S-H-O-C-K-E-R!!!
My husband is a happy go lucky kind of person. Always cheerful no matter what life throws at him.
In May he came back from work one evening very excited that he will be among his colleagues that will travel to South Africa that month for a seminar that will last for about 2 weeks.
He is mostly happy because he has never been on those trips unlike most of his colleagues that has traveled severally. And these trips comes with fat bonuses.
He couldn't stop talking about the trip and all the sightseeing is looking forward to. They finally traveled: we kept in touch for the first 2 days then no more communication. I tried calling my husband but his phone was switched off. I was very worried.
I started thinking of a lot of terrible things that could have happened considering how South Africans hate Nigerians for no reason. My husband finally called and said he was coming home, just few days into the trip. I was happy to receive him back home, excited to hear about the trip. But something changed.
I think my husband was switched in South Africa because the man that came back is a total stranger. He became distant and cold towards me but a little bit friendly with the kids.
He moved into the guest room, he will lock himself inside all day, he won't come out to eat or even talk to me. I have asked him severally what the problem is but he just ignores me. He acts like I don't even exist.
As for his job that is a no go area, he doesn't even want to talk about his job or anything that is related to him going back to work. Then something said I should go through his phone this is something that I have never done in the 7 years of our marriage. His Friend came around to visit because he has been unable to reach him through his phone. He was distracted. I saw this as an opportunity to snatch his phone and go through it.
He had several WhatsApp messages 80% of those messages are from his boss. It's a bit confusing because the messages were one-sided, my husband never responded to any of them.
So I scrolled up and started reading from the beginning. "I know this is your first time, don't worry you will get use to it" "Stop acting like a child, soon you'll like it more than me" another chat, "you are now my pet, I told you I always take care of my pets" "did you receive the 2m that I sent to you"
What is this? Was my husband r**p*d by his boss? Who happens to be another man. What can I do to help him. His boss is a very powerful man. Will my husband ever tell me what really happened in South Africa I don't know what to do. Please advise me on what to do.
😮😲 Eweeeee.
ReplyDeleteI'm not surprised one bit! The number of MDs and CEOs that play for the other team in Lago, Abuja and Ph is freaking highhhhh!
DeleteAfter the first few lines, I already knew that was the reason. Quite a number of people are being initiated into this lifestyle and enticed with lavish lifestyle. Keep a close eye on your hubby because for someone who doesn’t embrace such lifestyle, it is mentally disturbing to get over what he experienced.
DeleteHe will be pressured to give in or resign. Watch whoever comes from the office.
How do you want to help him, when he didn't talk to you about it. You kinda have small evidence, but you can't tell him you snooped, cos it might backfire on you.
ReplyDeleteBackfire for what? All the poster need is showing him support. Between backfire and watching her husband become agaygay which one is better.
DeletePoster act fast.
Hhhhhmmnnnnnnnnnn
ReplyDeleteOh dear😭
ReplyDeleteHe's traumatized and going through all alone..I don't even know what to say but follow him gradually,he will eventually come around..
Tell him what you saw. Don't judge him. Slowly let him tell you all that happened. Tell him you understand. Team up with him, let him regain back his sanity and come out from the shock before he goes in deeper into the land of no return. Then put up a plan together to deal with that boss from hell.
ReplyDeletePoster act fast oo before he starts enjoying it cos of the benefits.
Things are really happening.
You made a lot of sense
DeleteThese stupid fags will not do whatever with their kind, they will busy eyeing straight men
DeleteGod forsaken lots
This.. poster read this advice o
DeleteOMG!!!! This chronicle messed with my psyche for some seconds.
ReplyDeleteWhat??!!!!
Ma'am, your husband is obviously traumatized. I'd have suggested you book a therapist for him.
Ah! Things are really happening.
What's it with some of these rich and powerful men with sodomy even?
Kai! Nawa!
You see a traumatised man. I see a man who has no principles. He wasn't forced was he? Or is the threat of losing his job greater than his promise of fidelity to his wife? He got paid for offering himself to another man. That should do nicely to assuage any 'trauma' he has. Rubbish.
