Stella Dimoko Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative


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Thursday, September 28, 2023

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative



There is an issue bothering me.
An old school mate (female) who was my love interest suddenly buzzed me on WhatsApp, recently.
Actually she was the only lady I truly ever loved before I met my wife; but nothing romantic happened betwen us, because we were just preteens back then. There was a brief period of friendship between us a decade ago when I told her she was supposed to be my wife (She was married at the time). We laughed over it...then I left the country for a while.

We reconnected a few weeks back and started chatting about old school mates with whom she recently reconnected.
Over a period of two weeks, we shared WhatsApp Status which she tactfully used to update me about happenings in her life. On my part. I posted some updates too.
Now, the big issue is that my wife is not happy; In fact, she has grown cold on me.
My children asked her who the woman is and she replied, "she is the one your father wanted to marry."

Many years ago before we (wife and I) started courting, we were just platonic/family friends. Didn't have any inkling that she would end up as my wife. It was then I sowed the seed that germinated and now giving me serious concern.

I shared with my friend (now wife) about Anita (my love interest) who was my dream woman. I told her how both of us shared same dreams and worldview. So my friend then (now wife) got to know about Anita even before we dated.

A few months after we started courting, my friend who dubbed as a senior brother to Anita (my love interest) relocated to Nigeria and became friends with my fiancee (now wife). They were very close until I left the country briefly to sort out some issues.

The brother to Anita is not in Nigeria at the moment but we are still in touch. My wife asked me, "how would you feel if I start talking to Tony or James?" Tony was her toaster; but she dated James for a brief period. I could not answer. She said. "so Franco is now the link between you and Anita?" Franco is the nickname my children gave to my friend. His sister was never in the picture until recently.

I left out some details about Anita because we parted ways some years ago due to a misunderstanding. I was hurt in the process before we parted ways until recently. I have tried but unsuccessfully to shrug off the old feelings, so I decided to leave Whatsapp for a while. I cannot block her!

How do I maintain friendship with a woman whom I was, and perhaps still, interested in?

It is a matter of time before we reconnect physically because her brother (DDT) is the only friend I am still in touch with - he will be in Nigeria before the year runs out. I don't know anything about her current love life, but she is aware of my feelings.
She never hinted of having feelings for me. I am the one battling with feelings in my heart.
I do not want to ignore or ghost Anita. What reasons would I give her?
Please what do you suggest?

*You can control yourself if you want to..
Dont be stupid and let this silly feelings break up your home.....Try to friendzone her and dont let the gists with her get out of hand..
You dont need to run away from Whatsapp because of this... get back there and behave yourself please.....


  1. Your wife asked you,a simple question,you could not answer. How will you feel,If she becomes so friendly with her ex or toaster? Therein lies,your answers. πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

    1. PLEASE FOR YOUR SANITY AND YOUR FAMILY SAKE QUICKLY LET GO OF ANITA OH. THE FEELINGS WILL NEVER EVER DIE IN YOU BUT THE ONLY GIFT YOU CAN BOTH GIVE EACH OTHER IS TO STOP ALL FORMS OF COMMUNICATION ASAP. I wrote all this in bold letters. I just walked out of my own situation. The feelings will go with me to my grave same with the person but nne we both are married to good partners. Past is past. Let it be past. Take my advice very seriously. Good luck.

    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    3. A very simple question with a difficult answer.

      Poster, don't give what you can't take.

    4. I have been there!

      If you run from this feeling; you will not heal from it.

      What I did? I faced it boldly! But had a resolve not to compromise my virtues.

      I stopped running away from the chats. We talked about our emotions and all. We laughed; cried, awed and fought.

      At last we both realised we simply missed our old fantasy world that shields us off from the real world. We realised we both don't want to be near each other in our current realities.

      In essence; our current pressures of life is making us seek our nirvana fantasies as escape.

      We both understood and mutually healed and moved on as honestly nothing dey that outside.

      This was what worked for me.

