Hmmm....
SERIOUS MATTER LOADING:
I got married about 5 months ago and I have a friend who also became my hubby's friend through me. So we had an event to attend and I invited her to accompany us to the event. So before we left for the event I had little issue with my husband and wasn't speaking to him.
When the event was almost over my hubby beckoned on my friend to come and they went towards the entrance of the venue and started discussing which I didn't have issues with but I started getting upset when the discussion wasn't coming to an end and almost everyone had left the venue, so when the last set which is a family friend was leaving I had to get up too so I could sit inside the car and when I got to where they were I told them to please hurry up and don't keep me waiting anymore else I ll pick a bolt and go home.
I still waited for another 20mins before they came out and by then I was seriously angry and told them that I was almost leaving before they came and they entered the car and we drove my friend to her house and went home.
I noticed my friend who normally chats me always to check on me and my baby (I'm currently pregnant) stopped and I didn't bother myself. Few days after then was her birthday and I called her wished her a happy birthday and my hubby promised her that we will come over when I close from work but unfortunately we couldn't make it which she was angry about and I apologized and we went after a week and took herself and her sister out and everything was fine. Because we are close I had to ask her why she hasn't been checking on my baby as she always does and she said she is staying away from me because of pregnancy hormones because of how I reacted at the event.
She sent a long voice note and I apologized and asked her not to be angry that I actually reacted that way not because of her. But she insisted she's staying away from me because of pregnancy hormones that if I need anything she will always help me.
Please didn't I have the right to be angry after being left alone for almost an hour? Note: so many of my husband's friends and their wives observed the long discussion which didn't go down well with them and some had to call me the next day that they didn't like what they saw and I assured them everything was fine. Even my husband said his friends confronted him too.
Your friend is staying away from you to kill the closeness cos something is up with your hubby..... Dont stress yourself but shine your eyes...
Your husband is very disrespectful, so you dont know what kind of convo they had for over an hour and you said it cool? Be there doing understanding wife until your friend becomes (or already is) the side chic....
You better sit up NOW!!!
Haba Stella... Madam, you have a right to react the way you did. He's your husband and he disrespected you with his actions in public. For your friend, maybe its time to give her some space. A real friend wont allow a man to ignore his wife because of her.
ReplyDeleteYour last Comment is on point @olomo. And please, your friends should not be your hubbys friends. He can be cordial with them, but they should not be his friends. I’m sure he was reporting you to her and your foolish friend is stupidly taking sides with him. Dump her and make sure your husband dumps her too
DeleteGiving her some space won't even solve the problem. So, it's better she pays attention and be very observant
DeleteYour husband has spit at you. He might have bad mouthed you to your friend for her to make such statement.. Isn't she supposed to ask you why you were distant at the event? 🤷♀️
DeleteSee, be observant.. Hold your husband accountable and check on their relationship.. May God settle your matter.
Stella u are wrong abeg, wasting posters time ime not cool, but i don't believe the husband and the friend have anything abeg, will they be discussing how to Fuck or what? Trust me if they were fucking or intend to, they won't even be acting too friendly when they see other people around, when chat and call dey dia.
DeleteSee advice. I drop cap for Women especially when the hear the friend is unmarried😅😅😅 This lady is probably protecting your interest in the presence of your husband because your husband might be complaining to her about your recent actions due to pregnancy hormones and you came and shouted or insulted her out of bottled anger for your husband You know how we talk to someone we are angry with conciously or unconciouslly. If she is your husband's side chick believe me she will not ask for a break from you so that you don't suspect her and she will not flount it in your presence. Let it slide. Give her space and concentrate on your pregnancy journey. All will fall back soon. Congratulations in advance.
DeleteOil dye your head, if really there is something going on between them, they will not even allow for you to see them.
Delete*chews kola*. Madam, you are pregnant, else I would've asked you to snoop well. Since you say everything is clean between them, I believe you. BUT, Your husband has no business being close friends to your female buddy, there should be boundaries/respect, abeg.
