Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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Wednesday, September 21, 2022

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Hmm....




STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONFUSING SITUATION


Hello Stella...


My head is spinning and I'm in need of urgent advice from you and BVs. 

My mum has been quite sick for a long time now, and she has just two of us- my brother and I. Truthfully, my brother has been the one catering for her physically and financially (he is very buoyant financially), I send very little money to her as often as I can and sometimes recharge cards, my mum and brother live in the same house with his family.

I am married with 3kids, to say the truth, it has been very difficult for me and my family, we find it hard to even eat 2 times a day, most times I and my husband eat once and let my kids have the remainder so that they can eat twice, things are very "good" for us.


I and my husband work but our income is very meagre compared to our needs, my brother was helping us out once in a while until he gave I and my husband public disgrace, naming all he did for us when we had slight misunderstanding during my dad's funeral, like the whole street gathered the day he embarrassed us, he made us sell our car to repay him because he gave us about 50% of the money we used in getting the car. We managed to leave the house in shame. I have forgiven him (he's my only sibling) but I've resolved to have nothing to do with his money ever again.


Now my mum is very sick and needs radiotherapy, she's insisting that I stay with her for 3weeks. We live in the same state but quite far away from each other, about 3hours drive, so we hardly see each other except when we travel for holidays but we speak on phone everyday. For the radiotherapy, we have to travel from the south south to the west (Ibadan teaching hospital to be precise). I have 3 kids, my eldest is 4years old, and I have no money anywhere and we've exhausted everyplace we can borrow money to pay up part of our rent last month, we don't even know where our next meal will come from.


My brother will take care of the bill but he's insisting that I must travel with them to Ibadan to care for my mum. The issue is, I don't have anyone to cater for my kids, not even a cousin, my hubby can't do it all alone for 3weeks, my kids have resumed school, I have a baby not up to a year, I am completely broke (I can't even transport myself there or feed myself), I'm a teacher and schools just resumed, it'll be difficult to even get 2days leave now, talk more of 3weeks.

 I told my mum all these and she started calling all our relatives and friends, telling them that I don't care about her and that if she dies, I should not be allowed to bury her or attend her burial.


My hubby doesn't even want anything to do with my family since the public disgrace. Really I'm confused, I've never had peace in my home since I married, my brother is always fighting my husband because of one thing or the other, my mum is always manipulating things, it's been from one issue to another. My hubby has tried and he's fed up with my family. Now they're saying I should beg my mother-in-law to travel down and take care of the kids while I'm away. 


Mind you my mum-in-law is over 70 and she is aware of everything they're doing to her son. She's also fed up with my family. Above all, we can't even afford to feed her if she even agrees to come.


I'm sorry for the long post, but I'm really confused, please Stella help me post this, I need advice, I'm gradually going into depression, I don't know what to do, I'm thinking of selling off some of my baking equipment's as I'm also a baker and pay for a nanny in Ibadan to care for her. Please keep me anonymous.




*Hmmmmm what a mess this all is....
I am short of words and dont know what to say at all...let me read comments.....

151 comments:

  1. It is well with your family...I honestly don't know what to tell you...if ur brother wife is a very nice person and u trust her...u can put ur kids with her

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Go and take care of your mum,look for a way. Why birth more kids knowing you are not financially buoyant. Family is everything my dear,you need to look for a way to care for your mum

      Delete
    2. What are you saying, is 3kids much?

      Delete
    3. @Liz are her kids not her family too? Aren't they even more vulnerable, because they are children? She should ''look for a way'', na beans, will she steal? will she kill herself?

      Delete
    4. @Liz, your comment no try at all. Her family should be understanding. Why can't the Sister in Law take care of her Mother-in-law? Please don't sell off your belonging to travel to take care of your mum and leave your family hungry or without care. Your brother has the funds to get able hands to care for your mother.

      Delete
    5. Anonymous 16.05, one child is much in her condition. Use your head.

      Delete
    6. Those of u saying 3 is not much, did u hear her story? Her and her husband are eating once a day so her kids can eat twice a day, when they should be eating 3 or more healthy meals a day being kids. Madam u know your financial condition, yet you gave birth to 3kids in 4 years, why are u not on birth control? The way you are living is enough to make ur family angry to be honest.

      Delete
    7. Liz is very correct. 3 kids all under 4 years, the last one is very recent, yet they can’t even eat. That means it’s her brother that has been feeding her and her husband since, giving them chance to birth more! I don’t even want to be angry with poster.

      Poster you have all the excuses in the world for everything. There are some things you close eye and do regardless of the inconvenience. Staying with your mum for three weeks is one of them. Your brother has been shouldering responsibility of your mum, you and you husband since. You will be very selfish to not do this one thing.

      Delete
    8. Anon 16:05, 3 kids is too much for someone in her financial situationship.
      1 sef is hard work, not to talk of 3. That tok honestly jumped at me when I read that, 3 kids below 5 years in this her situation.
      Poster this is a very dicey situation honestly, what about your brother's wife? What does she do?
      At this point, I think you need to swallow shame this one more time and lay down your full situation to your brother, I hope he'll be considerate this one time.

      Delete
    9. Your horseband should take of the children for 3 weeks. He’s also their father. He should find a way and make it work. He can even bring his family member so that he and her can share one square meal you share with him. Do you want to kill your sister in law. Do you even have pride at. You painted your husband as a saint but am sure he’s a lazy man with an over active penis. You better not abandon your own family now else you will regret it till eternity because your husbands family would starting use you as pepper at some point, knowing too well that you have no one to run to. Go now and take of your mum. Go with your last child. You should be great full that they only want your present even money.

      Delete
  2. Do not ignore your mom's call to come take care of her. Agree with your husband to find a way on how your kids can get help. You can take them to your mother in-law for that period. If you do not do as your brother and mother wishes, you might lost your relationship with them forever. Beg your husband to help you with the kids and let you go.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It’s not just about her kids. She works too. So how will she take permission as a teacher. She will lose the job oh

      Delete
    2. And when she comes back
      What will she do
      Or you think her teaching job will give her 3 weeks leave
      Let her bro who is rich get helper to stay with their mother and pay the helper
      Lobatan

      Delete
    3. You confidently say your Brother has money, His been taking care of his family, your sick mum and you with family. During the embarrassment issue it is evident that he gave you and your hubby a huge sum of money that can be used for business and you used it to buy a Car. NOBODY will be happy or cool with such outcome let us be honest. It is not easy for anybody in Nigeria but you can't abuse people's sacrifice. Have you or your hubby asked your brother, how he is doing, send him prayers etc. Your mum lives with him and will have an understand of what he is passing through, It may be her reason for insisting you come take care of her during her medical ordeal. As much as you are going through alot, this is your only contribution to show. Do not see only what is not working out, in every situation look for opportunity or light. You have three weeks, plan to liaise with Nurses and other patient over there. You can start any wash(washing clothes of patient or anybody who needs that) you can also offer caregiving support while there for three weeks. It will send a positive image about you. STOP the Pity party please. If you are not in someone's current shoes, do not judge the person. In all of this, please go the ALMIGHTY GOD to help you and show you mercy, Put your trust in GOD alone and believe Dear. GOD will come through for you, HIS never failed yet. GOD CAN BE TRUSTED. everything will work together for your good only through God's grace. IT IS WELL with your soul.

