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Thursday, March 23, 2023

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmm....


STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
BROKEN RELATIONSHIP


Good Day Stella

My relationship of three years ended yesterday (or maybe earlier).

Everything started falling apart last month. He used to be down financially after going through a rough phase and I was there all through assisting in every way possible. Gave him money and also took up providing food in the house for us.

His rent was about to expire, he moved to a friend’s place and I moved back to my place (Me being at his place was his idea because whenever I go home, he’d always beg me to come back).

(1.) He went home and was unhappy I left his house with all my belongings (clothes and shoes) but we resolved things.
He started picking up financially, paid me money I lent him and also sent me money randomly.

2.) He invited me to his friend’s place but I didn’t go because he was at his friend’s place, he complained we didn’t spend Val together and I don’t also want to spend the election break with him. We still resolved and continued the relationship.

3.) I posted a beach throwback on my status and few days later after that, I called him and he complained I came to the island without informing him and that I was probably with a man, I wanted to tell him it wasn’t recent but he just said, “no..don’t bother explaining. I don’t care”

The next time I called, he still brought it up, I tried to talk and he said he doesn’t care and that he would call me back. He didn’t call back and ghosted me for 1 week.

I reached out to him telling him it’s better he ended things instead of ghosting me and he called and told me I was giving him negative energy and that he’s focused on making money and doesn’t have time, that he was always doing the calling and that it’s fine if i wanted us to end things. 

I apologized for everything because I honestly didn’t know I was giving him such vibes. We reconciled or so I thought.
But I started doing the calling and texting for 3 days. He never called or texted me.

Yesterday, I called him while talking, I asked if he was still staying with his friend and he said no, he rented a place. He rented a place but the previous day, he told me he was going to see an agent. I asked when he rented and he said he doesn’t want to talk about it and that we should change the conversation.

 I had nothing else to say..he said alright, “we’ll talk later” and I went “Please don’t call me, just go” and I hung up.

I just need to know if I did anything wrong because I really do not know. Things are working really well for him now and he probably doesn’t need me anymore.
Please, I need advise on what to do and how to get out of this terrible state. Thank you


I was upset and irritated reading this...Is there no WhatsApp for you to defend yourself? if he didnt let you talk then you send message that what you posted was an old photo...You gave him the impression you didn't need him anymore and let him think you were dating someone else.. You didn't defend yourself so he got jealous.....
He may not believe you now cos you let too much time pass..... You didn't want to be with him on Valentines day so what did you expect him to believe or think?
your excuse of not wanting to be with does not make sense at all and i don't believe you so imagine ow he must feel....
You can still try to reach out to him and explain that its not what he thinks..
I may be wrong!

63 comments:

  1. He's possibly not into you anymore and it be nice you let him be
    It must not be him and i am pretty sure that you can always get someone else
    The compatibility isn't really there honestly

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dear poster, I don't really see any horrible thing you did jor. What I see according to what you wrote, is that your guy doesn't want you anymore and has moved on. You gatz move on too. But this is heartbreak so you will definitely feel bad.πŸ’” Try to pick the lessons and know that if he wasn't meant for you, then you both are better off without each other. All the best.

      Delete
    2. I agree with Stella's red pen. Poster, you actually gave him negative vibes, and I'm pretty sure it's cos he was broke at the time. So you probably felt irritated by him and didn't want to spend time with him. You're only feeling bad now bcos he seems to be back on his feet. Please move on. You don't really love this guy. I don't even think you should reach out to him to explain things. You didn't put enough effort to explain things to him when you needed to, so just move on quietly

      Delete
    3. Poster after a day or two send a message that the beach throwback picture was so and so day (put date picture was taken)

      Your man sounds like he has anxious attachment style, you fed it by being nonchalant

      Delete
  2. To add to what Stella wrote,u didn't go to see him all through his staying at his friends house..u act like u don't care about him..
    Who won't want to spend val with their man?
    It's not all about the money, show some care, likeness, jealousy, interest in someone u love..
    If u still love him go after him with full speed.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Exactly
      You sound off and emotionless
      Your own man was asking about spending a whole “lovers day” together and you sounded lackadaisical about it.

