Hmm..
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE:
EPILEPTIC SITUATION
I have finally met the love of my life. We have been talking for 5 months now and it’s been pure bliss. Everything I prayed for, this man is But just about a week a ago, I was just diagnosed with a seizure disorder that is to say I am epileptic.
I have finally met the love of my life. We have been talking for 5 months now and it’s been pure bliss. Everything I prayed for, this man is But just about a week a ago, I was just diagnosed with a seizure disorder that is to say I am epileptic.
I have had the symptoms for years but I associated it with cold but very recently I noticed the frequency increased as I am now working class and more stressed though I am doing super well for myself and I observed that it had nothing to do with the weather. I began to suspect because I am in the medical field and lived in the fear of getting that diagnosis for about three months but I finally had to go when I noticed I am beginning to shake visibly.
My seizures all this while we’re just abnormal sensations, you won’t even know I am seizing if we are talking and in less than 5 seconds, I am back to normal.
We have been talking and it’s long distance, he’s booked a flight to see me in December and make things official. I am super worried. How can I break this news? Seizure disorders are associated with so much stigma and I am not even ready for it.
Just when thought everything about my life is too perfect to true(grew up in a very comfortable home, got admission the same year I left university, I have a thriving business, I have my daytime job that is well paid with an official car, surrounded by the best of friends and family and then I met this man) life has been very fair to me, I will not even deny this, I got this big news. I have commenced treatment though but you know I must be seizure free for two years before I come off it.
Has anyone been in this situation? How can you tell a loved one you have a chronic illness? This man is a medical doctor so even if I keep silent and on it, one day he will see me taking the medications. I really can’t hide.
We have been talking and it’s long distance, he’s booked a flight to see me in December and make things official. I am super worried. How can I break this news? Seizure disorders are associated with so much stigma and I am not even ready for it.
Just when thought everything about my life is too perfect to true(grew up in a very comfortable home, got admission the same year I left university, I have a thriving business, I have my daytime job that is well paid with an official car, surrounded by the best of friends and family and then I met this man) life has been very fair to me, I will not even deny this, I got this big news. I have commenced treatment though but you know I must be seizure free for two years before I come off it.
Has anyone been in this situation? How can you tell a loved one you have a chronic illness? This man is a medical doctor so even if I keep silent and on it, one day he will see me taking the medications. I really can’t hide.
Dont let him travel all the way to Nigeria before you tell him cos he might think you knew since and tricked him down...Do a video call and explain everything to him and let him have some moments alone to think if he wants to deal with someone who has epilepsy or not.....
If he is one of those who think it is hereditary, he may call off the relationship....
Please tell him today!
Good luck and let us know how it goes!
The best thing to do is to tell him on time if possible attach document to prove that you got to know about recently.
ReplyDeleteJust tell him. Someone who loves,loves all of you no matter what. My sister in law has same issue. We all knew before my brother married her,and no one stigmatised her till today,and she even has kids. Oldest 22yrs.
DeleteDon’t ever attach documents to a stranger
DeletePeople will surprise you. Show him the docs on video and if you must send it, be sure to cut of your identifying details
Also know even if he doesn’t share it, what if he loses his phone or someone finds it ...
You're right 15:58. Please be very careful
DeleteDont ever attach your medical documents or personal documents.
DeleteHe is NOT your husband yet.
And the internet is porous.
Have a discussion.
If he wants you, he will stay with you.
If he does, let him leave now.
You will not die.
He is just a man.
He is NOT your GOD.
I like that you are educated enough to know and understand the ailment. It seems from your write up that stress actually triggered the epileptic episode. Stay stress free. It's not easy,especially in this Nigeria that is stress filled but you can be intentional about it.
ReplyDeleteAs for your man,tell him. Let him know everything and how you are going to battle it. If he's a good one,he could even recommend better treatment over there for you. If he's for you,he will be yours. If he's not,you will be wiser for it.
I stand with this advice.. Pray too. 🙏
DeleteBest wishes.
ReplyDeleteE-hugs from me to you poster. What will be will be. Please do not hid it from him. Tell him everything, he will stay if he is yours. God be with you.
DeleteE-hug dear tell him who really Loves you will Love all off you. Good Luck
DeleteThis is really tough
ReplyDeleteSo epilepsy is a medical condition?
I thought it was spiritual,Kai
I think you should start your treatment as soon as possible so it won't be severe and cheer up too so that your body can absorb the treatment. I think you should tell him face to face too, when he comes down.Please however he takes it,try to keep your self happy,so sorry.You will be fine.
You thought epilepsy was spiritual? I have no words.
DeleteYour thoughts are wonderful.
Delete@15:32 & 16:31
DeleteWe learn by the day.
There are people who believe lightening and thunder are spiritual.
I didn't make the original comment though.