ReplyDeleteThank you sweetie. Can people not learn boundaries? Your friend, yes but not your husbands friend. They don't have any business hanging out together even if you are there 🙄🙄🙄🙄. People are dangerous these days o.
DeleteYour friend is not a good person. And your husband does not respect you.
DeleteNo be only preggy hormone until she starts experiencing same.
DeleteWhy the closeness? Make closeness no turn to shoulder to lean on. Even in pregnancy, one should be alert.
Poster,This is the time to snoop,Now that the dough is still rising.Don't sit back and assume all is well,Start your FBI game ASAP.!
ReplyDeleteI dey suspect that your friend.
ReplyDeleteThing is with your pregnancy I can't say you begin to fight.
Just do some small snooping or investigation on both of them and leave the matter. The outcome may be bad.
Your friend is about to become your husband's side chick. That's y she wants to stay away from you. Take it to leave it.
ReplyDeleteHahaha, your mind dey there.
DeleteSee how you just concluded. What if the friend was trying to broker peace between the husband and her?
DeleteMarried women will get married and cut off their single friends that have always stood by their side. Una well done. Its now a crime to be single and fine in Nigeria.
Make una no worry. All of us go marry one day.
Poster either of the red light 🚨 is happening, just be watchful, vergilant and calm and also find away to discuss your concerns with you husband when he is in a good mood or when ever you see the coast is clear. God luck! God will grant you wisdom.
DeleteYour husband is discussing heavenly issues with her, madam he is about serve you pepper at ease.
ReplyDeleteI have this feeling that something romantic is going on between them.
ReplyDeleteShe doesn't want to be close to you like before again so that you won't be suspecting her bad moves anymore trust me.
You should have walk up to them during that conversation and gist with them that alone will scatter their long gist. You can have an outting with both of them where you will confront both to see reaction.
ReplyDeleteYou can snoop your hubby phone to confirm if there is anything cooking up between both. Most times would people see a single lady gisting or close to a married man people will say you are dating the man. Once my friends get married OMG I distance myself from them , cos the world will never listen to the side of your own story since you are single.
Stay away from here and tell your husband to stay away too. It was disrespectful of them to leave you that long. Your friend is no friend cos she would’ve cut it short so ur hubby will go back to his wife.
ReplyDeleteI think you should sit up and open your eyes.I do not have a problem with your hubby discussing with your friend,I am only worried your friend changed afterwards,citing pregnancy hormones for the reason which is lame to me and she didn't bother to tell/hint you about what they discussed for an hour.In any relationship is good to always have an healthy boundaries to avoid things like.
ReplyDeletePoster start by blocking and deleting her number from your husband's phone.
DeleteLet her be talking to only you.
Stella thank you for the eyes opening, poster please sit-up and cut that friend of yours before she cut you off and monitor her closely. She is not a friend, then no Dey give goat yam to look after.
ReplyDeleteThe moment u realized the convo was getting too long, u would have gone to be with them, ur presence would have made them uncomfortable and also, or better still u would have gone home, stay away from that evil friend, she is using reverse psychology on u
ReplyDeleteWomen should do well with oppressing people
ReplyDeleteThis Stella advice is funny. lol. I dont think its that serious.
ReplyDeletePoster, i guess you over-reacted in anger when you went to tell them about keeping you waiting. Your husband shouldn't have kept you waiting for that long.
Since you have apologized to her and she still wants to be left alone, why not leave her alone too?!
Dont drag it too much.
Safe delivery.
Sista Jane.
Your friend is right and wrong
ReplyDeleteYour husband and her were probably discussing something important to you or him and she thought she was helping you guys. Problem is I’ve being on the receiving end of so called pregnancy hormones and pregnant woman’s harsh tone it can truly end a friendship. You say you apologized. Give it time. You say I started getting angry and told her. If you told her whatever it is the way I’m thinking you did, pls understand that she’s upset about the treatment. You now capped it with leaving her hanging on her birthday. That’s worth getting annoyed over.
You guys are close. Don’t listen to people who’ll always say if she’s really your friend, she’ll understand you’re pregnant and hormonal. That’s not fair to your friend.
I go with you.