      Even if you dint want to be in his friends place, at least go over then suggest going over to yours or a hotel… the whole election break too, you were all by yourself? Even if I was in his shoes I’ll feel I was forcing myself on you.

      I feel you are not very expressive for someone who has been in a 3year relationship. You posted a “throw back” without captioning it, what did you expect him to think? You knew what you were doing, you wanted to either give your friends an impression you were having a romantic time or you wanted to make him feel like you dint care.
      Now you got into trouble for it, instead of explaining yourself over a heartfelt explanatory message … you moved on.

      Now you used your own mouth to tell him not to call you again, and you are here asking questions.
      When I have an argument with my spouse and it’s not reaching any resolution, we agree on speaking later.
      Then I send him a message, explaining my point, he does same, with an understanding of his own point while buttressing mine. That way we both feel heard.

      If you want him back, start by apologizing for cutting him off with the statement you made, then explain all you have told us here. Simple.
      This life no supposed hard like this


      Push up (original)

      Delete
  3. You didn't spend val together, no reason. Election break, no reason. Finally you said don't call me, just go. Whatchu want him to do? Beg? Girl, have a nice day, bye.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This Val thing it looks like his complaint was after the vals day
      If he wanted to spend vals with her, he would have asked before the day. Not wait for the day to pass and then complain
      In my experience when a guy is doing that, it’s over and he just wants to fault you and make you the reason for the break up

      Who rents a house and says he won’t talk about it

      Delete
    2. I don't know you, you don't know me, but I will find you and break your bedπŸ˜ŒπŸ’Ÿ

      Delete
    3. What do you mean by he is supposed to ask her?
      They have been dating for 3years, who else did she expect to be his Val’s?
      He asked her to come over, she no gree, make he force her?


      Push up (original)

      Delete
    4. Dante, don't break her bed alone. Biko do the needfulπŸ˜€

      Delete
    5. Maybe I will supply a basket of tomatoes for d occasion.

      Delete
  4. Poster does not want to miss out since he is doing well now 😏
    I don’t think he left cos he is doing well now, like he said you gave him suspicious vibes and acted like you didn’t want him too close. That alone can put one off especially as he was experiencing financial difficulties.
    Learn to persevere and be understanding.
    Like you said, you guys were living together until his rent expired and he had to leave.
    When he asked about the beach picture on your status, you should have explained to him that it was an old picture, why did you leave room for doubt?
    If you still love him, call him up and meet. Tell him how you feel, things he did that upset you. Tell him you still love and want to be with him. Fro what you wrote, he appears to be cool and also a very jealous person.
    You’ve been together for 3 years so you know how to get through to him.

    Sluttychic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. SC ooo, we always dey think almost the same thing. Why sef😏

      Delete
    2. You have said it all. Communication!! communication!!

      Delete
    3. That’s cos you are my blog blood Fidel.

      Sluttychic.

      Delete
  5. You treated him badly girl! You are the problem! Aunty Stella has said it all. Go apologize if you still want him back. I would have done worst if I were in his short.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Poster you can cohabit with a man
    But can’t visit him in his friends place.
    The relationship Don tire two of you.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Hmmm abeg. All this one sided stories. Na quarrel una dey.
    You sef, you won't explain yourself to him well, and you are quick to throw tantrums. Call and textsπŸ™„
    You managed to call for just 3days and you're tired. Do you see how it is now? Why did you allow him to be doing all the calling before? Relationship should be very mutual. You have to be intentional. Both of you call each other, both of you buy gifts for each other, both of you initiate intimacies... Everything, as he's doing, you're doing too.
    And maybe stop cohabitation too. See finish will enter.

    Now, wait small and try explaining yourself better. Sha don't grovel and beg anyhow 😏

    ReplyDelete
  8. Most guys are not wired to receive help. They see it as a dent on them, something that is abnormal so its hard for them to marry a lady who helped them when they were down or continue in a marriage with one who was there for them when they were down. Only God fearing, smart and intelligent ones know what it takes to have such a woman in their corner.

    You dont need a new woman if you have been through such a phase, what you need is spoil the one that was with you silly and reset your relationship by making new and beautiful memories that will erase that situation while giving you the confidence that you can conquer whatever with her in your corner. Poster I dont know the kind of Man your boyfriend is, you need to go and see him face to face.

