"Many African men are raised to lead but not always taught how to lead with a woman who can lead too.
Many women especially those who have built their own are taught to protect their independence but not always taught how to be vulnerable without feeling small.
So what starts as love becomes a power struggle not because they don't love each other but because no one taught them how to love each other's strength without feeling threatened.
This is the root of so many unspoken fights, resentment, distance, ego wars and sadly many never talk about it they just drift.
One of the most untalked about issues in modern marriages especially among African men and powerful issues is the silent battle for identity and control.
It doesn't always start as conflict infact it begins with admiration. He is drawn to her strength she is attracted to his confidence.
But somewhere along the line unconsciously ego meets ego
Pride meets independence Culture meets ambition"
Word!
ReplyDeleteVery deep observed word.👏👏👏
ReplyDeleteWord on marble 👍
ReplyDeleteI agree with him 💯
ReplyDeleteAfrican men especially naija men are threatened by successfully women. Even when married, some of them are envious of the success of their wives and the wife on the other hand won't want to be a pushover.
It’s a global phenomenon.
DeleteNigerian men at all levels are DEEPLY INSECURE
DeleteMehn!!! You are so on point Ik🙌
ReplyDeleteThey jonse.
ReplyDeleteGod's instructions is simple.
The women are the one defaulting because they lack understanding.
Men should always try to end up with women that are genuinely their help meet.
Every man has a woman who is genuinely interested in him to see him attain that kinship status and is willing to honor him.
That's the kinda women men should go after.
Men you have no business marrying a lady you know is not of a help meet to you genuinely.
All these ladies complaining they all have one man in their life time they genuinely sincerely love and would gladly be a help meet too...what's then the issue ?
When you wana see someone succeed you help ...support be a source of strength and pillar to the person.wihtiut grumbling and all.
God created women to be a help meet and to nature until they understand this I all humility problems go dey
All nonsense. Everything you said is rubbish 🗑
DeleteIs it possible, that I can help man, whilst holding my own too, without making him feel small?
DeleteThat term help meet has been used to vilify women from the dawn of time. The unrealistic expectations some men have of their wife, may as well they just marry their mother.
DeleteSubmitting one to another
DeleteLeading sacrificially
Clapping and being supportive of her wins
ARE BIBLE BASED
Oppressive and sabotaging men are not following the Bible
@13:10
Delete"Is it possible, that I can help man, whilst holding my own too, without making him feel small?"
Yes!
The key is in your both hands even from your question.
It is the woman holding her own and helping a man who can make the man small if the man wants to be made small.
However, marriage generally appears to be mostly a sacrifice or more of a sacrifice by one of the partners. Hence we see on this blog and most places that those who praise their partners the most cannot or do not say what they do or did to make their partners so good. They only talk about getting, receiving or freedoms given by their spouses
Unless treated and done as a hard cold nose business arrangement, marriage is mostly a funny and very nearly phony arrangement. Unfortunately, there is not much of the so called "fun" in it when it is done in cold blood.
Well said @11:15
Delete👌
ReplyDeleteThe guy is intelligent sha. Forget. He writes so well. This is the 2nd time i am reading his write up here. The first was a little over a month ago.
ReplyDeleteThat's if he's not copying from somewhere not known.
DeleteCarefully observed but that Holy Bible verses about submission and love, no matter how we coin marriage issue to be, those verses summarised it all.
Bible talked about Love and submission, and not submission and love. God knows that it is possible to submit to a man who in all sincerity doesn't love you. However, there's no how a man will genuinely love his woman that she will subconsciously submit. Let the men stop twisting the Bible to suit their narrative.
DeleteHe made some salient points
ReplyDeletelol. His wife is as submissive as they come. So wetin happen
ReplyDeleteWhen you hear stories of spouses jealous of each other, competing with each other it just boggles the mind. Unfortunately, for many such wisdom only come after they made their own marriage mistakes. Marriage classes don’t go so deep.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, I agree with him.
ReplyDeleteIt's all about being insecure on both sides.
👌👏👏 nice write up
ReplyDeleteWE MOVE!!
Coming from someone that has treated women very poorly plus abandoned his first child. No child supports
ReplyDeleteI agree with him
ReplyDeletehmnnnn
ReplyDelete