Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: `Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Thursday, November 16, 2023

`Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

Hmmmm...


STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED

Hi Stella,
Greetings to you and BV's.
I want BV's to help me see if I am wrong here.
I am married ( two years now) to the most amazing man, no kids yet (our choice)
My husband works in the oil and gas sector, so it's three weeks in and three weeks out.

When it's time for him to go in, I become a total wreck because I know I'll miss him so much,(Even when we were dating, he told me it will stop but it hasn't, lol) We are crazy about each other like that.
Most of the time when he leaves, I'll have someone come stay with or I let my nanny stay over because it's always lonely when I get back from work, but this time we invited two of my single friends to come stay with me.

My friends came in 3days to when my husband was due to go back to work and I was still hurt that he was leaving, this time the feeling was so strong I was trying so hard to hide it, but he knows me so well.

He innocently and casually suggested (over dinner) we go to an all girls trip to Dubia or the Maldives and spend a week or two so that I won't miss him much

I just casually told him naa, I am not in the mood for traveling.
Immediately my friend's faces changed, they were so pissed and started giving me attitude after that.

I have reasons why I don't want to travel.
1: My husband is very generous, he will want to foot all our bills and shopping expenses for me and my friends, with this crazy $ rate? O wrong naa.

2:I have projects that needs my attention.
3: My husband handles all our travels and I wasn't about stressing abeg.

I sincerely don't feel the need to explain to them why I don't want to travel ( or should I?)
I even suggested doing a 3 day beach resort around us but they declined and said they will be leaving soon.

I never thought I'll be one of those people who will cut off their single friends after marriage but I think I understand why people do it.
But BV's am I wrong?
Forgive my typos, I am really tired.

Before you cut them off, if i was one of them i will cut you off first.
The money you complained about is not yours to spend.....All your excuses dont carry weight at all..
It looks like you like drama, your husband is going to work and you will be getting upset, you want himt o stay at home? I know whose husbands work such and the time they spend at home is heaven and when they are going back offshore,they dontact like you described up there.

117 comments:

  1. Do you, the world will adjust. Your family , your rules.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster, you don’t owe anyone an in-depth explanation on why you don’t want the Dubai trip. It is your finances you are talking about, and this is the time for you to plan for rainy days. They are your friends, right? You all should know each other by now. Tell them you don’t feel like travelling outside the country this period. You can take them out for shopping and spoil them with one person’s ticket money but if the attitudes continue, then you can back out quietly because any abrupt cut-off will dent your relationship with them. Depending on what they know about you that your husband does not know, you will be watching your back. Missing your hubby or feeling upset with his departure is normal if you are close and a clingy person but you can employ a live -in- nanny. Maybe an elderly person you trust. Someone who can keep you company but not poke nose in your closeness with your husband. Your friends do not have any right to be mad because you refused to travel. It is not their idea, and it is not as if you are spoiling a long-planned vacation. Just make it up to them by spoiling them in your city. Again, if their attitudes did not change, give the relationship space gradually. Why not keep yourself busy with volunteer work or online certifications or even develop a new hobby. How long will you beg or pay for companionship?

      Delete
    2. Stop exposing your husband to your friends, this discussion should have happened between you both without third parties hearing or contributing to it, please be wise, thank you for protecting him, this is your decision, any one not happy can leave the room. Your husband money is your money, you have done very well to protect him, encourage him to invest and build, just buy gifts for your friends to calm them down, but deal with outsiders at arm's length, keep your private life private.

      Delete
    3. Dear Poster, you did not do anything wrong, you only protected your husband which is right and you were even generous enough to offer other option, so owe them no explanation. If they are not okay with it they can go.

      Delete
    4. Babe no worry you would adjust. You see me so,I'm the happiest when hubby is going offshore. There was a time he did 6months straight in another country. Maybe mine is because i have children, so that minus 1 more baby. Close spend time with the kids,facetime hubby sleep and relax.

