Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

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Tuesday, June 25, 2024

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative

 Hmmmm....


STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WHAT IS HAPPENING?


My neighbor gave birth two weeks ago. Her husband told us about it but said they are still in the hospital.
Last weekend I went to see them. I entered and the sister went inside and came back to tell me that she is sleeping. I left.

Two days later, I went back, another of her sister told me she is sleeping.
My people please is she avoiding me? I am single and we have never had any issue.

Some people dont like being visited in hospital..Maybe she had complications and does not feel up to seeing anyone..Please wait for her to be discharged and visit her at home.
If she acts funny and all , please let her be cos pain makes some people very rude and makes some very silent.....Let the husband know that you visited twice but was told she was resting....If you can, buy something small and drop it for her....something small cos you dont know if the gift will be accepted or thrown away after you leave.

63 comments:

  1. For now dont conclude yet, wait for her to come back home if she still behaves the same way then it is now clear that she is avoiding you..

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She is back ooo. I went to visit her at home a day after she came back

      Delete
    2. If you guys have always been just cordial before now, free her till you pass each other anywhere and greet her.
      Hope you and baby are doing fine? Greet baby for me.

      Please my sister, don’t stress yourself. In your innocent mind, you are friends or neighbors but she’s not seeing it that way. Even the gift, give it to the hubby not sister not her.

      Delete
    3. She sure feeling kinda of embarrassed or shy. Get them a gift from kindness of your heart. She will come around. Do not give up yet.

      Delete
  2. You have tried. Don't go again.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Wait for her to get home and congratulate her.. I will advise u give cash as gift..

    ReplyDelete
  4. Poster,please calm down,let them breath,during my child bearing time,I detest visitations of any kind. Till the naming ceremony day,even at that,I am still very cranky and touchy. If my mum or hubby complains,I start crying. Please pardon her.

    ReplyDelete
  5. This chronicle is a clear evidence of how some of you ladies enter into abusive marriage and claim you did not see the red flag.

    People clearly don't want you and you went there the 2nd time and still planning to visit a couple of times again.
    Continue going until you find what you are looking for, then you will write another chronicle.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. He never reach so na. Wetin bring abusive marriage. ITK too much for the blog esp Awon anonymous

      Delete
  6. If I were you, I won't go there again and wont have gone to that hospital. There's something they feel. I also won't want to be greeted in the hospital as well...wait till she gets home even if it takes 3 months. They are avoiding you so stay in your house o

    ReplyDelete
  7. They don't rate you. You left your house to go and see them only to tell you she's sleeping? Omo find place go o

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. For them to still be in the hospital means there was complications right? So you would rather they woke her up?

      Delete
    2. To the extent they didn't even let her in? No tangible explanation given? Lol lol oshey

      Delete
    3. Miss aboki They are discharged. Went to see them at home

      Delete
  8. Rest your arse. You have tried!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I swear.
      Poster That’s enough. Abi na you impregnate her?

      Fan Emmanuel

      Delete
  9. She might be having complications,talk to her on the phone and tell her you have visited twice but she was sleeping when you came around.
    There is no need of going back to the hospital,when she is discharged,you can visit her at home.

    I don't think she is avoiding you..things like this happens.

    ReplyDelete
  10. It's either she used Caesarian section to give birth,Needs her privacy OR there are some after birth complications which she doesn't want to be made aware to the public.

    From the little I observed;lots of women in Nigeria want to have the tag of "strong woman" and still see CS as a big deal,so if they give birth;they first return home and try to not to show it(walking style and all) hence when you come to see them that first two weeks,it's excuse upon excuse until they can walk well.

    So don't take it to heart,leave her to return home first,then go see them after few days.

    @MARTINS

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Upvote!!! Poster thanks for your kind heart and don't over think this...I go with Stella and Martins..

      Delete
    2. Person wey dey house. I no go again abeg

      Delete
  11. Stella this your wisdom ehn...

    ReplyDelete
  12. No fuse all will be good,let her leave hospital and come home,then you can greet her .

    ReplyDelete
  13. U done try naaa,leave them alone .if you see her for road after some months,greet her and move along.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Pikin dey cry for the house abi e nor dey cry? If e dey cry then stop going there and go get busy.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Maybe she give birth through Cs of 簷ther complication.while some people Don accept visitors till dey reach house .or after some months. But don't go there again .

    ReplyDelete
  16. You are just disturbing your self
    You went first day she proposing told her sis to tell you she's sleeping
    You still went another day
    Na waoo you ooo

    Let her be discharge o
    Even she comes back from the hospital do not visit immediately ooo
    If you go hear shaaa..

    Just use your head shaaa
    Am not the one that will tell you when to visit her..

