Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...


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Friday, January 27, 2023

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...



Guys, how do you handle a man who’s not emotionally available? I’m so tired of my marriage and the lack of affection, passion and emotions.

We live like Roommates and just care for our kids. it’s been like that for some time now. My love language are hugs, kisses, affection and he knows this but deprives me of it but wants to bang of course. 

Almost 10 year marriage. Any tips and advise?

You married him right? this means that he understood your love Language and gave it to but right now he is no longer right? its not always about you women always complaining of emotionally unavailable husbands... Do you know the way women go through menopause or are perimenopausal is the same way men go through midlife crisis?
Some dont even understand the changes their bodies go through and they shut down emotionally....

Why dont you read up about midlife crisis in men and try to note if this is what your man is going through and how you can help him?
Meanwhile invent all that emotion on your kids until things get back to normal or you both reach an agreement to tackle the problem together..


  1. Dude is bored of doing the same thing over 10 years, it happens as years fly by. I may be projecting, because I'd feel bored and relaxed too.

    1. Love language yen yen yen... Marriage of over ten years and you bring your husband online because of this 'love language' rubbish like you're one yr2 university girl.
      Man wey dey think of how to survive him family for this difficult country.
      Don't worry, you've come to the right place because you'll surely get the approval your ears are itching for from the agents of anti-happy marriage and anti-men that abound here.

  2. While I'm not making light of your complaints, I'll have to ask why is it that you are waiting for your spouse to initiate these things? If you like hugging, kissing and affection, you have to give them to him! Initiate! Why wait? If he doesn't reciprocate, then you sit him down and discuss your feelings.
    Stop assuming that your partner should know what to do to make you happy. We each own our happiness and are consciously responsible for it.
    He has his own love language. When was the last time you spoke it? I hope you are not part of the wrapper tying gang? Madam okonjo iweala of the four corners of the house. Don't expect your husband to be all over you when you are probably not attractive to him because you have 'settled'.

    Take action, work on resuming the fire in your home. If that doesnt work, then let your spouse know that you are feeling neglected.

    1. Poster pls read DogAlmighty's comment and do d needful.sometimes we forget our husbands have feelings too and need us to something new,take him out if u can afford it,buy a new nighty,call him while his at work for no serious reason,cook something nice,hug him also,smother him with kisses and try something new in za Oda room.make him want u more and more.spice everything up.if dis doesn't work,den u have a tuk with him but from a good place.wish u luck dear.

    2. She is not waiting for him to initiate things. From what I read he does not initiate or respond. I have seen it happen and the man is simply tired. That’s it

  3. MAYBE now that the children are growing he doesn't want them to see all the pda from you two. Since he just wants closed door activities. If this is the case, then I don't see anything wrong. Also is money coming in like before? it could be that he has a lot on his mind; everything is on the increase; rent,fees food items but same salary .

  4. madam communicate with your husband, if he was giving you all you wanted from the beginning and right now you are not getting it from him, please speak with him. Take him out and speak your mind to him, look for possible ways to rekindle your love life.

    As your husband what you did wrong, is possible you ignored his complaints from the beginning, and right now he is fed up with your attitude. Don't sit down and wait for oga to make the move toward restoring emotions. Please make some moves to see how you can rekindle it back.

    Finally, do the things that make him get to that point. Abi you do not know his mumu button? someone that you are married to for 10 years you should know how to get them to do things.

  5. My darling welcome to the club, I no complain again ooo, I hug my children many times daily, perk them on their cheeks, tell them I love them almost every morning and I get I love you too from them.
    Just like Stella said ,Channel the emotions to your children

    1. Annon 15.52,it sounds like uve given up y na? I don't know wat ur facing but have u tried to spice things up? Wat was his response?I know some men just enjoy being disconnected but don't let it go just like dat.d kids are watching let them feel love and happiness and grow in it from both of you.good luck

    2. Also to add to what Lyrix said, those kids that you hug, kiss, say I love you too andh channel all emotions to will grow up and leave, then what? You and Oga go just dey look ground realizing that the marriage was all about the kids and with the kids now gone, nothing remain again. Abeg, get in there and light it up joor!!

  6. Everything in life has time and season it will soon pass if he is not cheating then no cause for alarm and prayer will help what men wisdom can't do God power can do it

  7. If he was not like this at the beginning then that means something changed along the way.
    I think you should book a weekend vacation just for the both of you.
    Have fun, and then talk a lot.
    Ask him what he wants from you and then ask him to ask you what you want from him.

    Pray before you do this. I believe your situation is salvageable.

    If he doesnt bulge, then leave him. Face your children but also pray and speak over his life everyday.
    if e tire you, then leave.,

    Hugs sis

    Mma Nwachukwu.