      Delete
    5. Poster, I really hope you will see my comment.
      Start creating boundaries in your marriage today today.
      Your husband shouldn’t have said that to your friends before a private discussion with you.
      Secondly, if you were the one that told them, better stop it today today.
      Why do your friends know how deep your husbands pocket is?. they have No business knowing. Next time complain about the economy like every other person. The devil is not smiling oo. Infant tell them that finances is the major reason you didn’t want to go.
      Thirdly, let your friends do sleepovers in hotels or resorts. I say this because your friends are giving off a leeches vibe, sorry to say. And leeches no dey use eye see rich man oo. Ehenn. Don’t say you were not informed.
      If I were you, I would tone down on the drama and keep it in the bedroom. Abi works you rather he loses his job?.
      Secondly, I wouldn’t cut my friends off just yet. But I would gradually start seeing serious boundaries. And be careful about what I share with them.
      I repeat they do not need to know how rich your husband is or how bad you’re missing him , his whereabouts or anything of the sort. Not that it’s bad to share, but your friends come off like leeches. And I would be careful around leeches. They are friends material not bestie material.
      Be wise.
      NB: your hubs money is yours as well. Help him invest it please.
      No job is permanent

      Delete
    6. Thank you for your short and sweet comment BlackBerry. It helped me pick up my jaw from the floor after reading Stella’s comment.

      Delete
  2. For me you are not wrong oo, it's your husband and your choice. Me I thought you will think of them taking your man ooo during the vacation, that's not the issue here.

    You are a lover girl (woman) who misses her husband alot. Your friends are not supposed to be angry. You offered them another option but they declined, it's their problem not yours. Try to be busy and engaged with other activities when he is not around or maybe you both needs a baby now to distract you lol.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She is not wrong for real,she was not supposed to have such discussion in front of her friends.

      Delete
    2. Hmm mm why is my spirit telling me that something go soon happen for your back! Am sorry if am giving u bp alreadyπŸ˜‚

      Delete
  3. Stella and her red ink hahahahahhahahahahhahaha poster do whatever your conscience can carry but this idea of acting up when hubby is going to job that pays your bill is somehow oooo. Try get busy like investing in yourself with skills or business so you dont miss his absent that much. Stay away from friends keeping your companion maka had i know.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She has a job ooo, make una dey read and double read abeg.

      Delete
    2. Does having a job stop her from investing more in herself to get busy and not miss her hubby?

      Delete
  4. You are not wrong at all. Learn to love by yourself, before you wreck your home and your peace of mind.
    You and your hubby owe your friends no vacation.
    Don’t feel guilty about turning it down o, don’t. That money can be used for something more important.
    What happens after Dubai? One or both of them will want to go further and start sleeping with your husband after all, he is generous.
    If they decide they want to cut their stay short, let them. If they want to stop being friends with you, let them.
    Do not start what will ruin stuff for you.
    Abeg you see that vacation money, keep am tight. Do not change your mind for any reason, you hear.

    Sluttychic.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thank you for this.

      Next time, such conversation should be between you and your husband.

      Delete
  5. If you don’t want to travel you don’t want to travel, there is no need to give anyone an explanation. They are thinking about their own enjoyment not yours. If your friends do not get such opportunities often then I can see their disappointment, but none of this calls for any long term anger. You all need to grow the hell up!

    ReplyDelete
  6. Poster you are over reacting and your friends too are over reacting, bcos who wouldn't value an opportunity as that.
    If I be your friend I no go hide mouth tell you say you fuckup.
    But lass lass the money na ya husband own, na ya money.
    So do whatever you like with your friends..
    Me I no dey the group wey married friend dey cut off, na me dey even cut them off sef cos una too get wahala.
    The only married people I'm friends with are my close blood relatives who are my age mates)
    I personally as a single lady don't like moving with married girl friends, we don't quarell ,we only befriend from afar like social media things.
    Lol

    ReplyDelete
  7. Lol Stella oh πŸ˜…, it's her husband's money oh, she has the right to decide how it's been spent... And she is her husband priority not them, so why are they angry about it? The trip was meant for her not them, why are they making an issue about it.. Please cut them off and stop all these childish attitude abeg.. Grow up

    ReplyDelete
  8. Hf_beddings/fiber-pillows/honey/English-fabrics IG: hf_emporium_ 0907230039116 November 2023 at 15:13

