MEMORYLANE
Hello Stella,
I am a daily follower of your blog but mostly silent.
First I want to appreciate you for apologising to the lady with possible H#emorrhoids Chronicle.
I missed it the 1st time but when back to it yesterday. I think its late for me to comment on that post hence i am sending you this email privately.
But reading her post and your comment brought back memories and it was good you later believed her because I was rated in exactly the same way about 14yrs ago.
I went to see someone who my cousin introduced me to as her husband's colleague and we should see if things could tend towards marriage.
It was a big house in a massive compound and he was alone in the house Just when I was about leaving he put money in my bag for transport and I said I hope I won't have to pay back the Money.
I opted for abortion and his response was ''is it that small thing that got you pregnant.?''
I finished the process without his support and swore for him although later revoked the curse.
When I healed; told a few people and I was asked why I didn't report... his brother was Deputy speaker at the time, so what would have come out of it in Nigeria.?
I am healed, I have forgiven him and I am in a better place.
Sometimes rape victims don't speak up because of all the doubts people have about their story.
Thank you, you can post as anonymously story if you wish.
Have a great Day and keep up the good work.
Didn't proof read I am at work.
Warm Regards
Hello Stella,
I am a daily follower of your blog but mostly silent.
First I want to appreciate you for apologising to the lady with possible H#emorrhoids Chronicle.
I missed it the 1st time but when back to it yesterday. I think its late for me to comment on that post hence i am sending you this email privately.
But reading her post and your comment brought back memories and it was good you later believed her because I was rated in exactly the same way about 14yrs ago.
I went to see someone who my cousin introduced me to as her husband's colleague and we should see if things could tend towards marriage.
It was a big house in a massive compound and he was alone in the house Just when I was about leaving he put money in my bag for transport and I said I hope I won't have to pay back the Money.
He said I had insulted him and for that dragged me back to the room and then the struggle began of course in such a big house no one heard my cry or shout even with the security at the gate because all windows and doors were shut, he succeeded in pulling down my jeans and undies as he obviously overpowered me..
I Just laid there crying all through as he carried out his act after a while I begged him to at least use a condom but I guess he was done.
Next period was missed I ended up pregnant final year in med school saw my life crashing down obviously I was not going to marry my rapist or have a child when I was in between final year.
Next period was missed I ended up pregnant final year in med school saw my life crashing down obviously I was not going to marry my rapist or have a child when I was in between final year.
I opted for abortion and his response was ''is it that small thing that got you pregnant.?''
I finished the process without his support and swore for him although later revoked the curse.
When I healed; told a few people and I was asked why I didn't report... his brother was Deputy speaker at the time, so what would have come out of it in Nigeria.?
I am healed, I have forgiven him and I am in a better place.
Sometimes rape victims don't speak up because of all the doubts people have about their story.
Thank you, you can post as anonymously story if you wish.
Have a great Day and keep up the good work.
Didn't proof read I am at work.
Warm Regards
WOW!!!....This is so sad!!!..I am so happy that you have healed..I pray the other poster also heals.
It will never be well with him. Sending you hugs Poster. 🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗
ReplyDeleteSometimes, I wish the worse for rapist. How can someone hurt another person so gravely and feel it’s nothing. May God forgive us for our thoughts sometimes.
DeletePoster, I’m so happy that you’re healed and have forgiven.
Thank God for giving you the heart to forgive. So sorry you went through that trauma.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, I admire your strength and resilience to rise above all what the animal did to you....What a callous and irresponsible brute....
ReplyDeleteYou are the true definition of a ''Phoenix''.....One day the law and karma will catch up with him sooner or later, the Universe has a way for rewarding both evil and good......
I am so glad you are in perfect place and may it continue to be so...
Wishing you all the best and May life be always kind to you......
Thank God you are heal..he will definitely pay for his crimes.
ReplyDeleteMrs Sharon ,happy wedding anniversary
DeletePoster it is well with you,nay that rapist never know peace
All those guys that raped girls and are forming elders in the church, good husbands, etc won't go scot-free
DeleteI'm sorry about what you went through and I'm glad you are healed and in a better place.