DeleteTypical D O G talking like a fool! No compassion or empathy. What if he was drugged?? Do you think all rap1sts ask you nicely before they carry out their act? Be very careful o. Being drugged is more common than you think. I'm just glad these perverts are now turning to their fellow men.
DeleteRead again, the man came back and doesn't want to talk about his job nor go back there. Where in this chronicle sound like whatever happened was consensual?
DeleteDog, you analyzed it as if you were there or know what truly transpired. Did you even consider if he was raped? Or You think that's not possible because he's a man? Or drugged or whatever? Please don't try to castigate the man except you know what really happened. And you saying he was paid, what if the boss just transferred the money to him even without his consent cos as his boss you should know he will definitely has his account details. Abeg, show some empathy
DeleteYou need to shut up.
DeleteMadam your husband has been graped .
He needs to resign or ask for a transfer. He also needs therapy urgently.
Also report the monster to the police
May God give you the wisdom you seek.
ReplyDeleteO dear, poor man was r@ped by his boss and is traumatized. I pray he doesnt harm himself. May God give you the wisdom to handle this well.
ReplyDeleteAct fast now. Whether counselling, spiritually, resigning from that job, telling immediate family members, etc. Just seek help now. Do not delay. Send the messages to your phone as evidence and ACT NOW.
ReplyDeleteKai this isn't nice at all.
ReplyDeleteYour hubby is traumatized and withdrawn.
Tell him you know me assure him that you're there for him and don't judge him. Talk him into needing a therapist.
Let me just sneak this in here. OP the Nigerian cybercrime act that is now operational makes you snooping on your husbands phone a crime punishable by 5 years. Just so you know.
ReplyDeleteAs for your husband, I won't say he was raped. He was a willing participant. So now that you know, why not go shopping for some sexy lingerie for him? He will need it. In the meantime, you have to start planning your exit strategy. Gather and keep as much money from your husband as you can. Don't let him know you know he takes it up the ass.
Hmmmmm.... Husband and wife wey go soon dey catwork for house.🤣🤣🤣.
This is nothing to gloat about Doggeity...Where is your sense of empathy and reading the room...He hasn't opened up yet so how are you so sure he was a willing participant..This is disappointing coming from you....
DeleteThis your comment Doggedity is why sexual abuse against men is not taken seriously and some men will prefer to die in silence to avoid being shamed. How are you sure he wasn't raped?
DeletePoster, please discard his claim, if his claim is true your husband won't be behaving that way at all, this is the "for better, for worse" part of your marriage, stick with him through .
Felicity
Saint phoenix, i am not Dog, but what he said is the plain truth. Most women don’t like to hear the truth. How is her hubby not a willing participant? Is he a minor? Did he kidnap him? He is also a strong and able bodied man remember? He wanted foreign trips like his other colleagues and he got it and we all know, in most work environments, some of these perks come with strings attached from the bosses. Either kick backs or sexual favors, he agreed to the terms, so how is saying it the way it is gloating? From what we just read, the messages didnt start in South Africa, he knew before he left, and that is why he got the trip. It’s simple, u either agree to their terms or u get sidelined in the office, he chose favor over dignity. Good luck to him.
DeleteDid we read the same chronicle? 😳, cause how's that man a willing participant? I can't understand how you processed this story, but there is absolutely nothing funny about it.
Deletei know you are a fool. May be the reason you are this hateful is because you are closeted. Don;t worry your time will come. Be very very careful. Karma is real Mchew
DeleteWhat if he was drugged before being raped. Have you thought of that scenario?
DeleteBV Saint I read the room alright. All I see is heaviness as a consequence of a transaction that he is taking time to come to terms with. Let's be realistic. He is a man. Another man cannot simply overpower and sodomize him. He went on that trip, put off his phone for a number of days and provided his account for money to be paid into.
