Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Monday, February 26, 2024

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

 Hmmm....



STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
THE SISTER

My sister hardly picks my calls, if I message her she'll tell me she'll call me back, and she may never call back for days. I've never asked her for a dime since I gave birth and call her to please help with some bills and she told me she only got 5k in her account and that was like 6 years ago, since then I only call to greet her, this is someone that works in a multinational company as a top manager, goes on vacation with first-class every year...

My question is should I stop calling her? Though whenever she calls we always gist and laugh for almost an hour, but I feel as if she doesn't rate me as a sister.

 I met someone working in her office sometime ago, the man said I can't be her sister and be in this level, that my sister can easily help me get job anywhere that she sits with governors and top people for business, that she's very rich and can even set me up for business.
The man was just shaking head that how can I be in this position and I said I'm madams sister. 
I don't disturb her at all neither do I ask for anything, though she sometimes send me things without me asking, atleast in a year I may get like 50-100k not at once o,like 20 here and there without asking. 
Should I confront her or just stop calling her entirely and face what life has for me


You are asking if you should confront your sister because she didnt give you her hard earned money? And then you sat or stood with someone to gossip about your sister? You listened to the whole jabajantis?You better pray that the man does not go back to tell your sister that you gossiped her with him ......
You said you asked her for help last years back, so ho is she supposed to know if you need help ir not? You dont sound like you have seen her in years!
Please send her a long well worded message asking for help and respect her decision if she says that she does not have ...Some people are like this but it doesnt mean that they love you less...
While you are at it, please try to get rid of your entitlement mentality. 

104 comments:

  1. Hmmmmmm I understand your pain poster and i pray that God elevate you soonest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Na wa oo for u Stella. Why shouldn't she help her sister. THANKYOU

      Delete
    2. I can assure you that the sister is mad that her sister who's not even in her level has married and had a child. It's subtle competition and subtle jealousy. The only thing she has above you is money. And she will make sure you don't get that money. This is case of sibling rivalry, if you have a loving and caring sister in this life. Just be grateful cos the same sex sibling rivalry is prevalent in this world. Especially if the younger one gets married before the older one, or the younger one travels abroad before the older one, etc. There will be like a silent beef lingering over the older one's head and the younger one will be wanting love and acceptance but for wia. I wil advice you free her and live your own life. Dont even text again. Just ignore.

      Delete
    3. It's not all siblings that have this rivalry ish. I am like the eldest in my family and almost all my younger ones are married with kids. And if you look at it am doing well more than all of them financially, but they all have cars , married with children and they still come to me for help and I help them. I love all my nieces and nephews to bits, I have landed properties and I earn more than them. I don't have a car and not that I can't afford it, I am not a car freak, even in my office most of my junior colleagues have cars and I don't envy them, life is too short to be envying and competing with people and I also believe that everyone have their destiny. Right now my immediate younger one is so worried about me in respect to getting married. I can go to any learnt to help any of my siblings whether married or not. And I have also learnt to live each day as it comes. No time for siblings rivalry abeg.

      Delete
    4. Before calculating how much your sister spends on first class, tell us how many kids you have first. Some people go dey born pikin every year instead of focusing on financial stability and then start calculating someone else's lifestyle. You get up to 100k from her per year but that isn't enough for you. If you want a job, ask her for a job. You seem to be more interested in her funding your lifestyle even if it means giving up hers. Are you not selfish?

      After the man shared in your gossip and shook his head, how much did he give you? Did he offer you any job or inform you of an opening? He will carry the gist back to the office and they will mock your sister with the conversation and information you armed him with. Abegi. Enemies within.

      Delete
    5. It's true that no one owes us anything but how do you see your siblings struggling with something you can easily help with but turn a blind eye to it? Like how then do you express your love for them?
      Your sister is not a nice person, maybe she's one of those who want to be the only rich and important one in the family.
      Some people are only okay with being with you so long as you are beneath them, they start getting riled up and will do all within their power to make sure you don't measure up to them.
      Anyway, just mind your business and do all within your power to make something good out of your life, just assume you don't have her in your life.

      Delete
    6. Anonymous 20:56, your type are rare. God bless you and send a good man your way. I have one elder sister that is full of jealousy for me and I never blow so I wonder where the jealousy is coming from. She use every little opportunity to speak bad of me.

