Hmmm......
BOMBSHELL FROM HUSBAND
My husband has been cheating a lot and when I confronted him he said,he doesn't find me attractive again.....Please everyone, what can I do to make myself s#xually attractive to him?.
A short but very meaningful Chronicle..
This is really sad....So s#x is why he married you? And even if he doesnt find you attractive again, can he not tell you what has changed so you can work on it? How do we know what your husband likes and what has changed? When he said it why didnt you challenge him and ask him...
What a stupid reason he gave to give you a complex to backup his cheating...
That said please check if your hygiene is top notch,check your armpits,check your tongue and if you stopped brushing it please do so when brushing...check your undies, if you were slim and you put on wieght, try to work on it, if you were on the big side and you lost wieght,then do something about it.....
Now let me tell you this...Dont change for a man who is busy outside cheating, he wont change...If you are comfortable with the way you are , then dont change anything!
Gbam. Stella, you covered the whole matter. 👌
ReplyDeleteThank you Stella and everyone.
DeleteI will say a little things about us.
We met in the university,I am from a well to do family while his mom was late but,his dad did everything possible to raise them better.
During service I got pregnant and my family arranged for a small wedding.Everything was still going on well in the marriage,we were living in a room and parlour.
We were both working then and thankfully a contract came his way and we built our house and bought other properties,that was when problem started.
He changed his cliques of friends,wouldn't have sex with me often as before then he said he was trying to make more money for the family so sex was the last thing on his mind.
We had one more child and since then it been excuses which I just let it slide till he started cheating with those around me,seeing condoms in his car,hiding to receive some calls.
The last one he did was so painful ,that I confronted him and he said he was sorry that he doesn't know how he finds himself cheating,that he isn't sexually attracted to me again,that I am not looking as beautiful as before.
I am still beautiful to outsiders,I am a very clean person,I resigned and started my business so I could focus on the kids and yet he is saying this to me.
Poster
My dear ignore him and do your thing revert to your old self let the kids spend time with your family be extra when I mean extra be deliberate about self care and attend events within your area let him be curious and set boundaries that he should come near you until he has done numerous tests,seems hard but he needs a hard reset.
DeleteThis could have been me writing this chronicles several years ago when my husband told me those exact words “ l have ZERO attraction for you “ he told me his penis could not stand whenever l stood naked in front of him. I reported him to our pastor, his parents and a few friends but he was adamant. He did not touch me for 8 good years. All this while cheating. How did this story turn around to him begging me for sex now? Reporting me to the world that l am refusing to sleep with him? Telling me what he did to me was in the past and we need to move on? Brb plix
DeleteStellemo you said it all. Poster if you are comfortable and happy in your our skill, then you don't need to change for anyone bit if not, you need a total transformation
Delete@ Brb plix please share what changed so that BVs can learn
DeleteGood eight years and you stayed there?
DeleteHmmm
Words on Marble.
"men" dish out what they cannot take one third of . Is it not wicked selfishness and evil to keep a woman starved for eight years? Is he not trying to push her to misbehave ?
DeleteI sympathize with the Poster and those who wrote similar stories, but the truth is that many men do not find their wives sexually attractive after a period of time.
DeleteIt's not about Holiness or upbringing. It just happens to men. Some eventually resort to cheating. Others dwell on football and other sports, while some take their time to work it out.
We don't tell our wives this, so we don't hurt their feelings. But happens to many many many many men.
I hope you know your wives also feel the same way. Make una no dey flatter unaselves
DeleteThere is always a ripped guy at every corner your wives turn.
I really feel for you, the best thing you can do now is to love yourself more, what he said can kill your self confidence but never allow that to happen. Now, be intentional about your happiness, dress well, look good and always be happy, try and take yourself out more, dress well and always look tush, up your dress sense. All these are not only for him, but for yourself and your confidence.
ReplyDeleteI've seen a man who said he's cheating because his wife's breasts are now sagged and he prefers perky breasts, if your husband is in this category, just know there's nothing you can do than to make yourself happy and let him realize you no longer send him
*Larry was here*
It happened to someone I know he won't stand with his wife but when he meets another woman he will be fully erect
DeleteYou don't have to do anything to make him find you attractive. You will end up losing yourself, your self-esteem and your sanity.