DeleteI go with you. The way you talked to your friend matters.
DeleteI agree with you absolutely.
DeleteTheir discussion could be centered on the misunderstanding you and your husband had.
Probably your husband was complaining about your actions while she was defending you but at end your reaction proved your husband side of the issue to be true in her opinion.
Just use wisdom to handle the whole issue.
Spontaneous blog boo, thank you. Nawa painting her friend some type of way is all shades of wrong like why? Nawa o
DeleteI share same thought. I use to have a friend whom the husband will like to sit me down and be downloading all the ''evil'' the wife has done. I keep meditating for peace.
DeletePoster, I think your husband was "nagging" to your friend all the wrongs you have done and she was trying to broker peace only for you to come shout at them. They were wrong in discussing that long especially away from you and your comfort zone been that you are preggo but your friend is trying to stay away because there is too much drama in your family. Be cordial with her, maybe with time, things will fall in place. Wishing you safe delivery.
I don't agree with you,Here is how complaint work;
DeleteA complainant tables a matter to the mediator,It's the mediator's job to now call on the complainee to hear her own side and then draws conclusion and advices both parties.
Her friend did none of that and it looks almost as if she would prefer the quarrel to continue.There is definitely something fishy.
Honestly, I'm really surprised everyone is suspecting the friend and husband of having an affair
DeleteKrytiq she yelled at the friend that when they got in the car. At what point would the friend have mediated? All the friend might have wanted to say went out the window once the friend felt she insulted her. Your friend has feelings too. You can’t yell at me and I’ll just be happy with you by next day
DeleteMust everything center around women sleeping with their friends' husbands and boyfriends?
ReplyDeleteMe, I'm tired jare.
BITCHandSLUT.com
Some women don’t have good friends and are quick to tell others to end theirs. All I know is my mum’s childhood friend is a widow and my dad is definitely a catch. They’ve all been friends since marriage and still friends till today. That lady has helped all my mums children and relatives and my mum and dad have done same. A good friend is hard to find. Wisdom is profitable to direct. Be careful in this world but don’t throw helpers away unnecessarily and start looking up to God
DeleteYou can say that again.
DeleteThe thing tire me too.
Na wa o
DeleteShe was keeping malice with her husband for God’s sake!
The man was probably trying to make her jealous everything no be snatch Abeg!
Merryment
Poster, first I will say your husband didn't do well if you wish to know. What could he be discussing with her for that long? Even if he was complaining about you to her which is not supposed, you should be there as well.
ReplyDeleteHe knew her through you and should discuss anything with her in your presence.
Just keep observing and watching them closely. But in my own understanding, your husband didn't respect your person and when a man does that, it means he doesn't value you. In most times, this end badly.
Keep an open eyes on them.
He doesn’t have to discuss everything thru her. Will he also add her to surprise birthday or baby shower planning
DeleteHe didn’t do well by keeping her waiting but anyone can be guilty of this. People get carried away when talking and don’t know how annoying it’s getting
Your husband is probably toasting her codedly.
ReplyDeleteYour husband was so insensitive and deliberately had that long conversation with your friend to pepper you. And your friend should have known better as to entertain any of such. If what they were discussing was so important, as a friend the right thing she'd have done was discharge him and bring it up in the car on your way home with all of you together.
ReplyDeleteSuch disrespect in front of family and friends.
How did you let your husband get so close with your friend like that. Something is off abeg. If I were you, I for don tell her straight up of her wrongs that day. Tell the husband too. Make everybody respect themselves. Be watchful ooo.. Na person wey know you, they do you pass person wey no even sabi you.
You said ...deliberately had that long conversation with your friend to pepper you
DeleteYou’re assuming and saying it as fact
This is it, immediately I read the few paragraphs I knew that it was a deliberate act by the husband to pepper the wife. Some men can be very petty like that. Nothing like wanting to befriend the wife's friends. He just wanted to get on the wife's nerve which he succeeded doing. Poster you would have just ignore him. Let him get stuck with his childishness.