      Delete
    7. Be sending prayer messages to your sister every morning and once in 2 months, ask of help. Don't confront her
      Mao Akuh

      Delete
    8. Be sending prayer messages to your sister every morning and once in 2 months, ask of help. Don't confront her
      Mao Akuh

      Delete
    9. Just reading this chronicle and I believe the info is incomplete. The BV is not providing full info and I will justify that with my experience. I am male and I fully sponsored my younger sister in the university and just before NYSC, she came to me that she wants to get married - so soon? To who? Her school boyfriend. How? Why? I found out she was pregnant. No wahala - I sponsored the wedding ceremonies cos the couple are young. Got them jobs after NYSC but alas, they resigned from the jobs and said they wanted to do business. No wahala! I knew that was the end for me, concerning them. Mind you, they started popping out kids yearly like rabbits. In this country, you want to do business compared to stable jobs in financial institutions with relatively good salaries but some job stress, no doubt. Two years down the line, their business has collapsed with 4 kids to feed. I recently got a message from them requesting for financial support to re-kick their business. I just ignored it and will continue to ignore it. Very stupid and entitled couple. Infact, I later got to know that the lazy young man hurried her into marriage believing that he has met a comfortable in-law. And the naive and gullible sister agreed. There was nothing we didn't say or advise to dissuade her from getting married that early but she stubbornly refused. So will anyone blame me from not giving them financial support now? I have my 3kids in the university now and I am close to retirement. Nonsense and ingredient

      Delete
  2. No one owes you anything. Not even when they are your blood. To think otherwise is the fastest way to frustration.
    It is laziness to express desires on someone's money simply because they are related to you. It doesn't matter how related you are. No one owes you a duty to part with his/her money. If at all they must help, let it be of their freewill.

    So OP comot eyes from your sister money. She probably doesn't pick your calls because this sense of entitlement you have.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. The way una dey yarn ehn, someone blood sister is in money and connections and you say she owe her blood sister nothing. If she feel sick now you will still tell the sister it’s her responsibility to take care of her sister. If anything happen to the sister leaving her kid/kids behind, is it not poster’s responsibility to take care the child/children?
      Stella you help even the people you don’t know so her sister is supposed to help her stand.
      Poster if I’m you I will ask for her help to establish me, be it business or job for the last time but if she refuse I WILL CUT HER OFF.

      Fan Emmanuel

      Delete
    2. Lol. You have to lose that sense of entitlement now. Her sister sounds lovely. Maybe lacking a bit in communications depth but still...

      I have mapped out my financial longterm plan. None of that involves my siblings. They are struggling and doing well for themselves

      Delete
  3. This, is a real chronicle.
    Poster, do you have other siblings? Is she like this to them? What about parents,? If she treats everyone else like this then just let her be.
    Pray for God to open doors of favor to you so you don't be counting her blessings and feeling that she's not doing enough to help you.

    ReplyDelete
  4. She gives you money na.
    Leave things as they are.
    Pray and work hard.God will bless you too.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think the sister doesn't wanna help her. She must not be giving her money every time,but if she has connections,she should fix her up so that she can be self sufficient.

      Delete
  5. Stella I think. You got it wrong..she's asking for a relationship..not money..she's not even entitled.

    Bv Ushang

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don't mind stella

      Delete
    2. @15:15
      She wrote about sisterly relationship that includes benefiting from her sister's "madam" status - "The man was just shaking head that how can I be in this position and I said I'm madams sister".

      She wrote in the style chronicles are written here to usually evoke the response Posters' want to hear and, sometimes, to provoke gender blames / name calling / shaming.

      Delete
    3. Thank you very much for this statement @anon15:15. Stella, this girl is asking for a relationship with her sister, and I don't think that is too much to ask. You just trashed her pain with your blue pen. That's not ok. Although she mentioned other things, but her real pain is the relationship part.

      Delete
  6. Because she is your sister she must take the place of God abi ?pls leave her alone just take Stella advice

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. God abeg ooo
      Any sibling that will be in money and connections but allow me suffer God no let me have that kind of sibling.

      Fan Emmanuel

      Delete
    2. Fan Emmanuel, do tou know what she goes through to make his/her money???
      Stop your entitlement attitude. The person is your sibling not your bank or provider. You have hands and brains too!!!

      Delete
  7. Money/riches that I will have and people will see my "hardworking" siblings then question if they are ever related to me cos of how poor they are or look;God shouldn't give it to me...

    Whether she asks or not;if you are truly in a position as a manager or anything to help your siblings with a job and you didn't;then I don't know the kind of bonding you share as siblings that such love and care is missing..

