered, i came in with a pure mind, the family i married into are very controlling, infact they are control freaks. They expects me to take permission from them before i travel (it's not like i live in the same house with them) or inform them before hand that I'm travelling, they talk anyhow from a-z and expects u to understand and not get angry, my mother inlaw and siz inlaw wanted me to be coming every week to cook and clean the house, infact so many things, i refused and that was when war started, i only knelt down and asked God to give me wisdom and a forgiving heart, i cook from home and make sure it's for only one mouth, which is my mum inlaw, i will take it to her, i did not do it frequently, i go when my inlaws have all gone out, to clean my mum inlaw's room and wash her toilet, cos she is old and sick.(to avoid someone telling me to come and sweep hers or his)I refused to wash her cloth, cos they have nephews and neices there, so i dnt need to do pass myself. Infact i focused 60% of my energy in pleasing only her, i ignored all of them and made them understand through my attitude that i owe my sweat to only my mother inlaw, they turned her against me, but i refused to let it get to me, i kept showing her love upon love, there was a tym i had to reduce ths rate at which i visited her and started calling her on phone and she refused to pick my call, yet i did not let it get to me, so bcoz of too much love that i shower on her, it got to her brain lol i dnt blame her though,i decided visiting her once in 2months from there i reduced it to once in 4months, they started complaining i locked up and abided by my decision, afterall my own mum i see her once in 2yrs or less, i did not let it get to me, it was a serious battle, i stood strong and firm by God's grace and resisted every plan to bring me down, they mandated that i shld come and start taking care of my mother inlaw, i said no problem i will do it, if my hubby will go and take care of my own mum, that one ended. One of hubby's elder brother always questions me like a little girl at any slightest opportunity, like when my hubby was sick he called and was talking anyhow, that what have i been feeding his brother, another one was when one of his brother was rushed to the hospital hubby travelled he called me and i rushed out immediately to the hospital, right there they decided that i shld be the one to say with him in the hospital, hubby called to inform me of the famiy's decision, i said ok no problem bcoz I'm a woman of few words, and i hate argument so much especially when I'm not in the mood,i just stood up and left after few hrs, his brother now called, when they got info that I'm no longer in the hospital, i answered him harshly and reminded him that i have people's clothes that i need to sew, bcoz i sew from home doesn't mean I'm jobless, oga respected himself. the wife now saw me like rag not knowing that I'm someone that doesn't react quickly to anger and insults and started her own, she will call me and start saying rubbish, a day came when i travelled as usual i don't like informing them, i only take permission from my husband and off i went, this particular troublesome brother inlaw called me and started questioning me as usual that where did i travel to, what i went there for, i clenched my teeth and tried to supress the anger and disgust in me, i lost it when he accused me of keeping boyfriends,
ReplyDeletegosh it was so childish to hear, i had to end the call.
Jesus Christ! What a marriage! God, I commit my single sister into ur arms abeg because she must not tell me this kain thing without her husband hearing it from me. Yes! I will cross my boundary!
DeleteWow! May God continue to grant you wisdom on how to handle them.
DeleteWhat some women are going through is too bad. So far you have tried paprika.
DeleteYou didn't draw the line from the beginning. You didn't set boundaries and your husband doesn't respect you as he should.
DeleteWere your in-laws not cleaning their house and cooking before you meet your husband? Did your husband marry you or over you job as a housekeeper?
How has he responded to the the insults thrown at you and the policing? Why are you still visiting and cooking and keeping watch at the hospital? Until you quit the half measures and fully respect yourself, expect the abuse to continue.
Cont.
ReplyDeletethe stupid wife now decided to flex muscle with me, and called and started her usual rubbish talk, oh lawd i lost it, peter i know paul i know, who be this one weh dem marry the same way i was married, that was the last straw that broke the camel's back, i raged like a wounded lion when informed hubby of what transpired and he started faulting me and threatened divorce, that this is his elder brother and wife, i shld have not insulted her,chai infact i took the divorce matter to the next level, i accused him of having affair with her,i turned the whole matter around and and kept pouring litters of fuel into it, i was pregnant then, oh lord my temperature each day was as hot as fuck.hubs saw fire that period and turned round begging i made it so difficult for him b4 we got back together, he called the stupid woman and lashed the hell out of her, and called his brother and entire family to stay away from his marriage.that incident shaked the entire family, from my hubby to all of them. They realised that i have a very hot temper and am not a push over, infact i gathered everyone's offence and tabled it come and see begging and pleas, from hubby
and one of his brother, When my mother inlaw died, the real me came out, i made them understand that as it stands now, i owe nobody anything. I was the only one that took care of her among the wives when she was alive, during her burial, i made sure i did not stress myself atall, the other wives did all the hard work. Now i hardly call or visit them, the kind of peace of mind i enjoy is top notch.