    My dear, even keeping friends, is a lot of work from all parties. So, to maintain it, you all need to keep trashing issues and inputing good vibes. So, I will suggest you explain to them.
    It's only you that know your level of friendship with them and how much sacrifices you all have made for each other. So only you can determine if your decision was wrong or not.
    Meanwhile, try learning to stay by yourself. You work. You ain't idle. So plan each activity for each day. Kindly get use to it. It's necessary and will help your marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Stell, pls what did you say, that the money is not hers? What belongs to her husband belongs to her and vice versa.
    Pls poster, if the friend would get angry because you dont want your husband spending so much, let them vex. Save, save, save. Learn to enjoy your space. Must friends be in your home when your husband is not around? How do they know he is so wealthy if you did not let them know? Poster be careful oh. Guide your home and be wise. Look for things to occupy your time. Cheers.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Their faces changed, cos you said no. Just do you abeg.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Poster. I’m afraid for you oh letting strangers into your home. Be very careful. It may backfire
      All in the name of I’m lonely. You will soon invite someone that will raise your loneliness to power 1 million. Why don’t you get pregnant and have a baby. Instead of inviting friends to stay over in this economy
      Your friends may be trust worthy. I may be wrong though but the devil isn’t sleeping

      Zendaya

      Delete
    2. Chika(hello iya boys)16 November 2023 at 19:25

      Poster Assuming you have kids
      You will be buzy with them and not miss Oga Too much
      Your beautiful and Precious kids will definitely keep you company .
      Dnt mind those your friends ooo
      Help your Oga save money biko
      You can as well take them to shopping and buy Orishirishi for them..
      My sister your next Encounter with Oga will be twins in πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™πŸ™Jesus mighty name...

      Delete
    3. I can't stand grown up's that are clingy. I also find it difficult to understand when someone with internet and power to charge her devices will say she that is bored. Don't you have internet? Start an online course that will keep you busy after work. Bringing all sorts of people into your home all in the name of being lonely is not wise at all. Your husband should have discussed the trip with you privately. Just pray that they don't go behind your back to ask him for the trip. I was in oil and gas and can tell you that majority of them spend money without thinking, just like your husband, because they believe they will make it up with their next rig bonus. Cheating is also like a badge of honor for most of them and I pray your husband doesn't fall your hand.

      Delete
    4. Yes the clinginess to the husband understable ,calling friends to stay over cos you re lonely hnhnh download Netflix watch movies, go for online courses , watch healthy documentaries, watch TikTok , if you can start your own content smile ,work sleep and pray for yourselves.why have wolves looking to devour your money those your friends will soon cut you off , you mean in this economy your husband suggested Dubai girls trip , una get money o pls start investing, una don buy lands, property, invest in gold ,money market, professional courses, stach money for bank you ll need it for rainy days , save towards baby items map your savings
      Reduce the clinginess o makee u no buy market with your hand

      Delete
  11. Poster let them go biko, is it by force to agree to go on a vacation? Avoid those friends, they are not really good friends. Instead of telling you they are not happy so you can explain if you wish, they are given you attitude. Don't invite them to your house again.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I completely disagree with the notion that the money isn't hers to spend! It's household income... so she reserves the right to say how it should be spent. Afterall, 2 become 1, after marriage!

    Her friends saying they want to leave before they were scheduled to do so, makes you ponder about their motives behind the friendship. @poster, how long have you known them?

    Lastly, I will say that your issue has nothing to do with single vs married friends. They would have behaved the same way, even if they had husbands.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Stella I disagree! Her husband her rules and her choice!!!! They should go away abeg! Simple …allow husband spend like that day Wetin happen?

    ReplyDelete
  14. Are you sure you are currently working? Your write-up doesn't sound like it to me. If you go to work by the time you are back you should be tired and getting prepared for the next day, right? Why need company? Besides your husband asking you to travel for some weeks makes it even more unbelievable that you have an office you go to like you implied? Are you
    a full housewife? Otherwise, why can't you be alone for a few hours by yourself without being so bored that you need to call friends to keep you company? You brought all this on yourself, to be honest, and your husband is indulging you. Why can't you be by yourself for a while when you feel the need to bring your friends into your matrimonial home? What kind of a setting is that?

    Anyways, Your friends feel like you are a spoilt sport and selfish. You ask them to come and eat but still go ahead to hold their hands. He is your husband you did nothing wrong in my opinion. It is only natural you would be concerned and care more about his spending. They will be fine and if they are not and keep avoiding you then the better. Maybe this would be a wake-up call for you to try to adjust your lifestyle. You knew his profession before you decided to marry him.

    Words on Marble.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gbam. And what sort of clingy co dependent relationship is this?? As in you can’t be by yourself?? This is absolutely not healthy! Learn to enjoy your own Company!!!