DeleteNa you get am, no matter the issue the couple had before going to the party, he shouldn't have used that ploy of lengthy talk with his wife's friend to get back at her. He's petty! They may not have anything going but your friend should have shown concern that they've kept you waiting. She doesn't mean well.
DeleteSomething fishy is about to happen.
ReplyDeleteThe man doesn't respect you at all. Discussing with your friend and you waited for them for that long, did your husband tell you what they discussed?
Please careful of that your friend. If she is sincere she would have told you what she discussed with your husband. Stay away from her.
ReplyDeleteThis is one of the reason some ladies stop giving their friends space in their life after they are married.
ReplyDeletePoster as a woman myself and from experience with other people, it could be your reaction was extreme and provoked the position your friend took afterward. I believe your husband should be accountable to you and like I tell myself at any point if I have issues with my husband at home and there's an outing, we'll just have to make up before leaving the house. So I'd blame you and your husband for carrying whatever misunderstanding you two had to the occasion. It's not allowed, simply because of issues such as the one you presented to us.
ReplyDeleteWhile I can't categorically agree or disagree that there could be a sinister brewing between your husband and your friend, it would be in order to be on the alert without acting it. I know pregnancy hormones can be overactive sometimes, try an get a grip on your reaction at all times. We are all sensitive to presumptuous reactions, perhaps your friend too was, to the way you reacted. Next time the minute you observed the discussion has gone beyond what you could accept, please walk up to the discussing parties and join them on it to have a feel of their pulse. Take care of yourself, may your pregnancy journey end in praise.
True
DeleteIts the outright disrespect from the husband.🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteIs your friend married, if she is not both of them do not have anything in 'common' abi what business does a married man have with a single lady? In fact be careful of who you call your friend because this aunty doesn't look one. If your husband wasn't bothered about your waiting for that long your so called friend should be bothered considering your condition
ReplyDeleteHahaha married single as you grow in this world, you’ll realize there’s no difference
Deleteanybody can help or be good to you
You can help and be good without questionable closeness to another woman's husband, make we dey talk true abeg. I avoided anything that looked suspicious as a single lady and won't tolerate this now that I'm married.
DeleteChai, Single ladies don suffer for this country!
DeleteAre you sure your husband's friends and the family friends don't know something you don't know? My brother in-law has a side chic, everyone in the family knows except the wife.during one of their brother's wedding the side chic was there but the wife didn't know.it pains me, wish I can tell her but I can't.and if you see where this couple are doing lovey dovey you will tap hmmm.beta shine your eyes
ReplyDeleteStella you get sense!
ReplyDeletePeople should learn how to do boundaries. You are my friend and not my husband's friend.
Girls do this a lot. Befor you know it she would start downloading fake gist about you to your hubby and that s then of that marriage.
Poster take care of yourself in this your condition, OK?
But please cut of your friends that becomes friends with your hubby through you.
Loyalty is dead o, so be careful.
.
They are all friends together
DeleteAll I will say is "hnnmmm". Woman, shine your eyes oo. I don talk finish.
ReplyDeleteCut every ties u have with her pls, some friends don’t have sense how will you be discussing with someone’s husband whom she introduced u too and the convo is taking too long u couldn’t involve her to know what’s up she was enjoying the moment with the man? Which kind thing be that one? Pls make her stoping visiting u, post her sef join anytime she wan see u find excuse that kind person na home wrecker oo if she call u like 6 times u no pick! She go avoid u na new marriage u de I take God beg u, u really don’t need any friend now ur hubby should be the only friend u have, since the Man U call ur husband no sabi boundaries 😏! Same thing happened to the ones I called my friends there began flirting with my husband without thinking about my feelings my cousin sister follow too that one I starting giving her attitude madam brain reset but not fully for those my friends whenever they call I will never pick even 20 times later I go just send a careless message “I de busy” another one even come my area call me I pick but I no gree her come house, she fine pass me and he wan come de like her 🙃 anytime they call na how’s your husband na Abeg make they de their de i no want pretentious friendship 🥳
ReplyDeleteMaybe your husband is planning baby shower surprise with her and doesn’t want you to know…he probably doesn’t want to be chatting her, hence the need to discuss it open. I think when you and hubby are in a good mood, try bring up the topic to know what they discussed.