ReplyDeleteHe had to make you the problem so you could feel guilty for him stepping out. He has always been a cheat you just found out. You do not need to do anything to make a man or want who is naturally faithful to cheat. I know this is not the advise you are looking for but I refuse to give you the advice you seek.
One more thing if he felt that way all these while being a good man, he was supposed to have sat you down to air his grievances but I doubt he did but he only did say that after you challenged him which shows you married a cheat. How you still feel the need to impress him is beyond me.
DeleteWords on Marble.
You have said it as it is anon
DeletePoster read this advice
DeleteYour husband is thrash
Words on Marble.
ReplyDeleteI thought I put this after writing my comment at 15:09😂
DeleteAre there people who don’t brush? This one is very funny to me.
ReplyDeletePoster, you should have given details as to what you think changed that made you sexually unattractive to him.
The way you wrote it, was that how he presented it to you?
Has he ever complained about certain things you do that put him off?
Sluttychic.
Mama! Don't be downcasted. The first thing a Narcissist does is to strip you of your self-esteem and that is exactly what he's doing. He's not looking out for ways to spice up/ resolve any deficiency he feels his marriage has.. But rather complicating issues and throwing all the aspersions at you. Please, look good..dress nice.. Get good perfumes.Do it for your own self esteem. Self care is your responsibility.. Delegate and don't get too overwhelmed with work at home/work. Go out and chill with your friends ...Don't allow his words to get to you! Every cheat I have ever know are married to drop-dead gorgeous women!.. Greed.. Lack of self-control are d issue.
ReplyDeleteHe should have at least told you what changed so you can work on it. Why did he have to cheat when he could have had a conversation to make things better? Where is the love he has for you? Na wa!
ReplyDeletePlease follow Stella's advice. It is well with your home.
Sorry poster
ReplyDeleteJust love urself and make your self happy all the time.
Focus on what makes you happy..
You need to ask him what changed about you that made you unattractive to him. So you can work on it but that is if it won't affect your confidence and self esteem. What a funny reason to give for cheating.
ReplyDeleteMy ex told me to become fat. That he likes fat women. Yet he came for me. Abeggi don't kill yourself because of any man. If you are deficient in things Stella mentioned work on it to be a better version of yourself, not because of any man. If they can cheat on Beyonce who can they not cheat on? A man who will cheat will cheat. A faithful man will be faithful. I noticed in your follow up notes that your husband changed the minute he started making money. Such men disgust me. I can hardly respect such a thing. Anyway your life, your marriage.
DeleteWhat a silly way to justify his cheating.
ReplyDeleteStella thank you ,
ReplyDeletePoster come to the comment section and tell us what you think changed.
ReplyDeleteYour chronicle is not elaborate, so there's no way advice will flow.
But if it's because of childbirth that made your horseband said that nasty thing to you eehn, he's very wicked!
Hmmmmm
ReplyDeleteGive him more sex and prayer his sense will be reset
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't want sex with me,we haven't had sex for over a year now.
DeleteAnd you are still in the marriage?
DeleteThe man doesn't want you anymore. He has told you with words and even used action to relay his message. I don't know how old you are but You better don't waste your youth wishing for things to change and hoping he comes around only for you to look back on the years wasted and wished you had moved on sooner.
What one man's sees as thrash is another man's inestimable jewel.
You better don't write yourself off and move on with your life. Let's see if your story won't change. How can you be in an atmosphere where love is absent?
It takes two to tango and the man has zoomed out.
You still trying to appease him shows you don't value nor love yourself so how can he love you?
The year is almost gone and I am sure you would have tried for good 365 days sulking, crying, being miserable and even praying for him to have a change of heart but did it work?
New year is around the corner, I'll advise You better don't use the new year to be pining away for someone who doesn't care about your existence and whom your very presence irritates.
You better get your confidence and self-respect back and think of how to move on with your life.
Words on Marble.
How can a man avoid his wife for a year?At least,he.should give room for communication and help the lady improve on herself.Please poster,you need to spend time praying.Most men are under the influence of strange women.