No, Stella, I don't agree with your suggestion. Sitting him down already gives an impression of something BIG. Sure, he must be told, but in a flippant manner that just charts it as one her daily struggles just like we all of challenges and not a life threatening decapitating disease. Try this, just casually mention it during a phone conversation. Darling, you are a doctor nau, please advise between drug A and B for seizures. Or what outside factors could possibly trigger seizures in asymtpomatic patients cause I was recently diagnosed with mild seizures. WamBam! done! why make a mountain out of a mole hill. So many people diagnosed with seizures go on to life a full life with help of medications. Have babies and all.
DeleteAnon you have said it all. Since the man is a med Dr, he should know better than ending a relationship because of seizures .
DeletePoster, tell him in the most casual way you can think of. If he decides to call off the relationship because of that, then he wasn't that into you. May God perfect your healing.
I think I would go with Stella's advice. It's better you let him know, than keeping it from him because he may never trust you again If he finds out by himself. If he's meant for you, he will stick with you regardless. All the best dear
ReplyDeletePoster Stella has said it all , please sickness is not something you should hide from someone you love or someone you will have something serious with. Please speak to him today and set things straight so that he will not think you kept it away from him.
ReplyDeleteIf you had gone for check up in time you would have been okay but not to worry things will get better. Just be hopeful and make sure you are open to anything.
If he walks away please do not kill your self as God will bless you with another. But i have a feeling that he will support you through this journey.
Tell him, rip it off like a band aid.
ReplyDeletePoster I will advise you go with Stella's advice. Been in this shoes before, but mine wasn't seizures. God's healing hands upon you 🙏
ReplyDeleteYou just have to tell him and see how it goes. Believe it or not, there are People that love people without prejudice, chronic illness or not, flaws or not. If he can’t deal, then the sooner u can move on instead of always living in fear of him finding out because if he sticks to the relationship long enough, he will eventually find out.
ReplyDeleteOmg
ReplyDeleteI pray God heals and perfect your health challenges.
But i think you need to let him know before he comes. Since he is a medical practitioner as you said. He may find a way around if he really loves you .
All the best dear
Dear Poster please don't fret...Epilepsy is no fault of yours so you should not be afraid to share this with the love of life..You are in the medical field so you would have a better understanding...
ReplyDeleteI understand you are scared of losing him but is it not better you let him know before he hops on the plane? You are making it look like you have a plague..Relax and breathe...
Marriage is about accepting the flaws of each other, openness and honesty.If he decides to go, it's on him not on you...Just be still in your spirit, pray to God, make that video call with him and be as honest as you can...
All the best...
Poster narrate the story to him as if it happened to someone close to you ,ask him as a doctor what advice does he have for the person, after hearing his reply then tell him the truth.he is exposed and a medical doctor,if he loves you enough he won't leave
DeleteDon’t do this 15:37 thing. It’s dishonest and frankly annoying
DeleteThank you for this@18:01.
Delete1yes don't do it, it's childish and annoying.
DeleteDear poster, this too shall pass.
ReplyDeletePls tell him. Who love you go dey for you no matter what.
May God restore you to your perfect health in Jesus name, amen 🙏
Go on ahead and tell him the bitter truth now
ReplyDeleteTell him everything he needs and see how it goes from there
If he truly loves you then you having seizures shouldn't be an issue
I wish you all the best,ma'am
Please don't hide it from him,tell him everything,if he truly loves you,that won't deter him,no one is perfect
ReplyDeleteTell me please,if he really wants to spend the rest of his life with you,be rest assured he will walk you through your healing.
ReplyDeleteI wish you God's divine healing💕
Tell him before he visits. That's the only way you can know if he's ready to stand with you through the storm.
ReplyDeleteWith God all things are possible.
I pray you get the right treatment and be healed completely.
Please tell him as it is, if he is the one for you he will stick with you.
ReplyDeleteHe might even help you seek better treatment methods since he is a medical doctor.
It is in times of challenges that we get to know the real character of people. Maybe all this is happening for a reason. So yes tell him. But prepare yourself for any eventuality. I hope it all works out for you and whatever happens, try to be strong and focus on getting you better. All will be well.
DeleteDear poster unfortunately there's no other way out of telling him.
ReplyDeleteBe ready for whatever decision he will make. Let him know ASAP, the earlier the better.
If he is your God ordained spouse he will stay with you.
It is well with you dear,....we move!
It is a medical condition with could be triggered by a number of things and I think it could also be caused by when a tapeworm gets into the brain or spine .. road side pork lovees take note
ReplyDeleteWe eat a lot of pork in Ghana but epilepsy ain't so common as seen here
DeletePlease tell him about it before he comes back,move on and take care of yourself he quit the relationship after that. I wish you well.
ReplyDeletePlease tell him about it,since,its curable,even,if its hereditary.
