Pastor Olumide Emmanuel, Founder of Calvary Bible Church,has revealed reasons his first marriage crashed and says he has not seen the two children they birthed together since 2006, when his estranged wife moved out of the house.
He also gave insights into how top church leaders including Dr Daniel Olukoya and Bishop David Oyedepo tried to save the marriage but could not.
Pastor Emmanuel shared his experience with Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo in a recent video chat on YouTube
The Background
It will be recalled that Pastor Emmanuel was first married to Ify. The marriage which produced two children hit the rock around 2005.
The incident generated so much media debate. Many Christians were taken aback wondering what could have led to the collapse of the relationship between the love birds.
Olumide Emmanuel has been a pastor since he was 21. As of 1992, he was secretary of the Morris Cerrulo Missions in Nigeria and was very involved in the book-selling business long before his marriage.
He married Ify, a fervent Christian and owner of popular gospel stores in Opebi, Lagos in 1997 at the age of 27. The marriage took place at the Mountain of Fire and Miracles Ministries.
He first got to know his former wife in the course of doing business. “She was my business partner and friend. But later I proposed to her,” he said in the interview.
I was the third man she would marry
Pastor Emmanuel got the first shock of his life when the woman said to him during their courtship that she had had two previous marriage relationships that failed. Ironically, she was still a virgin by the time she met Pastor Emmanuel because she did not have sex with the first two men she married.
“She explained to me that the first man she married could not perform. She later discovered that the man was having an affair with her chief bridesmaid.” Pastor Emmanuel said.
She had to dissolve the marriage.
The second marriage according to Pastor Emmanuel also did not work because the man was giving her some rules and regulations like wanting to have sex before marriage and asking her to close her business in Nigeria. Though they had done the traditional wedding, she could not go ahead with the marriage
He recalled, ‘I remember she said she was going to the UK to marry and later we found out that the marriage did not hold. I knew about the second case.”
In the two instances, Pastor Emmanuel did not see any reason to blame her. So, it was not difficult for him to go ahead with the relationship.
But then there were certain red flags during courtship and even on the day of the marriage.
Visit to Pastor Daniel Olukoya
Emmanuel recalled an incident where they both went to see Pastor Olukoya since he was Ify’s father in the Lord. Before they got to Olukoya, she had given him certain dos and don’ts. But by the time they got to Olukoya, Pastor Emmanuel said he was his usual jovial self.
He said he was so relaxed with Pastor Olukoya seeing the simplicity of the man of God. He chatted with him as if they had known themselves for a long time. Unknown to him, his to-be wife was not comfortable with that kind of familiarity.
On their way home, she barred her fangs and expressed disgust at Emmanuel’s behaviour during the visit pointing out how arrogant and self-conceited he was.
There was a hot argument on their way home. Some tantrums were thrown at Emmanuel which made him decide to call off the relationship. “But she came to plead later with her family. When she went to Church that Sunday, she went to Dr. Olukoya after service and told him what happened. Pastor Olukoya told her, if you miss that man, you are gone. All those things she was fighting me for were what Pastor Olukoya used to validate me.”
Pastor Olukoya prayed with her and said I would walk back to the relationship. And that is what happened. “I walked back to the relationship.”
Divorce was traumatic
Emmanuel who said the divorce had caused him a lot of trauma and made him lose relationships said he realised his ex-wife was
in the prison of her past. “I realised that her experiences before our marriage had damaged her and she needed to be healed. But she was not healed. I knew what to do. But she was carried away by religion.”
He went ahead with the marriage only to discover that the abuse he had suffered during the courtship grew worse.
He recalled that she walked out on his parents on the day of the wedding. “After the wedding, she went to greet my mother in the family house. As she was coming, my mother and other family members tried to welcome her saying our wife has come.
“She flipped when she heard our wife and said I am not your wife I am my husband’s wife and that she does not want to be seen as the wife of all; in the traditional setting arrangement. Before everybody, she turned around and left. I followed her. That was the beginning of the marriage.”
Ex-wife was prayer warrior
Emmanuel said the marriage was to be later a combination of all kinds of stuff for about 10 years.
Ironically, his ex-wife according to him was a prayer machine. “I have not been able to reach her level of prayers. She prays an average of three hours every night.