    It's not entitlement for me;it's just what siblings should do for each other so long as truly they aren't lazy and ready to work..

    Why do I have to wait for my sibling to beg me for money,when I can give them a job?

    At the end of the day;your family,friends and even enemies will only remember you for your kindness in life..

    Don't stop calling her;keep showing love and learn to live with less expectations from humans in general;if help comes;fine..if not;God got you🀝

    #Cheers

    @MARTINS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Martins,

      Well done πŸ‘

      Delete
    2. Pls watch what you pray for..no matter what you do for some siblings or family members,it will not show especially if they are always squandering it because they know they will get more. Be very careful what you pray for.

      Delete
    3. I can never stop thanking God cuz i have i great support system, i and my siblings love ourselves die, always checking and helping each other.

      So i will be in a position to help my sibling but will forming ogaranya? If i have that kind of sibling eh, if i call them to ask for anything make i bend, i get shame abeg.

      I talk to my sister in law everyday, ofoduzialu my blood sister, my sis that calls me at anytime even my husband is jealous.

      This sort of chronicles makes me always grateful for what i have.

      Gifty

      Delete
    4. πŸ‘πŸ‘.. siblings are suppose to help and uplift each other. I dont understand this entitlement crap that some people are talking about, its very unafrican. Even the white man says charity begins at home.
      ..

      Delete
    5. πŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘ŒπŸ‘Œ

      Delete
    6. You are one smart dude. She is not entitled. If i am in a position to help my siblings, why wait for them to ask?

      Delete
    7. Thank you martins for this comment, contrary to popular belief, as siblings we owe each other things, maybe not everything but calling back when you promise to call back is one of it and even monetary help is part of it. I'll advise you let her be for now and if she has a little bit of sense she will realise that she needs to mend some fences with you. God will definitely make your own way straight soon in Jesus name Amen

      Delete
    8. ChIka (hello iya boys)26 February 2024 at 16:41

      Thanks boss
      πŸ’―πŸ’―πŸ’―
      Cheers

      Delete
    9. Well said ...
      I don't know how u have what it takes to help ur siblings and not do it.. That's wrong

      Delete
    10. Anonymous 16:07 did we read the same chronicle? Where is it written that poster squandered her sister’s money? Una go just find means dey justify wickedness

      Fan Emmanuel

      Delete
    11. If you're favored to be rich, please help as much as you can, family, friends, kinsmen etc are very important, no one is an island, help if you can.

      Stella she is not feeling entitled, she is just wondering why her sister is not bonding enough with her but from the write up people , people with that kind of position are busy to the extreme, they hardly have time to sleep, she probably doesn't have her own family so she puts all her time into her Job. Poster have you tried to find out how life is for your sister, is she married? If she is not can you suggest match making a good man for her but be careful not to mention how financially ok she is, you too should realise your sister may need help and have needs which may be delayed, money is not the only thing that completes life, you can even suggest helping her with cooking or washing if you don't work and jokingly tell her she will pay you. She may be too busy to remember you need help, many of these career lady loose it all for money, they work so hard that in the end most end up frustrated even with all the money. So think of ways of helping her too and see how it goes.

      Delete
    12. Seconded by me.... You have said it all.

      Delete
  8. Sister, brother or not, One should always have the mentality that one came to this life alone and will leave this life alone...never, ever expect help from any human..because they will disappoint you a thousand times over.
    @ Poster, help yourself, look up to God and not your sister, She is not your God...she owes you nothing!

    ReplyDelete
  9. Even though I hate entitlement mentality..

    It's a different kind of wickedness to be 'stinkingly' rich but can't put your siblings on.. that selfishness and stingyness is on another level.

    Asin, what are you proud of, that you're the only rich person in your family? You will be doing giveaway to outsiders but your brother never chop since yesterday.. SMH..

    I'm not swearing for your sis, but you see that money she doesn't want to spend doing good, she might end up spending it solving problems.. sickness and the likes..

    There is something called spiritual banking,. The more good you deposit, the greater good you withdraw, and vice versa

    ReplyDelete
  10. Lady T /worth more than a thousand dollars26 February 2024 at 15:33

    Hello Poster, some siblings do not help whether or not you ask. And that's fine. They don't really owe you. Your sister doesn't really owe you anything. If her disposition was better than this then it will be nice to ask her for help.
    You see me, i have younger ones, i would rather comfortably ask my friends for help than ask my sister who has.
    I call to check on them and that's fine and I leave it there.

    Build your community of friends outside your family.
    Leave your Sister alone. You can try asking her for help if you don't get it don't be offended.

