Hmmmm......
ITCH TO CONFESS
I'm moved to tell my fiancee my past on how I slept with different married men and eventually got pregnant for one and later aborted the baby(my greatest regret).
But what if...I know he loves me to the moon and back but what if he starts seeing me with a different eye. Hmmm
I just want to have a clear conscience where he is that's all.
#feelingsad
Look at the kind of thing you want to confess to a Nigerian man before Marriage? Even if he goes ahead to marry you, just know that you would have given him ammunition to use against you later..... That your sad hashtag will change to, if to say i know i for no talk hashtag.....
That confession that is itching you to confess is your village people messing with you...Be warned and let sleeping dogs sleep...
I'm here to read comments .
ReplyDeleteWell you know the kinda person you're dealing with and how to go about it a man that truly loves you would appreciate your honesty and repentance.
Mary Magdalene
DeleteAka
Sister Marie
Go and tell him nahh
Sister Joseph
When I read Stella's blue ink I wailed in laughter!🤣 Oh yes! Not that what you said is funny poster, but truly you like yasef so?
DeleteJust watched the movie 'Which brings me to you'. Suffice it to say sometimes I wish real life is like the movies............ You reminded me of it poster.
DeleteHe is not God, you don't need to confess to him. Has he told you how many girls he has slept with and how many abortions girls have had for him??? Shut up or forever forget marriage.
DeleteIf you like no face front, what about him do u know what he has done with his own life in the past. Please move on from your past and live a happy life with your man. All have sin and come short in the presence of the Lord. Dont come for me cos sin is sin.
ReplyDeleteShebi una don see life?
DeleteThere is no rules to life kpakam!
And someone that has a normal life never see boyfriend o!
Una say life balance again?
Did I write this? Mine was one married man and I didn't know when we started. The frustration of the relationship pushed me into the arms of my married ex and then I got pregnant and had to abort after carrying pregnancy for almost 3 months because I wanted to damn tue consequences and keep my baby. March 17th was estimated day of delivery and I cried all day.
DeleteI'm dating someone now and want to tell him the whole truth. I will tell him eventually because I know he loves me excess and appreciates honesty. If he goes, that's my sign from God he's not for me.
E no balance atall atall. Na upandan things............
DeleteGo ahead and fess up.. 😆
ReplyDeleteAnyway. When one sexy baby knacks him, remember..you also did.
Stella, I refreshed so many times thinking you swallowed my comment.
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting
Poster I beg you do not tell him nothing please somethings are better left unsaid.
ReplyDeleteAs long as you're no longer doing it, your past is your past. Leave it there.
ReplyDeleteBetter confess to God and keep it moving.
ReplyDeleteLmao
ReplyDeletePoster if your mouth is itchy. Stitch it up. You better take that your secret with you to the grave.
Even if he forgives you and loves you so much that he still married you, his view of you will likely not hold the adoration that you hold right now in his heart. It’s like eating something you love and then learning there is something tainted in it, you will likely stop eating it all together or cut down on how often you have it.
ReplyDeleteGet a therapist and go talk to that professional if your conscience is eating away at you. Your fiancé is not a therapist and laying that load on an average person to test the strength of their love under the guise of confession is a lot for an untrained person to handle. But if you feel strongly that he deserves to know about your past then tell him and let the chips fall where they may. Remember that he may tell others, close friends or family, so do not expect it will be a secret. Be ready for any outcome after confession, and give him the freedom to walk away in peace.
Sometimes when we have done really horrible things we think we do not deserve anything good. That is your internal battle of self-worth and feelings of deservedness. If you are a changed person it is ok to move forward and live a changed life leaving the past behind.
I'm just passing...🚶🏼♀️🚶🏼♀️🚶🏼♀️
ReplyDeleteIt depends on the kind of man you’re with. Some men don’t care, some(like me) will never date anyone that has slept with married men for money.id rather be with a woman that has 50 body counts of single men than one that has slept with 5 married men for money. So it depends on the kind of man you’re with.
ReplyDeleteThis is funny. Won't you sleep with young girls and reward them when you get married??
DeleteHaba why is keeping quiet hard for you people like this? As long as your womb is fine what’s the point telling someone this
ReplyDeletePls let him have some peace and keep this to yourself. He’s happy. LeAve well enough alone
You want to confess your sins to your fiance ? is he your God .I never do prostitution in my life but I had failed marriage and my husband have used it to insult me several times . Na love dey shake you. Shebi your mouth na basket.
ReplyDeleteDon’t tell him. Confess to God and keep it moving. My own is sha don’t expect faithfulness in ur marriage, watever u see u take.
ReplyDeleteIs he matured enough to soak this information in?
