STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
QUICK ADVICE NEEDED FOR SHOCKING NEWS
I have been dating my female boss for a while now.
I have been dating my female boss for a while now.
She's a widow and doesn't have a child yet.she is still in her early 40s while i am in my early 30s.
She spoils me with so much money that I lack nothing financially. Dont forget, I work for her in her late father's company so she's in charge of all finances in the company.
We have started planning marriage.
The last time we went out to Dinner , she made a revelation that shocked me.
She says that she is SS!!!!
I didn't even bother asking about her genotype all these while but she wants us to still go ahead with the wedding preparation knowing that i am also a carrier (AS).
The question now is, should I continue with this relationship knowing her genotype and the risk attached to having children?If I stop the wedding preparation, i am at a risk of losing my job and all the money and assets.
Things are difficult in the country presently. how do I survive without a job?
*WHAT!!!!!
I am not shocked at her news, I am shocked at your reaction!
You want to go ahead and marry her to keep the Job and all the things you stand to gain? Call off that wedding now while you can, the pain and tears that will come will be bigger than the enjoyment.. I feel like cursing you out for wanting to milk the situation you find yourself but i no blame you, nah devil i blame...
Don't be greedy. End that relationship and move on with your life.
ReplyDeleteThink about the pain you will cause innocent children and the sleepless nights their mother will have?
If this woman was a commoner, I bet you wont seek for people's advice. You would have ended it right thee,
Move on and stop being greedy!
This is 2022, you can still marry her and do IVF. It's usually poor people with no option that suffer, rich people have plenty options. My aunt had 3 kids via IVF, both parents AS.
DeleteAnon 15:22, you make sense. But poster, the undertone of your chronicle shows you're a greedy person. You have not even considered all the options available, but is worried about what you stand to loose if the relationship is called off
DeleteGod bless you 15:22
DeleteEverything is not about being greedy. In this life you have to think ahead and plan for future and with the help of technology and God too, a lot of things can be achieved.
DeleteHe can use IVF and selection to birth his kids. They have money and they can afford it. There are so many ways to go about it and find solutions.
Poster, don't stop the wedding but you need to discuss the genotypes issues and how to go about it with her. There's always a way out.
Everyone marry for one reason or the other.
to me, seems you guys are already doing this, go for the IVF before marriage, you guys are not kids, because if marriage enters and you guys have a baby immediately before the IVF, take it from me, the suffer and pain is enough to even scatter the marriage. SS patients suffer from childhood till adulthood, especially if the parents are not well to do.
DeleteI'm with you @ anon 15:22. Or you people can opt for adoption. Please if you love her, go ahead, leave sentiment aside, don't listen to anybody telling you to leave.
DeleteWill she agree to having kids with donor eggs from an AA woman who will also be your surrogate? This seems like the best option to me because carrying pregnancy is risky for an SS lady, talk more of one in her 40s.
DeletePeople talk about that gender selection stuff, means you will keep aborting if the foetus is SS, do you know the trauma involved? And the woman in question isn't that young, it's really wise that you are rationally thinking of your future.
Many people get carried away with emotions and start having problems later, please convince her to agree to surrogacy from an AA lady who can also donate eggs, you guys should pay her well and collect your children, after all money dey and your wife's health won't be at risk.
Is it a woman with sickle cell that you people want to undergo IVF? And then give birth? That’s way too much stress and it’s likely to go wrong. Only viable advice would be to adopt
Delete18:48 the doctors can manage it well
Deleteselection in Ivf is done before implantation so no abortion is needed
Read up on it
The science has gone far
Anon 19:03, but science does not change the fact that it will be really stressful for this woman to carry pregnancy.
DeletePregnancy is challenging for even a very young, healthy woman, not to talk of an SS woman in her 40s.
For all we know sef, this woman probably does not even want to carry any pregnancy.
Poster greed is worrying you!! You should be talking to this your girlfriend about these your fears and finding ways forward but MBA, you wan sha chop.