ReplyDeleteIf my husband can accept me with my HIV status and has never made me feel bad in almost 13 years of marriage, yours too can if he really loves you and if he's the one for you. I know someone in the same condition as yours, the hubby goes extra mile to make sure she keeps off anything that triggers it,and treats her like an egg to the extent that the wife started complaining that she's nor fragile,but the man said he doesn't want anything to happen to her and he loves her like life, if you tell him and he changed that means he isn't the one
ReplyDeleteYou guys are blessed. I'm always happy to hear there are still good men.
DeleteMost doctors I know like straight forward approach. Just call him on video call and tell him as Stella said.
ReplyDeleteHe's abroad, so I believe his mentality has been helped abit.
We all in SDK villa are wishing and praying that His love will withstand this trial. All the best. Keep us updated.
Be strong and fine too, No matter the outcome.
All of us still in the motherland are ... ?
DeleteLook from his point of view then tell him
ReplyDeleteHe too believes he has met the love of his life but he’s probably thinking it’s too good to be true.
Telling him is not the issue. You’re worried about losing him. That’s good actually. Sounds like you’re in love. Fast and pray. Call him and say you’ve been fasting like Esther because you need to have a conversation with him.....that’s that ego boosting guys like..
Thank me later
Hahaha, fasting like Esther in the bible abi.
DeletePoster I think you should be transparent with him tell him now,its better before he comes over to you, I pray everything falls in place for you.
ReplyDeletePls let him know now, there's nothing to be ashamed off, may God grant you total healing.
ReplyDeleteExactly, it can happen to anybody at anytime. He will be of help too, since he's a medical doctor.
DeletePlease tell him. You don't want to carry that weight into that marriage of you end up together. Your life is so good! God is good! And your life will continue to be good! Your world has not ended. Praying for you
ReplyDeleteEpilepsy, is a form of disorder that Nigerians attached so much sentiments to. It will be hard for him to process but will get over it. Based on your explanation the solution is with you only you are not looking at it. There's always a trigger, in your case stress from multiple sources of income in probably the trigger. Do advise you to reduce your level of stress, study yourself if the attacks reduced, then you have to change your lifestyle and working condition too. By the way, it's a life changing disorder but can be managed properly.
ReplyDeletePoster please explain your symptoms. Everyone says you should be transparent but it's not that simple. You're not thinking about just the man alone but about your future offspring as well.
ReplyDeletePoster i stand with Stella on these. Please tell him immediately. Stay strong, stay positive & take your drugs religiously, believe in your heart that everything is gonna be alright.
ReplyDeleteJust tell him and let him make his decision before coming to see you.
ReplyDeletePls dear,tell him as quickly as possible and be strong for the results of the outcome.whether he stays or leave, believe the man whom God has destined will find you
ReplyDeleteFrom what I have read about 70% of people with epilepsy can be managed by medication. First, remember your life doesn't depend on the existence of the guy. Be honest with him , if he takes a walk , move on with your life. If it was meant to be , he wouldn't walk away. Your life is more important to you and your family. God bless you
ReplyDeleteTo me this should be the first thing to let him know. Then is it transmissible and is there a cure.. wishing you the best dear
ReplyDeleteThis reminds me of one Nigerian movie I watched. The right man will surely stay don't worry
ReplyDeleteThis story makes me remember my uni roommate. She always used a particular drug and I discovered it was for epileptic seizures. We had a fight one day and I mocked her with it. Chai, when I'm upset I fight so dirty it terrifies me. May God forgive me, she's married with children now and I'm not, I sometimes wonder if it's my behaviour. Poster open up to the guy before he comes, love will definitely find a way and it doesn't stop you from getting married, having children and leading a normal life. Love will find a way, don't worry but open up to him now. Worst case you path ways and yours will come.
ReplyDeleteApologise to her and move on
DeleteMy darling let him know,if he stays he is for you,then if he goes another best wil come for you. years back what I had was seizure and it shakes me violently,my happiness was that in all those moments it never occurred outside,how it stopped I don't know too.
ReplyDeleteYou see this is how SMART people think.
ReplyDeleteYou notice something is not quite right with your body.
You immediately seek professional medical help and with clear cut strategy to hopefully get a solution.
All the while surrounding yourself with your faith and prayers.
Some of you completely deluded lots, more holy than God will balance and be drinking coconut oyl like capricorn.
Who do you think medical science, the devil abi? Issokay.
Poster speak to your man, if he's not the one, and I sincerely hope he is, at least you will know. Broken relationship is better than a bitter broken marriage.
This life no just balance at all. Poster I wish you fully recovery.
ReplyDeleteThe fact that he's a medical doctor is the reason he will not see it as a big deal, he already understand what it entails.
ReplyDeleteTell him already, even I a Pharmacist won't turn away a marriage proposal from an amazing person because of that, only if the person's seizures fall in the extreme, life threatening spectrum.