      Our partners never knew and we never had sex physically. I once or twice masturbated with his photo. He confessed he did same with mine too.

      As it is today, I feel nothing for him apart from agape.

      Some may call it emotional cheating; but it healed me from the 6yrs of torture I went through secretly trying to avoid him before confronting it.

      I wish you well

  2. If that lady is divorced, just know that only God can help you with her because she came purposely for you. If a woman is determined to get a man, especially, if she knows the man truly loves her, it will take the grace of God and serious discipline before such man can break from the woman.

    The best thing you can do now is, stop entertaining any friendship or too much chatting with her, better still let your wife come in to help you.

    Talk about your wife to the lady always, let her know she's sitting beside you and she has access to your phone, that can curb the essence from the lady a bit

    *Larry was here*

    1. πŸ‘ It is only his wife that can help him get out of this mess. Poster don't hide anything about this situation from your wife. Let her know what's going on, she will know what to do with every information you update her with. That woman will advise herself to steer clear from you the moment your wife picks up the phone to cancel her.

  3. Oga block than woman or be ready to destroy your marriage. Any move you make now will be scrutinized by your wife cos you’ve given her that spirit of doubt. The lady is no longer married? Lekwa gi lekwa barbwire

    Fan Emmanuel

    1. The part I don't understand is where he mentioned her brother, That you have feeling for Anita what is his brother's business in the story??? Come and explain.

    2. He’s telling you he’ll see her brother and she’ll be theee
      He can’t avoid her cause they are family friends

    3. Poster better face your family to avoid had I known.

  4. I don't know what is your problem if not adultery but why can't you answer your wife question that how will you feel if she starts talking to Tony ?if you are a man pls tell her to start talking to Tony and let us see who will suffer the consequences,women are better in the cheating game than men ;you will cry better borrow yourself brain and cut off all connection with Anita because adultery still dey your eyes ,alakori

  5. Poster please don't start what you can't finish...You are in your nostalgic limbo however you have a wife whom to have vowed to cherish and to hold and lovely children at that...

    You can't be chasing the 10% outside when you already have 90% in your possession and might end up losing it. Her question is valid. How would you feel if your wife is sharing intimate stuff with her Ex? You know that you won't take it so why do it to another person...

    You are enjoying the mushy mushy feelings and want to catch up on Anita's life all these years but really to what end? Please you need to end what you are doing now with Anita and stop allowing yourself to be carried away by wishful thinking..

    I won't be surprised that you have planned in gbenshing her, please dead that idea and don't use your hand to destroy your family and happiness..

    All the best

  6. Ok, I am livid 😑😑

    So you don't want to block her, but you want to make your home bitter and uncomfortable for your wife and children, and in essence yourself?

    Oga, any temptation that involves emotion, the Bible command us to FLEE.
    Oga, you are playing with fire and you will get burnt.

    Politely amd gently stop chats with her. If you must speak with her, let your wife be there, and let her even put mouth small in the conversation. That will help to keep it short and clean.

    Oga, peace in the home front is everything. Guard it jealously.

    1. No he's very silly. A married man is saying he can't block or ignore a past love interest because of his present wife??? Then why are you even married??!! Because of flimsy feelings, you want to make your wife's life hell??? I hope you ruin your marriage.

  7. This man/ boy sounds childish and indiscipline to me.
    I bet you already have your plan/s mapped out. The essence of this chronicle is for formality πŸ˜’

    1. True. He wants to sleep with Anita, which he didn't do then. He does it, his eyes clear and it might been too late then, The effect on his family, he might not control.

    2. He didn't mention divorce or has a choice to take Anita as wife.

  8. Respect yourself, and your wife. Stay away from Anita, because when you guys have sex, you will say "i mistakenly had sex with Anita".

    1. And he will blane the devil forgetting the plotting, scheming and planning.

    2. πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚ How do u mistakenly have sex with someone?