      Delete
    4. 17:06 You comment is good.

      Poster , car was the number one priority for you and your husband when you had money. Maybe your brother expected you to use the money he gave you for something meaningful but you didn't. Instead you went ahead to buy a car.

      Maybe I didn't read the story well. Why did your husband disgrace you and hubby?

      It's going to be foolishness from me if I get givaway, instead of using the money to support my business, I squander it on things that won't yeild me income. Even the person who gave me the money will not take that foolish act lightly with me. I guess this is the reason your brother is furious with you and your hubby. Una no try. Nobody to advice each other. If husband is wasteful the wife shouldn't be and if wife is vain, the husband shouldn't as well. You should have used the money to start off something that may sustain your family but you prefer to be a teacher with peanut as salary. You. Your story is not complete. What I said up there could be the reason your family is mad at you.

      Delete
    5. @17: 06
      She will lose her job if she ask for 3weeks leave. If the employer is very understanding, she can only get the leave without pay. Unless she works in a public school.

      Delete
  3. Tight situation. You can pay someone to care for her full-time, then You can now breeze in n out to check on her. Your family wanna stress you out real time, no mutual understanding. May her radiotherapy be successful or buy her more living time.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She said she doesn’t even have money to transport herself so how will she pay someone?

      Delete
  4. I think ur brother is a very wicked and selfish person.

    How do they expect u to leave ur kids behind to care for ur mother. Since he is financially buoyant, why can’t he pay someone to care for ur mother for the period she is receiving treatment.

    I ask again, who do they really expect u to leave ur kids for?

    Nna ehn, this chronicle is vexing me.

    In this life, we all should learn to be fair Abeg.

    Call ur mum and explain to her again why it’s not possible for u to come. Infact, send a voicenote and plead with her. Your voicenote will be ur evidence that u didn’t just choose to ignore her predicament and you tried all possible to make her see reasons with u.

    Poster, I hope God comes through for ur family soon because Wetin poverty dey make person eye see no good at all.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster please go with this, let your brother get someone to take care of your mum, how do they expect you to leave your little kids behind by the way are they not in school ?

      Delete
    2. God bless you Eka. Sometimes we have difficult relatives. Even when they can see its a difficult situation they don't care. May God give you wisdom as to how to get this situation under control. May God raise the help you need at this time. Amen. May God do for you what you cannot do for yourself. Amen

      Delete
    3. πŸ‘πŸ‘, Poster please take Eka's advice,your brother should get another person that'll stay with your mom but try and find money so you can visit her at hospital maybe on a weekend.

      Delete
    4. Tell them you will go on the condition that you drop your children for your brother wife as everyone knows you have no nanny and husband has to go to his work.

      Delete
    5. Eka is on point. But her mum should even be the one telling her not to come if she's truly looking out for her daughter... she thinks things cannot get better for them or what. Am so pissed.

      Delete
    6. Please stay with your children, they are too young to be left alone, what will happen to your job hen you leave. Your brother's wife should assist in taking care of her mother in law. Ur mum and brother are just being unreasonable and selfish.

      Delete
    7. No vex o. No curse O.

      It may be better not to pass judgment on the brother. Especially as Poster admits he has been caring for their mother. Above all, it is the mother who asked Poster to come. The mother knows why she made that request.

      Reading the post, it appears that Poster does not even make the effort to go see her Mother because of the aggro with her brother - she does not send money and she does not visit.

      Though I may be 100% wrong, there are some vital facts left out of this post. Why is Poster's brother so much against her husband. Is he a responsible brother in law in all ramifications even though not yet rich as he and Poster need to be?

      Is it possible the Mother wants to talk with Poster privately or with the both of her children and is using this treatment as the avenue for that.

      Decades of being in dispute resolution has taught that very, very few people tell the whole story. So always better to advise on what is said than to judge the absent person.

      Thansk Stella for posting.

      Delete
    8. You all are missing something very important. Her mother is going for radiotherapy. We should know what illness that is, and how grim the outlook can be. Let pride and ‘inconvenience’ not lead to a lifetime of regret.

      Poster, I’d advise that you please find a way to make this trip work. I wish your mum and family the best, but you don’t want to miss opportunities to care for your mother so you do not look back with regret. Your job that cannot feed you is as good as none, so use this time to make peace with your brother one on one, and beg him to find an opportunity for you. Yes, he insulted you but make peace. Pride will not feed you so eat the humble pie and ask him for help that will be sustainable and you won’t need to beg again.

      Delete
  5. The only thing I want to say is "tell your husband to double his hustle. You are a nursing mum and you shouldn't be eating once a day"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't you think your comment is quite insensitive?

      Delete
    2. If you don't have anything to say, just read and pass. I don't want to imagine the psychological torture that man is going through that he can't properly cater for his family and his in-laws are aware of it to the point of publicly embarrassing him and making him sell his car to repay a debt.

      I perceive the family is seeing the husband as a bad luck to the poster, maybe she was doing better when single and they feel the man dragged her into poverty, they are being unreasonable and can't be forced to see reason.

      Poster, tell them your real situation, you can't afford to come, no one to leave the kids for and no way to leave work for now. Tell your brother to pay someone to stay with her during the treatment and call as often as you can to check on her.

      They may or may not understand but tell them and lock up, just be calling for updates. God that sees the real situation and intentions of your heart knows the truth and will uplift you very soon. Cheers.

      Delete
    3. And go for family planning..money no dey yet una dey born like fowl..What's your husband's responsibility as the man if the house.?

      Delete
    4. You can always get another teaching job..Take care of your mother while she's alive.She is irreplaceable.Work or no work, money or no money..if you lose her..you can't have her back...Drop your kids with your mother in law. Borrow money and go with her to the hospital.