ReplyDeletePlease tell him and whatever his reaction is be ready to take it. Mother confessor! He loves you more than anything my ass, you will soon find out how much. A guy asked me if I thought he had killed someone before and I asked if he has his answer was that it was between him and God. I took it as a yes. That is the reason he has been asking me for years to marry him and I have refused. He use to be a member of a cult in school. I can never marry him as I believe low key he has.
ReplyDeleteMy dear please don't tell him anything.
ReplyDeleteConfess your sin to God and ask for forgiveness.
You better confess because he will still find out, and when he does by himself, you'll hate yourself..
ReplyDeleteBetter tell him and if he wants to go let him go, let him know the full package of what he's settling with and love it as it is or not..
For someone like me, you are a Nigerian girl and you're not a virgin and you are claiming not go have dated a married man, na side eyes I go just dey take look you cos Una no reach 10, so you won tell me say you dey among the below 10 wey no run am.. dey play 😂😂
Just accept it in good faith when he dates a single girl in future, and don't go around snooping and causing knowing fully well that you also did it to many other women home due to your greed..
And you'll have a blissful marriage if you do this✌️
I always reply you on this issue Dante. There are many women like me that have never dated married men.
DeleteI still admire you
Ur generalization of women should be studied...
DeleteHmmmmmmm.
ReplyDeleteIf I were the man, I would prefer you tell me even if not a detailed explanation but just a bit, and I won't use it against you because I'd forgive you from my heart so long as you did neither of those things when we were together but if you don't tell me and I get to find out, I'll still forgive but I'll find it hard to trust you again especially if you portrayed yourself a saint without any dark past
There’s nothing to forgive
DeleteShe wasn’t dating him when it happened
I read this and became speechless.
ReplyDeleteIt's that abortion part, seems it's your good conscience that is disturbing you . What makes you want to confess??? Just know the right time to confess, I will suggest when you get married and have babies.
Ask God for forgiveness and forgive yourself.
I am a man, not all men is mature enough to handle such info. If he is not judgemental, it might be okay to tell him. As for me, I feel more comfortable anytime we discuss about our past. You also try and check his reaction by telling him part of the story but it happened to your roommate. Thread carefully.
ReplyDeleteLol. Good luck. Naija man? What u did before u met oooo.
ReplyDeleteSweetheart, sleeping dogs lie for a reason.The past belongs to the past!
ReplyDeleteI had an aunt whose husband kept throwing her past in her face to the point that it led to her death. Looooong tale wish I could type it all.
Confess your sins to God darling not man, you can only come clean if he asks you but if he doesn't pls zip it. How do u even want to begin the conversation.
ReplyDeletePls go to the hospital and make sure you are very much OK before wedding to avoid waiting for donkey years to have a child pls.
Hope you know that once you confess, the relationship will never be the same. Be warned.
ReplyDeleteU go soon see wetin u de find....mother confessor🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteSome of you just like inviting trouble into your peaceful lives..
ReplyDeleteSee the sort of thing you want to disclose?
Pele o, miss good girl
Confess to God and move on.
ReplyDeleteLol
ReplyDeletePoster lemme ask you, Has he confessed his own past to you🤷🏻♀️?
ReplyDeleteAbi they don dey press you from villa?😃
Zip it abeg!! Cho cho cho dey put person for wahala if you must know, mtcheww!!
It's your past before you met him, so long as it didn't happen while you were still dating. If you have confessed to God and are now living a changed life, there is no need to confess to him, but if you feel you want to do it, maybe it's the village people who are pushing you, like Stella said.
ReplyDeletemy sister ps leave this matter alone...
ReplyDeleteyou only need to ask God for forgiveness
the Lord is extremely gracious and merciful..
his mercy no get ending....e get way he said this 26 times in psalm 136
Confess directly to God and take the secret to your grave. Things will never be the same if you tell your man.
ReplyDeleteAnd yet they will say men are scum. Are you not scum yourself. Slept with many men, played away with your life and now giving "ajeku" to your husband.
ReplyDeleteDont mind the retards who gives so much to a life they will never be proud of.
DeleteIf you are now born again ,don't do it but if you are not a Christian or born again better keep your mouth shut ;why a Christian and non christian are not the same in devils eyes ,so choose your choice
ReplyDeleteThey do all sort of shit when single. Married woman cry all sorts of tears because of them, then when they finally think they have gotten a single guy, when they want to settle down and have their home, that is when they remember they have conscience, that is when they remember they have God. It is well.
ReplyDeleteBefore you all call me judgina, i have been a victim of side chick, my cousin now is also battling the issue of side chick. And the pain is beyond comment. My own is, when you eventually marry, whatever you see, you take it and always remember you also did it in the past, to someone else.