      Delete
  15. Poster you are a very self centered person that believes the world revolves around her. You can call your friends to come and keep you company but you have scruples giving them an all expenses trip paid by your hubby vacation. What kind of supposed friend are you? You feel your friends don't deserve a vacation to Dubai or Maldives, But should be at your beck and call at the same time? Was your husband not aware of the exchange rate before he made the offer? Of course, you don't want your friends to go on this trip cos you want to be the local champion among them.
    In life, never think you have gotten to a place of utopia, because there are no guarantees in life. These friends you feel are unworthy of life pleasures, may turn out to be your saviours tomorrow.
    Don't bother about threatening to cut off these friends, cos they have already unfriended you after this disgraceful behaviour you put up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She is not self-centred even though they feel that way. They are just entitled.


      Yes! She called them to come and keep her company and they accepted because they wanted to. If it wasn't comfortable for them or beneficial - the kinds of friends she described in her story would have bounced and made excuses on why they couldn't make it.

      Have you ever had entitled people flex on your money before? Trust me, they go overboard because it is free without any consideration for you. She knew the kinds of friends she had hence her refusal. They would probably shop beyond necessary.

      Words on Marble.

      Delete
    2. Leave her na! Instead of her to secure her home she is here acting in error

      Delete
    3. The friends are not entitled. They didn't mute the idea, the poster's husband did. He did because he felt the friends deserved it and he could afford it, but poster felt her friends are undeserving, or that a trip to Maldives or Dubai was above their league.
      I still maintain my stance that poster is selfish and if if there is anyone with a sense of entitlement, it's the poster.

      Delete
    4. That saying "Awoof dey run belle" should be everyone's mantra unless you are a selfish person with a sense of entitlement. It is not every gift you accept. If you cannot pay for your trip to Dubai or Maldives, don't expect someone else to let her husband sponsor you. If you were in posters shoes, will you let him spend that amount of money on a whim?

      Delete
  16. babe, you are not wrong. There is nothing bad in trying to curtail expensive spending in this economy. If you feel like explaining to them fine. But you are just fine, without friends that takes offenses so easily.

    ReplyDelete
  17. You have to be in the mood to travel since u husband has break f news in d presence, if not u will be thier enemies

    ReplyDelete
  18. You are not at fault kan kan, those friends of yours na wa for them oo, how can they be angry just because don't wanna go on vacation abii Dem don see your hubby as maga?

    ReplyDelete
  19. Nobody truly understands how you feel, please follow your heart.
    You know your husband and probably he offered to spend that huge amount just to make you happy but you knowing better understands the money will help the family in the long run. The fact that you turned down the trip shows you are selfless.
    Stella and her Red pen has mostly been Off for some time now, don't mind her.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Is it that you don't want to travel with your girlfriends or that you don't want to travel at all??
    As you didn't tell them why you don't want to travel,how would they know your mind to know you have nothing against them??
    You know your friends too well to know whether to still keep them close or cut them off. ..
    You don't cut them off because you are married rather set boundary.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Firstly, i don’t see why you keep acting up nd all when he wants to go back to work. Shey make him follow you sit down for house and not work again??
    Secondly, you don’t owe those ur friends any explanation whatsoever . It’s your husband’s money and since you Kuku don’t want to go for the vacation dey should rest and if by any means they stop talking to you cos of it kindly maintain the same energy. And please be careful the way you invite them to your house make ur thing no go turn another person own. Crazy things are happening dis days

    ReplyDelete
  22. Is it that you don't want to travel with your girlfriends or that you don't want to travel at all??
    As you didn't tell them why you don't want to travel,how would they know your mind to know you have nothing against them??
    You know your friends too well to know whether to still keep them close or cut them off. ..
    You don't cut them off because you are married rather set boundary.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Ive cut off my married friends to avoid see finish.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. No be only you. These married friends? If you don't cut them off they will be suing style to insult you.

      Delete
    2. thank you @winniethepooh, see the way this chronicle poster is insulting her single friends cause they were upset that she turned down an all expenses paid holiday! who would not be upset by that! especially if this poster has been complaining in their ears that she is lonely, they come to cheer her up and the husband presents opportunity to go on holiday with them and she says no and is here reporting them to us like they are bad friends cause they're single. what rubbish! even married friends who have opportunity of all expenses paid holiday would want to go! chronicle poster is using it to insult her friends cause they are single. im so vexed

      Delete
  24. PΓ³ster, be careful how you innocently allow your friends creep into your home ooo. Hmmmm. This one they're carrying face already.
    Your No is your No. Stick to it.
    If you want to hangout, plan it somewhere and invite them. Friends never do you something before. Don't cut them off but my Sister be wise.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Na wa o. The way people say poster is right about being selfish, but at the same time get angry when they don't benefit from giveaways, or are always praying for destiny helpers, but supports another withholding vacation/help to her friends only shows the selfishness in humans.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Likeeee???!