N/b I'm not in enemity with any of them anytime we jam, we gist and laugh.
I lost that pregnancy though due to highpertension who calls a pregnant woman to accuse her of cheating kai. Bvs in similar situation like mine, my advice is this, Table the matter to God first, don't ever report all your inlaws wrongs to ur hubby, he will get tired of hearing it, show them love, respect them, even if they disrespect still accord them that respect and face front, whatever they do to u pls and pls, try and let go, react when necessary, don't turn urself to chemical that reacts all the time. Ask God for wisdom that one is very very important. Always be on ur lane, have something doing, no matter how small, let ur gist buddy be ur hubby or direct family, if ur sis inlaw is ur gist buddy pls and pls be careful what u tell heroooh.I rest my case
I’m sorry but your story is sweet 😩
DeleteBe like story book.
I love how you don’t talk too much. You let your actions speak
Make sure your heart is pure and wisdom wisdom as you said
Mma Nwachukwu
After all the love they showed u, they still took u for granted and walked all over you. Remember, things only balanced when you changed it properly for them including ur husband so this ur advise no just follow, no offence
Delete1000 likes for you
DeleteSounds exactly like what happened to my cousin in abroad. The wahala nor be here. Sometimes, it takes a minute of madness to lash back and they back off. My Cousin’s sister in law, who lives in Italy, told my cousin that she will go to a native Doctor to end her marriage. Her brother was shocked. It’s been three weeks now and he hasn’t taken a call from the sister.
DeleteWisdom will not kill you
DeleteSo there was more. Hehehehehe I like the ending. Now I know why you are paprika. Them need am for their family.
DeleteThank God you changed it for them. I had already put down a connect in the first post about boundaries. This your advice... It got better when you got even so I don't think your advice is in line with your later actions which brought you freedom from torment.
DeleteI'm a sister in-law and also have sisters in law. I have two brothers that have wives and believe me, we mind our businesses and are cordial when we meet, no issues. My husband has a sister and so she's my sister in law too, she likes me alot but can be very demanding in terms of need, she's a single Mom. We don't have issue at all, my mother inlaw is late and so I act as the mother to my husband siblings even though they're all my seniors. We respect boundaries, thing is I hate stress and all it's accompanying problems.✌️🌷
ReplyDeleteWe say hello nd hi from afar, I respect myself nd stay in my lane. Dy don’t interfere in my marriage nd I don’t do same in theirs. Tank God also we all don’t live in same city
ReplyDeleteI have a mil that lived in the abroad. This mummy doesn't like me but o tried my best to show her love.She called one day and I picked,as were talking my liltle children were making playing and doing their usual thing.She said who .were making noise in the background and I responded my children.She got angry saying is like I don't train my children well,how can they be this noisy while I'm on fone the next time she dropped the call. I tried calling back but she refused to pick.The next thing this woman blocked me and also her daughters.Since then I stayed on my lane.
ReplyDeleteShe hadn't taken her meds that day.
DeleteAnon 01:48 LOL ,this your comment off me.
Delete19:15, truly, you did not train your kids well. My own kids, as little as from 2-3yrs old, when I am on call, they will shush it, they will even be telling themselves that mummy is on call, stop shouting. Merely looking at them with that eye, they will keep quiet. Train your kids, don't say "they are kids so leave them" train them so they can give you peace.
DeleteMy sister inlaws wanted me to be a modern slave and human ATM, I no gree,they targeted my pregnancy with miscarriage,I fired their arrow back at them, it landed on their brother,he died they all ganged up and called me a witch,took my hubby to fake prophets to see fake prophecy about me,I jejely moved out of the house and had my baby in peace,got my breakthrough in all corners 5 months after delivery. I don't call or talk to anybody in the family including hubby,he enabled his sisters to abuse me roundedly under the guise that they were older than me age wise,hubby lost his job,sold all his properties,his sisters duped him and took off with his cash,the last girl in the house that vowed never to leave my hubby and told me to my face my child will never grow up in her father's house,I no send them,I pressed ignore button,focused on God and my career,today hubby dey use his hands fight e own sisters say Dem remove bread from his mouth and replaced it with stonmp,my peace of mind is priceless,I dash Dem their brother,they can marry him,I dey cruise with my baby for corner Dem done beg tire,I dey count my money dey sleep like baby for night,no time for sister in-laws drama,.
ReplyDeleteWetin be this Jehovah 😩😩😩😩.
DeleteSo the marriage is over like this?
Mma Nwachukwu
It better be over before they kill her. Know which battle is worth fighting.
DeleteThat family is bad news and you definitely saw the signs before planning a wedding with this dude.