@19.03
DeleteThe science has already shown that Pregnancy is a lot of stress on people with sickle cell. Not to talk of IVF. And then considering her age. It’s too much of a high risk ( a triple high risk if you may). Her health and life would be too much at stake, and all for what? To birth a child for someone who is with her for her money. The way you people throw around IVF like it’s a magic solution.
Poster 15:22 's advice.
Delete22:07 it’s her choice to make
DeletePlus she can do the egg retrieval anc use a surrogate to minimize stress
Go ahead and get married but don't have kids.
ReplyDeleteYou and your wife should go for adoption.
You just took the words right outta my mouth...
DeleteMy advice too
DeleteWhy? When there’s ivf
DeleteThere are too many success stories
Marry her and go for IVF
DeletePoster, please love this wife and remove your eyes from the assets. Earn your own respect too. Marry her if you do love her for her and not for not her wealth. Please stay faithful to her.
DeleteMoney dey so make una do IVF.
Poster you don't love her, you are a gold digger with a human ATM. Men are the most craftily coldly calculating of creatures.
DeleteIf you do go ahead, kindly treat her with KINDNESS it is the very least you can do
You want to go ahead with the wedding and bring innocent children to this world to suffer for your selfishness? How will you not consider going ahead when she’s spending endlessly on you 🤷🏿♀️ and you are enjoying the baby boy life?
ReplyDeleteOga, better call off that wedding. You can start looking for other job openings. I can bet you don’t love her, you are only interested in her wealth.
Dante, is this one not a simp?
Sluttychic.
I feel bad that in all your narrative, you didn't talk about how you feel about her as a woman! All you are interested in is the assets you stand to gain. I pray she sees your chronicle and decide to pay you back by using you to father her kids. Nonsense man!!!
DeleteMy thoughts exactly @Silky
DeleteAnd people are quick to call women gold digger, who are you with this your mentality? So all the money she has been giving you, what have you been doing with it? I don't really pity you, I pity the woman more, she will be at the receiving end because you will abscond when you people start producing SS kids.
ReplyDeleteCan't even imagine how that woman would agree to marry an AS despite all the crisis she would have experienced in her life.
Get a life of your own and go and work your ass out, stop being a lazy man
*Larry was here*
Lazy man? How? Was he not working before the lady approached him? He should abandoned the goodies offered to him when there are ways to solve it. Use IVF.
DeleteAnon 15:59
DeleteWhen he add pricktocurrency then it wasn't work only again, he is a very greedy user
Please poster,dont let greed becloud your reasoning,bikonu. Abort the plan.
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣🤣 lol poster let me laugh well
DeleteYou are AS. You do know people reject marrying AS too yo avoid same thing. Leave her and continue dating and you’ll probably come across same reaction when As or AA girl hears you are SS. It’s not them say. I have seen it happen. Boy you better stick with this lady. You seem to like her a bit and she must not be having serious sickle issues if you haven’t noticed on your own or maybe you just don’t know much about the illness. SS have kids. Only thing is to do ivf and be careful
Nawa oooo
ReplyDeleteI will address this in two ways:
ReplyDelete1. Regarding your mindset
2. Pratical advice
1. You are quite selfish, your thoughts are all centered around financial benefits off her. Nothing about emotions, care, kindness.
You think you're doing her a favour, whilst you gain money and all.
I don't need to tell you how wrong you are, main thing is, you'd baondage yourself because you're a lazy man. Whom with the money so far, and the skills you're supposed to be gaining, are still not brave enough to leave and build yourself.
2. If you still choose to go ahead.
Two things you both must do
1. Use condom when having intercourse to prevent getting pregnant.
2. Then got to the sickle cell foundation at LuTH,Lagos.
Request for
Women and change of mouth. Now, he's a gold digger? people marry for different reasons best known to them. He too will marry to secure his future.
DeletePeople's genotypes have been changed supernaturally. Poster, if you love this lady, commit it into God's hands and ask for help. The genotype will change.
Go ahead with the wedding jor.