      Delete
    2. It’s obvious the husband is well to do. So what’s with the “you’re not wrong” narrative everybody is saying here.
      Didn’t the husband know the exchange rate before he suggested the vacation??
      Abeg poster you’re wrong!

      Delete
    3. When una marry or get bigger responsibility, una go understand. Is it by force for her to travel? If travel dey hungry them, make them buy ticket, afterall Dubai no hard. Osho free people will always be looking for selfish advantages.

      Delete
    4. She is sooo wrong. Go watch real housewives and see how husbands book private jet for their wives and friends. Poster don do her friends long throat come cut short the joy. She say make them no vex. The jobless friends too

      Delete
    5. Vacation na destiny epp?
      Giveaway here na for flexing?
      Make we compare oranges with tangerines at least, not with agbalumo.
      The staycaetion the friends came for was better for them. Otherwise, they would not have come to be with Poster.

      Greedy friends.
      Unwise wife.
      Na husband man head dey carry the load if him no know God.

      The Bible is ever true.
      A wise wife builds her home. A less wiser wife pulls her home down with her bare hands.

      Poster,
      Nobody says to drive away your friends. But the Bible says to be wise as a serpent, but harmless as a dove.

      Delete
    6. Lol, you are judging real life event based on a scripted reality show? Wow!

      Delete
  26. You are not wrong. Find a business that will keep you busy while your husband is away. You have too much free time.

    ReplyDelete
  27. You are not wrong in any sense.

    There are friends for a reason and friends for a season. If you don't plan your resources well, when the chips are down, those friends would be the first to embarrass you.

    I will give you my two cents:

    1. Make babies as soon as possible: marrying a rich guy is a snare, some people can go to any length to get pregnant for him, including using spiritual power or drugs.

    2. Let him invest in you so that you too are empowered enough.

    3. Continue loving him but do not show your inner home to your friends, no matter how close you are. Nobody hates or get jealous of what they don't know. Even God lives in unapproachable light. He hides his glory in secrets.

    4. Continue what works for you.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "God lives in an unapproachable light""
      Hnmmmm, it's been a long time I read this. Thanks.

      Delete
    2. Case closed @15:53 & 15:58
      Who get ears dey hear.

      Delete
  28. It's obvious they're there for what they'll gain.
    Abeg poster you're not wrong. Wo throws money in the wind in this period. I'm sure in your hubby is even proud of your decision.
    When the money finish now ( God forbid) this same same friends will tell the world how extravagant you are.

    If they want to go let them go. You're an odozi aku not Ori aku. And let me tell you one thing,stop thinking you can't stay all by yourself, you sure can and keep yourself busy by going through SDK blog when you're back from work.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Stella this days it's like you are getting too 'abroadish' with your comments.Lol.

    ReplyDelete
  30. You're looking out for the interest of your home which is not a bad thing. Please do what you want to do abeg.

    Those friends will do same, so? Abeggi. Why didn't they agree to go to a place around your base? Lol. Awoof dey sweet. πŸ™„

    ReplyDelete
  31. If you feel hanging around them will make your hubby spend so much,then stay away from them and pls do not complain about boredom.you can hangout with family members or get involve with business activities that would take much of your time.

    ReplyDelete
  32. This arrangement of allowing your friends to stay with you when your husband is away is somehow. Why can't you be by yourself? Distract yourself with work and other stuff not having people to come and stay over for days.
    I hope you know what you're doing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Very somehow. I tried wrapping my head around it but it just didn't make sense. If I were one of her friends, and she asked me over I would automatically turn her down because I can't understand it at all. Imagine she travelled and the husband brought his friend to his matrimonial home to keep him company.

      Words on Marble.

      Delete
    2. She does not but wants to come here to blame the friends. I sure say she don dey use her husband money dey do them long throat. Awon "my husband this, my husband that". Na the jobless friends I blame for going to throw-body in her house. If na only me, you go sidon wait Oga when e return

      Delete
    3. Women do that live in friend stuff.
      As asked would she let her husband's friends or even his family stay in?
      Selfish.
      Anyway, marriage and all good in it and from it belongs to the woman.