DeleteThe fact that you’re still with him proves his right
ReplyDeleteA woman that doesn’t know her worth is unattractive Biko
Stella hit it good.
ReplyDeletePoster over to you.
Some men are scum
I suggest you have that conversation with him again.you need to understand what he really wants.Also,commit all to God in prayers.
ReplyDeletePlease follow Stella's advice and still pray
ReplyDeleteTake care of Yourself
ReplyDeleteLove yourself and don't allow anyone to guilt trap you
It’s the fact that the man is apologetically cheating and you’re there trying to find ways to make yourself attractive to him when you should be moving on.
ReplyDeleteNigerian women, dem use curse you because what kind of low self esteem is this ? Your husband is an asshole and not worth it !
Move on?
DeleteHow should she?
Ideas and suggestions please.
Don't mind these inexperienced single ladies here, advising her to move on - move on to where? After the sacrifices of years gone, children and may be a slow down of career.
DeleteDo not internalize his statement and start blaming yourself. Men will say anything when they are caught and to justify their actions. The fact that he never thought to sit you down and speak to you about the issue tells me he may be lying. He has not explained to you what he means and what it is about you that he finds unappealing, so he has put you in a place where the burden is on your shoulders to find out from him what the matter is. I don’t think this husband respects you one bit. And as for loving you…hmmmmm
ReplyDeleteHe is the only one who can answer your questions. Ask him if you care to find out. Listen to every word he speaks, as a matter of fact, record his words if you can. The words and tone he uses will tell you everything you need to know.
Poster follow Stella's advice,she said it all, infact, she hit the nail on the head.
ReplyDeleteThank you everyone.I feel better now
ReplyDeleteThe Poster
DIVORCE HIM straight away. This is why I like white people. No time to waste. Once you say you're not interested again. DIVORCE and look for another sane human being to marry.
ReplyDeleteYou know the funny thing, another man will look at you and find you beautiful and sexy. Such is life.
Just leave him. We attach our emotions too much to marriage to the extent we loose ourselves.
See your mouth like divorce him straight away! Mtscheeeeeeeew!!!
DeleteWhat a horseband!
ReplyDeleteThat one is an excuse. Just pay him no attention. Start living your best life..you would see him start looking for you again
ReplyDeleteLooking for who? With possible diseases and other rubbish?
DeletePoster, you need to give yourself love. Excess love.
ReplyDeleteWhat makes you happy? Discover your passion and channel your energy into it.
Dress very well. Like become a badie because you have the power..
You don't have to overcompensate for his cheating. It's not your fault.
Live for you and your children.
This may be coming in late. Ofcourse I have always made my position on cheating clear in this blog. I have never deviated from it. Cheating can never be excused for ANY reason. That said, let me play bit of devils advocate.
ReplyDeleteI seat with my friends from time to time. Most of us are married. A number do cheat. Some are hopeless cases. They will cheat without reason. I have cut those ones off. The few who have and genuinely seemed to regret it are the ones I've taken time to reach out to and counsel. Of course I have never told them that what I'm facing is far more grevious than what they are basing their cheating on. But yet i don't go around cheating. No one knows tommorow though, so let me not blow my trumpet.
CAN A CHEATING MAN BE HELPED?
For a number of women, they knew the man they married was a chronic cheat before they married him. The man may even have been cheating with her behind his main girlfriend then. These women already factored in the cheating constant before they went ahead and married the man. They don't like that the husband cheats but they've accepted it. These kind of women don't post chronicles but they are in the comment section of every cheating chronicle giving hard advices that they don't live by and can't dare try. My post is not for them. They are enablers.
So like I asked, can a cheating man be helped IF it WAS NOT a thing he was doing before you married him?
1. A man who was not cheating previously and started doing so suddenly, may actually be calling for help. Men, generally are very reticent in voicing out concerns. And some will rather bear the situation for a while instead of having it addressed. If there was a thing bothering him about the wife and he may have brought it up previously and the wife took his concern the wrong way, he may not bring that issue up again. When the opportunity arises, he may fall and find himself cheating.