Na wa oo for the pain and sleepless nights una dey feel unto man's prick.
DeleteI can't relate abeg.
Let's just say a man sent this, that he used to be an armed robber and hired killer, and feel he should tell his fiancée his past..
ReplyDeleteWe can all guess what the comments would be here, but as na woman own now, men don't deserve to know the truth, men are to be lied to and deceived, then when he find out, manipulate him with tears about how you held back because you didn't want to lose him bla bla bla..
Some of you think men dont have sense, and that would be your greatest undoing..
When he finds out and begin to treat you like trash, you'll send another chronicles and na only insult your colleagues here go help you insult the man, but na you fo still dey suffer the cause of their bad advice in reality..
If you like don't open up.. it's yourself you're doing ✌️
Do you know how they will excuse the scenario you mentioned?
DeleteThey will tell you that murder and armed robbery are crimes, whilst being a mistress to several married men is not!
Comparing abortion to armed robbery is just silly talk
DeleteBut why should men know my sexual history? I mean all of it, are they my God? I don't bother my head with their sexual past. The emphasis is why confess my sexual past to him??
DeleteNever done an abortion though, there is nothing my man asks I can't tell him, cos I don't take things to heart. And he better forgets about using my past against me, does me nothing, na him go tire sef by the time I am done with him.
Men need to understand relationships these days are not easy, they themselves contribute to the complications, a girl is supposed to date one miserable guy and invest her all into him, with the hopes of the future and get dumped at the end of the day is the storyline you guys love to hear as wife material.
Make una dey play!
Sexual sin is both for men and women, stealing and killing are not to be taken likely. I can't even be attracted to a thief whether he has quit or in his former life.
DeleteCome Dante, na relationships where the girl go suffer with guys, invest her all and get dumped una dey always like.
DeleteThen when the guy marries and turn married man, he goes about sleeping with young girls. The same act he was criticizing as a bachelor.
Make una dey play, judge of the universe!
Bill..
DeleteIllegality is to men what immorality is to women.
The poster hiding those stuff is equal to a man hiding his criminal past.
Bye
When men go bad, they do illegal stuff..
When girls go bad, they do immoral stuff..
Yahoo boy and thief = female ashawo..
They are proportional to eachother..
You sinned against God not against your fiance! Seek mercy and forgiveness from God. Don't become a parrot because of marriage. Or did you damage your womb or fallopian tube? He knows you're not a virgin, that's enough for now.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, you said you want to have a ''clear conscience'', so let it out. I just hope he is mature enough to handle it
ReplyDeletePoster, you better keep your mouth shut. Clear conscience to man wey don fuck other girls tire.
DeleteWho do good girls this thing?
Dante, you don get our Sistas numbers and you sabi whyne dem well 😁
ReplyDeletePoster, don't mind Dante. Keep your mouth shut. If it comes up in future, deal with it then.
And yes, Dante is right that you should not hound the man with snooping because you have conditioned yourself by your doings to believe all married men cheat.
By the way I am a man. I would not want to be told what you itch to tell. So long as you are healthy and capable of bearing children (because of you will want to have children) you are good to go.
Stella, men are men the world over. There are Caucasian male who are better and worse than your often mentioned typical "Nigerian man". Some will not marry her even because of her former lack of respect for marital boundaries. Some will not marry her because of the belief that old habits die hard, some will not because... Abi no right of choice of who to marry for Oyibo men? Na any kind of woman Oyibo men dey marry?
Dante no go fit take dis kind confession from him babe. I pity any babe wey go werey go tell Dante say she be former runs geh.
DeleteClose mouth make fly no enter...later you go say na your village people...u are your village person
ReplyDeleteConfess to him. This is not a secret you can keep.
ReplyDeleteTomorrow someone you had things with may just show up at your door. What will you do then?
If he starts sleeping with Smallies, can you honestly call him to order knowing you did the same in your prime?
What if you have problems conceiving and a medical report brings up the abortion, what then would you say?
I'll suggest you come clean with him, and respect the aftermath
Or your bestie that time, tells him? What then will you say?
Tell him the honest truth about your self. The past catches up quickly o
I'm sure you won't be happy to wake up 15-20 years later in your union and learn your partner was a thief, armed robber, rapist or something worse? How would you feel then?
I wish you all the best. TELL HIM
HYDROGEN
The threesome QUEENS will tell you not to confess.. If you like, don't confess, he will still find out and once he does, he most definitely will send you packing. Kings, kindly observe the comments of Nigerian women on this issue and make of it what you will.
ReplyDeleteDibia Arusi
Lolz.