DeleteTomorrow when you’re drugged and raped, people will laugh at you in the exact same way. 😊
DeleteAnon 17:45 So what is your point that he shouldn't have gone to a work related travel...I hope you know that asides from company sponsored travels, you will be given a per diem allowance...What if the evil boss knowing that he will provide his account number used that avenue to transfer money...What if he was drugged or hypnotised? Some of you just have tunnel vision...The man has not spoken. Even the poster is traumatised and you just deduced all these as willing participant...There are different sides to every story
DeleteDodgedity I am afraid you didn't read the room but I won't argue with you since you have maintained your stance...sometimes there are many roads that leads to the market...Have you heard of gang rap3 or being drugged? Have some empathy when putting your thoughts together...
@Doge his boss probably already had his account
Delete@doge you are an insensitive dog, a constipated alligator who needs to drink a jug of vinegar.
DeleteWhat???😲😲😲
ReplyDeleteMay God help your family.
May God help you through this. I pray your husband gets the right help ASAP.
ReplyDeleteThis chronicle brought tears to my eyes. The poor man is traumatised.
ReplyDeletePoster, I think you have to let him know you read the chats and don't hold anything against him so he should feel free to confide in you. Please if eventually the boss tries to bully you. Write to Stella, we will match him boot to boot and drag his behind. I hope he has not been initiated or taken any diabolical oath.
Aww I'm so sorry for your husband. He was sexually preyed on and abused. Pls tell him nicely don't judge him , console him arrange therapy for him .let him know you have his back .and quietly search for another job let him also go for hiv test . . I wish him healing.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteOMG! My mouth was open the entire time of reading your chronicle....This is the classic example of a quagmire....I can imagine how you felt reading the shocking chats and the trauma your husband is going through....I am in tears right now!
My advice will be
1. Save all those chats in your phone, emails and any other evidences with you...Gather enough evidence that you can..... Please don't share with anybody except your lawyer...Handle this discretely.....
2. Be a safe emotional space - Tell him ''I don't know what happened in South Africa, I know you are in pain but I am here for you and whenever you want to share, I am here to listen''...Please don't force to open up....He is suffering from PTSD....
3. Don't tell him you saw the messages yet, look out for signs and observe him to ensure he is not self harming......Keep encouraging him and let him know he is not alone & I believe he will share with you.....
4. Don't involve any 3rd party - your parents, his parents, his friends, work colleagues e.t.c..... I know it is hard but keep it together with you...Once your husband opens up, encourage him to see a therapist then involve a lawyer on what transpired....
It is not gonna easy but you have a lot of role to play here but please look out for yourself and seek therapy as well because it will come in handy for you....Handle this with only professionals e.g Counsellor, therapist and a lawyer.....
I am very very sorry for what happened....I am sending your lots of sugar E-hugs from here and please pray for your husband and yourself to God to help you weather this storm.....
All the best.....You are in my prayers for strength and wisdom.....
God of Abel!
ReplyDeleteThis is serious.
Stella , how far that chronicle of the lady her FIL jumped through the balcony to try & sleep with her?
Abeg post that one too
Oh my. This is so sad. What ever you do, do not encourage him to go back to work. Start looking for other sources of income or help him find another job, cos of he becomes broke, he might go back there and that means consenting to be a pet
ReplyDeleteAlso take it as a prayer project, so the sodomy spirit won't enter him .
Don't forget to drop words on paper, WhatsApp and even verbal, to let him know you got his back and willing to go through whatever it is with him
OMG!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is so sad😭😭
I truly hope you get good advice here
Hmnnn..."nkan nbe".
ReplyDeleteHaaaa
ReplyDeleteSo your husband was suffering all those days you were worried. He must have gone through a lot.
Who knows if he drugged your husband's drink with an aphrodisiac or sleeping pill and made a video of them engaging in the act showing only your husband's face and body. And he later used the video to threaten your husband to comply further. Let husband go to the hospital for health reason what if he hurt him without protection and let your husband also visit a therapist.
Poster act fast ooo
He shouldn't go back there because the man would want to continue from where he stopped. I doubt he is the only one that has happened to, consideringthe boss said he has pets.
DeleteAlso you both would be making a big mistake if you look at the situation with ordinary eyes. Go into serious prayer and fasting as soon as possible and pray that all lost glory of your husband be returned. Engage in warfare prayer.
Your husband should return the money after praying, if he doesn't, he can give it out as alms but don't spend it.