    Some people find it more convenient to help outsiders than family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This was how my uncle used to be and is still is, he preferred to help outsiders and hardly helped family, years later he sent his son to come to Abuja and begged me to help him with his school, I picked the boy up from the park and checked him into a hotel, I paid for one night and asked him to send more money for his son's hotel bills, he was shocked, the son kept asking why he can't come to my house and I told him I learnt how to deal with family from his dad, the man shock. I only reach out to my other kind family members.

      Delete
    2. I like this,make e feel am small .they don't know that tomorrow is pregnant.

      Delete
  11. I can do anything within my power for my siblings and they can also do same for me.

    There are actually people like your sis, that can afford to help their siblings but would not for reasons best known to them, i am sorry you fall in this category.

    You have to learn to overlook this aspect of hers, just face your front and trust God to always come through for you

    Gifty

    ReplyDelete
  12. you have entitlement mentality on top money that you did not work for your sister. You have your own money, has she ever have the same entitlement mentality on your own money? She is your sister and work in a multinational company lol do not conclude on your sister like that when you are not sure about her bank account. She may be going through alot at the moment but no one knows and you feel she has plenty of money but cannot assist you.

    You asked her for assistance some years back, is possible at that moment she was having it rough. Why don't you speak with her about all your fears and be on a clean page. You are already thinking bad about your sister without making your findings. That her colleague who told you how much your sister have, i guess he is her account officer or nope that person is the one that receive bank credit/debit alert for your sister.

    Have you ever ask your sister to get you a job? Is possible you have made some statement in the past that i cannot work for someone, my husband does not want me to work, my husband is paying salary every month. You need to check yourself too and discuss for a job with your sister. Some siblings are evil by helping one to calculate their salary without finding out what is their challenge or what they do with their pay. Make sure you understand how people spend their money before you conclude on their money. Remove your eyes from your sister's money that way you will work hard to earn your own money. I no dey put eyes for your siblings money cos their money will always be their money while your own you go fit spend am anyhow.

    ReplyDelete
  13. It seems as though your sister wants to distance herself from her family of birth to some degree. She has a new identity now that she has crafted for herself. Some ppl become like that when they get successful, they no longer want to associate with or be associated with poor/uneducated relations. You probably are family oriented and want to keep the connection alive. You just have to leave her alone and let her be. Stop calling her for an entire year and see if she calls you at all. Stop accepting her money if you are able to, because once you take ppl’s money you are no longer seen as an equal but a charity case. From your words your sister does not seem to be the type who would joyfully give, maybe she gives out of a sense of duty only or your mother is coercing her to. However, if you are not in a place financially that you can refuse her money then you will have to continue taking it until you get into a better place. But try to get to a place where you can stop taking it.

    Focus on you and the family you have created for yourself. Seek for ways to improve your life. If you need more education or a skill go get it. If you need to start a business then do so. If you believe in God then use prayer and fasting to help you. Your sister’s life is 100% her focus and you have to make your life 100% your focus. If it helps your peace of mind stop following her on social media that way you don’t have to see how she is living and compare it to yourself. Everything we need to succeed is already within us, many times we limit ourselves looking at others and thinking they could be the door, but the truth is we all have the door inside of us to open to a better life. Look within and open your door.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Is that the only thing you saw in the post, what about the attitude of not taking her calls, it is very painful when people don't return the love you give them.

      Delete
    2. If you read my comment and feel that I did not address the points of the poster then you need a brain transplant, cause nothing else can help you.

      Delete
    3. So if her sister is in meeting or dinner, party, etc. she should excuse herself to go and gist? If it's urgent, the poster will likely send a text.

      Delete
  14. Please remove your eyes from her money and life and try and focus on yourself. You even wrote a chronicle about your entitlement. πŸ™„πŸ™„πŸ™„

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Simple!!! They will not put eye in the person's suffering but quick to put eye in their money!

      Delete
  15. Poster I think it's time to leave your sister alone; you cannot establish a relationship with someone who does not clearly want anything to do with you....Whilst it is painful, please let her be....God can use anyone to help you to get to where you want to be; and it is okay; it doesn't have to be your sister...

    Whenever she sends you money; call her and greet her or send an SMS appreciating her and occupy yourself with productive things rather than worrying about your sister's coldness....If she comes around fine, if she does not reach out, good and fine....

    Please don't confront her....Face your life; my mantra is how you treat me is how I will reciprocate; cos two can play that game...No be fight oh just face your life and get busy...

