Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Saturday In House Gists - The Good And Bad Of A Polygamous Setting..

Advertisement

Advertisement - Mobile In-Article

Saturday, January 07, 2023

Saturday In House Gists - The Good And Bad Of A Polygamous Setting..

 You cant really call a Polygamous home a home right? its a house.. lol



Did you grow up in a polygamous house? Was it so good that you can relive the experience with a smile or so bad that you are team one man one wife/one wife one man?

Do you want to gist us about what growing up in polygamy looks like? Or are you still living inside a polygamous home? Did it impact on you positively or negatively?

I grew up in a polygamous home and the experience was horrible... It was not so bad in the beginning but it turned really toxic when the other wife decided to move into the house, The drama and all sorts began in full force....

Lets gist!

46 comments:

  1. I didn't grow up in a polygamous home so I don't have an experience to share. Let me read and learn.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Anyone that wants to chook head inside polygamy is welcome for them ooo. E no konsign me. As for me personally it will always be a no. If the person I'm with tries it without my knowledge and I find out.............

      Delete
    2. Just asking everyone, because I would really love to know as I'm faced with making that decision. Getting married to a divorce with kids, would the marriage/family be classified as a Polygamous setting, and is such a union advised?

      Delete
  2. I think the best way to practice Polygamy is for each wife to be in her own space. 2 women can't run a home because we're both different, have individual ideas on how we want things done, so there is bound to be clash.

    I didn't grow up in Polygamy, I enjoyed my nuclear family, though there were tough times (financial difficulty). Truthfully, if my Dad had decided to marry a 2nd wife, I won't have liked it oo, not sure it would have been managed well, though there were times he wanted to adopt and relatives from both sides stayed with us. What matters is compassion eventhough their behavior was different from ours.

    My mum grew up in one of the best Polygamy settings I have seen. Though Grandpa was rich, so none of the wives stayed together. Up till now I can't tell which step- grandma gave birth to which uncle or aunt. I don't even want to find out anymore, the children are so united, no one comes between them. Though, that was olden days.

    My mum has not told me yet of the negatives, I will take time out to ask her.

    For me, personally I am not opposed to Polygamy, I have a strong feeling it's going to come back. I have my own terms for it's practice though, and acceptance from the first wife is a MUST to proceed.

    To each his own ✌️

    ReplyDelete
  3. Ours was relatively peaceful because my dad built houses in two separate places for each wife, we didn't live in the same compound. Dad had no house of his own, he rotated among the two. When he became old and tired he stayed at the second wife's house till he died. My mom was abroad with our elder sis who gave birth, she didn't attend his funeral. We are 5 girls, second wife has 3 boys. The first son wanted to stretch his scrawny hands towards our own house to possess it it saying we were girls and should move out. One week in the bowels of panti reset his watery brains. Now 3 of them are dragging the 2bedroom flat with their mom. I am the last child and married too, my mom has mandated that we sell the house when she joins her ancestors. No gain in polygamy, my mom worked, cajoled, played smart so our dad could atleast train us. It was a war coz the second wife was bent on making him focus on her son's. She said having a female kid is like having no kid. I never forgot that statement. Even if she begs for water, we will not give her.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Please anon, the word peaceful shouldn’t appear in this ur comment, except if you have been so traumatized that this up there looks like peace to u.

      Delete
    2. Not peaceful. Glad you girls are doing well.

      Delete
  4. Hmm, It's all in the past. It was good at the beginning but at the end it was not so pleasant. Come to think of it, this is an inspiration to write my life's experience as a child who grew up in a polygamous home.

    ReplyDelete
  5. No experience of this, not interested in it. Even polyandry does not interest me. I am wired for monagamy. The depth of connection I desire on a spiritual level with a spouse requires monagamy. Even my name is heavy romantically.

    All the best to those presently in, or entering polygamous unions.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I didn’t grow up in a polygamous home but I honestly don’t think there’s any good side to it abeg. Except for the men’s perceived enjoyment. Never heard of a peaceful polygamous house.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nowadays it is due to the greed and Covetousness of men , wanting to eat their cake and have it

      Delete
  7. It favors some but others find it hard.
    Some people need to go to my uncle for practical lessons cos people still wonder how he got it right. He married 4 beautiful wives and they all live peacefully together. They are all old tho.
    He's dead now and they are still living peacefully. The 2nd wife have no children and she's very weak and frail now. The first daughter of the first wife took her in and is taking really good care of her cos she has a big house and a lot of helps.
    They all visit each others children. Some said the man used jazz but it should have died with him over 10 years ago but they are still here. The children and grand children doesn't know disunity whenever they come back home.
    I pray this kind of love in any polygamous home. Well, no man should bring polygamy near me or I go comot the man teeth. I dey quick vex.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The children and grand children DON’T know disunity whenever they come back home.