Poster, take the advice anon 16:49 has given you.
DeleteThis is really a shocker. Maybe you should press harder. He might tell you. He is definitely in shock.
ReplyDeleteOmg!!😯 What is this?
ReplyDeleteYour husband is traumatized. May God see you through and give you the wisdom you'd need..
Dear Poster… hmmmmm
ReplyDeletePlease don’t tell him what you saw. Just try and be as supportive as you can. Pray for him openly and privately. Be gentle and firm with him. I’m so sorry you both are going through this. He was likely raped by his boss. It’s a hard thing for a man or anyone to process.
One of the very few times I read Chronicles with a pounding heart before I got to the end. So sad.
ReplyDeleteI pray he gets all the help he needs at this trying time
ReplyDeleteDon’t ask him anything
ReplyDeleteNot everyone wants to share embarrassing things
Instead just treat him as normally as possible
He also probably might be waiting on test results to be sure he won’t infect you if the act was unprotected
Poster, it's likely your husband wasn't taken for any job related seminar abroad. It was likely a disguise for orgies. Your husband or any other person who went there were likely used as pets over there for those days you couldn't reach him. Who knows maybe this is what the other bosses who came for the fake seminar that lasted just two days instead of 2 weeks did, instead of getting willing escorts. They lure straight men into the acts and start calling grown men pets.The fat bonuses received by those who went earlier could have been the tip off for the services rendered.
ReplyDeleteThe seminar was likely a disguise for the main event. Your husband and maybe others was likely violated by more than one persons and made to do debased activities beyondtheir imagination and that could be the reason why he couldn't tell you. Who knows if they made them vow to secrecy.
Go to your husband and hug him tight. Tell him whenever he is ready to talk you are always near. Be fast about it so he won't harm himself with the way he is going suffering through it in silence and starvation.
God take control.
Madam Prayyyyyyy
ReplyDeleteYou see English leave am
You see plenty explanation leave am
Your husband is on a fence now to go with the flow of remain the person he has always been
He is fighting
Madam praaaaaaayyyyyy
Prayyyy oh
Raise altars
Consecrate yourself
Gather your children
Pray
That rich man is backed by spirits
He is not alone
He is using his altars to fight your husband into submission
The only thing that can knock out his influence is another altar raise in righteousness
Stand up and decree
Start praying long prayers
Ask Holy Spirit to pray through you
Start chain prayer…..pray by 6am,9am,12noon,3pm,6pm,9pm,12
Keep at it
Invoke the blood of Jesus
Ask thy the hand of the Lord will stretch out and pull your husband out
He is sinking
It’s the voice of your prayers he will hear in the realm of the spirit thy will sustain him
If your husband goes this route that slate is raised in your family
It will come for your children
God forbid
I join you in faith to resist the influence of darkness and break………….(insert his name) free
Dodson and Gomorrah
Tufiakwaa
Arise
There is war
Hmm wake up
Poster please take this advice.
DeletePoster pls take this advice.
DeleteThis is a spiritual warfare against your family & the head of your family. Pls don't relent in prayers, beg God to send the Holyspirit power to destroy this spirit of sodomy in Jesus mighty name 👏👏
Why take advantage of your husband over there when he could have done it anyway if not that the seminar was fake ochrestated by the boss. Who knows how many others innocent employee are in your husband's shoes right now who thought they were going for seminar not knowing it was something else.
ReplyDeleteBecause agaygay is legal in SA. So he can't press charges for something that wasn't done on Nigeria soil. He can however press charges for grape.
DeleteFirst, get those chats as evidence, your email will be safe for it. Get a good lawyer, cinfide in him but don't tell him your hubby's name yet.
ReplyDeleteGet the boss' no too. His full name and house address, his wife & kids, report him to God of vengeance.
Be fast.
Your husband needs encouragement and support. He needs to resign from that devilish place.
Act fast before your husband goes back to that evil man.
If I were you, I will investigate the man to pieces, his church (if a Christian), his tribe, community, just to weaken him.
The man needs to go down because he's a threat to Christiandom and humanity.