But the prayers, according to Emmanuel, did not change her. “It was more of the fall down and die prayer. And I used to tell her that “prayer should change you first”. But she was not experiencing that change. It was a major battle. The abuse at home was heavy, physical abuse was there.”
He said his ex-wife slapped him at least six times in the nine years of the marriage.
While declaring that he never lifted a hand against her, he said, “I never abandoned her. She left the house one day and was gone. We did all kinds of things to save the marriage. I did my part. We had sessions with Dr. Olukoya, and Bishop Oyedepo but all to no avail”
He said his wife eventually parked out of the house in 2006. Since she moved out of the house Pastor Emmanuel says he has not set his eyes on his two children.
Life of a divorcee
“I got back home and everything was empty including my freezer. I never had an accident while driving until that time. I have been a Christian all my life. I was into singles and married programmes and this happened to me. I had to go for therapy.”
He said the life of a divorcee is horrible recalling how he had to cook two dericas of rice only to realise he was the only one at home.
“I recall that one day my daughter came home and said don’t mind mummy she does not know what she is doing. That same daughter I have not set my eyes on for years. If I see her now, I may not be able to recognise her. I laboured for my children. I don’t know where they are now.”
Dr. Emmanuel who said he was the one who filed for divorce to bring closure to the marriage remarried his wife’s secretary 7 years after the incident. The new marriage is blessed with one child.
He also gave insights into how top church leaders including Dr Daniel Olukoya and Bishop David Oyedepo tried to save the marriage but could not.
Pastor Emmanuel shared his experience with Pastor Kingsley Okonkwo in a recent video chat on YouTube
The Background
It will be recalled that Pastor Emmanuel was first married to Ify. The marriage which produced two children hit the rock around 2005.
The incident generated so much media debate. Many Christians were taken aback wondering what could have led to the collapse of the relationship between the love birds.
Olumide Emmanuel has been a pastor since he was 21. As of 1992, he was secretary of the Morris Cerrulo Missions in Nigeria and was very involved in the book-selling business long before his marriage.
He married Ify, a fervent Christian and owner of popular gospel stores in Opebi, Lagos in 1997 at the age of 27. The marriage took place at the Mountain of Fire and Miracles Ministries.
He first got to know his former wife in the course of doing business. “She was my business partner and friend. But later I proposed to her,” he said in the interview.
I was the third man she would marry
Pastor Emmanuel got the first shock of his life when the woman said to him during their courtship that she had had two previous marriage relationships that failed. Ironically, she was still a virgin by the time she met Pastor Emmanuel because she did not have sex with the first two men she married.
“She explained to me that the first man she married could not perform. She later discovered that the man was having an affair with her chief bridesmaid.” Pastor Emmanuel said.
She had to dissolve the marriage.
The second marriage according to Pastor Emmanuel also did not work because the man was giving her some rules and regulations like wanting to have sex before marriage and asking her to close her business in Nigeria. Though they had done the traditional wedding, she could not go ahead with the marriage
He recalled, ‘I remember she said she was going to the UK to marry and later we found out that the marriage did not hold. I knew about the second case.”
In the two instances, Pastor Emmanuel did not see any reason to blame her. So, it was not difficult for him to go ahead with the relationship.
But then there were certain red flags during courtship and even on the day of the marriage.
Visit to Pastor Daniel Olukoya
Emmanuel recalled an incident where they both went to see Pastor Olukoya since he was Ify’s father in the Lord. Before they got to Olukoya, she had given him certain dos and don’ts. But by the time they got to Olukoya, Pastor Emmanuel said he was his usual jovial self.
He said he was so relaxed with Pastor Olukoya seeing the simplicity of the man of God. He chatted with him as if they had known themselves for a long time. Unknown to him, his to-be wife was not comfortable with that kind of familiarity.
On their way home, she barred her fangs and expressed disgust at Emmanuel’s behaviour during the visit pointing out how arrogant and self-conceited he was.
There was a hot argument on their way home. Some tantrums were thrown at Emmanuel which made him decide to call off the relationship. “But she came to plead later with her family. When she went to Church that Sunday, she went to Dr. Olukoya after service and told him what happened. Pastor Olukoya told her, if you miss that man, you are gone. All those things she was fighting me for were what Pastor Olukoya used to validate me.”
Pastor Olukoya prayed with her and said I would walk back to the relationship. And that is what happened. “I walked back to the relationship.”