      Delete
  6. Can you make it without losing your job?
    How much do you think you need to feed your kids and mother for that three weeks?

    I don't much available right now because of the project I'm taking care of but I can contribute a little. Please don't sell anything, let's find another way.

    Red

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God bless you @Red , from her narrative , she sure needs to sacrifice the time to be with her mum and finance e is a big challenge for her at the moment.

      Delete
  7. This is seriously serious.
    I don't even know what to say honestly.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Poster I think you are trying to excuse yourself because it can’t be that bad in all ways for you.
    Support your mum for just that 3weeks so your own children won’t abandon you too when you needed them most. If you need to talk to your ONLY BROTHER about what he did to you and your husband, sit him down and talk to him. He is your only brother for Christ sake, that he insulted you before people means nothing to me because any reasonable person will see him as the stupid person, if he can’t help his only sister who will? Talk some sense into him and don’t disassociate from him.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Are you also considering the fact that she's working as a teacher and school just resumed? After almost 2 months break, will she be granted 3weeks leave?

      Delete
    2. "it can't be bad in all ways for you."

      How do you earn the right to rewrite someone else's story and trivialise their lived experience?

      Delete
    3. Mystique, that’s what they do here

      Delete
    4. Asin I don't under trivializing her challenges just cos you've never been there.. That it's all rosy for you, doesn't mean its like that for everyone else. So many people are going through alot and you may only know when they tell you.

      Delete
    5. Anon
      Are you the writer's brother 🌚🌚

      Delete
    6. @Mystique, i dont get it. Just cos is rosy for them they tend to disregard peoples plight.

      Delete
    7. Pls go and stay wt ur mum,if anything happen to her,u will regret u never spend time wt her,ur mum that requested she want u to be wt her,knows wt she is doing,nobody can take care of her like her own child,pls look fr means to be at her,as fr ur job explain to them and if not,God will provide a btr job,ur m will always be ur mum oooo.

      Delete
    8. @olayemi but even her mum is requesting for her presence spitefuly because what is all that guilt tripping your child for?
      An understanding mither will never utter the kind of words are mother is uttering, she will understand that thus poster (her daughter) is in a really tight corner.

      Delete
  9. My dear. Pls don’t put yourself in a deeper mess than you are in. That’s all I can say. You want to sell your baking products and then what will you use to make a living for your family
    I suspect a conspiracy here but don’t fall for it. They really want to expose you and husband as poor. It’s ok but it’s not the end of life.
    Swallow whatever humiliation they bring to u pls don’t kill urself over them. Sorry to say but ur family don’t really love you. It’s like they worship money a lot and they tilt to whoever has money. Pls don’t lose your home because of this. I tell you. You will look back and be happy with this decision
    Above all pray and join the altar of fire πŸ”₯ so that God can turn your finances around


    Zendaya

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please consider also that the mother may be seeking a way to have her two children together after a very long time for a good purpose like reconciliation

      Delete
  10. This situation is hard, I don't know what to say.
    Poster may God help you

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. What is the bone of contention here is finance. You can't afford to take care of your mum as you should because of money.. If the money was available, there would be a way.


      It's necessary that you attend to your mum now before she leaves this world and I tell you, you will regret it.. I pray that God will provide you with resources and wisdom to be able to do the right thing.

      Delete
  11. Your brother is doing so much already. Why can’t your hubby take care of the two grown kids for 3 weeks? Your excuses plenty nor be small.
    What if your brother wasn’t in the country? Would you have left your mum all by herself?
    Beg your mum in-law to come around and ask your brother to help you with some money to get food stuff for the house. I’m sure your brother will do that for you, he definitely will not leave you stranded.

    Sluttychic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your comment makes sense to me more. Poster please ask your brother to help you out with some money to buy foodstuff for your family for the period. Then take permission from the school even if it will be without pay so that when you come back you can have the job. Family is everything o. Don't ignore your mom's talk.

      Delete
    2. If the said brother humiliated them publicly, he is more than able to starve her while she is there. When you all say family is everything, she also has her immediate family to consider. What is the guarantee that the school she works in will give her leave? If she loses that job that cannot even cover their basic needs, imagine the outcome. I believe the brother is very inhumane. If God blesses you, do what you can do to cover the nakedness of others. You are blessed for a reason. Poster do what you can and leave the rest to God. No condition is permanent.

      Delete
    3. @17:04,
      Did we see where the Poster wrote she has even asked for leave without pay even for two days? From her chronicles, she locked all options of going even for one week.

      Delete
  12. Life.
    Poverty die die in Jesus name Amen.
    Ur husband can take care of 2 of the kids,go with the last one.
    For ur job, get a replacement unit u come back pay after they paid salary.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She can't travel with her baby because they won't allow the child inside the ward. It's a double wahala.
      Hmmmmm, they should have practiced FP in their situation.. The brother might be disappointed in the way they were popping kids in poverty while consistently asking for help..

      Delete
    2. Officially solid poits made @16:08. Most brothers will be angry with the Poster's husband on the basis of facts narrated here. Not because he is poor as Poster wants us to believe, but because he is not a good manager of his resources. The facts are in the post.

      Delete
    3. Exactly!! If your hubby needs to travel for 3 weeks, won't you take care of the kids alone? Find time to spend with you mum. You don't have to do the 3 weeks but make an effort. I'm sure your brother has really truly helped you. He hates to see his sister suffering that's why he is lashing out on you hubby.

      Delete
  13. Wow Poster This is really a quagmire where the white man says ''It does not rain but pours''....I believe your brother is just frustrated because he does everything and also has a family to cater for...He is also under pressure as well even though I don't support the public disgrace...

    The truth is you have to sacrifice too in this and contribute your own quota to cater for your mom...How is your relationship with your husband's family? Does he have sisters or relatives that can help you in taking care of your kids? I see that you want to bear this alone...Your husband should be in this conversation and planning how to cater for your mom...She is her in-law too...I understand that you are doing your bit by sending her the little you have but you have to at least spend some time with your mother....

    Both you and your husband need to find more things to do to support your family...Nigeria is really tough but you have got to take some tough decisions...You said you have baking equipment have you stopped baking? How about reviving the business? If you sell the equipment, how sustainable can you pay the nanny that will take care of your mom? Both of you have to do something because you are depending on your brother and he feels that you prefer he bears the burden...My dear money stops nonsense...Make an attempt I believe that is what your brother wants to see from you and your husband...

