Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Sisi Senaponi's Corner - Unforseen Circumstances Slap

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Monday, September 12, 2022

Sisi Senaponi's Corner - Unforseen Circumstances Slap

 This is too funny!!!




Kpoi! Kpoi! Kpoi!

Na who dey we SDK yard e?! I greet una e!


Stellalebuckingham, how de overs? I hail o!


I say make i go comot my ghana weaving for salon,I never open door when person drag door comot for my hand enter! Eleeeeh!


Who be this? Na Wetin hapun?


If you see wetin this Aunty wear, Hian! Small pikin payint dey learn work near am! She come carry singlet without bra join!
Nne, Na as everything dey go left, na so her condiment dey follow go right!


Na hairdresser apprentice she come drag commot! The apprentice beat stupid and nonsense comot for the Aunty body! *God abeg e!*


Wetin hapun?! Make unor kill am e!


Men enter, begin seperate the matter, na as dem dey help aunty pack her bwess comot for grand, na so dem dey hep her find the pikin payint wey she wear for under!


Anor know say our Nigerian men get compassion like this, if una see as dem dey help this Aunty dey pack her spill over from front to back! Na work dem do!*sideeyes*


The Apprentice wey she come attack, na small but mighty! Make una dey fear those Togolese girls o Because dem dey respect persin no mean say make persin dey underate them!


This one finish the Aunty wey think say Instagram crase na reality crase!

One single scratch no dey Apprentice body!

*whispers* Nne, na under cabinet we begin find Aunty left high-latchis! *kiikiikii*

You wan come fight, you carry iPhone come battle front!*God abeg!*


Na the first thing wey the Apprentice fling for wall when Aunty enter the shop and land her unforseen sakumstanziz slap!


We help the Aunty pack wetin remain for her dignity inside keke, wey help us go deposit her for their estate!


All the English wey she dey speak, the only thing wah hear na soldier gonna arrest you!


I don carry my slippers jeje! This one wey inmates dey escape prison anyhow, and den dey find substitute to balance book! Before person go say I resemble the snake wey swallow money for Abuja!


I don reach house before I remember say my handbag and bible dey inside salon *sideeyes!*


Nna ehn, Nigerian fear nor be person mate abeg! If una don see soldier dey handle criminal, crime nor go ever hungry you do!


Appreh baby! You well done o! So all these time wey your oga go dey shout for your head, tell you make you kneel down like pikin, So na pity you dey pity your oga?! So na so you for panelbeat her all these while?! E nor good to underestimate persin o!


Her Oga Madam nor fit even say she wan pursue her comot! *she don employ her Master e!*

Na so we kukuma carry chair to do family meeting! So na wetin cause this kain early morning fast and furious?!


I don set my chair face road, shullincase I see say soldier mutor wan near, mah quick jump fence, tear race!


Apprentice say Aunty customer carry her pimp for man wey be her Male Boss for company.


Aunty lie give apprentice say, na 200k the Bossman pay. So she comot 50k, give the apprentice 150k!


Aunty say the Bossman dey disturb the Aunty too much for work, so na beg she beg Apprentice to borrow her 'her under' to gaan knack her Boss wey like petite and yellow gehs with back load!


Na when Apprentice reach there, Boss man see say na under 21, so he no gree knack. He ask if the girl collect the money? Apprentice say na 150k! Bossman say Nooo Na 500k he give Aunty!


As Aunty tell him say na her cousin she wan bring for him wey be clean geh and she be 25years.

Nna ehn, Na so Bossman give Apprentice 350k extra, tell her make she wear cloth dey go house. He no gree touch her as he pity her hustle story!


So na for Aunty salary Bossman comot the 350k, in advance on top 80k monthly salary!


Na Bossman tell Aunty for phone say if she wan resign, no problem, but she must work for the months wey the money go cover! Say she wan ruin his career by setting him up with under 21.


So na the vex Aunty carry come salon to beat person pikin, but she nor know say this girl sabi flog Adort!


Na two days later, I jam the Aunty for Super market as she hang her hand for neck!

Her own story be say she send the apprentice to go do interview with her Boss for 'Friday night inside hotel' *sideeyes*
Wey she tell the girl to wear 'very' short dress as the job interview get drezzcode.


I say una nor dey do interview for daytime? Which kain job person wey nor go secondary school wan get for inside hotel?!


She say apprentice go lie give her Boss say she send her to come seduce him!


I say so how money matter take enter?! Aunty say the apprentice thief the man goldnecklace wey he comot as heat plenty during the interview. *you know say the necklace be like duvet!* *sideeyes*


She say so na the money for the necklace her Boss threaten to remove from her 80k monthly salary until 500k complete!


I say na wa o! Why she nor just bring police to arrest the girl and collect the gold, wey she come chop early morning wotowoto free of charge?!


Aunty say there is no need! Say she's bigger than 500k! Hmmm...mmm.. I say where dem soldier wey she wan bring that day?


She say she no wan waste her time dealing with the small girl!


Na for my front person ask Aunty say wetin do her hand? She say na armed robber attack! Hian!


I say na wa o, Aunty so as you see me like this, be like say dem put me tribal marks like 15, 15 for my face!


She say she nor understand. I say e better make I comot before she begin understand! To sidon inside cell nor be for the feeble minded abeg!





Hahahahahahahahahah i wonder how i manage to understand this pidgin, i don laugh tire

Unforseen sakumstanziz slap? hahahaahahahahahahhahahahahahaha

25 comments:

  1. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ Dis sisi senaponi na clown. You too funny abeg. And your amebo no get rival

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. chai!! so so funny. See correct pigeon English ooo. I wan learn too

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  2. Sisi I no the like to miss your segment,anytime when I no see am quick na race I the use rush go back to read,laugh wan faint me.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ewoooo, this na my best column for the blog,sisi my pidgin dey learn work for where u dey, I carry nyash up for youπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ "soldier gonna arrest you"" πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚, as per arrester.

    ReplyDelete
  4. True true this gist sweet no be small thing ehh.
    Good for the aunty weh no sabi respect herself, but da her boss na wicked man sha

    ReplyDelete
  5. StellaBirmingham πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚. I love this column ❤️

    ReplyDelete
  6. Stellaburkingham πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜πŸ˜πŸ˜

    ReplyDelete
  7. Sisi haff tear my mouth with lafff o. You be cray, I swear.

    ReplyDelete
  8. I de gbadun this Sisi gist, walahi. Amebo fit you no be small🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣🀣

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Amebo na her work nah πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†

      Delete
  9. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ aunty don jam the one wey pass am

    ReplyDelete
  10. 🀣🀣🀣🀣 this Sisi you be something else I swear. Necklace heavy pass duvet 🀣🀣

    ReplyDelete
  11. Sisi come we yard...make you for take award.... LMAO

    ReplyDelete
  12. SisiQueenConsort, I raise hand for you.lol

    ReplyDelete
  13. hahahahahaha all this girl can sabi fight nonsense when e comes to matter like tbis.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I don laugh well we'll
    You really sabi the work sisi.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Lolz sisi you're talented
    .... Lizzy wrote it...

    ReplyDelete
  16. The best column after chronicles.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Make amebo nor injure you one day sisi πŸ˜‚

    ReplyDelete
  18. Sisi,you too like amebo.but I like as you dey use sense do your own. More ink to your pen.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Sisi's hailing of Stella is one of my best parts. Her gisting is so good too.

    ReplyDelete
  20. πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†πŸ˜†. Whenever I see this segment like this, na run I dey take open am and I always dey ready to laff. Welldone Sisi

    ReplyDelete

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