      Delete
    2. When a heart is mature, open to life, understands nothing is permanent in life but the happiness and happy vibes u give out, this ๐Ÿ‘†becomes possible.
      The pple in Monogram aren't having the Best of the best either.
      Simply live happy, stay far away from conflict, schemes and dirty family politics and all will pan out well.

      Delete
    3. 18:20, well said. The w@r in some monogamous homes shames the proverbial challenges in polygamous homes.

      Truth is not everybody should marry; not every man has the wisdom to marry more than one wife; and not every woman can be married in a polygamous setting. Each person should know his/her limit and stay within its bounds

      Delete
  8. There was/still so much distrust. We were denied the basic needs of life and we had to suffer.
    They never helped us even when we needed it.
    They punished us because our Dad married our jump ship never had any say in the whole matter because she was shi

    ReplyDelete
  9. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  10. I keep saying it polygamy is the best practice in Africa. It will solve the problem of single mothers, singles going to Shiloh to look for husbands and women who need a good husband will have somebody to call their partner. Polygamy is the best when the husband is rich with the wife's separate houses. Look at how peaceful Ned Nwoko and Rasaq Okoya's house is. Although am a Christian and I won't be able to practice polygamy because of my religious beliefs. I wish Christians can adopt polygamy. I can't practice it because I grew up in a monogamous setting and my parent won't like it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So you like polygamy but your religious belief is why you don't like it๐Ÿค”

      Delete
    2. Lol they said give your personal experience
      How many women in those homes you mentioned have told you they are having a good marriage
      Women will always pray for husbands and men will always pray for wives. What is wrong with that

      Delete
    3. Na wa! Ned and Okoya are examples of a peaceful polygamous home? Lol. Pushing for polygamy is nothing short of greed and selfishness because the men you will say yes to are married men with money aka "Already made".
      Learn to remove your eyes from another woman's husband. There are single guys asking some of the ladies at Shiloh to marry them but they didn't agree because they are not up to their standard. Some of the men you are eyeing weren't as wealthy or well dressed when they got married.

      Delete
  11. In my primary school, there were some children of a very popular entrepreneur who reigned so much in the late 80s/early 90s. I don't want to mention names cos the relatives might be BVs. I'm the height of his reign, this Edo man married another wife, her daughter was clearly biracial so I don't think the second wife was Nigerian or maybe she was biracial as well.

    The headmistress told my mum that the first wife and mother of the older children cursed the man as she was the one that hustled with him when he had nothing. I'm sad to say that the curse worked, his brand and products faded out with time, last I passed by his factory, it has been turned into a school, it wasn't even an standard school like that.

    We don't have control over a lot of things in this life but avoid ingratitude and betrayal, hurting those who stood by you in your dark season hardly ever ends well. The principles of life don't change, no matter how woke we become. If the first wife is okay with and accepts polygamy, then that's a different conversation.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na kessington you Dey talk about oo. His son ( from 1st wife ) is my very good friend. U try small for the story, but didn’t say the nitty gritty. Story deep wella.

      Delete
    2. The man hurt her. She cursed him. The curse work. Her children join suffer for the curse. We move

      Delete
  12. There is no gain in polygamy, three of my uncles went that route, there is no love lost between the wives and the kids are like total strangers, they don't fight fight, just ignore each other and pretend they don't exist.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @17:09,
      This happens even in monogamous marriage/family.

      Yes, polygamy has its challenges. Monogamy also has its fair share and not necessarily lesser. I experienced the first as a child. I am experiencing the second as a husband.

      I have brothers of the same mother who you will not believe are my brothers if you were not told and when told, you will find it hard to believe. My in-laws (men) behave that way too though sons of a monogamous marriage.

      The success of polygamy depends on the man and the wives. When they behave, the children behave. A first wife may accept polygamy. But the second who may have enticed the man to marry her despite knowing he is married may be a thorn. In some cases, a second wife and the husband may be fair, but the first wife may be the thorn even though she knew from the beginning that her marriage was potentially polygamous.

      I know a polygamous family where the first wife married the man as her third husband. But never allowed any other wife to have peace till she died and sowed that same seed into the hearts of her children. So despite the comparative wealth in the family, crabology was the main practice amongst the children, especially by the older children against the younger children. As a result, a child in the family prospered or succeeded easier when away from home ground or not dependent on the father for financial assistance.