    Here are my suggestions on what to do

    1. You and your husband should seat down and face the issues squarely...Anything legitimate you can find to do to bring in more family income, please do..Clean money dey come out from dirty work person dey do...Don't feel comfortable...

    2. Speak with your headmistress of the school about the health condition of your mom and you need to take care of her. You can ask for at least 1 week leave. I dunno if she can give you salary advance to help and get involved in taking extra lessons for children (another way to make money)

    3. Do you have friends/pastor/elderly respectable person that can help you to fund your business to generate more money. You and your husband should work together as a team to navigate this murky waters...Call on God and pray well to open your eyes to more opportunities...

    All the best okay..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster didn't tell us what led to the public insult. The brother gave them money and they used it to buy car. Do you think they told him the money was needed for a car? His anger is justified. It's annoying when people come to you with business proposal and you give them money for the business only to find out later that they spent it on a non-revenue generating venture. I've experienced this and it can be frustrating. The husband could have used the car for Uber and then paid the brother back instead of selling the car. The truth is that if you are not contributing financially to your mother's care, you should contribute 'leg work's. It's not fair to leave all to your brother and his wife because you feel he is more financially well-off

      Delete
    2. Poster I really feel for you. I pray God comes through for your family. πŸ™πŸ½

      Delete
  14. Hmmmm
    Sorry poster but your family is inconsiderate.
    How do you people keep giving birth to children when you know you’re not financially capable of taking care of them????? Why????
    You care barley feed yourself and choose to bring innocent kids into this situation????!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your second sentence @anon15:42
      I jokingly told a class assistant that hope her 3rd baby is the last,she told me no,for what na,this is a struggling woman,paid less than 10k,her husband does not contribute much,I close mouth sha

      Delete
  15. You’re completely broke but you’re still getting pregnant.
    Give birth to the kids you can cater for.
    Leave the kids with your husband let him take care of them. They’re his too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you. When i saw her chronicles, the first thing i thought is ''so you will let your mother go for radiotherapy without following her? you don't have money, yet, you cannot go to free primary health center to get family planning to control childbirth till God blesses you. Your husband is tired of your family because your brother embarrassed you during a misunderstanding. What about his own family, what have they done for him. Your excuses are like one million. My opinion is You sound entitled and problematic.

      This are your husband's children too, what does he mean he cannot take care of them alone, when your mother needs her children around her. Did your family sell you to him? what if your mother does not survive the radiotherapy, will all these excuses matter then? Please o value your extended family, respect your husband, that is the key to happy life.

      After all, your brother is not asking you for money, he is asking you for your presence, and you are complaining upandan. God will help you with the wisdom you need.

      Delete
    2. 16:23 thank you very much

      Excuses just sounding everywhere. If I’m the brother I’ll be angry with the husband too. Can’t feed the woman yet is busy impregnating her. Ok, take care of the kids you’re impregnating her with, he can’t do it. Yet poster is making excuses for him and his family. I’m sure it’s the brother’s wife that has mainly been taking care of her mum. Poster go and take care of your mum

      Delete
  16. Right now you may not be able to get 3 weeks off from the school you are working as a teacher. You are already incapacitated financially; what happens if you loose the job you are managing? As your brother/mother have refused to understand your situation, please do what is best for you and your children

    ReplyDelete
  17. Poster I will say you should calm down and talk to your brother on this issue again cos you are using vex to spoil the talk. I said this cos I know when you don’t have a good communication with your siblings you will not be able to communicate well.

    Tell your brother that you want to drop your children with his wife for that three weeks and see, you can talk to his wife one on one she will understand you better than your brother.

    Your brother is angry with your husband as he cannot take care of you and your children. No one will be happy to see their siblings suffering, the constant assistance he is giving you and your family on daily basis is what is annoying him cos is not easy to assist people no matter who they are.

    Your brother may be rich but remember he has some jobs to take care and he need money as you need it too. Talk to your mum for the last time .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Great words. Even if she cannot go, she need to approach the matter differently with peace and reconciliation in her heart.

      Her brother's wife will not get involved unless her brother says so.

      Most private schools will not let her go for more than a week and if they pay her, that will be a miracle.

      Two problems for her. Money and time. The both solutions are in the hands of the brother she does not want to talk with and a mother who does not understand the reason for a long drawn aggro over some truth told her and her husband even if rudely.

      Delete
  18. I don’t know why parents do this nonsense all the time.they continue to manipulate,exploit and enslave their kids.Any parent or family member that refuse to understand all poster has laid down should go f**k themselves.Telling anyone to still leave after all these explanations is just wickedness wether mother or brother.As I am like this,I live for me and my immediate family and everything that will affect them,I won’t do it including leaving to stay with an inconsiderate mom for 3 weeks.What rubbish.I’m so pissed

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You’re very selfish. So the brother that has been assisting her and her husband, he doesn’t have immediate family to take care of, she’s the only one that has immediate family. Mscheww

      Delete
  19. First, call your brother again.tell him about the possibility of u loosing ur job and how ready is he towards supporting u and the kids financially for those days which u will be with ur mum in the hospital.cos u are going to feed and also send some money back to ur kids,since ur hubby doesn't have for now.ur kids are still very little and their immune systems may not be able to fight off infections if exposed to since u will be visiting an hospital..pls drop ur kids with ur mother inlaw and let ur hubby check on them daily.believe the lord will watch and keep those little angels in good health till u return

    ReplyDelete
  20. Please poster try by all means to maintain peace amongst your family. Play the fool for now and get what you want k?

    ReplyDelete
  21. Just try and go with your mum and spend at least 1 week. You can have mother and daughter talk with her, I believe she will understand you better.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Sorry for the embarrassment from your Bro..

    Nevertheless,Life isnt black or white,people look rich doesnt mean they have it all or have no financial issues in their personal lives..

    Most have loans to repay,personal health and Nuclear family issues,salaries and so may other things to cater too;but because you see them dressed nicely;you might assume they have it all while in reality you even sleep better than the assumed "elite"..

    The bigger your money,the more your taste grows,the bigger your expenses,your responsibility increases,and the more expectations most humans have of you..

    Your Brother is overwhelmed with the responsibilities,try your best even if its weekend or a week to source fund and be with your mum..if your Bro wasnt around;would you neglect your mum?

    Help your mum like you have only got yourself and God alone,avoid expectations,and if help comes at any point;thank God and continue the process..

    When it gets very difficult,the breakthrough is close..the worst would help you appreciate the best coming.