Your email is not safe
DeleteDear Poster, I'm teary and actually don't know what to tell you, Please find a way to talk to him, Hold him so tight and reassure him of your love for him. I'm so sorry this happened to your family 😔😔😔.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteWow. What your husband have experienced sounds deeply traumatic, and it’s the reason for his sudden change.
Right now, the best thing you can do is be supportive and patient. Don’t pressure him to talk, just keep showing him love in quiet, consistent ways. Let him know you're there when he's ready to open up. He needs to feel safe first.
When the time is right, gently encourage him to seek professional help. Healing takes time, but your love and support can make all the difference.
Only God can bring a permanent solution to your family right now.Pray! that's the first thing to do pls then ask the holy spirit for help. He will surely come to help.Sin has already been introduced into this home and that's the weapon of Satan, his aim is to steal our joy and bring in confusion which will lead to sorrow.
ReplyDeleteYour hubby has already been involved in this ungodly act and he needs God's help to get out.
This is just heartbreaking. There’s no way he could have willingly gone along with something that was so clearly wrong. What’s really tearing him apart right now is trying to make sense of how someone he looked up to—his boss—could do this. It’s like everything he thought he knew has been shattered.
ReplyDeleteNow he’s starting to wonder if everyone else in the office knew something he didn’t. If they’ve all been part of this somehow. That kind of doubt messes with your head, especially when you feel blindsided.
He’s carrying so much right now—shock, guilt, betrayal. It’s no wonder he’s gone quiet and shut down. He’s not ready to talk because he’s still trying to make sense of something that doesn’t make any sense at all.
He could have done it willingly and now regretting
DeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteFirst, I just want to say this plainly: you’re not crazy for being confused, scared, or shaken by what you’ve found. And you’re certainly not alone. This isn’t something most people know how to handle, because no one teaches us how to react when someone we love returns as a stranger, carrying a wound too heavy to speak of.
Your husband didn’t come back from South Africa the same man. That’s clear. What’s not clear is the full story of what happened, but the pieces you’ve found paint something horrifying. Whether it was coercion, blackmail, abuse, or some twisted manipulation, the man you love has been violated in a way that shattered his sense of self, safety, and identity. And didn’t just take his joy, it kidnapped his voice too.
And now you’re left in the dark, trying to hold him together, and hold yourself together too.
The silence, the avoidance, the coldness, it’s not personal. It’s the shocking disbelief of a man whose spirit is stitched together by discoloured trauma, disorienting shame, and a fear so loud that it barricades him from light. A deep unspeakable pain at that.
So what can you do?
Not everything at once. But be his home, offer him refuge, become the quiet water he can sink into without drowning. And these few things matter too:
Don’t pressure him. He’s drowning. He doesn’t need questions or judgment. Just let him know, clearly, softly - that you see he’s hurting and that you’re still here. Not going anywhere. Say it with your voice, with your food, with your presence. That’s what trauma needs: not interrogation, but safety.
Keep the evidence safe. You did nothing wrong by checking his phone. You followed your instinct, and now you know too much to ignore. Forward those chats to yourself quietly. Don't use them against him. Keep them in case he ever finds the strength to fight back, or if you need to help him later. But don’t bring it up now. It’ll feel like a betrayal, even though it wasn’t.
Don’t tell anyone else yet. Not your family. Not his. Not your pastor. Not even your best friend. People will give you loud advice with little wisdom. What this situation needs is calm, clarity, privacy, and careful steps.
Find a professional, not a religious leader. A trauma therapist. Someone who has handled silence like this before. You don’t even need to take your husband there, go alone if you have to. Let them teach you how to support him without breaking yourself. Let them help you make sense of your own pain too.
Watch him closely, I didn’t say guard him, watch like someone who loves him too much to let him disappear. If you ever notice extreme behaviours (not eating, sleeping too much or too little, neglecting hygiene), do not hesitate to call for help. Act fast. Don’t wait. Get help - involve family, before they accuse you of killing their son.
Forget pride. Forget the image. Forget shame. This is not the time for “what will people say?” or “how do I fix this marriage?” What matters now is one thing: rescuing a man you love from something that’s swallowing him whole.