  9. This is why I keep screaming NIGERIANS DON'T KNOW THE VALUE OF THERAPY.
    Please look for a relationship therapist and sort this out before you use your hand to destroys everything. Yes I don't know if Stella will allow me to recommend on her page. But look for a matured relationship therapist not PASTOR oh. Relationship therapist you can open up to without the person condemning you.

    Now run along and solve this issue QUICKLY.

  10. Oga, if you want to cheat, go ahead and cheat and stop disturbing us with needless stupidity. You are married and you owe your spouse fidelity and yet you are here talking about confusion?
    May thunder wire you better 2 by 4 dia and use oraimo cord wipe you join on top.
    You have already made up your mind to cheat. See how you narrated the practical inevitability of it. Are you looking for validation from us?
    Enjoy your cheating. Apologies to your wife. She deserves better.

  11. So u want to use ur own hands to destroy ur home?
    If this Anita was made for u why didn't you marry her? Hmmm
    It will shock that after destroying what u have because of ur misplaced feelings, u will never get it again and even the Anita may not be interested in you.. For a starter, ur wife doesn't trust u again..

  12. It's men like you that I wish end up lonely and alone sitting under mango tree in the village. You know nothing about your ex love life, yet you're battling feelings, she no even send you sef, you no wise at all. I won't pray for your home not to break. BREAK IT NIGGA! iyou wanna eat your cake and have it... Goodluck.

  13. Me I'm just here to read the advice from the same people that didn't see anything wrong and even supported the married female poster that was codely collect big monies from her exπŸ˜πŸ€”

    1. Lmao. Gender solidarity you know wey them take dey deceive themselves.


    2. @Dante,
      If a married Bv could collect money from her Ex with support, Anita wey don leave marriage fit collect money and more.

  14. What's the essence of igniting a fire you don't wish to flame?

  15. You are about to ruin your future and family

  16. This is what happens when you marry someone that’s in love with someone else

  17. This comment has been removed by the author.

  18. You have never mentioned anywhere above that Anita feels same thing you feel for her;and kindly note that you loving someone doesn't mean they are on the same wavelength of love as yourself...

    So what if you scatter your home today and realize you were just an option for her?
    Same way you are seeing your wife now?

    Learn how to balance things in life and always create healthy boundaries with the other gender as friends;never discuss Nuclear family issues or throw your spouse deficiencies to them.

    Na see finish dey do you with your wife now Sha;and the one outside now looks attractive until you live in same house with them..

    You dey eye the one wey dey outside;not knowing someone outside is also eyeing your wife...

    Advice?? Peace is priceless!! So if your wife gives you peace;don't lose that because of "Assumptions" on how life would have been if you married Anita..

    A shattered mirror can never be fixed back intact;and a peaceful home is a love-filled home..

    Don't think solely about yourself but also the kids and family at large;cos once you don gbensh Anita;your hormones will relax and your eye go clear..


    1. Sometimes, I dey wish say you neverarry @Martins

      Your response (s) to chronicles are so apt, mature and adequately said.

      Thanks bro!

  19. What advice are you looking for? You already admitted you still have feelings for her. Isn't that enough reason to avoid her? I don't understand. Your friendship with her is to what end exactly?

    The logical thing you are supposed to do is to keep your distance from her due to the respect you feel for your wife and to uphold the sanctity of your marriage yet you still want to be friends.

    You want to ruin what you have for what would have been. All because of puppy love, which you have no idea how it would have ended if you guys dated in the first place.

    Kindly get your head out of the clouds and respect yourself before turning your world upside down.

    You are telling us you cannot block her. Why can't you block her? She doesn't matter anymore. She is just a memory. Must you be her friend? Do you even love your wife?

    Please grow up and show some discipline.

    Rewrite this chronicle and where you put your name, clean it and put your wife's name and where you put Anita's name clean it and put your wife's ex-boyfriend's name. Read it from start to the end then come back and tell us how it sounds.

    You cannot block Anita, then what exactly do you want to do?
    To commit adultery with her?
    To divorce your wife and marry her if you find out she is single?
    Or marry her as a second wife? What is your motive, Mr!

