Hmmmm...
CHILDBIRTH TRAUMA
I've been a silent bv here since 2016, never commented before, just here to read comments and learn.But life has happened to me.I need advice and maybe a few recommendations here.
I got married two years ago,took in last year August and was due for delivery on 24th May. I suddenly developed bp around 38 weeks and my doctor suggested an induction which I and hubby agreed to.
On 16th May, I was admitted at the hospital and ws induced.I had a third degree tear due to my baby's weight and was rushed to the theatre for an emergency surgery.
I was discharged three days later. Unfortunately,the tear broke down and I noticed I could no longer control st#ol. The doctors have assured me of a repair surgery pending when the wound heals but my major challenge is having to soil myself uncontrollably.
Has anybody been in my shoes?How did u cope? I feel shattered and hopeless.My hubby has been very helpful and understanding . He's been taking care of our baby while I try to adjust to this new lifestyle.
Is there hope for me?Wil I ever live a normal life even after the surgery? I'm slowly drifting into depression cos I feel disconnected from my baby..
Chai!!!!! take your flowers woman!!! This childbirth thing is not childs play at all..I am sure that you will get satisfying responses from BVs...
God bless you and please love that child, its not its his/her fault...
Like sleeping and waking up, getting pregnant, carrying and having the baby without complications are some of the profound miracles people take for granted. God will heal you completely my sister. Only God can do it.
ReplyDeleteAmen, thank u
DeleteSorry sis, it will be well. You just have to endure it for now,and follow the instructions given so you and heal quick and do the surgery.
DeleteIt's VVF, it can be fixed with surgery.
ReplyDeleteThat's not VVF please. Be careful of misinformation. VVF is child's play compared to this.
DeleteOP can't hold her stool. That's faecal incontinence most probably caused by nerve or muscle damage in the lower abdomen from the tears and pressures of childbirth. There's a weakening of the muscles that controls her anal sphincter. Only upon examination will it be known if it is a nerve or muscular damage or probably both.
Kegel exercises can help provide temporary relief but not with the pain she is in now. She will need a sphincteroplasty to repair the anal sphincter and associated muscles.
I don't wish this on any woman. You see that depression OP talked about? It is very real. Imagine people practically discharging themselves from a ward because a woman had this situation. I think a separate single room had to be made available for her if I recall correctly. In the end we had to contribute money for her and her baby. The husband abandoned them after a couple of days.
I've escorted my wife to that ward 3 times and each time we've come out without incident save for the first one where we experimented with an epidural. I have seen more than enough to hold firm in my resolve that I'm done.
OP, I'm sorry you are going through this. Let's pray the medical team handling your case are competent enough to make the surgical repairs a one and done thing.
Poster, Read the reply from DOGjedity. You had a 3rd to 4th degree tear which extended to your anal region. It affected your anal muscles and sphincter. It is a pity, you didn't not get a primary healing. A surgery will fix it.
DeleteIn the meantime, add enough fiber in your food to eliminate watery stool. The fiber adds bulk to your stool. Then develop a bowel elimination timeframe. Like using the toilet every 4 hours. But adult briefs or use diaper as panty liner. Make sure you clean the area very well and pat dry to prevent infection. You can boil water, mix with salt and store it in a clean container. Pour it in a spray bottles and use it to spray the area. Saline water aids in wound cleansing. Freshen up regularly, you can use lemon or lime to naturally deodorizer your environment.
Love yourself, you are are hero, love your baby that's the evidence of the war you fought and won. Appreciate your husband and accept any help he offers with love.
You will heal. Praying for your total healing.
@ DOGgetidy are you a doctor? Good explanation. Knew that was what was wrong but could not explain it. Reminds me of all my medical dramas.
DeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteThank God you have a supportive husband and I am sorry you went through this....My sister also suffered from a 3rd degree tear; very traumatic child-birth however I thank God she is fine now.....
Don't worry about the surgery; I am hopefully that it will go well and you will be healed completely...Please shower all your love to your baby and your supportive husband....
Please have a heart of gratitude & know that it is temporal...Your healing is certain....
I believe in miracles....
All the best.....
Thanks
DeleteGod will help you. It can be fixed. Try browse hospital that can fix it, do it once and for all.
DeleteNext time, if you get pregnant, avoid some food that will make your baby big. Less Maltina, beverages and fatty food in take o. Fruits everything and water
Ok,thank you
DeleteIt's well with you.