    All the best...

    ReplyDelete
  16. Poster take your case to God and ask Him to lift you up. Your sister may be sparing you something which you know nothing about. This life is deeper than we see in the surface. I don't want to insinuate anything but you may not know what your sister is sparing you from by not trying to offer you the help that you thunk she is in a position to offer you

    ReplyDelete
  17. Every little thing you people will be screaming entitlement mentality, THAT IS ABSOLUTE NONSENSE!!! you guys that is how God made the earth, he can bless you so that you lift others up, this is siblings for God's sake, why did God create us to have siblings or family? That is the thinking of God, He blesses you, and then He uses you to bless others.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is the mantra here. I hate that entitlement mentality talk. Why can’t human help others when they can? To think we are talking about siblings. Let them continue yearning entitlement rubbish all the time.

      Delete
    2. Dont mind them. They will be screaming entitlement mentally. Maybe they are bringing up their kids not to love and help eachother. So its better to be helping or assisting outsiders than your own blood sibling? This is really crazy.

      Delete
    3. @15:59 you are wrong, God did not create your siblings to help you, also giving is a choice, some people do not believe in God...so do not believe in 'blessing' others. Choosing to help others is a choice and a grace, not everybody has thar grace! Nigetians, the earlier you lot chain your entitlement mindset the better for you! No one owes you nothing, not even your parents!

      Delete
    4. Abegi OOOOO
      Parents owe their children until adulthood.
      Even after then, if parents have extra, they should give to their children.
      After all, there are ways to gbensh without having children.
      Nobody sent any parent on the errand of having children.
      So they have the duty to provide for the children to ease the rough edges of life.

      Delete
    5. Anonymous 17:42 are you responding to someone that says even your parents owe you nothing πŸ˜‚ you can imagine the person’s mindset. Do you think poster’s sister lives under the rock? She might be our BV oo you expect her not to defend her wickedness 🀣 keep playing

      Fan Emmanuel

      Delete
    6. Don't mind them, they don't even access situation well before tagging it entitlement. Stupid English

      Delete
    7. 16:23 shameless stingy person.. stop covering your Shame in disguised that nobody owes you nothing.. wicked somebody

      Delete
  18. I think that if God blesses you with wealth, you owe it to Him to help your family members. It's not about entitlement. It's about caring for your blood.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. You never jam sone family members o..

      Delete
    2. That is how it is meant to be. Although some ask too much and some give nothing. It has to be balanced.

      Delete
    3. What if it's not from God? Have you thought about that too?
      She gat to keep to the rules

      Delete
  19. I think you’re mixing things up. Some people don’t call whether they gave money or not. One of my sisters doesn’t call. Just a bad habit. It doesn’t mean she doesn’t love us. She’s getting better these days cause my parents have complained tire

    you should ask her to help with a job
    She might not even know you want to work
    I have people that I don’t refer for jobs because the way they react you know they’re like who sent you. So ask her direct and see what happens Just let her know what you need. Don’t do those long calls that are followed by a request. If it’s job you want, ask her. If it’s money for business, calculate it well and ask her.,try to ask for the whole at once but say she can divide if she wants. If she’s busy she may find small small requests annoying

    And when you get, express sincere gratitude

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. "you should ask her to help with a job"

      Solid good advice.
      Poster, have you done this?

      Delete
    2. Poster, I support this.
      Forget all this nonsense talk about entitlement mentality!!!
      Either you ask your sister to set you up with a business or job

      OR

      You reduce the way you call her. She has now taken it as you must be the one to do the calling. Give her space to miss you a little.

      Delete
    3. My dear a sister that truly cares will not sit down and wait for her sister to ask before she help. Not calling is different from avoiding your sister’s call. At least that once in a while you talk to her, why not ask her what’s her plan in life, let it be that poster says she’s not interested in doing anything.
      When I newly relocated my sister kept disturbing me that while I’m looking for job I should always be doing a side hustle. That she will be sending red oil garri ogbono etc for me from the east but I told her I’m not interested. It got to a point that she was even begging me that she can be using her money to buy those things for at least let it be that I don’t depend on my husband. That’s a sister that truly cares.

      Fan Emmanuel

      Delete
  20. My dear in life hustle hard so you can be of value to people around you. Life is so busy these days n It’s hard keeping in touch with people that rarely add much value to our lives even relatives. N it must not always be monetary value.

    To all my friends and siblings I always constantly try to add value to them no matter how rich they are. This is how you carve your place in peoples hearts.