      I also know a family where all children eat from the same pot/plate of food rotationally prepared by the different wives/mothers. Further, no neigbour dared a fight with any child of the family. All children of different mothers ganged together for the fight. That family was feared and dreaded in their neighbourhood then.

      The world is big and provides enough for everybody's needs, but can sustain one person's greed.

      Greedy and wicked people - man or woman - should stay off polygamy.

      Delete
  13. I don't think there is anything good about a polygamous house, well let me read comments....

    ReplyDelete
  14. I grew up in a polygamous home. My experience is very scary. Dad married a second wife when I was 5 and first daughter. He and his second wife ganged up against us. I started taking care of myself and siblings at age 14. I hawked everything. Got married and had delay in child bearing, hubby went and impregnated another woman. The day I heard of the lady was the day I packed out the house and out of his life. All efforts to have me back was abortive because the thought of what I went through in my father's house scares me to death. I don't want that rivery. Never. still here, above 40. No husband, no child. But very positive that all will be well

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Stay strong and keep being positive, God will surely put come through for you

      Delete
    2. You made the best decision. God will bless you and keep you happy

      Delete
    3. I pray for you today that the Lord Almighty will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory. He will give you joy & you will testify of His love & goodness towards you in Jesus name. Amen

      Delete
  15. Muslims are good at polygamy than others because they prepared for it from their puberty stage ,more or less if you are rich it is also good only the poor will have problem of scarcity of resources is the problem.Am from a polygamous home and no regret but praises for my parents and my mother was the first wife ,even though they are late now

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. If they are so good at polygamy, why do we requested stories of the first wife either poisoning the second wife or killing the kids and vice versa?? They are united in public but trust me..all is not well.

      Delete
  16. Well,I wouldn't know if to call it a polygamous house.
    My mum,legally wedded, left the house when the strange woman came. Dad married her in a Church even whilst legally married to mum

    She brought her kids from her previous marriage to our house. The house chores I didn't do before, I did,washed her cloths,pounded yam,tedious chores I wasn't doing when mum was around I did,like going to the farm,when my mum was around I never stepped our farm then. The experience then was baaad

    Gained admission to the Uni,stayed in the campus,but spent holidays with my mum or our family friend's house.

    Like that till I graduated, was doing NYSC when my dad called to tell me that they were having issues so they had divorced,haaaa,I was shocked.

    Heard she later passed on years later

    My parents are still legally married but separated
    Maybe one day,one day they might reconcile after all,what God cannot do does not exist.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Polygamy or not women have being at war since forever. Women married into the same now fight like co wives disunited cousins.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Polygamy is good only if the man is rich and can keep the women in separate apartments. But staying together will be fights and juju.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Polygamy isn't good at all at all. Whether they stay apart or not the husband won't act justly amongst them. So much hatred, envy, pretence. Abeg not good.

      I don't want to mention names. The young igbo woman that married a billionaire Igbo sir as wife 4. Her step kids don't like her.

      Delete
  19. I am from a monogamous family but I have a family friend that the husband married a 2nd wife and the experience was terrible. It affected the 1st wife ( our family friend and her children) badly. They said the 2nd wife was the 1st wife's house help. I wish I can narrate everything till when the ist wife died last year. I don't even wish my enemy polygamy

    ReplyDelete
  20. I bet you that if Oyibo people turn and say that polygamy is the best. Black people will jump and shout hurrayyyy! All opinions expressed by Africans on anything is never original. They go with the flow. 20 years ago Africans frowned at homosexuality. Oyibo told them it is ok. Today Africans are singing kumbaya on homosexuality. Oyibo leads. Africans follow

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Senseless comment.

      Delete
    2. Super senseless

      Delete
    3. I'm Totally senseless?

      Is it not now more acceptable to be a baby mama and baby daddy following American pop culture?

      Delete

Disclaimer: Comments And Opinions On Any Part Of This Website Are Opinions Of The Blog Commenters Or Anonymous Persons And They Do Not Represent The Opinion Of StellaDimokoKorkus.com

Pictures and culled stories posted on this site are given credit and if a story is yours but credited to the wrong source,Please contact Stelladimokokorkus.com and corrections will be made..

If you have a complaint or a story,Please Contact StellaDimokoKorkus.com Via

Sdimokokorkus@gmail.com
Mobile Phone +4915210724141