I'll share an example. John (real name) is a staff of a federal university. He leaves for work early. The wife, a full time housewife, doesn't bother about his breakfast. She knows they are struggling so the husband can't really afford eating out. She doesn't care. That matter went on until a student in school, hearing that John mentioned he was hungry, went home, prepared food and brought to John. That began the start of their relationship. John is now considering marrying the lady as a second wife. Never allow another woman show your husband more care than you do.
2. Letting yourself go. Yes, childbirth changes womens bodies. That is a known fact. However, your husband had a spec when he married you. He may have probably voiced out his concern and you ignored it. Yes, I know that in this tasking economy, staying in shape really isn't a priority for most women. A change in spec certainly isn't what a number of men bargain for. A mans sexual needs are very primal. Prick no get sense o! Anything that makes you become less attractive to your spouse should be avoided.
3. Any woman that respects your husband more than you do, can snatch your man. I don't think this one needs to be explained. Respect is oxygen for a man just the way that love and affectional affirmation is oxygen for a woman. Some men, rather than confront your disrespect, will rather get it outside.
When you have everything a man should desire and your man still cheats outside, it is best you first do an internal check.
I can say this for a fact. No woman is more deliberate, intentional and submissive than a woman who wants to steal a man.
I'll say it again, this post is for women who can't understand why a man who initially wasn't cheating starts cheating. If you knew he was a cheat before you married him, you are an enabler and you don't have a case.
Nice advice, but all these also applies to a man as well.
DeleteJohn has a job as a lecturer he gets paid yet could not selfishly assign some change and keep it aside for himself secretly to sort out his stomach every morning since he already knew he married a selfish wife.
He could not buy biscuit and soft drink or bread and drink water or even enter the kitchen to cook when he is not paralysed. Suddenly Mr broke Man that could not feed now has the money to marry a second wife.
According to this your example this poster is supposed to be having sex outside by now with one of her admirers because her husband pushed her out the same way you believe your friends wife pushed him out after all her husband is in the shoe of MR lecturer's wife while she is in the shoe of Mr lecturer.
Her husband lack of love and sex towards her would push her into the arms of another man and it is justified right? Since he is not sleeping with her you understand that she may meet a young blood just like your friend met a willing chef who will be willing to seduce her and she falls for it. But why hasn't poster cheated? Your friend is just a weak human.
2. Everytime people talk about women letting themselves go don't men let themselves go right? so every woman married to who men who has let themselves go (ie. big pot belly, bad toilet hygiene we read it here everydaypoop on boxers, won't flush after number 2.. i can even send you the link and you will shiver. They won't bath after coming back from work yet want sex with a smelly and stinking body, bushy armpits and body odour) deserves to cheat or you would understand if they cheat outside right?
3. Any man that treats your wife better than you can get her too. Women are moved by love, care and loves attention. The poster said Men outside are giving her that, they find her extremely appealing yet the one at home treats her like she stinks, do you know what her husband's action could lead to yet you can tell she is faithful judging from her post else she wouldn't care if her husband exists or not. If we are to judge by these your assertions you won't fault her if you hears she cheats right?
If most of the married ladies experiencing all these hasn't cheated despite the ill-treatment of their men, dirty lifestyle and unattractive looks then I am sorry i see no reason why a man would think he has an excuse except he is weak.
I read what you wrote about yourself a few days back and why haven't you cheated? Because you are not a cheat, it is not in your blood. Someone was rude and called you a derogatory name because by default they expected you to cheat but was shocked you have morals. But i doubt that same person has come here to insult this woman.
There are one million reasons and there will be more in a marriage why a man or woman should cheat and it is never justified when they can leave if they know they weak and liable to cheat.
Words on Marble.
Poster Stella Posted this some days back. Hope it helps you
ReplyDeleteMe and my wife separated not divorced.
I only told her I need break.
Took her to her family house.
My wife because she is working left the family house and started staying elsewhere.
She continued with her activities as if nothing happened between us.
My wife made it a duty to be entering gym
🏋🏽♀️🤸🏾♂️🧘🏽♀️
every Saturday and will be posting pictures and videos from the activities there on Saturday.