    She mustn’t always be giving you. Once in a while look around for something she would like and send to her. Even if it’s Ankara ready to wear, or dry fish. Tell her you saw so so thing and felt she would like it so you got it for her. Some times it can be draining too for rich people as everyone seems to always take from them n no really genuinely care about them so they tend to protect themselves.

    Pls Kill that entitlement mentality it kills relationship. You didn’t help her get to where she is so she owes you absolutely nothing.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Gbam. Give her too not just taking. I am single, wealthy and can afford to buy anything I want but I enjoy my siblings gifts out of all proportion to the worth. It says I love and I m thinking of you.

      Delete
  21. Stella, she’s not entitled. Read the post again na. She’s asking if she should keep calling her sister since the sister rarely picks her calls or calls back.
    I guess she added the part of not asking for money to clarify that it’s not the reason for the sister ignoring her calls.

    She’s only trying to have a close relationship with her sister and there’s nothing wrong with that.

    Dear poster, I’ve been in similar shoes, one of my sisters is like this and at some point would only pick my calls, ignoring all else. I’m the youngest so other siblings thought it was a last born thing until she started ignoring my calls too.
    She’s doing great but not particularly wealthy so it’s not a money issue.
    Now if I call and she doesn’t pick, I pass whatever message I have via sms, without adding extra talk and I stay in my lane till she reaches out which she eventually does.
    Please face your front, it’s difficult I know especially if you crave a loving relationship with family but it’s doable. Work hard and pray to God to direct your paths and bless the work of your hands. Success has many friends.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Some people suffer from low energy and depression, some of those people who ignore calls for long like that likely passing through somethings beyond them.

      Delete
  22. Sometimes I wonder how some rich people are comfortable watching their family members live from hand to mouth. You must have a heart of stone to watch your siblings or parents suffer when you have the wherewithal to change their story.

    Your sister is evil. She doesn't mean well for you. She just wants to see you suffer so she can give you little money every now and then and feel like a demigod. Cut her off! Stop taking her calls.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @Binam, you would be suprised that some rich people sleep comfortably well without a care in the world about those who lack, to them thats how they remain rich! Make una no dey put eye for wetin people get! Be self-sufficient for goodness sake!!!

      Delete
  23. What if her sister has joined a cult group that enables her seat with governors and co? What if the sister prefers not to extend such wealth to any of her family members? Few people I cannot collect money from in nijia are politicians or people associated with such. We all know that it is the masses money that they consume. Pray for your sister and ask God to provide for your husband and for you. Stop depending on man

    ReplyDelete
  24. You should have ask her help for job not money for food. With a good job you will be fine for life. Teach me how to fish is better than the person given you the fish. When you eat it finished you will still request for more.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Poster chat with her time to time or if she calls.Don't ask her for anything unless she offers.And don't ask her for anything.pray for God to elevate you.

    ReplyDelete
  26. @Ushang.. thank you!

    I see no entitlement mentality here!

    The most abused word on the blog is "entitlement mentality".

    Once anyone complain of something, it's "entitlement mentality".

    And no!

    She didn't ask to confront her for money but for the relationship between them.

    Again.. people usually make that comment:

    "So you're related to so so so and you're like this?"

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Meanwhile, some of us load the giveaway posts and fight among ourselves or with Stella over giveaways.

      Delete
  27. I know we shouldn't be entitled but this is not nice at all.
    Well what do I know?
    Poster may God bless you and wipe away every form of shame in your life. Amen

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sometimes we just throw this entitlement thing around just because we feel we are entitled to. If my siblings can't be blessed because of me(if I can afford it)then who can??? Yet it's ok to think politicians and business magnates that don't know nothing about us owe us something. What happened to family first, charity beginning at home and all of the tenets that bound us then.

      Delete
    2. Reason why she may not call you:
      1. Very busy: (multinational company jobs can be demanding and with high position comes greater responsibility)
      2. Concentration on her own immediate family which she prioritise whenever there's vacation opportunities.
      3. Bad habit of not calling people often, that character would have been there throughout these years.
      4. Perceived value: she may not attach your calls with any significant value added to her especially if past discussions is always about mundane things, gossips about people who are no longer important to her, or sometimes saying things that she may consider inappropriate thereby rating you in a level that is not important
      Check your conversations in the past, are they always complaint or bad mouthing?.
      5. Financial difficulties: even the rich face their own issues like paying fees in foreign currency, completion of building project in this unstable economy. She might assume wrongly that your hubby will cater for you since the child birth (some people reduce help towards their family/friends when they get married).
      In all you do, always remember she's still your sister. If it hurts too much to talk with her, you can maintain some distance for now until you heal from the pain, try to reduce your expectations of her because she's human.
      Build up your social support system around you, because they will have your back and meet your needs better than someone who has other priorities.
      πŸ€—