      Delete
    4. @anonymous 17:18 - i agree its her friends i blame for catering to this proud chronicle poster! the way she has come here to insult them for being upset for turning down an all expenses paid holiday is so annoying to me!

      Delete
  33. Find a way to get pregnant o, huh. E get why! These babies you're postponing having now might be elusive by the time you're "ready". Your husband must have babies oo. We're Nigerians and stories abound. Take this as a warning, suggestion, advise, opinion, joke, whatever.

    Reduce this hang outs with your friends before your husband. There's nothing like "you should know your friends by now". Cases of sisters and best friends snatching husbands full every where. Why must they make face when you cancelled the trip? And you're taking their action with a pinch of salt? Will they allow their men pick such bills at this time?

    Have you seen any man or woman whose cause of death was loneliness arising from the partner going to work?

    Mind yourself is not an insult. I see you're sooo naive. All these people you bring in to "cure loneliness" know your husband is lit know you stay alone and you forget bad things are happening in the country.

    I hope you're not among the "God forbid" type yet won't take necessary measures. Guard your husband. Stay on your own. Loneliness never kill pensioners na you with phone, DSTV and money to hang out loneliness will kill. Don't set yourself up for future regrets.

    I'm sounding abit harsh because you seem not to understand how deep the world is.

    Shine your eyes small madam

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She is the "God forbid" my life is perfect type. So many blind spots in this chronicle alone. Tufia!

      Delete
    2. The man earns in dollars.
      You guys are calculating his expenses in Naira.
      He is not operating under Nigerian economic regimen. And Poster +friends know. That's why the friends do face and vex.

      Delete
    3. If he works in Nigeria, he doesn't earn in $ unless he has a non-nigerian passport and was recruited from abroad and posted to Nigeria.

      Delete
    4. @ 18:37 Gbam. You get it. It’s not like they want to go on vacation all the time. Poster you’ll end up not having friends at all. You’re a user yourself. You only want to use your friends to cure your loneliness for 3 weeks but can’t take them on vacation. Last last you’ll let them know this is going to be the budget on shopping and all and you stick to it. Na wa for you sha.

      Delete
  34. Stella, your red pen nor follow today at all. She said its her husband, and not a maga or zaddy.
    If you like, gather your friends, married or single to come and feast on your husband's money. Claiming to be good hearted and generous. Once they taste it, they will want it all for themselves, then collect him from you kpata kpata. Who don't know my gender? Dey play!

    ReplyDelete
  35. Me I know get time for yeye friendship wey go dey give me headache.

    ReplyDelete
  36. poster please avoid those your friends for now, if you said nope to your husband suggestion and they are angry that means they do not have good plans for you. Ask them to book their flight ticket, shopping money that what your husband gave you is not going to cover everything. You can also press ignore button and face your marriage, let them go get their husband to lavish money anyhow. You people should spend wisely cos children will soon start coming your way.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Stella this your advice get k legged

    ReplyDelete
  38. If am your friend d thing will pain me bc u are my destiny helper. And u come put sand 4 my garri again.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lmao. At least one person is saying the truth about how they would feel if they were the friends. I don't believe this chronicle sha

      Delete
    2. 🀣
      Thank you for saying she's their destiny helper if they are true friends.
      But as you dey now, if you are Poster's friend, your destiny would be better helped by getting you a correct complete solid solar powered refrigeration system for your fish business. Not a trip to Dubai or Maldives. Money to flex no bi destiny epp. E go open your throat and if more no come, e dey bring regret.

      Delete
    3. How is a trip to Dubai or Maldives going to help their destiny? So they will take pictures and post it on social media then what next? Is it not equivalent to being given fish instead of being taught how to fish?

      Delete
  39. If their face didn’t change then they are fake friends. He announced a golden opportunity that excited then and you cut it. Were they supposed to be happy about it
    Explain why to them afterall they are your friends
    And what’s with the single friends but you’re throwing in there.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You saw the single friends shade too, ba? Tommorow if any of those friends marry better man that sponsors them on a vacation, she will now start apologizing and trying to make up

      Delete
  40. You are not wrong poster.......you that is wearing the shoe knows were it hurt,so .... do you......... Josaria

    ReplyDelete
  41. I am single woman in my 30s and I avoid many married friends. Why? Because most of them who have husbands that are doing well, act like this poster. They don't have ONE SENSE!! ONE!