Sundays after church, she takes the kids to eatery and when I called my boy to ask if she used to ask after me, he said not even once.
I bought my boy phone and I always ask him questions.
This morning she posted pictures of her sitting in her office without ring.
A married woman‼️
I messaged her immediately that is she divorced now and she said nothing to me.
I think my wife is now seeing another man.
Believe me when I say my wife can not stay a day without hearing from me before, when we were together but now she never cares.
🙆🏽♂️
I posted someone’s birthday, not my girlfriend and I captioned it “love of my life” to get a reaction from her but my wife did not react; I had to delete and apologize to the public that my phone was hacked.
Something is fishy, I don't just know what that is.
Me: What I will say to you is Love yourself, focus on making yourself better, face your kids and business and totally ignore.him. Pray to God to give you the grace to face your front.
Poster follow this funny man advice and pray for him, he could be under the spell of another woman, because he has money now and you know that the country is hard.
DeleteStella has said it all
ReplyDeletePls focus on your business and your well being and do not forget that your kids needs you. Do not be frustrated .
ReplyDeleteAnd be sexually frustrated till her husband pity her small and decides to look at her side. Some of these Nigerian marriages, nawa.
DeleteEverytime face your business and kids meanwhile she is not married to her business and her kids.
Baboni, this was what someone i know did. The husband did not touch her for one year. When I saw this post i thought she was the one who sent it in but the scenarios seem different so she may not be the one. The man came home last week and told her he is relocating abroad before Christmas. She started panicking calling everyone. family and friends.
Life, Marriages does not have to be hard, Nah. Why let a mere human decide the course of your life? Kate winslet and so many others are happily married to another husband but some women would just turn themselves, to another furniture int he house for the man waiting and hoping for him to look their side. Why give another person so much power over the course of your life.
Words on Marble.
Not every man will be grateful,loyal like obi cubanna not minding that he is rich he still flaunts his wife and kids I'm just using him as an eg , my friend was in this shoe years back she said then she used to pray that they will go back to where they were before being average that it's the mum that told her God forbid, it's her right to enjoy the money they worked together and she should endure that her kids get the best out of everything, she swung into action not literally to please the man she said she followed better pages on insta and influencers , she changed her wardrobe bought high heel shoes, learn how to clean herself by going to spa ,make up wig installation that she was feeling so young at heart , she attended business seminar met money minded people that her husband doesn't send her will she kill herself.she made money moves for herself in case if there is divorce tomorrow she invested in stocks,and this bank standard IBTC was her get to go bank on money decisions
ReplyDeleteShe said she felt whole like what is this so a man doesn't find me attractive I should kill myself,people like ini Edo ,Jude onye wife and Anita okoye e always admire how good they look.she said I can't kill myself they are living like roommates, sometimes if the man makes sex moves she will bang and enjoy herself and face front like nothing happened ,she said it's working for her, that you see that money the MN is giving sidechicks aoutside she is collecting her own by billing , she upgrades her children's school ,she enrolled her kids in school learning programs like coding ,they go for learning vacation vacation , she said no be my sweat they ll be using to service sidehens
Na God will help marriages madam learn from here and know the best you can do upgrade yourself as in go for cacilas ,change beauty routine ,change wardrobe, improve house aesthetics like decorations,put diffusers,improve yourself ,go out with friends look good for yourself,make your hair ,wigs , incorporate girly wardrobe like shorts and singlets, shirts and polo with sneakers, gowns with heel, feel good
Don't kill yourself because you want to please him,look good because you deserve it ,walk with confidence, be interactive with social network, contribute and go for business seminar once one of your child compliments you know that you re on the right track
You see, I don't jump into conclusions anymore!
ReplyDeleteI was wondering how my neighbor's husband take dey sleep with her with all the dirtiness.
Just because you have given birth to 3 children, you now turned yourself to a pig?
Madam go come meet you say she just dey come out from bathroom, but na her body odour don cover everywhere.🤢
Oga don kukuma run.🥴
Lol once a woman loses a part of her self for family sake the man starts cheating but if a man loses his money and the woman starts cheating dante will start crying 😭
ReplyDelete