  20. I for no open this post oo. What rubb@sh is this one yarning? Mtcheew!
    Ensure you divorce your wife before gbenshing Anita. At least be a responsible young man. Oponu!

    1. Don't mind the confused man. He didn't say whether he wants to take Anita as second wife or not. He is married, Anita was Cheating and showing it Infront of your wife is highest disrespect..

  21. Always ask yourself if a situation is from God or from the devil. You should not be rekindling any friendship with a woman you had strong emotions for. Let sleeping dogs lie.

    Nobody wants to be reminded that they were second choice in their spouse’s life. And any spouse would have feelings of insecurity if the first love of their spouse suddenly showed up.

    You mentioned that she updated you on her life, you never mentioned if she was divorced or still married. Is she divorced and that is why she has sought you out?

    If the devil is knocking on your door you better keep it closed!

  22. Poster let me ask you a simple question. Are you willing too sacrifice your family for a woman who clearly sees you as nothing but a means to an end. You are not thinking rationally at the moment, what is it with men and the "one that got away". You sound like a boy with the trauma of unrequited love. You have to grow up to avoid destroying the lives of the family you have now. you have a peaceful home why destroy it.

    Even people in love end up divorcing each other cos at the end of the day love alone is not enough to hold a union together other factors play a role too. You are not missing out. Get a PI to get info about her and how she has lived her life all this while and I promise you your eyes will likely clear. Sometimes we fall in love with the idea of who a person is and not really the person.

  23. Some men would lose what they have for just a few months of pleasure. You have a family so what are you looking for in your ex? So you intend gambling your family for an outsider? You would prefer your kids grow up in a broken home due to your selfish desires and urge? Have you given a thought to your kids and wife at all? Abeg, let me not vex this hot afternoon

  24. From your Narrative you are obviously a disaster waiting to happen, infact you have cheated already...what you are doing is trying to give us excuse to cheat.

  25. Poster simply say you are looking for an excuse to start cheating. You are married so why all these rants ? You want us to tell you to sign for adultery,abi?? Mr. man, face your wife.

  26. You are acting selfishly.

    A guy loved me, but I rejected him, but he was my good friend, so I cared deeply about him and I was attracted to him. We even used to get intimate when he was still single.

    when he married he started avoiding me. I innocently invited him to my house and he turned down my invitation several times, at the time, I didn't understand why. The day he mistakenly visited me, boundaries that should have been respected were crossed. Since that day, he has never ever visited again and I have never invited him.

    Another male friend married and stopped calling me totally. This was someone that used to speak with me daily.

    If you love something/someone, you protect it. If you love your wife and your home, protect her and your home. You have survived years without this old flame, why do you now think you cannot live without her and cannot block her?

    If you indulge this temptation, it will engulf you, it will burn you. Respect your wife and your union, let Anita go!!!!!

    1. You INNOCENTLY invited a married man to your house not once but several times, you didn’t give up till he eventually succumbed and came to your house and defiled his wedding vows. Be there deceiving your self. Innocent Idibia

    2. You innocently???


    3. Anon 18:26 See as you throw stray bullet hit 2face πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

      16:28 Innocently invited a married man?? How? Why?? Where?? Not even a restaurant but to your house, severally πŸ˜‘πŸ˜‘πŸ˜‘...

      If to say ashewo dey the man eye now, you for become legit side chick. Someone you rejected ohhh πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ˜’πŸ˜’Better ask God for forgiveness.

  27. If you like use your hand destroy your marriage. Trouble dey him own u re waking it *Side eyes*

  28. Flee from all appearances of evil. The devil is lurking around your home and the moment the edge is broken, the serpent will strike.

    Leave Anita alone!

  29. You can block her but u can work hard to blocking your wife's marital bliss...well done sir...president of Okafor law in waiting ✋πŸ˜‰

  30. For the sake of those innocent kids of yours, pls leave Anita before the devil uses this situation to complicate and destroy your content with the woman you married.