    @MARTINS

    ReplyDelete
  23. This seems like a conspiracy to frustrate you. Because all these can be settled if they pay a caregive to take care of her for that duration. Ah ahn. They are not even considering her job and her baby....Jeezz. It's not fair. Anyway, you will have to pick one. Putting into consideration that nobody will come to your aid when you and your kids are hungry. Jobs are not so easy to find. And they will not help you look for a better one....I am sorry to say but I think your mother is manipulative. It is left for you to weight the pros and cons and decide. Keep in mind that there is enough money to pay a caregiver. I am not saying you should abandon your mother but there is an easier way out. What you cam do is this, tell them that you will go with her. Then two days after, buy a knee pad that people use for broken knee it should be about 3,500 or less. Snap a picture after installing it and send it to them telling them that you fell off a bike and your knee is sprained or broken. Chikena.

    ReplyDelete
  24. So sorry about your situation.
    I think the burden is getting to your brother, thats why he is behaving like this towards you.
    I understand you, but you just have to sacrifice. Let your mil stay with your family for the 3weeks. Please go stay with your mum. Beg your brother that you will need some money to hold for the 3weeks. Put what he did to you aside and just ask for help please. Go with your mum, as you can see she is not willing to understand your plight. This might also mean you losing your teaching job, but count it all as a sacrifice you have to make for your mum.
    Let your husband manage the kids with his mum for 3weeks. Its just 3weeks for your mum. Remember how long your bro has been taking care of her.
    May God make your burden easy. If you are close with your brother’s wife, you can tell her to speak on your behalf to your brother about money.
    It is well with you.
    Sista Jane.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ever wonder if the MIL has like a job that she can’t uproot herself from for 3 weeks?

      Delete
    2. @ Eka Joy. You may be right.
      I just think that the poster’s mum and bro want her to be there by all means.
      God forbid anything goes wrong, this her bro might put all the blame on her and frustrate her forever.
      Things are obviously tight for the poster but her family just dont care about her excuses. So if she can just go out of her way to be there with her mum.
      Sista Jane.

      Delete
  25. No matter what to take care of your mother is your responsibility. You are her only daughter. Take permission from your school even of its without pay no problem it won't kill you. Leave the older 2 children with your husband then go with the small one and take care of your mother. They won't die your husband will look for a way to take care of them they are his kids. What if you are not there don't you think your children will Cope?put yourself in your mother shoe if you fall sick God forbid and you are taken away for sometime those kids won't die.
    Mrs Pamela

    ReplyDelete
  26. This is tight but there is always a way out. From your narative, your brother had been there for you till an issue came up during your dad funeral. I feel he might have spent so much on your family and you still come back for more without anything to show for what he has given you so far. He is your only sibling. Kindly learn to balance this issue or it might hurt you for long. You are a mother and will be a grand mother one day. Do everything within your reach to visit your mum even if it is for two days. You must not stay three weeks. While with her, talk to her as a daughter in tears. Explain your ordeals. Good mothers are angels. She might give you the small she has saved from what your brother gives her. Use that opportunity too to reconcile with your brother. A good family should not be traded for anything. If it entails borrowing, Please do that. Don't ignore this mothers wish. No one knows tomorrow. From your explanation, no one is expecting any money or gift from you. She only asked you to come.

    ReplyDelete
  27. If the mother was not also giving attitude, I would have said she should go help out. The honest truth is that Nigeria is hard. Let the brother get a maid since he has so much money. There are nurses that will give real care when the need arises. This is not fair to a lady who has bare it all to us here. It does not mean that she does not care… it’s just unfortunate that money is showing her shege. Even in sickeness the mother is this wicked narrating her own daughter to whomever that cares to listen. Take it to the Lord in prayer poster. If you cannot and you know deep down you cannot, then don’t kill yourself… nothing like your daughters will not take care of you crap. Just tell God and leave it there.

    ReplyDelete
  28. What did you Mum do during the public disgrace
    Whatever she did is what you should do too

    Will your bro pay pay for daycare because how will your husband work if you travel and leave two kids

    He can pay for someone to help your mum for 3 weeks

    My mum won’t ask me to leave my 4 year old for three weeks to come to her when it’s not life and death

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I was looking at people telling her to dump the kids for her husband. They have no idea what his working hours are. People that are barely surviving already should now pause their source of income or abandon it when the person financially capable can find someone to pay to do that.

      Delete
  29. Your brother feels tired and that's understandable especially now that you have 3 kids under 5years of age. I don't think he is happy with your husband that he is unable to care for his sister.
    The bulk of this is in your hands. Except if your mother hates you, ask her to help talk to ur brother to set up a business for you and be sure to come up with a plan that can convince him.
    As regards the issue on ground, I think ur husband should be able to take care of the younger 2 kids while you leave with the baby. I don't know if you work in a private school,even if you can't get 3 week's, maybe you should ask for 1. It would be better than not showing up at all or as someone suggests, get someone to replace you for this period. But you really need ur family. Except you want us to believe that they don't love you at all, you still need to talk to them and make them understand ur situation and also be prayerful and ask for favour and God's wisdom cos you definitely need it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Personally, I will never request help from a family member that has publicly shamed me before with help rendered. I won’t do that to anyone, talk more of my own family member so I will never take it from anyone

      Delete
  30. This is too complicated, I guess your mum really want her only daughter to be with her nd take care of her which is the right thing to do, but if there's someone she listen to please call the person and explain everything to the person aside from the money issues, tell the person that your last child is not up to a year nd it won't be nice to take the child to the hospital. Then make plans to visit her once she comes back from the hospital

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The Mum has a son. Son can take care of her too

      Delete
    2. Her children has a dad, he can take care of his kids also.
      What if the brother is not in the country, not responsible or has an uncooperative wife?

      Delete
    3. Well 18:02 he’s in the country. He can take care of his mum or bring money to make it possible for her to leave her source of income and do it.. right now she can’t afford to quit her job

      Delete
  31. Some parents are just something else. If your mother was a good one, the moment you explained your predicament to her, her response should have been a way to ease your burden so you can come be with her or even appeal/beg you to find a way to make it happen.
    I guess in this part of the world, the wealthy child is the favourite and most respected. Once you're struggling, to them to have no value.
    Put your self first. Don't go and lose your job, sink your business or put your children in harm's way.
    People walk all over you and treat you like crap, because they know that they can. Call your brother and let him know that you will NOT be coming and he needs to make plans for someone to be with your mum. I see so many people up there trying to emotionally blackmail you, but God sees your heart. What do they expect you to do? Steal? Put your oxygen mask on first, before helping someone else.
    Your focus needs to be getting your finances in order. Don't allow anybody manipulate you into a digging yourself into a bigger hole.
    P.S. It is pretty obvious your brother doesn't like or respect you, blood doesn't translate to family, just cut your losses and remove your eyes from him and his pocket.
    Please don't lose hope or lose yourself. It gets better. Absolutely nothing is permanent, even life, but you need to do better at advocating for yourself and your family, and don't let anybody push you around or put you in a seriously uncomfortable situation, simply because they have chosen to trivialise your pain.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You judge the Brother only from Poster's narrative? Hmmmn.