  8. Emotionally unavailable. Oyibo supor.
    He is your husband for 10 years. Why you people find it hard to communicate with Una husband dey tire person?

    Communication..... Communication.. talk to your husband no be to only knack be communicating

    1. If they don't respond or don't see anything wrong nko

    2. Talk to him and tell him how you feel

  9. Some people are unbelievably insensitive. Do you people think marriage has to be all flaming and bubbly for ten years? No, no one is saying there must be quarrels or trouble but sometimes the fire drops or flattens because of other serious life issues and adults who think they are mature enough to be married ought to know that.

    It can’t always be about how you feel and what you want all the time. Men dey really try abeg. No one asks them what they want because they hardly cry or complain because to an average nigerian women, what else does a man need if not sex… so once she f*cks him she assumes she has done her part just like this poster implies ‘he wants to bang’. After all thats all most nigerian women has to offer save a few others but the man has to be there emotionally, financially, solve family challenges, solve work/business issues and still cater for larger percentage of his wife’s family burden.
    After all that you’d still have the temerity to talk about him to your friends that he doesn’t suck your bellow or come online and tell strangers of how unromantic he is.

    Go ask any woman who contributes more in her family…who has to work hard because of the heavy responsibilities on her shoulders if it’s easy to return home and still have all the juice and honey bubbly and flowing in her…enough to want to start sucking her husband’s d*ck after the long day’s hustle and tussle.

    It doesn’t mean romance must die because of life challenges but there are times when some factors are the major causes and an adult ripe enough to be a mother or father should know this.
    Not go online and start reporting your wife or husband.

    1. One thousand likes to your comment, @15:57.

    2. She is anonymous, it is better she speaks up instead of resenting him quietly

  10. Women and their love language sef. Madam, this man even wants to bang you, that one no do you? What if he doesnt even bang you at all? If he doesn't do them, do it to them and live happy. Life is not that difficult.

    1. Crumbs gratitude is what you are preaching

  11. If he was not like this at the beginning of your marriage, check and think deep. There may be an unresolved issue or an issue resolved as you wanted but not as he wanted.

    In addition to all the men challenges mentioned above, how does a man live with a woman who refuses to change?. The man talks. She apologize. She repeats. And the circle continues. If the issue is important to the man, the emotional part of the marriage goes. And it is worse with monogamous non cheating husbands

    But because the man is doing all including ... the woman does not know. She thinks all is well. Like Poster, she may be complaining about the painting on the wall when the foundation of the wall is weakening.

    Poster, check your marriage foundation first.

  12. Living like roomates is almost when a mareiage has reached the scrap yard. But like someone above said it is salvageable. You both are older now, you have changed in different ways. I do not like when couples stop going out on dates and doing things together. If you have to pencil in Wednesday at 8pm every week for just the two of you then do it. If all you are going to do is play scrabble or monopoly then do it. Just craft out something that is only for you without the kids or anyone else.

    Also be polite, I see so many couples who speak to each other anyhow. If you are talking to strangers better than you talk to your spouse you are diminishing your relationship. Even I have had to check my own mother on this with her words sometimes, so unnecessary. Yes, you are casual because of all your years together, but you should never be impolite. Men love to feel appreciated, if he is doing stuff and you can't even say thank you or appreciate his efforts he will go find appreciation elsewhere. Even if he is the richest man on earth you should always appreciate his labour for the family. Some ppl go through hell on their jobs to earn their living, you will not always know what he is going through, but your appreciation will make him feel better and connected.

    He could be having problems at work or with money which will make him appear aloof. If you know he is going through some things it may not be the best time to be thinking about your needs. If that is not the case, then ship the children to the grandparents for abweekend and go away somewhere, even if you cannot go away plan some local outings and get reconnected.

    Like you, I am a tactile person and love affection, but I am not necessarily waiting for anyone to show me affection. I will initiate, so initiate just before falling asleep kisses and morning kisses. I probably touch everyone in my household ten times a day. Get touch feely with him, you don't have to be in the bedroom to touch him or give him a simple peck on the cheek.

  13. You are just a selfish person. Have you asked me if he`s going through anything lately? All you think is about yourself and your love language. Be the change you want to see in the world and in your married life.

  14. Agadi na gwo oveh27 January 2023 at 21:30

    The signs were obviously there before marriage nah but you chose to ignore. Cmon you’ve been married to this man for ten years and know that he’s not the emotional available kinda person yet you want a miracle to happen all of a sudden?
    You need to grow up dear

  15. You all should stop dismissing her concern. Chances are high that another woman is getting the love language from him

    1. Madam get a flimsy night gown and wear no panties. Turn your back to him and position your passport office to his line of vision. Shave well o


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