    Pictures have timestamps look at the details of the picture you will see daymonthyear, they are written together as numbers, show him that and clear your name cos it looks like he is just fishing for an excuse to break up with you. Better now than later so you can have time to heal and find love.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Your first paragraph is spot on 15:33. I definitely can attest to it. Poster like I said before, for your peace of mind move on. If he takes you back now he will show you shege, then still dump you. You sha can try ya luck.

      Delete
    2. This is not about the money
      He had started giving her money back
      She sounds like she fell out of love with him cus she had been providing, so she felt like she was the one doing him a favor and felt he should chase and beg after her even after making him unwanted.

      Let me tell you people something, men hate feeling unwanted, or like they are forcing themselves on you, who doesn’t spend Val’s with their bf?
      Poster hasn’t told us the whole truth. Now she’s scared she may actually lose him, she’s asking questions… imagine complaining just after 3days of being the one to call.

      Ara agbala single lady

      Delete
  9. Poster this your explanation no too follow. A man struggling to come back financially is extremely sensitive during that period. You kinda magnified his doubts by not showing up for vals, him doing all the calling and messaging, giving excuses not to meet. that he is in his friends place does not mean he cannot have visitor of his. Haba you must not sleep over, you can meet him and go out to hangout but you did none of that.

    You fueled it indirectly. Try to meet him in person not to sex o but have a heart to heart talk too.

    All the best

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dear Poster,give him space,infact give him the whole runway to fly and land as he wishes,he is just manipulating you emotionally,when he was broke and you missed valentine with him did he trow tantrums? Now he has seen two coins to rub together to call money,he is forming busy man gang,press mute button,ignore him and watch,the money dey shack am

    ReplyDelete
  11. I usually do not understand all these telemundo kind of I tried to explain he said he didn't want to hear. Does that mean there was no other opportunity or means of giving that explanation? That's not the issue sef. At some point, your relationship began to have communication gap between you not knowing he was planning to and had even rented an apartment says a lot. Maybe you guys should try talk things out and even if you're breaking up, do it peacefully

    ReplyDelete
  12. He accused you of infidelity and said you shouldn't bother to explain and you didn't bother to explain. If he shut you up when you tried to explain, shouldn't you have insisted to be heard? Shouldn't you have sent a text explaining that the photo is an old one? Both of you are tired of the relationship.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I’m not explaining myself to anyone accusing me of infidelity
      What decent guy won’t be pissed off by that

      Delete
  13. Poster, Abeg forget his guy. You did nothing wrong.
    He used style to break up with you.
    Please move on.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Only you really understand the situation in all the comments I have seen so far making her feel like she is the problem! mean while the guy is the problem. See girl this his new attitude is on purpose believe me or not he is done with you and if you try to reconcile with him, he will pretend to accept but bet me he will only get worse again and dump you. Most men change once money starts coming in and note they always have a girl on stand by to spend on immediately they get small money, they forget all the present girl have done and pick offense in all she does, you are not the problem it’s only an easy way out for them to frustrate you out of the relationship

      Delete
    2. Eggzactly.

      Delete
    3. If a man doesn't want you anymore, they move a certain way. This man is one of such men. Anon young nailed it. Poster, keep it moving!

      Delete
    4. @ Anon 15.45, you saved me from typing a whole bunch of stuff...Poster abeg move on from that guy. He has showed you himself, Believe him ok?/ Forget all these Judgina's on here advising nonsense including STELLA... Don"t beg no more... Just move on!!!! I am talking from experience....I bet you in a few months you will hear he is getting married.......Just walk away now... Moving forward once you see signs like this just bounce ........ When a man starts suspecting his woman that means trust is broken ...He is just looking for a way to discard you.

      Delete
  14. This na old format na . E don tey. Dem still dey use am? Na wa o.
    Dem don set trap neatly na you fall inside.
    Just move on.

    ReplyDelete
  15. That not being available for Valentine is a serious red flag o.

    I remember a former boyfriend, we lived in different cities, both undergrads. On our first val, he told me he had a test or something. That his lecturer did not want them wallow away Feb 14. I believed him.