ReplyDeleteWomen are trying o,we should be pamper
Trust God, He will come through for you.
ReplyDeleteThis is the sacrifice women make to bring forth life, love your baby and don't disconnect your affection towards your family.
So sorry about what you are going through. Can you maybe be on adult diapers every time to contain the situation pending the time you get the surgery.
ReplyDeleteWishing you a fast and permanent recovery
Thank u
DeletePlease keep hope alive. Pay special attention to your hygiene and infection control practices.
ReplyDeleteA coworker had a similar experience and she eventually got it resolved.
Thank you
DeleteAll of you shouting miracles like maniacs are you aware a simple surgery will fix it ?!!!
ReplyDeleteSorry about your ordeal. May God come through for you. Pls, next time, just go for CS. CS is the best especially in a very good hospital.
ReplyDeleteI lecture my children that they should go for CS.
I experienced both natural and CS but will go for CS anyday anytime.
Go to a very good hospital for this surgery. When next you get pregnant, watch your diet, avoid junks and too much salt and rest well.
I hope your husband gets a maid for you because taking care of a baby isn't easy.May God heal you and take care of you. Amen
Amen,thank you
DeleteSorry about what happened to you, you're dealing with VVF don't worry Sis, after the surgery you will be absolutely fine🤗🤗🤗
ReplyDeleteOh motherhood... what it's takes from some women can only be imagine..
ReplyDeletePlease change that hospital,go to a good teaching hospital..
Why will they even let you go through labour when they knew the baby's weight..
Oh dear
ReplyDeleteTake hugsssss
You will be fine ok
sorry about what you went through but please you need to be very close with your baby. You asked for this child and the lord gave you that child. Love that child with all you have and see your healing, good thing is that your husband is very supportive. You will be fine after the surgery.
ReplyDeleteMothers please take your flowers, you people are the strongest and best people all over the world.
Discharging a woman 3 days after surgery and birth is not the best
ReplyDeleteYou needed time to heal
You needed to steam
You needed to adjust
Did you have help or you got home to start doing work at home and taking care of everybody
Pad up
Steam
Antibiotics
Rest
Fruits
Return for surgery
When this repair surgery is done
Go home and rest for 1 full week
Lie down and do nothing only eat and sleep
Coordinate help for yourself and your family this season if you don’t have help
Wishing you safe recovery
Thank you
DeleteAll will be well with u @poster
ReplyDeleteAmen
DeleteFirstly, congratulations on your new arrival...just be patient and take your time to heal first. I am not sure if very minimal exercises will keep tighten 🤔 and be helpful till you book a date for surgery. Take it easy on yourself and this shall pass too, it's just a phase, try as much as possible to stay happy and avoid depression. It's a matter of time, before it becomes a story. You can still keep trying non stresfull exercises after you are healed all together....it will firm your body gradually.'hugs'
ReplyDeleteHmmm poster, my experience is not same as yours but it was also very traumatic. In my case I had a corrective surgery 4 months post partum and I'm healed now. Just trust God. It's definitely very very difficult, but trust God. It will pass. Sending you lots of love ❤️
ReplyDeleteSo sorry poster.
ReplyDeleteThe cervix was not fully dilated before the pushing.
You had cervical tear. I have seen such cases during my clinicals. Infact the patient I saw, her cervix was scattered. But alhamduillah it was fix and she was discharged after a week.
After the cervical repair, pls don't sit on sofa , bed or anything soft. Always sit on hard stool for like a month.
Don't worry your self madam it is repairable it happened to my wife in 2003 and she went on to have 2 more babies the last been in 2015 .God perfect your healing in Jesus name
ReplyDeleteIt's well with you Nneoma. E hugs 🤗🤗🤗. I checked online and lots of assurance of recovery from reconstructive surgery.
ReplyDeleteKai,child birth is not easy,just by God's grace,it is well with you ma,God bless every woman out there.
ReplyDeleteFirst, I thank God for your life.
ReplyDeleteI must say, childbirth is no trivial matter.
Some individuals experience a relatively easy process, while others face considerable challenges.
Thankfully, in this instance, both the mother and child have come through alive, so congratulations are due.
You can be rest assured that this trying period will soon pass. It's just a phase.
To facilitate your recovery, it is essential to prioritize hygiene, steam regularly, rest adequately, and use adult pads for stool as needed.