The culprit will answer one day. But not now. Now is the time to save the one still within your reach.
Please, love him without condition right now. Even if he’s silent. Even if he pushes you away. Even if he never tells you what truly happened. Sometimes, healing begins with knowing someone stayed.
I won’t lie, this will be very hard and difficult to bear. But if you hold him with grace, if you hold yourself with grace, and if you move with wisdom and quiet strength, this darkness will not win.
I'm praying for light in your home again. One breath, one moment, one day at a time.
You’re not alone. God is your strength.
Scrolling from below, I knew you were the one and to be sure, I had to check the name before moving upwards. Always typing novel from Chatgpt.
DeleteOne of the craziest stories I've ever read. This is so terrible. I don't know how to advise on this situation
ReplyDeleteLet him resign o. Are you working? You need to support the family whilst he searches for another job. E no go better for that boss
ReplyDeleteDon’t resign
DeleteThis went beyond gay sex.. There were initiation,oath,threat and lots more.And the boss might be very powerful.please continue to pray for your husband and the family and show him more love and support
ReplyDeleteCall his original self back through prayer. Go deep into the manifestation kind of prayer calling his original self back and disconnecting him from any ties he had while out of town.
ReplyDeletePoster, I pray that God will hold.ypur hands and that of your husband and carry you in His victory through this delicate season of your life.
ReplyDeletePlease there is a Christian film titled Chains, I will advice you to watch it and raise an altar before God to counter the claims of Satan on your husband. Secondly, let your husband resign from that job immediately. Things will never remain the same. These sexual perversions have spiritual undertone so you will need to go to war to destroy the claims of the devil over your husband as a result of whatever happened in South Africa.
Well, I do not think he is as ignorant as it seems. he probably felt he would be able to withstand. I don't know your religious affiliation but you both need God at this time more than ever before.
This makes me wish I was stupendously rich, enough to send 10 years salary so this man can walk out the job without any thoughts as to the economic fallout on his family. Dear poster listen to all the advice about praying very hard and loving him to wholeness.
ReplyDeleteHe was raped and deeply traumatized by whatever happened which makes rape a plausible scenario. You are 7 years in the marriage, are his parents still strong? How exposed and supportive are his parents? If they are educated and very supportive, I suggest you confide in the more matured of your Father or mother in law about this after all he is their beloved son and the last thing they will want is for a depraved sick bias to damage the son they raised well over these years.
Do you have a good job and income that can tide you over so he leaves the place of his trauma which is the job? There is a reason sexual harassment is evil. Rape is even more evil regardless of the gender of the victim. The power imbalance is bad enough, the boss may be a powerful man in the industry or society which is probably making him more afraid.
1. Go to God in tears, prayer, calling out his divine destiny in Christ as a man created by God to be his own, pleading the blood of Jesus for mercy.
2. Tell him what you saw, in love, empathy and without judgement, lovingly let him know with reassurance that you are not blaming him and are willing to make any financial sacrifice to ensure he is ok emotionally and healed from the trauma. Including quitting the job. He has to quit and heal.
3. It’s a long tortuous journey to trusting humans again but God will do it. It is however easier if he is able to talk about it without shame. That way he can talk to God and you both can pray him to deliverance.
4. Is he very close to a parent? Are they strong christians? If he is, confide in one of his parents in love.
5. I’m praying he comes around and you both can pray about the trauma. Go to MFM Prayer city and join Corridor prayers. God will heal him enough to trust again.
6. He should also go for therapy.
Since I started growing spiritually with the help of Dr. Sacre, who has been a blessing to my life and has taught me many spiritual steps to achieve anything in this life, and he also helped me to get my ex-lover back and also helped me to heal from childhood trauma that was affecting my life, I have grown better financially and many more. Life has been wonderful. Whatever your question or difficulty you are going through right now, reach out to Dr. Sacre; he will surely help you out. Call/WhatsApp +234 907 603 4359. You can also email him at sacretempleofpower@gmail.com. He will be willing to answer your question and bring a solution to your problem.
ReplyDeleteMr.Zachary Dennis
United States