    Only for a good friend of mine, who knew we were dating to see him hurrying out of school that day, and joked with him that he is meeting up with his Val, and he said yes. Another friend who lives in his compound confirmed this when I tried to find out more info. He has a girlfriend too in his school.

    Why would you not want to spend time on Valentine’s Day with you better half? If you don’t want to do the do, at least go out somewhere or give the person a gift, in person.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't mind her. That was how I tried to call my so-called girlfriend on Valentines Day, she switched her mobile off for 2 days. Her explanation now is that her grandfather was sick. Don't know what her grandfather's sickness got to do with her mobile phone and availability. How could you be unfaithful to someone who provides everything for you? I will be playing a fool until I come back to Naija in few months, f**k and dump her.

      Delete
    2. Who your fuck help? She's going to enjoy it and move on to someone far better than you,that's if she doesn't have him in her corner already.. you can't make a lady feel bad because you had sex with her lol those days are gone 😁😁😁

      Delete
    3. Who your fuck help? Those are days are gone when men sex shame women... she go follow you enjoy the sex and still dump you for a better catch that's if she doesn't have one already lol..Stella stop holding back my comment

      Delete
  16. Communication is key to a successful relationship.reach out to him to sort out issues then you know what step to take after this.goodluck.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Poster your relationship ended the moment you refused to be with him on the most important and official day lovers celebrate their love,, and your excuse was so flimsy.
    You also made the mistake of throwing a happy picture that sent a wrong signals to him.
    I mean there is no where i can't be with my man if i love him,,so check yourself very well, you probably don't even love him again.
    Keep calling and use WhatsApp too to see if things can be fixed but if not, just let it go and don't force yourself on him.
    Good luck!

    ReplyDelete
  18. lol. You both are tired of the relationship.

    ReplyDelete
  19. I was angry reading this as well! You gave him all negative vibes like he was a failure and you needed space, now that he found his bearing, you wanted to come back! Babe, oya s'ope otilo> You didn't do well during his trying moments, you felt too proud to visit him at his friend's place because you had your mind somewhere else.He already moved on, if you begged and he accepted, it'll be temporary bcos if he's considering something serious with you, his friends that helped him get back to his feet might not see you worthy of him now. My opinion though

    ReplyDelete
  20. It is perfectly normal not to want to be romancing a man under his friend's roof to avoid see-finish and to maintain your self-respect - I do not fault you one bit. A poster above has said it all about a woman who has been with your from struggle days - men don't know how to handle it and such women expect to be treasured. You have done no wrong except being a little too quiet with your expectations of this man. You expect the love and adoration to be there based on your history and how you have shown your love in action during the struggle days. The man expects to be catered to and revered now based on 'small change' in his hands now. There isn't anything wrong with both expectations; unspoken expectation is the premediated resentment. In every relation there will be a flower and there will be a Gardner. You were once the Gardner and you expect it should now be your turn to be the rose. Again, unspoken expectation leads to resentment eventually so therefore, pls find time to see him in person or send whatsaap messages and have a frank conversation with him - express both of your expectations for the new dynamics and decide if it is workable and if you want to continue or not. Whichever way, you will have closure ....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Guy don japa already. He no even want make she know him place. Sorry poster. Don't let them use ooo. You sef japa ya own.

      Delete
  21. He sound like someone going through some kind of depression or mental health problem

    ReplyDelete
  22. Suddenly he is finding fault in everything you do. He is tired. Let him have the space he needs. The more you press forward, the more you hit roadblocks. Who rents a house without telling a woman who has been there for him. How does he expect you to spend holidays and Val with him in his friends house. He will come back if he is meant for you. LET HIM GO

    ReplyDelete
  23. Lol...

    Baba don get funds, she Don dey run come back,. After the whole I don't care and don't owe you any explanation attitude because bobo dey go through life phase..
    Normal levels..

    White Money only repeated what I have been preaching to Kings here for long,. When you see them rushing to attack me na because they're scared I'm bursting codes..
    I be Gee.. big OG precisely,. I dey see things steady.. yea, I'm broke 😁.. but I dey see wetin money dey do on a daily, and I'll tell you this fam, here in Nigeria, them girls understanding of relationship is only about your cash, even if you marry am, she belongs to others whenever you are broke (trust me on this, you know say I no dey talk wetin I no know πŸ˜‰)..