Let us tell ourselves the truth there isn't love in what he is saying
DeleteThat’s how one efulefu married me because of this standing to gain something danburoba shege
ReplyDeleteLol... After dem go say na only women dey dig gold.
ReplyDeletePoster, that thing wey dey your mind na the thing you go do. All this shalaye na to confuse us.
Na wetin i wan talk be that. No waste your time, he already knows what he 'gonna wanna' do. He will play unbothered and proceed to save as much as his pockets can carry and find a bride of his geno compatibility.
DeletePoster please don't be greedy, end that relationship ASAP.
ReplyDeleteBesides did she threatened to sack you if you stop dating her??? She might be considerate enough to let you go without loosing your job.
She is not your God poster ,if you lose your job, God will show up for you, please end that relationship it is not worth risking the lives of your unborn innocent children.
Do not listen to her .
DeleteListen to her
DeleteHave conscience, DON'T BE A USER
So you wan because of greed put some innocent children in pain, yeah? It's not even that you love the woman or anything it's because of what you are gaining/stand to gain. Hadn't been the woman wasn't rich you would have cut off as soon as your heard the first S. Please, you two should just stop everything about marriage plan and save some innocent souls a lifetime pain
ReplyDeleteJesus have you guys not heard of ivf
DeleteBro. Truth is you don't love this woman. It's all about the money hence you even mentioned her as your boss and emphasize on the money part. My sincere advise for you is do not marry her. Not only because she's SS but because you will feel miserable in that marriage.
ReplyDeleteSeat her down and have a heart to heart with her. If you go about the divorce tactfully, considering her emotions without hurting her and not disrespecting her, women are soft in nature. She will even establish you or keep you at post till you are ready to change job.
Let me ask though, why haven't you saved any money from the spoiling she's been spoiling you?
2. Request to see a doctor and explain your health situation.
ReplyDeleteYou'd both be counseled and then have to plan an ivf procedure where fertilized eggs will be screened, and only eggs without ss would be transferred to her.
There's also an option of pre screening the eggs and your sperm for genotypes, fertilize them before transfer.
It wouldn't cost more than 4m.
You said there is money, so funds shouldn't be an issue.
Just be emotionally available.
But man, you have to be kind and show her care.
She deserves love, care, kindness. Sos or not.
Thank you o
DeleteWhat’s all this walk away story
Now, you are making sense. Thank you for wearing your thinking cap. Gone are those days you forfeit a golden opportunity life offered you based on emotions. There's always a solution.
DeleteAs men are known for being emotional abi
DeletePoster don't cheat on her and treat her fine
Repay her care with roper loyalty
Hmmmmmm... Not easy to walk away but if you don't make sure you try having babies only through IVF
ReplyDeleteYou don't even need anyone to tell you to quit that relationship knowing the risk involved. Don't be blinded by material things.
ReplyDeleteYou both can adopt but if you both want your biological kids from this union, see a doctor at the center for sickle cell diseases in Luth for medical advice,if your wife can go through prenatal diagnosis.
ReplyDeleteShe is also 40, when will she start having babies? you want to marry your sugar mummy, who does that?
ReplyDeleteSomeone who loves her and has sense
DeleteWhat of ladies that marry their sugar daddy?
DeleteSo shameful
Deleteare you God, have you not seen women of 40s and above birth. There is IVF
Deletestop sounding like God cos you are not one.
I wish you have seen the pains SS children go through, you would not need advice to know what to do. Pls if you decide to marry her because of the good things you enjoy, don't bring any child to this world to come and suffer from your foolishness oo.
ReplyDeleteCall off the wedding poster. I'm a living witness of such marriage, although I have never regretted it, because I'm AA while my late husband was SS. All my kids are AS.
ReplyDeleteCan you be able to stand it, seems like your eyes are closed because of money, but if it's true love then ..
I have a lot to write about this but...
Does she have children from the previous marriage? If yes,
ReplyDeleteHave a heart to heart conversation regarding the implications of the both of you having offspring. Tell her you don't want children only because of that singular reason... Continue with your marriage preparations if she agrees.