DeleteWhich one is bread and stone, prophet etc? For people who can read and write to still be looking for who to blame for basic life challenges is just unfortunate.
The way your husband treats you determines how they will treat you but sometimes the ones that just loves trouble will still not have sense. Ok, my husband brother daughter who I am older than likes to give the “I’m Iya oko” vibe and she no get respect at all. I am 6 years older than her. Before I use to put it behind me but sometimes my husband will be there when she will pass insults at me and he will join in laughing, one day I gave it back to her and my husband told me I get angry too much, since that day I don’t take her jokes and I started giving her back till now but now I avoid her and she will tell my husband I’m not friendly, even brought her friend home in one of our visit and introduced her to him, I looked away and that one was just laughing. My husband elder sisters nko, mummy G.Os that won’t rest because there parent loves me... I avoid them like plague, they recently lost their dad and we are all together and you can see the hatred is stinking. They won’t do anything and will expect me to do everything as a wife, I do the one I can and leave the remaining ones. We have wives in our house too and I don’t give them Wahala at all. We joke like siblings. I am even thinking of leaving this marriage because of them. Story plenty jare. Sil from pits of hell.
ReplyDeleteNawao
DeleteThe person you should have faced is the husband that demeans you in the presence of his relative. Had he shown you respect, that lady won't dare.
DeleteWhat is husband brother daughter?
DeleteWhat is iya oko?
Your husband is openly degrading and denigrating you, so what do you expect?
If he had any respect for you it would show and his family members would not dare try that rubbish.
I sha thank God for the kind of in-laws I have they don't even trouble me everybody they their dey, me seff I kuku respect myself.
ReplyDeleteI live with my brother presently. My sister in law is wonderful, infact all my sister in laws are wonderful. The point is knowing and respecting your boundaries. How so you live peaceably with people?
ReplyDelete1. Don't be a gossip
2. Don't entertain gossip
3. Treat people respectfully
4 . Leave things and people better than you met them.
5. Show gratitude and be thankful.
6. Mind the business that pay your bills.
7. Do not give unsolicited advise.
8. Effective communication ( don't assume rather, seek explanation)
9. Support ( financially or morally)
Omoh I no dey see one of my sister in-law oo. No one in our family cares. She's just horrible through and through. Not about us, we don't care, but this woman has not seen my mother since the day they married her. She never comes to any family event. The one she managed to come to, looking so unkept and ugly(ugliness really shines from the inside out), I felt pity for her. I literally had to drag her so she could take pictures with us as part of the family. she no even shame, she went to greet my Mum lol. That one shunned her completely. You have never called not once in almost 10years now you see me you want to greet me how? Lol. Almost 10years of marriage even if the woman did anything to you (which she didn't by the way. She accepted her as a daughter from day one and went over and beyond for their wedding) is it not enough time to let bygones be bygones? Your mother-in-law. People get mind Sha. Everybody keep her for the lane she wants to stay.
ReplyDeleteHmmm
DeleteBut why na?
If your mum didn’t do anything to her, why is your SIL like that?
My Dear I pity her. She has been TTCing for almost 10years. If she didn't distance herself. She would've mingled with other young wives in the family that were TTCing at one time or the other. Some passed their IVF doctor's number around, some had twins through surrogates. We all come together and celebrate. But truly we kept her where she keep herself oo. I heard that she knew she couldn't conceive that's why she entered with that attitude so no one will be able to talk to her. Omoh I still pray for her. But it's her loss really.
DeleteReading comment I know I ain't alone, I never had any sis inlw prblm but my mum inw almost destroyed my home I can't even typ... may God continue to help us
ReplyDelete........ Lizzy wrote it....
My sister's inlaw are nice people. We all accord ourselves respect. They don't interfere in my home.
ReplyDeleteMy sister's in-law are the best, though I don't stay with them, but anytime we travel for Xmas we are always at peace.
ReplyDeleteStella I am cordial with my in-laws,but that’s because I love my husband , and I want to give him peace,plus he put everyone in their place so they respect themselves,I can’t forget my wedding that my in-laws came and sat like visitors despite all that went wrong that day,or the day my mother in law came to my house and threw my clothes from my boxes and carried the boxes cos she asked her son for box and he said he didn’t have any,or the time they called meeting for me saying I disrespected them, didn’t give them food when they came to my house etc….If I keep typing.Abeg everyday I just pray to God to give me the grace to forgive but I have not been able to forget.
ReplyDeleteI have good sister in laws. Have never had any issues with them. The one closest to my age is my best friend (though I knew her before getting married and no, she did not connect us). We can talk about almost anything and we have mutual respect and love for each other.
ReplyDeleteAbeg oh, where una Dey see mad people marry?
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteSome of them kuku saw the signs but went ahead to.marry into the family because of Mrs title