      Delete
  28. BV I'll advise that you don't ask her. Even though she's your siblings, she's not obligated to be giving you money or calls you. Let's get rid of this entitlement mentality. Instead pray that God should bless you too. When you hold, nah she go dey check on you. It's well

    ReplyDelete
  29. Poster while i will not judge your sister because i don't know her personal experience with you in regards to advice she must have given you years back (To focus and Study, Training, marriage- maybe to delay marriage and hustle first etc). Secondly, her own view of your financial handling abilities etc. All this her experience/perception of you many years might be what she still holds on to about you.

    It is evident you both have not see physically in years except for the few calls. I did not see where you sent appreciation for the little she gave you but it is clear you are monitoring her life and kinda have entitlement mentality because you discussed her with a colleague who capitalized on your supposed disdain for her to fuel it further by providing you with unnecessary information.

    Poster please purge your heart of bitterness even Bible warned us of it "In Hebrews 12:14–15, God tells us, “Strive for peace with everyone, and for the holiness without which no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one fails to obtain the grace of God; that no 'root of bitterness' springs up and causes trouble, and by it many become defiled.”

    Secondly; If she's not picking your calls, text messages will not bounce. Send monthly new month messages/prayers to her, Her birthday and when she sends you money or recharge card, please pray and bless her for the little. You can even tell her how it solved an issue for you. Sister thank you for having me in mind and remembering me, i do not take it for granted.

    Gratitude is a MUST if you must advance in this life. Nobody like ungrateful people no matter how little please. Even in the bible the 1,3 and 5 talents you see what happened to them. the ungrateful and wicked servant his one talent was taken and added to the one who came back with 10.

    You will be fine

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It is people like you that help others and hold it over their heads, expecting them to continually bow their heads to you as a god. So it's not enough that poster is always the one calling her sister whether she picks or not, She should be sending her monthly new month messages??? She should perpetually grovel at her sister's feet because she's in a position to help her? God abeg oh! Thank God I have never been in a position to beg help from someone like you.

      Delete
    2. Anonymous 23:22
      It is evident you do not have helpers around you (i mean people that genuinely care, support you; both financially & non financial aspect etc) and will continue to be there.
      A helper helping you doesn't mean he/she does not have thousands of people around to help or has excess and doesn't know what to do with their resource but you. if otherwise is your mindset you are on a long thing.

      Let me guide you; If someone gives you something no matter how little whether you asked for it or Not (most especially when you did Not ask for the help), PLEASE I BEG YOU IN GOD'S NAME, appreciate them well. Even if you can afford it or not, It is not the amount/worth that counts but the intention/thought that matters most. Your appreciation will confirm that.

      Secondly, Most helpers are far apart or not easily accessible physically. so to have your imprint in them(that is building bond with them without being a pest or coming off as a burden) you send a new month text, their birthday you celebrate them not only when they send you gift/money you appreciate them and that is all. Then you expect them to remember you always as per Roaster abi.

      You think they don't have their life and other things doing right but to ingrain you in their memory for life abi. God that created us had to write his words/promises/laws in a book and asked his children to read/mediate day and night so you don't forget. God ooo asking you should mediate day and night then it's human being that have their own challenges/struggles/life to do like you will remember you steadily. Make i hear word

      Is it everyday/seconds/minute you remember your folks? Take it or leave it. If you need helpers and God provides one to you please sustain it by sending text once a month or every other month then celebrate them on their birthday. It is not too much to ask. You need their help not the other way round. So do the work to sustain having them always. Text of 4Naira once a month or every 2 months. is a big deal for you?

      APPRECIATION IS A MUST!!! be it your parents/sibling/lover/partner/stranger. Just as you have emotions/conscience in you that is how your helpers have theirs. That they/he/she is Generous, kind or wealthy does not mean they have become immune to appreciation.

      One final secret; Ask any Generous/Kind/Helper they DO NOT need your appreciation; It does nothing for them. the Appreciation is for YOU! Yes your own sake/good not theirs. it only encourages them to do more for you nothing more. if you doubt ask people around you or even stella!