    1. First of, who exposes their husband to friends? Who?!! If not a person that does not have sense. Tomorrow, if your "friends" go and sleep with your husband now, you will be raising alarm, Instead of admitting that you exposed him to them. Even me wey never marry, I don't expose boyfriends. You carry your husband dey dangle for their eye. You well, so???! Bring your head make I knack you small sense... Idiorikoriwa
    2. What man discusses vacation infront of his wife's friends? Is that not something he should have asked you in private? Baba wan impress your friends. Typical off-shore man who gets excited at the sight of women. E go shock you say him dey carry for outside. Dey dia dey clingy-clingy.
    3. Why are you clingy? Did you not have an existence before you got married? Do you not have a job or business or passion to chase? See as you dey do like small pikin. Man wan go work, you dey enter mood swing. You dey this planet, so?!
    4. No go do make belle enter you hear? Be there inviting strangers and friends into a house that you should be littering with children and using your husbands "money" to train.
    5. Stop deceiving us that you are protecting your husband's wealth. You do not come across as the type of wife who stays on top of his finances. If you were that involved in his expenses, he won't offer such without consulting you first. Talk true... do you even know how much he earns? Yes he gives you enough to take care of yourself and you have a comfortable life. But, your opinion on exchange rate don't count for sh*t, in this regard. No dey do like say anything #iykyk

    And single women, make una leave una married friends alone. Be like me. Stop going to their houses, if they don't have an important function. And when you go, keep your visit short. It helps to avoid insult.
    Make your own money. Let them see you live life on your own terms and wonder how you do it without the "financial security" they have. Then you will see them lapping in your DM wanting to be closer and asking to visit/hang out with you. That's how you handle them until your turn comes.
    This one now wants to brand her friends "bad and jealous" after this evident display of all-round thoughtlessness. Don't sit down and secure your life and your home. Be here whining about this and that... If you don't have anything to do, go and join women group in church and make godly friends who have common sense and self-respect.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You provoke o!😁

      Delete
    2. God bless you

      Delete
    3. i so much love this comment! Although there are some good married friends, that in your singleness you can keep (dont be visiting them in their house like that though), but some of them like this chronicle poster, wow, the way they will now be using different ways to insult you, better to stay clear.
      chronicle poster, in my opinion, based on this your write up alone, you actually dont deserve those your friends.

      Delete
    4. @17:13 God bless you. πŸ‘πŸΎ you finish work for this comment! Kisses to you. 😘 I’m a married woman and I don’t understand the clingy sh*t. When my husband travels or goes to work, I get to have my me time and focus on myself small. Poster you better wake up and work on yourself big time. So just in case you hear stories about him cheating, you won’t completely crash and go into depressed mood. You dey trust offshore man easily??? Hmmm loll unless he’s a genuinely God fearing man and who’s disciplined then I’ll understand. 3 weeks of hard work and no sex? And dem see women there all the time. Hmmm na you sabi oo. You better wake up.

      Delete
  42. I won't even ask for advice before I cut them off, who are they to make face because I don't want my husband to send them on vacation?
    Sha shine your eyes before one or both of them start sleeping with your husband or snatch him by all means, because girls are not smiling.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Shittt I would be upset! It’s a normal human emotion/reaction. A vacation offer? A little bit to get away from stressful naija?? They’re staying with her for 3 wks! Why can’t she plan the vacation with them if she’s really lonely. It’s not like it’ll be all the time.

      Delete
  43. You are not telling us your real fear or worry.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Dear poster, you're doing the right thing by saving your husband's money. You don't need to explain to them. Save money for your future kids.. when your friends are done staying with you, they can go abeg

    ReplyDelete
  45. Some people don’t understand having someone to go on trips with is a blessing
    Your husband is busy but has money. He’s willing to pay for them to entertain
    It’s a mutually beneficial arrangement
    The way my laziness is set up I doubt I’ll agree to go even if you’re paying cause even the thought of airport and I’ll sit down
    I’ve added money to trips they I didn’t even go. Easier to pay than the wahala
    Nothing wrong with his plan and nothing wrong in you saying no and also nothing wrong with how they feel about the no
    So calm down
    My friend was married when we were in school and she’s use his card to buy us lunch and stuff. He always wanted us to go out and enjoy cause he lived in a different state. We would go to expensive restaurants that she wanted to try but didn’t want to go by herself. With sense oh we didn’t do pass ourselves
    A good friend Is a blessing pls. We are still friends today. No one stole anybodys man 😁

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Leave her na! Very spiteful person coming here to blame her friends. May God deliver me from this type of friend

      Delete
    2. @anonymous 18:35, may God deliver us ooo in Jesus name! I have good married friends and I pray to be a good married like Anonymous 18:08 has experienced when my own time comes

      Delete
  46. Don’t Explain Nada to anyone!!!