*Here are options;
1) Surrogate
2) Adoption.
She might be heart broken if you opt out just like that.
Can't you read? It's clearly stated that she doesn't have kids. Gosh!
DeleteYou are seeing fire and u want to jump right in?
ReplyDeleteThere’s no fire here
DeleteYou’re abroad. You know about ivf don’t you
Even if he leaves her what if the next is AS, he’ll leave that one too and be searching for AA cause AA is the only safe place for his AS. Otherwise he must use ivf
When he finds the AA,the AA family will say no because they don’t want their child to give birth to AS kids that will start writing chronicle in 21 years
No fire here
Deletena longer throat and greed.
DeleteSome say there are medical procedures for pre-selecting non-sickle cell Children. Since there's money, why don't you agree on that before marriage.
ReplyDelete👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾👏🏾
DeleteFrom what you wrote, it's obvious you don't love her, you simply knacking and resetting her waist for monetary gains. If you love her, you will tell her your genotype, if she insist, then marry her and go for assisted reproduction which would produce AS kids only(more AS population). If you don't tell her and you go ahead and marry her coz job no dey, that means you deceived her and na God go punish you, coz she will sack you for deceit, except she be olodo.
ReplyDeletePoster follow your heart.if u feel you can manage with having kids of such genotype.then good luck to you.the most importantly,is doing what makes you happy.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, you don't love this woman. It is clear that it is the job and the fact that she spoils you that is the catch. On a normal day you probably won't date her. Pls let her be. She will find someone who will love and care for her. You are there for the gains. This union will be dead on arrival. The motive is wrong.
ReplyDeleteShe may not find
DeleteSo let him enjoy the money while she enjoys the marriage
Life is give and take
She will find AA men are not scarce, poster doesn't even love her so no need. Poster don't be a leech, be honorable for once
DeleteThis one just decide to chuck two legs inside hot charcoal, hope you know these goodies you are enjoying will stop when u get married or you think she doesn't know what she is doing cleaning you up with money. When reality sets in will you be able to cope... Being As or SS isn't such an issue with money things can be sorted.
ReplyDeleteDo you guys know what it takes to get a good job in Nigeria?poster pls do what you think is best for you,your finances and your stability.do not listen to all these people calling you greedy cos they will not leave if they were you.
ReplyDeleteWhenever you start a new relationship, pls try and know their genotype to avoid story that touches the heart.
DeleteI can’t believe people are telling this poster to potentially go back into poverty and instability because of something they are not even sure of,something that hasn’t even happened yet.What if they can’t have children,what if they can afford to do ivf or don’t even want children and only want to adopt?I don’t understand you people o.is it sense you don’t have or exposure?
DeleteYou are not AS you are AA.
ReplyDeleteYou are worried about SS and looking for a less guilty way out.
What if she's your sister
Would you want her to marryv someone like you
He has told you what he’s worried about
DeleteHe’s worried about poverty
IVF can save you from birthing babies that are carriers. That is if you truly love her; but if you intend marrying her out of what you stand to gain please stop that now. Don't be greedy. Don't go and milk her of her monies, save up from your own salary and start up a business. Are you a lazy man? Move out from there and look for something else to do. Most of us here managing our lives just to make sure our new business stands. You are still young so you have time to find yourself.You can survive without her if you are determined. Suffering will not last a life time. You will definitely bounce back, just give yourself one or two years.
ReplyDeleteDon't mind the thief
DeleteHer father who left something for his daughter to inherit wasn't a man abi?
This is 2022. I’m surprised people are telling him to call off because of SS. There are options especially as the couple is well to do.
ReplyDeleteiVF and selection is very much available to them.
They most likely should even use surrogate so as not to compromise the woman’s health
He come for the money o, money ehh... 🎶 🎵....
ReplyDeleteOk poster go ahead , I heard there are some medical procedures they so to select the foetus that is not SS..
I don't know how to explain it but discus it with your woman and see what you guys can do about this.