Divorce was traumatic
Emmanuel who said the divorce had caused him a lot of trauma and made him lose relationships said he realised his ex-wife was
in the prison of her past. “I realised that her experiences before our marriage had damaged her and she needed to be healed. But she was not healed. I knew what to do. But she was carried away by religion.”
He went ahead with the marriage only to discover that the abuse he had suffered during the courtship grew worse.
He recalled that she walked out on his parents on the day of the wedding. “After the wedding, she went to greet my mother in the family house. As she was coming, my mother and other family members tried to welcome her saying our wife has come.
“She flipped when she heard our wife and said I am not your wife I am my husband’s wife and that she does not want to be seen as the wife of all; in the traditional setting arrangement. Before everybody, she turned around and left. I followed her. That was the beginning of the marriage.”
Ex-wife was prayer warrior
Emmanuel said the marriage was to be later a combination of all kinds of stuff for about 10 years.
Ironically, his ex-wife according to him was a prayer machine. “I have not been able to reach her level of prayers. She prays an average of three hours every night.
But the prayers, according to Emmanuel, did not change her. “It was more of the fall down and die prayer. And I used to tell her that “prayer should change you first”. But she was not experiencing that change. It was a major battle. The abuse at home was heavy, physical abuse was there.”
He said his ex-wife slapped him at least six times in the nine years of the marriage.
While declaring that he never lifted a hand against her, he said, “I never abandoned her. She left the house one day and was gone. We did all kinds of things to save the marriage. I did my part. We had sessions with Dr. Olukoya, and Bishop Oyedepo but all to no avail”
He said his wife eventually parked out of the house in 2006. Since she moved out of the house Pastor Emmanuel says he has not set his eyes on his two children.
Life of a divorcee
“I got back home and everything was empty including my freezer. I never had an accident while driving until that time. I have been a Christian all my life. I was into singles and married programmes and this happened to me. I had to go for therapy.”
He said the life of a divorcee is horrible recalling how he had to cook two dericas of rice only to realise he was the only one at home.
“I recall that one day my daughter came home and said don’t mind mummy she does not know what she is doing. That same daughter I have not set my eyes on for years. If I see her now, I may not be able to recognise her. I laboured for my children. I don’t know where they are now.”
Dr. Emmanuel who said he was the one who filed for divorce to bring closure to the marriage remarried his wife’s secretary 7 years after the incident. The new marriage is blessed with one child.
I just watched this issue about Olumide Emmanuel on TVC your view talking about divorce and issues in their marriage. Na God go help marriages oooo
ReplyDeleteHe says every single red flag and chose the American citizenship and deep pockets.
DeleteSay anything about this woman he went out of his way to paint as gory: she was no pretender.
He knows where his adult children are and would be in their lives if he wanted to.
These are the people who make life hard for you with a million and one rules and then the moment the that end of the gum is turned on them, there is suddenly a special grace, an celestial exemption.
Blessed in the servant who applies wisdom. Everyone's God is a reflection of everyone's heart towards themselves and others.
The moment he reconciles with his children or they with him, another ministry subspecialty done open be that.
May both sides of this former marriage continue to enjoy God's grace.
wow..... what a story
ReplyDeletei could feel his sadness and pain as i read through...
He needs to see his kids
No words
ReplyDeleteGifty
Iro
ReplyDeleteBig one for that matter.🤣🤣
DeleteTell us the true story.
DeleteEven me reading this is traumatised
ReplyDeleteI would like to hear madam's side of the story sha. The story was storying until I saw that Oga married madam's secretary after "700" years. If your wife was gone, who was she secretarying for that made her stay for an extra 7 years? Abi, you found another designation for her within the ministry so she doesn't lose her source of livelihood ni?
ReplyDeleteNa madam fit complete this jigsaw puzzle. As dem gag Pastor Anita with NDA wey she nor fit talk her talk, make dem allow us hear madam Ify own abeg. Pastors are not angels and people need to learn from their mistakes and stories as well. Woman that you married in yam and corn (according to Yoruba people) disappeared with your children and nobody in her family has been able to help you with info on their whereabouts? Abi na akudaya you marry ni? Is there even proof of life to begin with?
You see why I can never crucify men like Dotun and Churchhill patapata who will always refer to and post about their child(ren) with an ex at any opportunity no matter how kwezi they are. Hian!