    Hello iya boys.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Ignore her and stay in your lane.
    You went there twice. Let's pretend they forgot to relay your message to her the first time but what about the second time? Are they that forgetful?

    Yes, she could be in a state where allowing guests in is not advisable but what about the people who left their houses too, spent transport fare twice, took time out of their schedule to show love to her and her family? shouldn't they be acknowledged and treated with respect.

    She doesn't want you around and I refuse to believe it is for the reason suggested. If the reason suggested is why she is feigning sleep then the moment you, like a few hours later, your phone would ring. She would have ccalled to thank you for taking out time out of your busy schedule to stop by and apologise for not being able to see you and also tell to you not to stress yourself anymore that you will meet each other at home, if not for courtesy sake but as a means to keep you off.

    It has been two weeks she delivered, so raising up the phone to her ear should not really be a hassle. Besides her husband wouldn't have shared the news nor give the hospital's address, if visiting was truly inappropriate.


    Please leave her alone.


    Words on Marble.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL @your second to last paragraph. You never jam pregnancy/childbirth complication that's why. You think a woman staying in the hospital two weeks post partum is child's play?

      Delete
    2. are you minding her....i had CS which go infected and i was in hospital for 3 weeks after delivery...wetin my see no be here..I was in london so it was only husband who was coming to me in hospital. the state i was in it was only immediate family i would have been keen or allowed to visit me

      Delete
  18. Poster do not let anybody make you feel bad.
    You did what a good neighbour should do.
    If you did not return the second time, some people would still tag you uncaring.
    People have visited new mothers at the hospital. Going to the hospital was not wrong either.
    She may have been under sedation at the time of your visit.
    As already said, it may also be she did not want to be seen in certain condition - privacy issues.
    Do not visit again at the hospital. When they arrive home visit.
    Let it slide. It is not connected to your single status.
    You have done well.

    ReplyDelete
  19. Poster you can send her an SMS text or chat wishing her well and also to let her know that you visited twice.
    Don't take it to heart, maybe she had complications or post-partum depression she is battling.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Don't go again. wait for her at home. but do let the husband know you tried seeing them

    ReplyDelete
  21. If they are still in the hospital two weeks after giving birth it simply means they are dealing with certain complications. Keep sending your regards through the husband till they are back home.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Where did you read that they are in the hospital? I went to their house

      Delete
  22. I won't even visit anybody in the hospital unless we're very close, and if I want to visit you at home, I will just visit once and gift you what I can afford as a gift.
    The way some people reason if you're showing them love is sickening, I know you visited out of love, but please don't go again, wait till she's discharged and visit her at home, also let her know you visited twice, please don't call her, before she will be thinking maybe you want her to invite you for visitation again.
    Lastly if you visit her at home, don't overstay your welcome and don't touch the baby, just greet her and give her gift if you can afford it.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I find it strange that Nigerians still visit people without an agreement of visit. Pls before visiting anyone at home, even hospital, call them, ask for availability. Let them be expecting you, before you land. I can be home and yet not available. It is only a workplace that is open to clients and guests at all times. How do you just show up to someone's privacy at home or clinic without prior informing them? I know you have the best intentions so don't feel bad. But as some already pointed out, it's possible your neighbor doesn't want to be seen in a vulnerable state or doesn't want her private health information known, which is actually within her right. Send a message and a gift. Or wait till she returns. Good luck.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Please don't go again.
    Dey your dey until she approach you.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Learn boundaries in life and you would hav alot of peace.
    There are people you visit in the hospital, there are those you wait to return home, there are those you call on fone, there are those you send a text message, there are those you wait till they completely heal, when you meet on the road or in the office, you greet them. All this depends on the kind of relationship you have with people. Now she has placed you where you belong, pls respect urslf and stay there.

    ReplyDelete
  26. If you guys have always related well why not send her a text.

    Congratulations Hope you’re doing well. I came to see you on so so date but you were resting. Pls let me know as soon as it’s okay yo come see you

    ReplyDelete
  27. You didnt even have to visit her in the hospital that's the prerogative of family. Wait till she gets home.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Poster you did not indicate well in the chronicle that it was the home you went to, it sounded the hospital.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Torr. Even if you visited them at home she might not be in the right frame of mind to recieve visitors. Or she might be trying to catch some sleep and didn't want to be disturbed.
      Poster don't take it to heart, pregnancy and childbirth is not an easy experience.