      Delete
  32. Poster, by the time we hear from your brother now, story go change. You gouts can barely feed but you took a “loan” from your brother to buy a car. How wise is that?

    As hard as you tried to portray your brother as the problem, you and your selfish and entitled husband are actually the problem here.

    The real issue here is, since your husband can no longer milk a fellow man like himself, he is refusing to be supportive. Shame on you for turning your back on your mum in such trying times. More shame on your husband.
    If your brother’s wife was like you, your mum wouldn’t be living with her.

    Only 3 weeks you can’t sacrifice.

    Please don’t go and don’t even try to famz when she is gone!

    May God deliver us from entitled, selfish people who are meant to be family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you! I’m sorry to say but poster and her husband do not sound like good people.

      Delete
  33. Poster I really feel your pain but life happens. There are plenty issues here so swallow your pride and seek financial help from your brother. Then plead with your mum in-law to come assist your hubby look after the kids. Teaching jobs are not hard to get so inform the school and request for leave even if it's without pay.
    Make this sacrifice for your mum. Please stop making excuses for your hubby. I pray that divine help comes for you.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Their priorities not set right also.
    She mentioned that they sold a car he lent them money to buy in order to repay him. What was the car for?Business or personal use?
    Sorry to say this o, you said he helps you , have you been helping yourself.? How is your baking business?

    ReplyDelete
  35. How can you have 3 kids in four years knowing you are poor? I mean you were literally pregnant every year. I am sure your comfortable brother doesn’t have 3 kids. From your write up, it’s obvious you and not husband are not taking responsibility for your financial woes but mostly blaming your brother. From your write up, it’s obvious you have ‘gossiped’ your family with your husband and his people. Hope as you are alienating yourself from your family, you will have someone to talk to/ fight for you when your husband and his people start acting up. Also, please place yourself on birth control.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The brother is not happy because every year she’s pregnant without any tangible means of caring for them. No worry giveaway dey come .

      Delete
    2. "..Also, please place yourself on birth control..", rush to government hospital and do this if you haven't done it already, I empathize with you but it's really frustrating when you are trying to assist someone and the person is popping out babies like no man's business. I'm sure this is why your brother is angry with your husband, he feels he should take responsibility for his family and plan better.

      No point dwelling on the past, you can't go for now, tell them as nicely and firmly as possible. Then, sit down with your husband and prayerfully plan how to improve your finances and stick with the plan, it's not okay that a lady that is nursing a baby eats once a day. More blessings!!!

      Delete
    3. People also look at having children at a go as beneficial. The babies use almost the same set of clothes, baby things, the mother does the caring within seven years, she is done and free of the real need for personal attention, etc.

      Delete
  36. The LORD Will instruct and teach what to do and He will guide you with his eyes, pray with your husband , HE WILL DIRECT YOUR WAY

    ReplyDelete
  37. You have made up your mind not to go hence the numerous 'pity me' excuses that you came up with. Your family just want you to be involved in their affairs. Caring for a sick person isn't a joke, let alone on one person. Your brother is feeling resentful towards you because he feels your mum should be with you, while he sends money for her upkeep because you are the female child and can look after your mum better. You said your brother has been helping out occasionally? What's your hubby doing? He should double his hustle o because collecting always from in-laws isn't a good thing and will bring out see finish. There's more to this your chronicle but you chose to make yourself and hubby the victims. Swallow your pride and have a heartfelt discussion with your brother. Hopefully, you guys can come to a compromise

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Female child don suffer for una hand
      After we finish dem go drop inheritance for only male pikin
      Let male kids take care of their parents too

      Delete
  38. All this boils down to money. I pray for financial breakthrough for you and your household. Money dey stop nonsense walahi

    ReplyDelete
  39. The fact that your mum needs radiotherapy means she probably has cancer. Cancer is an almost terminal disease.

    Your mum also feels she may not survive the cancer. Your reasons are valid, but you can still make some sacrifices for your mum.
    Your husband can actually manage with your children. Invite your mother-in-law to come. If she will not do it for you and your family sake, she should do it for her son and grandchildren's sake .

    Let Mama also make sacrifices for her son and his family. The food she is eating in the village, she can equally bring it to your house and continue eating it.


    Your mum is fighting for her life, you cannot and should not be heard saying you cannot leave your children to go take care of her.


    If asking your brother for money will lighten your load at this time, ask him without telling your husband and go and take care of your mother like a dutiful daughter would.

    Your mum probably has cancer, so she is frail, she needs her own blood to help her at the hospital. Who will bathe her? Clean her up? Support her, Without irritation or disgust? Nah pikin!!!! That's why she gave birth to you, that's why you also gave birth to your own child.

    If selling your baking things will put some cash in your pocket, do so!!!! No sacrifices should be too lofty for family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You think she wants to sell her baking things? If so she won’t be saying it.

      Delete
    2. @17:46, Lol. Urhobo man say "life na cinema".

      Delete
    3. Why sell her baking things
      See everyone looking down on her for always needing help
      If she sells then she’ll really need help

      Delete
  40. You need to find a way to balance your two families so that there won't be so much issues. You don't have to stay with your mum for 3 weeks but you need to make an effort they can see and not use your not trying against you and your hubby in the nearest future

    ReplyDelete
  41. Go and take care of your mom. Since you are not financial taking care of her, go pay your quota. You are her only daughter. Even if you loose your job, nature will pay you back. Your husband should take care of the kids while you travel with the youngest. If you don't go,who will?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you anon, thank you.

      Sluttychic.

      Delete
    2. And this is how people make bad decisions
      Nigeria as tough as things are is not the place to be losing a job

      Delete
  42. Na wa o, this is a hard one. Poster even if it's just for ONE DAY,go and see your mother. You mustn't stay for 3 weeks.Go,see her face to face, explain everything better to her and your brother face to face and then go back to work and your family on the third day or so. That your presence matter a lot. I wish your mum quick recovery and blessings upon the work of your hands, Amen.