Lol
DeleteAmebo na real work
I didn't know Pst Anita had NDA O.
Anyway, may we not be victims of our past ( negative upbringing, "religion " , culture, etc)
Many Nigerians are traumatized and have a
Form of mental health wahala.
This is why many families and marriages fail.
Pst Olumide, only God knows why you have decided to open up now after all these years. I pray that God heals all the parties involved. Make we no just read gist. We should also learn from his story and commit our homes and marriages to the Lord.
She has an NDA. I really feel bad for that woman and how she was almost forgotten by that church. I know more about her post-marital life, but won't say because I fear God.
DeleteHe married his wife's secretary. All I needed to hear
DeleteHmmmm,na waoooo,this one shock me,so you can't contact any of her family members cos of ur kids,you just kept kwaiet likdat
ReplyDeleteNot what I heard
ReplyDeletePastor Pastor! How come you still went to marry her secretary? As per not seeing your kids since 2006, that's terrible. Marriage matter time jare! There are no super couples, na grace hold all of us.
ReplyDeleteHe married his secretary. You people don’t read or don’t know the difference between his and hers?
DeleteHe married HIS wife's secretary.
DeleteHER secretary
DeleteWhen it comes to couple or marital issues, never make your conclusions after hearing one side of the story.
ReplyDeleteThere go our comments on chronicles on marital challenges into the T-bag.
DeleteAnyway, even in chronicles, we always want to hear the other side on Men's chronicles.
Na woman get marriage. So a woman is rarely at fault in a broken marriage. And those rare occassion are when the husband is our son, a beloved brother, or a beloved male relative - Uncle, cousin, or nephew, etc.
Leaving the genderists behind, there is no guilty or innocent party in a broken marriage. The guilt and innocence is only a matter of degrees. We have seen it here that even the good intentioned act of one spouse can be the activator of the wickedness of the other spouse. In such case who is guilty and who is innocent?
You've said nothing but the truth
DeleteUntil I hear the Ex-wife's part before I judge.
ReplyDeleteHonestly,it is well!
ReplyDeleteHe ended with his former wife's secretary. Hmmmmmmmn. Westin I sabi send.
ReplyDeleteLet the wife version drop then we will know where to chook mouth from!
ReplyDeleteWhy are you wanting to chook mouth? Must your mouth chook? Is your name chookwuka?
DeleteSo no attempt in seeing your own children?
ReplyDeleteThat alone actually says a lot about your person.🚶🏼♀️🚶🏼♀️🚶🏼♀️
I will need to hear from the ex-wife before i say anything.
ReplyDeleteCongratulations to both of you
ReplyDeleteThe most complex B
Story to learn from. But let's hear from the ex-wife first.
ReplyDeleteSoon or near,the kids will ask of their father
ReplyDeleteFor what exactly?
DeleteFor what?
Loll.
Dey play.
You must think we are in the vilkage setting of your youth in 1923.
Not necessarily.
DeleteThe kids are grown bye now so why are they still not reaching out to their papa??? Hmmm only God knows what really happened:
ReplyDeleteHe forgot to mention his efforts as a father, currently and in the past, to see his children. Even the"carnal" ones fight and are still on it. For a man who claims to hear from God to be sitting, waiting for his children to come and look for him as deduced from this, says something. To end up with his wife's secretary, says a lot.
ReplyDeleteI do not believe him. First wife left after a few years or so. No lamenting about the children. Then he married second wife a so called business partner and "friend". I stopped believing him after that. Now he is remarried to his ex wife's secretary!! He needs to check himself.
ReplyDeleteBut, the story said married at 27, abi he was married before then as well too?
DeleteAnon 14:49 , you're the one who needs to read well "Dr. Emmanuel who said he was the one who filed for divorce to bring closure to the marriage remarried his wife’s secretary 7 years after the incident". Vicky Posh please explain the grammar to her.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm!!
ReplyDelete🤔🤔🤔
ReplyDelete"She explained to me that the first man she married could not perform. She later discovered that the man was having an affair with her chief bridesmaid."
ReplyDeleteSo how was he 'performing ' with the Chief Bridesmaid????
Probably couldn’t perform because he was in love with someone else. Just guessing.
DeleteGod bless you.
DeleteOkay.
ReplyDeleteBut has it occurred to him that his wife may have a mental illness?
Someone that was already scoping the wife's secretary.
Delete