The typical recovery time is approximately 4 to 6 weeks. 7 weeks Max.
Were antibiotics prescribed to prevent infection? I hope so.
You will indeed be fine.
Please, disregard a lot of the advi
ReplyDeletePlease disregard a lot of the advice above.
ReplyDeleteWhat you have is a RECTO-VAGINAL FISTULA, a consequence of the inappropriate repair of the ?3rd degree tear sustained during the delivery.
You need to go to a tertiary/teaching hospital to be certain you're in the right hands and SUBMIT to the treatment because you probably won't like the option as it may involve carrying a stoma for a while. The position of the fistula is presently unknown and that'll definitely influence the management decisions
On an aside, you had that level of tear because you tried to push a big baby as a first timer. There's a Reason C/S is advocated and this is one of such.
Sorry for your ordeal
Not a fistula. She tore her freaking sphincter due to stupidity
DeleteChai! Ehugs to you poster, you will be fine by Gods grace.
ReplyDeleteThis your doctor doesn’t seem right
ReplyDeleteDid the doctor advice against vaginal birth
I am sorry for what happened to you poster. Please be strong you will be fine with time. When you look at the baby it will be a consolation that the pain is worth it, please do not ditach from your child it's not the baby's fault. This too shall pass.
ReplyDeleteSorry sis.God will see you through.
ReplyDeleteSo sorry about this. I'm sending loads of tight hugs.
ReplyDeleteJust try and be positive always while you keep exploring medical solutions.
Adult diapers, 30k for a month worth. Next time..pleaseeee go for CS, depression...don't love,look at that child and say to yourself,' I did that'. I don't know you but I love you 😘. When you have your surgery you will heal. Big hugs mama congratulations.
ReplyDeleteDid you refuse to have a C/S ? If you did,then I have no advice for you. Carry your cross.
ReplyDeleteIf you followed all advice then I wish you the very best.
Let this be a cautionary tale to all the "Hebrew women".
Better freaking listen to medical advice.
Don't go to quacks. Consultant ,senior registrar or no one should be your mantra.
Hmmm.........what women go through trying to birth children, may God give you perfect healing and gladden your heart.
ReplyDeleteTime they say heal all wounds .....
Sending you hugs 🫂dear
ReplyDeleteYou will be fine in no time. Keep all hope alive . Follow and practice good hygiene while waiting. Love to your baby and God bless your husband real good.
What women go through to give birth ehn .I'm sure you will find more answers on YouTube. My own is that something still pops out of my anus when I do number 2 since after childbirth. I need to stand up for it to slide back in. God help us
ReplyDeletePlease, go to a Teaching Hospital and get your surgery. Divine healing to you🙏
ReplyDeleteMay God bless baby and your family🙏
EUM Cali
Warm hugssss to you poster, you are a strong woman. Kindly go to a teaching hospital or any federal medical centre in your state for the corrective surgery.
ReplyDeleteSending you ❤️💋💓🌹 poster and I pray for Divine healing, restoration and visitation upon you and the baby ❤️🌹
ReplyDeletePeople saying poster should have opted for a CS, please stop! This was her first delivery, and it is very likely this happened due to several factors. A big baby is one thing, a competent midwife is another. I have witnessed petite women push out 5kg babies in the hands of experienced midwives with the aid of proper perineal guidance and a well timed episiotomy.
ReplyDeleteAnd for those arguing about VVF and such, here's a little clarity
A vessico vaginal fistula (VVF) is a hole between the bladder and vagina causing the leakage of urine.
A recto vaginal fistula is a hole between the rectum and vagina causing leakage of stool.
Most likely cause of both holes is prolonged pressure on the muscle wall, which cuts off blood supply to the area and necrosis of tissues.
Asides fistula (holes), a woman can sustain a tear that goes down to the anal sphincter (that ring on your outer 'nyash' that you squeeze to hold in the hot shit). These tears are prone to breakdown in most cases as they are unplanned and have jagged edges. Which brings us back to midwife experience, perineal guidance and episiotomies which creates room for the birth and ensures a cut with clean edges that are easier to repair.
Dear Poster, my heart goes out to you for what you are going through, but I want you to know, it can be fixed. Give yourself time to heal like your doctor suggests. Maintain a high level of hygiene around the area to preserve the tissues. Love and take care of yourself
All my love to you ❤️♥️