    ReplyDelete
  43. The real Koko for my is why is there no place for this therapy in southeast

    ReplyDelete
  44. It's a dicey situation. May God grant you wisdom and make a way for you.

    ReplyDelete
  45. My brother embarrassed me? Your brother is not a mad man, is he? You and your husband must have done something , a brother that provides for you regularly will not suddenly change. It possible he gave you money to better yourself and your husband bought a car with the money with your support. I will never collect money from my brother? You may live and die in poverty. Regardless of your husband's feelings go make peace with only sibling. Pick your phone and call him today. Your husband may someday work away, but your brother will always be there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You guys can excuse bad behavior
      Who did this to Nigerians
      Why are you looking to justify what brother did

      Delete
    2. Cool down 19:34.

      Nobody did Nigerians anything. We should stop tarring ourselves in the eyes of the whole world as bad people.

      Dont judge the Brother on the say so of the Poster. Even the Bible says to judge only after cross-examination of a story.

      True story - A man was lent money to roof his house.He got his expected pay. Instead of repaying his loan he chose to invest in a quick money scheme despite his wife's insistence on repaying the loan. He was duped. If the lender escalates the matter the man and his wife will cry that the lender, his tribes/village man, is wicked. Some people will believe his cry of oppression and wickedness.

      Read the facts of poster's story. You will see her brother has been good to her AND her husband. How many brother-in-laws care for their sisters husbands? Most arrange their help to favour their sisters alone and let her decide on whether or not to assist her husband. See also that Poster did not narrate or even hint at what caused the alleged bad behaviour of her brother.

      One more. Since Nigerians are so bad, how many good behaved people yonder cater for and feed their sisters' able body husbands and their children?

      Delete
  46. Poster, do what ever it will take you to go stay with your mum. Also mend fences with your family, don’t rely on bad things done to you.if possible stop giving your husband details of wrongs from your family. your brother has been the one carrying all the burdens alone for long, assist him with this request he asked, it might lessen the distance between you two.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster I will like to help you with 30,000 Naira as transport to go see your mother, on condition that Stella can verify your story. Maybe you can't stay 3 weeks, beg your brother to stay 1 week. I think your husband can cope for a 1 week. Ask your school for 1 week permission to go see your sick mother. Use that week to make peace with your family. It looks as if you haven't seen your mother in a long while, please try to go see her. Stop bearing grudges with your brother. Acknowledge and thank him for all that he has been doing for the family and apologize if necessary. This self pity you are on will not help you. It takes an attitude of gratitude to have a breakthrough. Just because you had a quarrel, you have forgotten all the help he gave your family in the past. Work hard at your baking, be grateful, be prayerful and try at all costs to make peace, then you will see how doors will open for you. Try to discuss this with your husband - what if this is the last time you get to see your mother alive? Will you forgive yourself for not going? No matter how angry he is if you put it to him in a peaceful way, he will understand if he is a good man.

      Delete
    2. God bless you dear. Let her make peace . It's like she's bearing grudges with her family members

      Delete
  47. My own is why you chose to drag 3 children into this world with all your problems? Do you people not really think and plan before popping these children though? In your condition, one child is one too many and you have 3? 3 under 4yrs old, so very recent actions despite your not very recent situation. Why couldn't you have 3 houses, 3 cars, 3 degrees? I guess those ones are hard and require great thought and investment but children all you need is 5mins and a willing penis. May God forgive you.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Children are not health insurances or retirement plans. Parents need to sort themselves out for their old age and not continue to be burdens to their children. Parents decided to have children, it's not a quid pro quo. Children didn't get the chance to decide they want to be born. These ones here are afraid they will be perpetuating this gross injustice on their own children that's why the plenty 'go and take care of your mother'. The chic has her own life to live and that should not be ajudged trivially becos her mother happened to be the one that gave birth to her. She could have been born in a better setting and by a more settled mother who wouldn't need her to choose in such circumstances.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You are so immature and talking in the nonsense. The mother has cancer and can die. We take care of our lived ones ...it not too much to ask that a child care for her mother when she is sick.

      Delete
    2. Anon 19.17 it not nonsense. Some parent have made it so difficult for their children to stand becos of these entitled feeling. I don't think it's immature talk especially with the mothers attitude. These things are privileges not rights and its ok to understand the posters conditions too and not act like only it's less important.

      Delete
    3. @18:29. What you are condemning is what the Poster is already doing herself.

      Delete
  49. Poster see your brother's wife and talk to her about keeping your children with her if you she will agree but if she cannot accept to take care of your children please do not go.

    Talk to your brother in a calm way, put your difference aside and talk to him as your blood to see reasons why you cannot leave your children.

    Since you said if your mil comes you cannot afford to feed her, please do not add to your problem by inviting her and trying to please your mum with your brother just to avoid embarrassment. Speak with your mum too and see how it goes and if you have a person your mum listen to or your brother please involve them to speak to them to see if that can solve the issue on ground.

    Lastly, I don't like it when some family members becomes selfish cos the other person doesn't have money or is not married to a wealthy man. I'd your husband was rich or even richer than him,he would have been worshipping him but cos he doesn't have money they are looking down on both of you.

    Please do not allow them.push you into depression.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Why can’t her husband take care of his kids? Did she birth them alone?

      Delete
  50. Looks like you’ve always been broke but you’ve managed to have 3 kids under 4years.
    My question is why ?!
    What happened to family planning?

    Take control of your life and stop borning anyhow! That’s the first step to having financial security


    Lady MorgiannE

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I just taya!!! Going by the story of when car was resold to pay back her brother's money, they've been in a tight spot for a while, yet still bringing innocent babies into this mix.

      Delete
  51. Poster can you go during theweekends as suggested by Martins.

    Poster make peace with your brother. Forgive and move on as siblings even if you do not want to forget.

    Explain your situation to him. Make it clear without directly saying that that you are not asking for money. Just that you cannot join them now.

    See the challenges you now have? That is why you need to be grateful to your brother and his wife. Yes, his wife who has been taking care of your mother or taking care of him while he took care of your mother.

    You dont have money problem in this particular matter. You have family reconciliation challenge involving you, your brother and your mother.

    Mr. Mann

    ReplyDelete
  52. Poster, why did you birth 3 children when you are not stable financially? And all your kids are under 4. And you have a less than a year-old baby. Please speak sense to yourself on this matter.

