Hmmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
AS COUPLE
My friend a medical doctor and his wife a bank manager are both AS.
My friend a medical doctor and his wife a bank manager are both AS.
My shock was how a medical doctor will go that route. Anyway, they got married and decided to do IVF, 5 rounds of IVF later still no success.
The process has drained them financially, emotionally and mentally. The weird thing in their case was, theirs wasn't a love story that they just couldn't stay away from each other ;in fact it was more calculation based.
The problem now is there's nothing holding them together since love was not even there. I just told him to hold on and take a break from the IVF wahala and concentrate on their relationship. They've been married for 5 years.
How do you see my advice?
They should get divorced please cos i dont understand how you plan a marriage with someone who is AS like you..... If it is not love, was it money?
Anyway your advice is good but you should have advised him to file for a divorce!!!
A medical doctor should know better. What was he thinking? Good afternoon
ReplyDeleteHe was thinking they can do Ivf and select the non SS embryos
DeleteThis is a common solution for those that are both AS or where in partner is SS
Anon thank you for the Enlightenment. Good afternoon
DeleteI left my bf of 3years because of this genotype issue, it’s been 2 months of loneliness but after reading this , I’m grateful I took that bold step
Delete17:31 unless you don’t have the money. I suggest you go back
DeleteI know two that left and still married AS when AS kept coming
These people’s issue is not the AS. It’s that the ivf keeps failing. This can happen to as or aa or ss.
This may be here for you to reconsider. Go with your man to the fertility doctor. If his sperm is good and you can produce eggs, no need to leave him. Start the process now even before marriage
If you don’t have money for ivf, then pls move on and don’t risk ss
They were planning without putting God first instead its science only they were depending on. To me the marriage shouldn't have taken place.
DeleteSo everyone that puts God first has no issue with pregnancy
DeleteEver heard of Sarah and Elizabeth
hope you guys know even with embryo selection and transfer it is not an easy journey, I work in a Sickle cell centre, if only you see the way HbSS patients suffer, when they are little, when they re even older, then misery the whole family endures.
Delete01:53 selection is guaranteed
DeleteTheirs is some sham of a marriage and the earlier they divorce,the better for them
ReplyDeleteLol why divorce over this
ReplyDeleteThey are not the first to have failed ivf. Now they are saying there was no life. They should hold onto whatever made them Marry in the first instance
Love*
DeleteExactly! Marriage shouldn't be a union of favourable circumstances.
DeleteUnfortunately,marriages these days are more like transactions than the union of two people in love and ready to spend forever together.that’s why they are quick to end it when something goes wrong
DeleteYou hit the nail on the head, marriages this days dey shock me,the man is looking for a woman with pensionable job,and a well furnished house,from a rich background,the poor lady is looking for peace of mind and happiness,God help good women and men, marriage these days is what are you bringing to the table ,first,then we go find love fall in love later
DeleteHmmm!I was knowledgeable about genotype too and still went on to marry my AS lover, thinking we were made in heaven,thankfully we had an AA child but the first major issue we had destroyed the marriage.
ReplyDeleteI will advice,if they can chill on the IVF they should but if time is going on both sides and love is out,they should go their separate ways.
Hmmm, poster advice them to adopt. The no one purpose of marriage is for companionship while child bearing is secondary. Provided they're compatible they should not divorce rather they should try adoption or surrogacy.
DeleteWishing them all the best.
Y is the IVF not working...do the IVF again, do pgd then let a surrogate help y'all that if the IVF is failing after embryo transfer
ReplyDeleteY’all talking about doing ivf again and getting surrogate like you know their pockets..
DeleteThat is what the signed for as as couple who want kids...I am as hubby is as, I have heard 4 failed ivf and 1 kid...
DeleteWhat about adoption..why are they not considering it. They should give it a try
ReplyDeleteCan’t they adopt?
ReplyDeleteThis js loveless marriage. It's here bv told story of how her sis and hubby gave birth to healthy kids upon being AS... They should keep hope alive.. there's nothing too much for God.. except they're tired and want to go there separate ways that's fine
ReplyDeleteIn my own opinion, if there is love go for adoption.😉😉
ReplyDeleteBut my cousin, a medical doctor , an AS is married to another As. They have been married for over 35 years now and have 4 children mostly AA. Only 1 is As. The youngest now is 30 years and is doing well healthwise.
ReplyDeleteDuring their Silver anniversary (25 years of marriage), the wife gave testimony in the church of this AS thing and how people discouraged their relationship but they stood their ground to get married.
So it depends on their believe. Medically, it is dangerous but many do it and face the consequences My cousin and the wife are both healthy looking. He is 65 and the wife is 60 .
I hate testimonies like this
DeleteThe ss thing is a chance thing so just cause they didn’t have doesn’t mean it was a matter of faith. It was just a matter of chance
Someone else will hear and try and their child will be SS
That was a foolish gamble. When you see a SS child in crises eh, you will shoot at any AS lovers planning to get married. It is a crime and a sin for AS couples to give birth. Pity the child please
DeleteJewels people are using ivf now to avoid this issue. They can marry but use ivf for kids
DeleteI know a couple too that were both AS , They both married based on Faith and the wife testified after the birth of their second child of God’s faithfulness as non of the children is AS.