ReplyDeleteP.S try Dey avoid malice for marriage, especially when you two are going out. Endeavor to always kill every form of fight, to prevent situations like this. Thanks.
You probably must have sounded really harsh and disrespectful when you went to talk to them about the time. If I were you, I'll try to find out what exactly they were talking about for that long
ReplyDeleteShe sounded harsh and her friend continued the conversation for a whole 20 minutes more?
Deleteshe is not dating your hubby trust me she is envious of u . your hubby too was trying to get back at u , he really adores your friend but not romantically. dont apologise
ReplyDeleteEnvious of what na
DeleteTypical naija woman. Every single woman is envious of them. Loool even when they are married to liabilities. Una go dey alright
DeleteShe's not your friend. If she is, she would have discharged your husband from the conversation knowing you were waiting.or even brief you. Now she's gas lighting you, making you question yourself. You should put your big girl's pants on and set boundaries before it's too late.
ReplyDeleteGbam! You have said it all, madam shine your eyes
DeleteHave you ever tried to discharge your friends husband from a conversation he started
DeleteYou have to do it with tact and wisdom if not that same friend will get mad at you when he complains you are rude
If his wife is right there and can’t stop him from talking, you now want to make it the friends job
I believe your husband has something to do with this. He bad mouthed you before her in the bid to report you to her. She should have talked to you after that conversation with your husband but then she kept it to herself which is wrong. Though she might be trying to avoid getting herself involved as husband & wife matter is not what one jumps into because last last, na you them go use settle.
ReplyDeleteSo the both of them did not gist you what they were discussing for over one hour? Ask them.
ReplyDeleteMadam, from today henceforth, any quarrel you have with your husband should end or pretend to come to an end when a 3rd party shows up!!! You gave room for that unnecessary long conversation. Why would you show the world you are quarrelling with your husband???
ReplyDeleteFriends snatching their friends husbands since 1902, husbands disrespecting Wives since 1902 abi what am I even saying seff poster just don't stress yourself over anything I wish you safe delivery .
ReplyDeleteSomeone else is piloting your ship,stop it now or it will be driven the wrong direction.
ReplyDeleteNobody reminded you about this. A wise woman builds her home. The Bible does not lie. Instead of settling your little marital issue, you kept it festering and invited a friend to keep you company in the presence of your husband at a public event so you can continue to give him the silent treatment.
ReplyDeleteHave you and your husband fully resolved the "little issue" that made you stop talking with him. What is the state of your marriage. You presented the other persons as bad. But the truth is that you and your husband are using your friend as ping-pong.
Woman, accept part responsibility for what happened. Go work together with your husband on your marriage.
some secrets are better off as secrets....
ReplyDeletehmmm I have experience this, trust me that friend and your husband are up to something. They have no biz discussing for long no matter the issue, then the discussion is one on one without interference. For family and friends to be worried, it shows you are right. There is no loyalty anywhere nowadays. Open your eyes and snoop.
ReplyDeleteIf your husband did not disclose the discussion he was having with your friend and vise versa then they both (your husband in particular) disrespected you.
ReplyDeleteMy dear you have the right to get angry, I feel every sane person would do and please let me correct you that's not cool as you said.
Even people married to the most useless husbands will say single women are envious of them. Chai God!
ReplyDeleteMy close friend's hubby started hitting on me one time. To avoid complications, I started to avoid both of them because there's hardly a way to be close to her without him having access to me. I jejely became distant. The silly girl noticed and rather than confront me, she told everyone else including her useless hubby, her mum, other friends etc. They have now tagged me jealous because she got married. Lool .. all because I chose peace. I have left them with God. All because of a man that, in the middle of gist, would talk about how my friend (his wife) is slow, unintelligent, lazy, etc while telling me he should have come for me instead. Just that one conversation, I insulted him and started to keep my distance. Today I am the enemy. E dey pain, but it is God and time that vindicate.
Goodluck to the rest of you who choose to reason like this