    ReplyDelete
  53. The truth is her family doesn't even care about her. No one want to understand her situation at all. Her mother too is not even helping. It's could be that they don't have what to give out financially, that's why there are being treated this way. There's some more to it but it's quite a pity. I feel for you.

    ReplyDelete
  54. You should go ... what if it's the last time you see her ...if they are little travel with them

    ReplyDelete
  55. Hmmmm challenges everywhere,my darling the truth is that your hubby will have the final say on this and I'm sure he won't want you to ignore your mum.
    Don't your mum have relatives from her side too maybe siblings.i confuse too (may help come for you)

    ReplyDelete
  56. This is a difficult situation here. If you are not cash-strapped it would have been a lot easier to even make plans.

    ReplyDelete
  57. It always hurt when I see or hear men play God over the life of others. Your brother has tried, we agree, but with your situation right now, I don't think insisting you come stay with your mum is right. See, that someone pay your bills does not make him/her the owner of your life o. Just like Eka said, leave your mum a lengthy voice note that will capture your pain and the reason you can't come. If you lose your job or anything happen to any of your children, you will be sad for a long time. I need you at this point to do what is convenient.

    My Offer
    If I can have your account number, I can send you a token that will be enough for you to go there for just a week. Take 1 week break from work, do a week with her and return to your work and family. I will send Stella an email that will connect me to you.

    God bless you

    ReplyDelete
  58. Same people advising her to dump her kids with someone else to take care of her mother would blame her if anything happens to the children

    ReplyDelete
  59. Please go and take care of your mum.. i lost my mom 3yrs ago, lost my dad 2months ago, so i know what im saying.. we dont usually know their worth until we lose them. If anything happens to you mom in your absence, you will regret it for the rest of your life. Go and take care of her.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Poster, all these stupid excuses is for us to tell you not to go and take care of your sick mum undergoing radiotherapy Abi, you can’t forgive your only brother and make peace with him and your Mum so they can help you and your family. I pity you. Remember that blood is thicker than water. I see you as a very irresponsible daughter and sister. Continue following your husband and his family that has no business with your family. Nonsense.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Poster, a few things here. Your mom is very sick, has been sick for so long and the fact that she needs radiotherapy means that her disease (likely cancer) has spread. She may not have that long anymore, hence her insistence and “ unreasonable “ request. Your brother may know this as well but since you don’t see her often and are overwhelmed with your own issues, you may have no idea how bad things are. I don’t know why you said she is manipulative and your husband and his family ( and likely you as well) are tired of your family, but the fact remains that she is sick, “very sick” in your own words.

    You have listed several reasons why you can’t go be with her, however you should also be able to make peace with the fact that if you don’t go, 1)you would need to respect her wishes about not having you participate in anything to do in the event of her demise; 2) there will likely be no chance of reconciliation with your brother and only sibling, who already resents you for reasons others have mentioned, 3) your husband and his family will eventually use that against you, when the opportunity arises and; 4)be ready to deal with your conscience in the future.

    I will not tell you what to do, the tone of your chronicle says a lot. Even though it doesn’t seem like it, It is not a matter of money at this point ( your brother having loads and being able to afford a caregiver, or you not having at all and in a tight corner), your presence is urgently needed and this cannot be duplicated. Just be sure to weigh all your options and either problem-solve with your husband and let him know how he can support you, or be prepared for whatever the outcome may be.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Poster first and foremost go and tie your tubes, not any other kindness family planning o, those ones fail, go and tie both of your gaddamn tubes

    ReplyDelete
  63. Excuses, excuses, excuses is all i see here. Where is a will , there will always be a way. you have not been a very responsible daughter, honestly. Your brother and his wife have been left to carry all the burden of your mums illness both physically and financially and i think he resents that. Cant say i blame him. If you cant provide financially then you should have done your part in caring for her physically. You cannot travel some weekends to go and stay with your mum and care for her in your brother"s house so him and his wife can take a break? You cannot take a week or two to go and stay with your mum while she undergoes Radiotherapy in Ibadan? Do you even realise that she may not survive the radiotherapy cos that shit is hard on the body of a younger person, how much more your frail and old mother.

    Dont even try to paint your brother as the villian here cos we can see through your pity-party story. He is probably tired of you and your husband and the bad decisions you make (having 3 kids in 4 years in these present economic situation when you both are poor is a very bad decision etc). If you lose that your job that the salary is so meagre, do you know that it may even be an avenue for your brother to help set you up? He just needs to see you making some heartfelt sacrifices for your mum cos truly, he has done his part. You better look for a way to reconcile with your brother, go take care of your mum for as long as you can and believe God that everything will work out for the best. After all, if you were to die today...your husband will look for a way to take care of his children.

    ReplyDelete
  64. Pray for God's guidance. It is only in Nigeria that men are handicapped, he should take care of the children for three weeks. Have a friend or neighbour check in on them from time to time. You can't be poor and have pride or audacity to pick a quarrel with someone who helps you...that is lack of wisdom. Humble yourself explain the situation to your brother. Go and take care of your mother. Seek her blessing while you are at it.
    If things are so hard for you move back to the village. At least money for house rent will set up a good simple business. Food is way cheaper. I know a lot of people this has helped. People will be in cities paying almost 200000 for face me I face you. Meanwhile in their village, they will establish a reasonable life. Your husband can work in the city and send help from time to time. Once a new president comes in things will pick up

    ReplyDelete
  65. Poster, when there is a will, there is a way. Do find a way to be with your mum. Once in a while in life, we make heavy sacrifices for those we love. Your mum really wants to be with you. Find a way.
    I would suggest you find a relation or even your mother inlaw to drop the kids with if your husband's working schedule is not flexible. If it is, he should care for them. They are his kids too. As for your work when you come back, look for another if they refuse to grant you leave. Who knows, better one will spring up. As per money, swallow your pride and ask assistance from your brother. If not, borrow. Ask. Some people may be willing to help in a dare situation like this.
    In whatever you do, commit it to God,ask Him to intervene for you and go be with your mum. May supernatural help locate you.

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  66. Folks in America/Europe plan accordingly. But Only in Nigeria I see parents giving birth to kids without proper planning and saying God will provide. It is very selfish for kids to go through such harsh lives. Poster 3 kids back to back with no financial means is straight up selfish and you don’t want the best for those kids honestly. I bet you, you kept popping those kids because you know say brother will always help you out with money. You and your husband dey very selfish. I’m just angry reading this chronicle.

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  67. What is your definition of buoyancy? What if your brother is going through financial challenges? Please let your husband take care of the 3kids , he wouldn’t die. Go and take care of your mum.

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