Delete*as non of the children is SS *
DeleteAnd some will follow them and fall inside gutter.
DeleteThe testimony sharers will not say the truth that it is IVF that they did and selected the non SS embryos. Always misleading people.
DeleteLove can never stay in this marriage except healthy children are born into this home else they will fall out of love.
ReplyDeleteWhen pressure and problem becomes too much to handle then love may not survive. If a banker couldn't say nope why didn't a doctor who advice people to run genotype say no.
We that are AA are still single while AS said they must marry each other. People should stop pushing God too far. Taking risk and believing things will change automatic.
They have other issues besides their genotype
DeleteIvf is supposed to help one have children do so if they’re having trouble even with ivf, what would have happened without it
The AS thing is not their problem
I wonder what was in their minds when they decided to get married knowing gravity of what they were getting into. I don't even know what to say self.
ReplyDeleteThis story paints a me picture...
ReplyDeleteI am AS and married an AS. We have been married for over a decade.
I would say I married him because I was looking at my age and I kept meeting AS men. I didn't tell my family about his genotype status. I went ahead and married him. God bless us with 2 sons that are AA and AS. I remember how worried I was during pregnancy. I was so scared. God in His infinite mercy, had mercy on me. I will not advice anyone not even my foe to take such a step. In marriage, love is never enough, never.
God help the couple.
They could have natural conception, and do a CVS (Chorionic Villus Sampling) to determine the Genotype, when the pregnancy is 11 weeks old. They have an abortion if SS, and keep the pregnancy if otherwise.
ReplyDeleteI am a Doctor , and I know many couples who have done this successfully.
Abortion is pretty much illegal in Nigeria
DeletePlus many hate the idea of aborting. I’d rather you preselect through ivf
A medical doctor is in the best position to make such decision, he has the knowledge, attitude and skill to manage and control the situation for good outcome.
DeleteI have a friend who is about to make the same mistake. I've begged and talked, he doesn't want to hear. I am AS myself, I made sure I married AA. I can't put myself or my kids through such stress
DeletePretty why are you asking her to leave when there are other options
DeleteWill you give her another husband that she likes like this one
19:28 this is not for a doctor to decide
Delete18:50, IVF is still expensive the last time I checked. Not something an average Nigerian can afford but then, abortion too is a no no. Why don't they save themselves all these stress and not marry themselves, is marriage a do or die affair?
DeleteThe husband is a doctor so I'm a 101% sure he knows of CVS.
DeleteMaybe they just do not like the idea of carrying pregnancy for over 10 weeks then having to abort repeatedly.
Reading this chronicle makes me acknowledge God more...This is me that battled infertility issues, I mean I knew period was not regular but never knew it was so bad...I was having faith, I got married and all, finally had to do IVF and to God be the glory it was successful. Tried it once and boom my baby is here, baby is celebrating birthdays and healthy. I wish God answers those TTC be it through natural or assisted means...I am the woman God blessed o...yes it is assisted but it takes God's grace...I hear people tried IVF numerous times not successful, it was the first time and it was successful for me...it can only be God's mercy, miracle and Love.
ReplyDeleteMay God bless my husband abundantly too. He is ever supportive, protective and loving. May God bless my inlaws, each one of his family members are the best.
Adoption should be considered as second option
ReplyDeleteWell is the feeling is not mutual it's going to be hard to fan the flames of love
ReplyDeleteIf you are AS and are finding it hard to walk away. I advise to talk to an SS warrior. I have seen one in crisis and even though i am AA,i will never understand why one will want to potentially do that to another person after that experience.....
ReplyDeleteThere was a "thing" that made them get married.. I guessed it could not be love, they believed their money will give them a quick answer and the irony of it all is the sought-after IVF seems to be playing hide and seek for the couple
ReplyDeletethus making the center of attraction to be fading away.
They made a mistake getting married in the first place and they should not make a second mistake of bringing an SS genotype baby to the world to suffer ... The last time i checked Divorce is free
*I love infinix *
I guess they were doing selective IVF. They should get an egg donor from an AA woman. It wouldn't make much of a difference cos his wife would still carry the pregnancy, breastfeed the child and do basically every other thing a mom does for a newborn.
ReplyDeleteThey should work on their marriage and explore other options like adoption as they are already married. This attitude of telling people to divorce because of issues with child birth is rubbish. It's sad that people claim to be Christians yet throw away Bible principles to fulfill their desire for marriage or childbirth. Divorce (when not on the ground of adultery (and abortion (getting rid of SS fetuses) are sins in God's eyes.
ReplyDeleteWhen did God ever tell you people not to abort
DeleteAre you talking about the God that killed David’s child because he was born from David’s sin
We didn't do IVF, rather we did a pre-fetal test for every pregnancy. 3 kids, AA, AS & AS. Won't encourage anyone to go that route, but of the love and financial resources is there.. and knowledge too, there's a 75% chance of having kids that won't have the SS genotype
ReplyDelete