  31. You can’t block her because na she carry the oxygen tank wey you dey breathe from?

    Na Ahewo Dey your eyes no Dey disguise.
    There’s absolutely nothing confusing in your chronicles. When you make the huge commitment of marriage to someone you intentionally set healthy boundaries with the opposite sex most especially previous love interests.
    You are currently being very disrespectful to your wife. You are lucky she’s calm. I for don change am for the two of you.

    1. He can’t block her because she hasn’t done anything to him
      It will just lead to more questions and he doesn’t want to look stoopid
      If my married friend blocks me for mo reason, ain’t that a bit weird

  32. By the time you destroyed your home because of an old flame. We will be here waiting for your chronicles.

  33. Fan I am happy to see your comments cos I wanted to ask after you & Eka & Sphiere cos you have not been commenting.
    This one na Yul brother when e scatter his home he will start looking for who to blackmail & blame
    The Most complex

  34. Oga dey abroad. Na only few people be exchange rate mate for Nigeria now. What if Anita is seeing Oga as Fx only?

    Anita is no longer married. Oga, why not look am and ask yoursef say why Anita is looking for old classmates after her marriage fail?

    "Can a man rake live coals on his chest and not get burned?" asks the Bible.
    And the Bible is ever true.

  35. This Chronicle confirms that it is not about Nigerian men.

    What is a woman "doing in the whatsapp status upadates" of a man known to her as married.
    Yes, it is also right to ask what a married man was looking for in her status update"

    So, each time we are finger ready to press the Nigerian men or Nigerian women keys, we must remember that it is not about gender or Nigeria. It is about each person.

  36. As far as Christianity is concerned you already slept with her. You cant tell me you've not imagined doing things with her in your mind. You obviously dont want to be helped . Because what exactly does I cant block Anita mean??? I said you are not ready for help seh, because which known therapy will not involve you being asked to block Anita???? My dear, remember the case of Davido and 'Anita' and be wise. You know you want to sleep with her. She knows you want to sleep with her. She wants you to sleep with her hence the game shes playing. Yes my dear. Its a game. I can only hope you win. If need be ,cut off from the elder brother sef, because when it happens even the brother wont be able to save you. Anitas aim is only one, to destroy your marriage, are you going to allow her. It wnt be easy to be sincere with you. There are many times you will be lost in thouhts about her and her only, but ask King Jesus for help and be sincere with him if you are a Christian. Lastly I leave you with this, 'facebook' helps in reconnecting with people and friends, some from the past. But the truth is SOME PEOPLE ARE BETTER LEFT IN THE PAST.

    1. Thank you for your wise words,let's be realistic in this life so poster you can't face your wife and leave the said lady who is she that will cost your marriage , as far as you have a family now face your marriage, anything that is not legal will not cost you peace , she is a distraction leave her remove your mind from there, remember God gave us freewill to choose what's good and bad to the same way you can't commit murder it's the same way you cnt commit adultery, see you see adultery.
      Free her and face your family mute her status and mute yours, avoid daily conversation sometimes firm busy don't open messages all the time tell her your busy, she will guilt trip you o by your not calling all the time but poster believe me she is grenade waiting to explode. Free her from your thoughts before you know it now you start booking hotels to see ,pls eyes right hanlele

  37. I am feeling the same way about my Ex right now. Don't know what to do with this feelings.

    1. Bury it and move on , it happened to me and my ex after the knacking na so we no call each other again , was asking myself why I do am .
      I told God pls forgive me cos nothing will ever make me off clothe for anybody again apart from my husband. All these feelings are nonsense once it's not with your married partner don't do it
      Poster you see this feeling you have for her it will put you in trouble

  38. Poster you said you don't want to ignore or ghost her ,WHY when she is going to cost your marriage pls never tell your wife that it's the work of the devil,it's a mistake na this conversation and feelings you have for her is the mistake, pls mute her status and mute your re married that feeling should not go on do whatever you can to avoid future disaster


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