DeleteWho are the Kings fucking pre-maritally and leaving for others? Who do you think will marry them, if not your Kings?
Make una dey play. Make girls just dey have sex for una fun and to please una.
You people are too selfish abeg.
Somethings are better left unsaid my sister. Resist that urge..it's the trick of the devil. Do you think he.doesnt have his own secrets that he has said yet?
ReplyDeleteWhen we tell you to live a morally-upright existence...you retort with "good girl no de pay".
ReplyDeleteYou'll most likely listen to the "take it to the grave" brigade...but it's better you tell him yourself, that letting him hear it from others! What is yours, is yours!
If you open your mouth and spill out your past especially the abortion part just know that if in future you both find it difficult to give birth, your man will blame you for the abortion. Why can't you forget about this love that is shaking your head for now and concentrate on important things?
ReplyDeleteDo not trust man with your past, some will use it against you, some will not even care since it was on thr past while others will keep reminding you how you slept with married men. Confess to God, make sure you do not go back to those things. Make sure you clear or delete any evidence to linking those such , remember your friends that knows your past life should be kept at arms length before they spill to spoil your relationship.
Hmmmmmm bad life no good ooo
ReplyDeleteThe most complex B
You should tell him not because you want to be honest or take that heaviness off your chest but because I want you to find out if he truly loves you to the moon and back or if you are just overreaching.
ReplyDeleteThe best way to know if someone is meant for you is to strip yourself totally bare and surrender to them the freedom to decide on their own without any external proddings to choose you. Don't be tempted to influence their decision by omitting the truth or sugarcoating the lies. Exude transparency, it's hard but do it. It's for your good. Leave the ball in their court and if they love you, they will stick with you and that is how you know they love you.
Doing so gives your partner the autonomy to decide and also the opportunity for you to truly see in the absence of guilt, manipulation and fear if they truly want you in all your essence. Only then can you say, they love you to the moon and back.
When they have acknowledged your imperfections, seen your scars, embraced your flaws and are privy to the secret part of you - that part you have kept hidden - the one, no one else knows, only then can you beat your chest and brag to the highest heaven that they love you but until them don't brag yet, just don't!
I don't understand why others keep saying, "he will leave you, don't tell, he will start to treat you badly". If he does, then isn't that a good thing that you get to discover his real feelings for you? So you can quickly move on and find your own 'person'. Isn't it better than having to exhaust yourself feeling restless?
A lot of you are with partners whom you will never really get to find out if they truly love you because you don't give them the chance nor liberty to leave, in order to see if they will really stay. This is not surprising because the love most claim they feel for their partner is borne out of survival and selfish interest. You love selfishly. Do you even know what love is?
Would you and everyone supporting you to hide your past, be fine if he hid the fact that he has been married and divorced thrice in the past from you? After all, it was in the past and it has no effect on your present relationship, there were no kids in the mix from all his past marriages and all his ex-wives are remarried? Would you mind if you find out?
If you have a son and he meets a woman with your past, would you want her to tell him or keep it to herself?
Words on Marble.
Keep it to herself
DeleteI did and 7+ years later, he still uses it against me in a demonic and evil way; Even though his gf also aborted for him. Don’t do it. Ask for forgiveness if you haven’t and let your past be your past. Naija men are wired differently.
ReplyDeleteSpeak to a therapist to let go of your past.
ReplyDeleteI was in your shoes. He might leave you he might not. I hid my past and was restless for years. I was depressed and was seeing a therapist for years. It is better to tell him now than 5 years later like I did. If your Christian surrender all to God. If you dont the enemy will use it against you trust me. You will not have peace. Unless your heart is harden. Apologize to the people you hurt and have peace. Life is hard sis. I did something awwful when i was young dont want to say it. But i though i will never reveal that secret to anyone not even my parents or sisters. But i did to my spouse. He said he forgave me but our relationship was never the same. When he told me he forgave me after everything i told him. I had the peace I was looking for, after years of therapy. I wish you best of luck. Christ loves You.
ReplyDeleteSis you don't have to tell him anything. As long as you've repented and no longer do such, then let sleeping dogs lie. You may consider seeing a therapist if that will make you less judgemental of yourself.
ReplyDeleteYou don't know everything that he's done in the past as well. Men have a terrible habit of weaponizing what we've told them about us against us. Please do not fall into that trap.
No sin is worse than the other. Also, take it to the Lord in prayer. He alone can calm the storm within your heart. This isn't a problem that needs solution; rather it's about you learning to forgive yourself and only God can hold your hands and make it happen .
Poster if you’re no longer doing it, keep shut and keep it moving. Let sleeping dogs lie. Men cannot handle the truth about a woman’s past. Confess to God and keep living
ReplyDelete