Gold digger spotted😳
ReplyDeleteA very shameless one. Dunno why Stella isn't posting my comments
DeleteGo ahead ,marry her if you really love her and go for ivf,you nor come this life come suffer o......... Josaria
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteIf you born SS child,you go suffer and the child go suffer.
Call it off and move on.
this is a very sensitive matter. I don't really know what to say. Anyway,
ReplyDeletewhatever steps you want to take on this matter, may God direct you. Amen🙏
The few things you listed about this lady, has to do with her wallet size and nothing else.
ReplyDeleteYou didn't mention your feelings for her; her personality, traits etc. It was just financial talk from the beginning of your write-up to the end!
There are medical procedures that can prevent future mishaps with both of your genotypes...but I really hope this lady cancels the wedding, because you are not going into it for the right reasons.
Some may say that both of you stand to gain something. She will gain a 'Mrs' title and possible kids, whilst you gain financially...but the sadness she feels right now, as a 40-something year old childless and unmarried woman, pales in comparison to the heartache you will cause her in future!
What if in the future she has financial crisis. Wld you still love her?
ReplyDeletePoster, you seem to be interested in her money, no love. Its obvious when she's down financially, you wld pick your shoes and run!
Tell her today your true intentions towards her before going ahead with the wedding plans or having kids
So because country is hard and for all the goodies you are getting from this lady you want to put the life of your unborn kids in jeopardy?? You didn't even indicate something like you love this lady and you don't want to loose her rather you are concern about what you are gonna loose if you don't marry her. Who told you that you can't get another job and live a better life if you don't marry this lady?. I am sorry but everything about you scream GREEDINESS. Then what happenes if after marriage she doesn't have company for you to work or all the goodies to give to you then you would jakpa from the marriage. 😕
ReplyDeleteYou people saying ivf..do you now the rigours of ivf talkless for an SS lady? The two ladies i knew , one died after childbirth(cs) and the other after birthing her second child too through cs cos doctors don't even allow them birth naturally. So even if she goes through ivf selection to birth and survive later when the body is recuperating is also a hulucean task on its own.
ReplyDeleteIvf and surrogacy is an option together
DeleteOh thank you very much!!! The way people just mention IVF as if it’s easy. I know the toll that ordinary Clomiphene and progesterone took on my body, I keep postponing starting IVF because I can’t afford for my body to be knocked out for a few months, and I’m young. not to mention a 40 year old woman with sickle cell. I don’t even know if many doctors will be willing to undertake such a high risk procedure for her when pregnancy itself is a high risk for SS. The poster being that he’s after his own gains will tell the woman to do IVF. I hope she’s wise.
DeleteMy own ss friend is raising her kids
DeleteIt’s even the husband that is a suspect human
The kids and mom are doing great
Anyone can die from child birth. Yes there are risks with all
22:15 everyone is not same
DeleteThose I’ve known that did ivf had no side effects. I did the egg part already and I was just fine
Even the needles didn’t hurt as I thought
Me
ReplyDeleteIf you marry for the wrong reasons, without love, when adversity comes things will be exposed. You are ten years younger than her, does she know your real age or you lied to her? She deserves to know your real age, your feelings for her ( whether there is love or not). In 10 years time she will be in her 50s and you will be in your 40s. Time goes by & things can change. Why do you feel hopeless? You don’t have to marry someone you don’t love nor does she deserve someone who doesn’t love her.
ReplyDeleteThere is a societal responsibility to eradicate Sickle cell by trying to avoid this kind of union of SS and AS. You owe it to your kids. It’s even a miracle that she is ok and doesn’t seem to get sick often or does she? I hope you don’t have sinister plans because it might shock you to realize that even if you outlive her you won’t get a dime of her dad’s money in that Nigeria. Her relatives are probably watching you already.
It’s 2922. You don’t have to end the relationship. You can do ivf Bd choose the genotype if the child. But do you live her? It’s better to leave her and her assets now let her enjoy them in peace not to use her and dump her later.
ReplyDelete