      Delete
  30. Martins position is also mine. In my family we assist each other.
    The most complex B

    ReplyDelete
  31. I know its hard especially since she's your sibling. But I think you should just ask her about helping you get a good job.
    Personally, I have to talk to myself when I feel someone I'm close to is supposed to help me because I think they have the capacity to. Instead of complaining, I just pray that if my help is with them, that God should touch their heart for me but I'm trying as much as I can not to feel entitled to what others have because of my relationship with them.

    ReplyDelete
  32. IT IS NOT BY FORCE TO GIVE AND IT IS NOT YOUR RIGHT TO ASSK:...IF THE PERSON DOES NOT GIVE AND KNOWS YOUR CONDITION; DONT ASK JUST CUT OFF................IF I GIVE TO THOSE I DONT KNOW WHAT DO U THINK I DO FOR THOSE I KNOW? I DO NOT WAIT FOR ANYONE I KNOW THAT IS IN NEED TO ASK ME IF I HAVE.....IF YOU HAVE TO ASK ITS ENTITLEMENT AND IF YOU ARE NOT GIVEN THEN THE PERSON HAS NO INTENTION TO GIVE:

    MAKE WUNA LEMME OOOOOOOOOOO

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Nigerians biko learn to be self-sufficient, it is better to give than to receive, but if the person does not give, do not demand for it! Whether sibling ooo, friend ooo. Parents ooo, be self-sufficient, look up to God for help, He does not have to use people you know or family to bless you! So as not to be a slave to anyone, be self- sufficient!!!

      Delete
    2. Lay off the all caps. What's wrong witchu

      Delete
  33. "Should I confront her or just stop calling her entirely and face what life has for me"

    Should I confront her or just stop calling her entirely?
    No. Continue. That is who she is now. The day you stop, she would/may say all your sisterly concern was false and was actuated by expected favour. And she may say you stopped because she did not fall "mugu" and allowed herself to be used by you.

    "Should I ... face what life has for me"
    Yes. While still calling her focus on God and on you.
    Note that some of God's provision miracles were with what the beneficiaries had in hand - the flowing pot of oil, the refilling barrel of flour, and the multiplied loaves of bread/fishes.

    God also say to ASK.
    Ask your sister for a job placement as you would ask a prospective employer - with assurances to perform and not let her down if given the job.

    Asking for a job is always better than asking for money. The giver of a job does not feel being used to work. And it shows you want to work instead of beg or leech.

    Please note that she may also not want to ask people to avoid being obligated in ways she does not want (some men ask for a pounding of flesh to give such favours) or ways that would cause conflict of interest at her place of work (some Foreign originated companies totally bar asking for or receiving such help and would not hesitate to sack on it).

    You know that some vital information were omitted from your post. The omitted would have helped Bvs to give you more working solutions than words at your sister.

    All said, continue to call/message. Ask for a job. If none is given, ask for financial help when you really need it with proof. If it comes, take. If it does not continue to call and message without bitterness. Meanwhile, double your hustle. Best wishes.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Lol. I have just one sister too,she hardly pick calls because she's always busy, but if it's urgent I'll send message and she'll call immediately. Some people are wired like that, though I've never gone to her for help and she'll not do it although I hardly disturb her. On my birthday this month she even gave a huge sum to me. Not everyone must have sister sister relationship, just be cool with each other

    ReplyDelete
  35. Omoh!.... I can't relate at all. My siblings and I over love ourselves, we talk everyday and find ways to help each other the best way we can.

    Please don't stop checking on her, maybe she's too busy or something else takes her attention which is why she's usually forgets to call back after she says she will

    ReplyDelete
  36. Stella is wise. follow her advise

    ReplyDelete
  37. Life is a teacher. Most people you help turn out to be ungrateful when you need them.

    ReplyDelete
  38. Focus on building yourself, look for a small capital business to start. Hustle and pray. Be very intentional about your social network. Join groups from primary to the University. Reach out to the admin of the group, and explain whatever business you can do or services you can render, he or she can help you by marketing to the rich and well-connected among you. I'm sure they will buy from you. This is what I did. Secondly, give value back as well while in the group, send motivational stuffs, prayers, advice and random jokes. Be humble, you will fly. Times will change. I wish you all the best



    Your Data Vendor

    ReplyDelete
  39. Some family dynamics are weird. The is an invisible hierarchy. I see this into the family I married into. The low income earners are treated differently. Sorry poster I feel your pain. I have sisters too and we are very close. You just want a close relationship with your sister

    ReplyDelete

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