    Your House your Rule.

    You should’ve had this discussion without your Friends being Present.

    You are a Big Baby.

    ReplyDelete
  47. Please, go and protect your home like the eagle and bring your mum if she is available, accommodating and around most of the days you need someone around. Please, try for babies too, they will make you get busy at home.
    You can do it!!! Just have your own mind and do not rely on any human for happiness!
    Above all, Pray for God’s guidance πŸ™
    EUM Cali

    ReplyDelete
  48. Keep dangling your man like carrot. If you want, don't enjoy your own company and invest that money. Ask him to give you the money and invest it. It is like you are naive, very naive. Hmmmmm.

    Look for busy women with mutual interest and hang with while keeping your home private.

    Ha gaha aragbu Di gi. A word is enough for the wise.

    KING XOXO MYSTERY

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, I agree. I didn’t like the friends being over the home at that time. But folks know what is best for them

      Delete
    2. Poster since your husband is a thoughtless spender, better start collecting large sums and saving & investing it for a rainy day. It will help you both. This is not an insult o, I've been there, done that and I used to ask my colleagues if the money was cursed because you just blow it as it comes. Even office guys earning 1/10th of what you make will buy land, build houses etc. while you will blow yours living the good life in a serviced apartment, travelling, solving other people's problems even before they finish telling you their story etc. I've also seen some oil and gas guys who lose their jobs struggle financially after blowing all the money they made without making any good investments. Some guys let their wives manage the money. They just get an allowance and the rest goes into the family account which madam has access to. That is the one way to avoid blowing it.

      Delete
  49. Stella what do you mean the money is not hers? If shit hits the fan will those friends come through for her and her husband? Times are hard any wasteful spending should not be encouraged abeg.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They might actually
      Or you think married friends don’t ask single friends for help
      Y’all know less than you think you do πŸ˜ƒ

      Delete
  50. If I were your friends, I too will carry face for you and if I were you, I’d do the exact thing you did. You did right, it’s your finances even if your husband is paying. But next time make Una Dey learn to talk in private.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Poster it's your husband, your money, your vacation and your family, you have the right to decide how you want things to be done with-out any explanation to anyone. You are not wrong

    ReplyDelete
  52. Stella's red pen is definitely wrong this time. If your friends are acting like this over this, they are not true friends.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Nigerians are users sha! Kai! See how all of them are shouting destiny helpers up and down. Na wa!
    And clearly, you lot don’t experience the kind of love that looks like movie, as per county is hard and na marriage of convenience plenty for that place. It is okay for her to act and feel this way with her husband! I work from home, my husband doesn’t but guess what? I miss him everyday when he is leaving, and we call each other during breaks and free times like we are still not going to see in few hours.
    My husband foots the bills and gives me money as well, however, there are times when he wants to make expensive purchases for me, and I decline because I’d rather he save that money for our future expenses or he invests it in stocks. How much more if he wants to do Father Christmas.
    What i’d agree with most people is that, you should shield your home and marriage from people. You are not a baby anymore, start acting like an adult. I’m not saying be paranoid, but be wise as a serpent.
    I’d end on this note, it doesn’t matter single or married, make sure your friends are people of like minds with you, people who share similar values and beliefs. People who are on your level emotional intelligence-wise. I can imagine this exact scenario with my own friends, they’d either decline or foot their own bills. They are not I never chop, they earn 6 solid figures in dollars, they are not looking for destiny helper. I’d also react the same as my friends if the roles were reversed and someone’s husband wants to do this.
    We are not leeches. This is definitely not about single or married, it’s simply mindset.
    In a nutshell, naija people are leeches and like to milk people, see how they are shouting destiny helper up and down… you people should better work hard and change your mindset so that you can be ‘destiny helpers’ to others, and not always looking for handouts.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Poster you don't owe them any explanation, your choice.

    ReplyDelete
  55. All this do not dangle single ladies in front of husband , bla, bla, makes me wonder, if men can ever be held accountable? so you mean this male humans have no self control that they can eat the 'dangled carrot' on a whim? God have mercy!

    ReplyDelete

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