    Very few exceptions exist (they'll start deceiving themselves that they're the exception now😁😁)..

    So kings,. Stay woke,. Ball hard and stop making unnecessary committments to people you're paying.. don't play yourselves bro✌️

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na who get funds dem dey explain for😁

      When Baba no get money, she no send, money show naw, she won dey explain..

      The truth is that it's the money she respect, it's the money she wants to explain to, not the mab

      Yeye chronicle Lol

      Delete
  24. I see a very selfish and insensitive girlfriend. From your write up, you know he likes you but when he fell on hard times u couldn’t visit instead posting enjoyment pictures. You are so immature because the way u blot out things like do me, I do u. You should go and mend your relationship with all humility. Good men are not lying on the streets.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So she shouldn't have posted on her status because she has a struggling boyfriend at that time...make una dey play oo... o yes girlfriends over to una

      Delete
    2. 18::37
      Status post is not a must.

      A beach flexing post when a boyfriend and girlfriend are going through a rough patch is a no no. This is because in our side of the world, single women and men rarely go to the beach alone. Hence the man believed she has moved on.

      Lesson: No need to pepper any spouse or friend if you are not ready for any how the person will take your actions.

      Delete
    3. Did you even read what she wrote at all??

      Delete
  25. You do not need to explain anything, okay?
    Find a way to move on, please.
    Why does he want you to grovel? Did he expect you to frequent his friend's place?
    I don't see what you did wrong that couldn't be communicated to you . So, maybe he's bored, maybe he's busy, maybe he's onto new things. Whatever it is, disturbing him will solve nothing.
    I like that you do not want to be a pest,
    Please, do not regret being there for him at the time that was necessary, that phase is over, pick the lessons and move on.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Never avenge by pepper dem in a relationship.

    Not true men leave women when the men make money. Except where the woman have the spirit of na me make you or dey feed you. Even women hate to hear that or feel it from a fully providing man

    I work from home. I provide all our needs. I do not collect a penny from my wife. But I sense it that it would have been better if I work from an office. Just a little restrains my wife from telling me to minister to her after returning from work. Meanwhile she keeps all salary paid to her. What would have been if I depend on her. I fear to think of it.

    From when the man started returning her money, Poster should have known what's up. Men do not return money. Men do bigger than money collected. Any boyfriend who returns money to his girlfriend is gone in his heart or definitely do not want to be obligated because of money only

    ReplyDelete
  27. At least he was man enough to pay you all the money he owed you plus jara!!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Small pikins still dey una body.

    Pray and fast

    ReplyDelete
  29. He stylishly discharged you.

    When a man want you, he will climb ten rivers to get you.

    Give him space and start dating again.

    KING XOXO MYSTERY

    ReplyDelete
  30. Poster you did some terrible things to your guy, when he started staying with his friend it is expected that you visit him there but not to spend a night. You can go in the morning and by evening you leave to your place.

    Your guy felt that cos he doesn't have his own apartment, that was why you refused to come visit him. You did explain things to him that you are not comfortable visiting him at his friend place that was why you couldn't visit him but rather you kept mute and didn't call him.

    Val day you refused to spend it with him, election break you still didn't go to make it up, you are here asking questions. I ask you if he was the one who refused to see you on val day and during election break, would you be happy?

    There is a saying that whoever you spend your val with is the main person whole whoever you spend the day after val is the side person. You have him the impression that you have replaced him or you have a val better than him. You couldn't even request to come see him at his friend place to explain your reasons why you are drifting away from him, you kept on saying call call but he didn't want to listen. Don't you know that certain discussions are done face to face. If your guy refused to listen to your explanation on phone, drop him a WhatsApp message or email him. Look for his address and pay him a surprise visit, Oga has no choice than to listen to you and from their you both will sort things out.

    To me he felt you are done with him, you needed time off. Never you tell someone you still want not to call you again or threaten them with your relationship. You should search for him to explain yourself and see if he will still give you another chance. Delay may be dangerous but in all you do please do not go and use sex to get him back. Wishing you all the very best.

    ReplyDelete

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