ReplyDeleteOnly weak men force themselves on women. You are kind, you revoked the curse. Me, I wouldn't have.
Oh no! So sorry about your ordeal dear poster.
ReplyDeleteSometimes, it just feels like these rapists are possessed. You can imagine how a kind gesture quickly switched to torture and humiliation.
Rapists deserve great punishments The psychological wounds they leave on their victims cuts so deep that some do not even heal for the longest time.
To every rape victim struggling with trauma, may God be with you and grant you healing.
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ReplyDeleteThank God for healing poster,what a demon! Most rape victims don't speak out cos some people will judge and blame them
ReplyDelete"His brother was deputy speaker? So what?
ReplyDeleteThat should never excuse or shield someone from facing the consequences of their actions. You could have at least reported the case, pregnancy alone is clear evidence.
I’m not saying you shouldn’t have forgiven him; forgiveness is your choice. But we live in a society governed by laws, and he should have been held accountable for his lack of self-control and reckless behavior.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean justice should be ignored. Holding him accountable could have protected you and possibly others from further harm.
You know nothing
DeleteI honestly get why survivors do not seek to report or go the legal route. Their entire lives are dissected, even their parents' lives and every opportunity to prove that they were complicit is attempted. Power imbalances make the situation even worst, just having a high powered lawyer skews the possibility of justice for someone of lesser financial means. And that is with the law alone. Survivors still have to face the judgment of the community, whispers, side eyes, social media, and their day-to-day lives. If the survivor is not an underaged person or a virgin there is very little compassion and empathy to be found, as having a sexual history without marriage paints them as being promiscuous even if they are not. If they are unfortunate to lose in court, they will be seen as a trouble maker and a liar.
Delete@Anon 16:42, you that know something, why not say it lolz...
DeleteSo sorry poster. It is well with you in Jesus name 🙏
ReplyDeleteOur good Lord will fight your battle.
so happy to read that you are in a better place now. May God continue to give you more strength to do better.
ReplyDeleteChai....thank God you're healed,some men should be castrated.
ReplyDeleteI watched a so called God of men blaming a lady who came with her supposed baby daddy. Laying claims to being raped when she went to visit the guy, she got pregnant and that how they got together. Although, they've separated now.
His reply to lady that "were you laped or forced,did he tear your cloth" is irksome and I wished I was in that gathering,maybe na throw them go throw me out because,I'll give him a piece of my mind.
What would I be doing in such gathering self? And the foolish congregation were busy laughing....mtcheeew
The lady's self esteem was obviously crushed and the guy was feeling fly. He said that she slept on the bed herself as he never forced her with a very stewpeed smile on his face,😮💨😓😥I was so pained.
My prayer for the pastor and the guy is that all the females in their lineage will also be manhandled in different gory ways so that they'll be able to know how it feels..... rubbish
If not for God I would have been a victim of Rape. But I thank God for giving me the strength to fight them off and I escaped unscathed.
ReplyDeleteIt would have damaged me beyond words.
Thank God for your healing and I pray that affliction will not rise again the second time.
Is it only me? But I cringe anytime I hear or read people saying they had abortion.
It just doesn't sit well with my kind of person and No, I am not judging you.
imagine l once reported a rape case to a government hospital here in Lagos State. The male official that gave me the form to fill (to document the case) asked me: "Shebi na sex he sex you, he no beat you abi?" I guess he was sympathetic towards me and was concerned to know if the rapist went combatant in addition to sexual assault. However, the maner in which the message came across was rather unprofessional. and you won't blame the man... I blame those that put him in the critical position whithout adiquate training...
ReplyDeleteSurvivors of sexual violence should never be made to face male police officers or doctors or nurses. The level of empathy and support that they need is just never there. Some women are male identified themselves and unfortunately are no better.
DeleteWhat a traumatic experience, I am glad that you're in a better place now. May God continue to bless and uplift you, Amen.