      Delete
    2. Thanks you SDK. I am sorry the chronicle was not clear.
      The husband posted in our group that she has delivered and we congratulated them on the group. One day I saw new born things hanged outside so I knew they are back from the hospital, I did not go that day because I had no money with me. I got money the next day and branched while coming back to see them. The sister entered inside and came out to say they are sleeping. Told her to inform her I came. The next day I visited again before I spend the money with me. The sister said they are sleeping. I felt somehow and left. I called the husband later to inform him I have visited twice and was told they are sleeping. He said he came back and met them sleeping too. He promised to call me later when they are awake. The man did not call me. He saw me this morning and was forming familiarity. I decided to face front. I have not had issues with them before.
      Never entered their house before for any reason. This really came as a surprise but yadiba. I have known my position.
      Thanks everyone

      Delete
    3. It might just be a coincidence..atleast the husband is being cordial..
      I'm sure you'll see her when she starts coming out. For now, you have tried and done what a reasonable person should have done.

      Delete
  29. Leave them I beg! She will see you when she is ready no be by force! Ahhh

    ReplyDelete
  30. It's obvious she doesn't want to see u now,wait until she is home,like anon 16:25 advice call before visiting her,one can be around but not available .......... Josaria

    ReplyDelete
  31. She might in face be sleeping
    You are coming around same time which might be her sleeping time

    ReplyDelete
  32. Anon 17:28, I could tell you were the one in particular, she didn't want around.

    Okay, you went to their house and not the hospital. Well, my initial advice still stands.

    Even if you went to the hospital and obviously asked of the new mom and the sister came out from the new mom's ward, she should already know if her sister was sleeping without going back to check or re-confirm.
    The sister coming out to meet you then going back in to meet her sister after getting your details, then after some minutes coming back out again, to tell you that the wife is sleeping, would get even the kindest person suspicious.

    I suppose the sis tree rs would have known if her sister was sleeping before she came out to meet you, no? On two different occasions

    For the wife's sister to go ahead to get your informantiom first instead of just telling you outright, that her sister was sleeping, the instant she saw you, that singular act of hers to me, reveals that there are outsiders the wife sees, seperate from family and for some reason, poster, you aren't one of them.

    I pride myself of being an empathetic person but still that shouldn't prevent one from reading between the lines even when the topic discussed is a sensitive one.

    I said it before and I am still saying it, Poster, let her be.


    Words on Marble.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. you are a classic amebo and mean human.....see how you analysed what you have no full facts on...your type always read meanings to every action....

      Delete
  33. Poster maybe she doesn't want to see visitors for now,some stayed for 3months.so don't bother yourself going there again,you have tried your best

    ReplyDelete
  34. Is it that those who have gone through labor are not on this blog?! First, her extended stay in the hospital Indicates complications. Labor is hard enough how much more with complications.
    It’s like you all don’t even consider people’s mental health in that country. I gave birth via SVD and still did not want to see anyone nor pick calls or respond to texts for weeks and no I was not depressed.
    Secondly, there is something called etiquette, you can’t just go to peoples houses without informing them ahead, no matter how close you are. Even your parent’s house if you no longer live with them. You all may say this whole western thing has entered my head, but I’d rather choose peace than all these.
    This is also why women have a lot of pent up anger in naija. Imagine just giving birth and having to deal with not ‘offending’ anyone…lol
    Poster, please get over yourself, it is not about you. I had my western friends who reached out to me after giving birth telling me I should not feel pressured to respond to their texts because they understand how stressed I may be feeling.
    If you truly care about this woman, then you’d not make this about yourself.
    And I’m disappointed in alot of “women and mothers” who responded. Kudos Stella

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Don’t mind the poster, this is what I faced when I gave birth in Nigeria, had unwanted visits and putting up with fake smiles. I just wanted to be left alone to relax and sleep. Give her one month pls, delivery is not easy nne

      Delete
  35. It’s not everyone that likes to receive visitors after delivery.
    When I had my second child, I specifically instructed my husband to call each of my friends and our family members to inform them I had given birth but wouldn’t want to receive visitors until after a 2wks.
    I had learnt from the experience I had when I had my first child with visitors trooping in from morning till night for weeks. Some would stay from morning till night and would be back after a few days. My poor help almost died of cooking, cleaning etc
    Thankfully, I don’t believe in naming ceremonies; hubby and I always prayed for our babies and gave them their names. We did baby dedication though after 41days and hosted guests at a restaurant.
    I would never visit a new mother without asking if you would like me to visit and when.
    The earlier we all realise the fact that people are wired differently with different needs, the better for all of us.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Exactly what Stella said..some people are very funny. One of my neighbors gave birth. Another neighbor of ours (single lady) came to visit her. She did as if she didn't notice her. They never talked till the married woman moved out of.the compound

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. she must be very stupid...imagine the nonsense....so what was her motive for that stupid behavior? me I will just cut you the hell off....inukwa nonsense

      Delete

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