ReplyDeleteI had a neighbor once say he can't let a girl visit him without tasting. Avoided him from then on. This was wicked and he deserves to be hung by his testicles from an iroko 🌲
ReplyDeleteSo glad u are in a better place
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about your experience poster. May God continue to strengthen you.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about the experience. The curse either reverse or not will surely work. He has sow a wicked seed and it will definitely germinate
ReplyDeleteThe other day, I said if a woman doesn't want sxxx, it's better she doesn't visit a man, some people went anon to call me name..
ReplyDeleteOkay oh,. Continue going to men house... Shebi na your papa house be that..
You can come and say I'm justifying r@pe again,. The wise one knows I'm giving safety tips..
This is the same thing I'll tell Amy woman that's close to me.. the same way I also advise them not to collect money from men when they know they're not going to give him what he wants..
No wahala sha..
It's not me that'll kuku suffer anything.
You goofed. Guy big time!
DeleteYou are born of a demon! Tueh! I spit on you! Someone brings in such story and this is what you say? Do you even understand what emotional intel is?I use to cringe each time I see your name here, but now it'll get worse!
DeleteI am so sorry you had to go through this. I was almost raped and I am still extremely shaken from the ordeal. I was very naive then but I have learnt my lesson. This guy asked me out and I refused. Then he said we should remain friends and I stupidly agreed. He would buy things for me and I would reject them but he will then say afterall we are friends and assure me it didn't mean anything, then I would collect. At a point I started reciprocating by buying him gifts as well so that it wouldn't be one sided. I genuinely enjoyed the friendship and we would even visit each other. Till one day when I visited him he started touching me forcefully to which I objected. Then he became really violent. Forcefully removed almost tearing my pant. I kept on pleading and up till now I don't know how I wasn't raped. He just stopped and left me.
ReplyDeleteI haven't been able to tell a soul cos the question will be I used my two legs to go there. I haven't trusted a man since then. It's either we meet in an open space or nothing. Also, learnt not to collect anything from any man I am not dating. Once you ask me out, we cannot remain friends.
I am so sorry you had to go through this. I was almost raped and I am still extremely shaken from the ordeal. I was very naive then but I have learnt my lesson. This guy asked me out and I refused. Then he said we should remain friends and I stupidly agreed. He would buy things for me and I would reject them but he will then say afterall we are friends and assure me it didn't mean anything, then I would collect. At a point I started reciprocating by buying him gifts as well so that it wouldn't be one sided. I genuinely enjoyed the friendship and we would even visit each other. Till one day when I visited him he started touching me forcefully to which I objected. Then he became really violent. Forcefully removed almost tearing my pant. I kept on pleading and up till now I don't know how I wasn't raped. He just stopped and left me.
ReplyDeleteI haven't been able to tell a soul cos the question will be I used my two legs to go there. I haven't trusted a man since then. It's either we meet in an open space or nothing. Also, learnt not to collect anything from any man I am not dating. Once you ask me out, we cannot remain friends.
Thank goodness you were able to fight him off.
DeleteThank God you are healed, sending you ❤️🌹❤️
ReplyDelete@Dante, rightly said, but then this makes Nigerian men animals, only wild animals will devour when you go into their lair...what a society..tuehhh!!!
ReplyDeleteNot to blame the victim, but I agree with Dante. Why go to the man's house? Alone? Wetin happen to public place? Or even your cousin's place, like a get together with you two as their guests?
ReplyDeletepls that was 14 years ago, social media was not widespread yet. Infact a lot of unlearning and relearning going on now is cos of mindset shift and people speaking out on blogs and social media. For me, back then when I was dating, I visited some boyfriends and none of them ever forced anything even though I had a no-sex policy. Just told them my faith and that was it. Even those that grudgingly accepted didn't force. So as someone rightly said above, those are wild animals who rape and men are becoming more perverted. But of course, now, I won't advice any girl to visit anyone at all at home or spend the night. I'm currently married and we consummated on wedding night. But all through dating we avoided spending nights together. It's possible and God provides the grace.
Delete