Let us talk about Marriage and being pressured to get married from a certain age....
Why do some women allow people to pressure them to get married?
The Single Blog Visitors here i need to know, is anyone pressuring you to get married? Are you dating someone who has not yet told you where the relationship is headed? Can fellow BVs give tips on how to get a man to propose if he is taking too long? Were you pressured into marrying him? How is it going?
I'm on this table. This man won't leave me alone.
ReplyDeleteHow can I politely tell this man to stay away from me, without insulting him.
I can't be a 3rd wife, just because of money.
He want a nurse as a wife. Send one of your wives to nursing school now. Must it be meπ’
Abeg rest . Oniro ofo
DeleteBlock the parasitic man
DeleteI was not pressured to marry...
ReplyDeleteInfact, my mum was concerned when I told her I wanted to get married at 23... She asked me if I was pregnant... I am glad I made the right decision
I found a good man and even though we are not where we want to be, at least we are far from where we used to be ..
“Stella ehn, the pressure to marry is not just societal — for me, it's biological.”
ReplyDeleteFive years ago, I had a myomectomy — a surgical removal of fibroids. At the time, I thought that was it. I was relieved, hopeful. But now, the fibroids are back, and this time, my doctor says another surgery isn’t advisable. So, here I am, just managing myself — physically, emotionally, and mentally.
You want to know how I cope? I wear adult diapers during my period. The bleeding is that intense. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve felt overwhelmed, exhausted, and even embarrassed by my own body. It’s tiring.
To make it worse, no man is in sight. I’m 36 years old — no boyfriend, no romantic “situationship,” no prospect. Just me, my job, and the four walls I return to every day. And yes, I’m a good girl — I’ve lived right, stayed respectful, upheld my values. But does it even pay? Because right now, it feels like it hasn’t.
People call me a workaholic. They think I’m just obsessed with my career. But what they don’t see is that my work is the only thing that gives me a sense of control. If I can’t control what my body does, or who shows up in my life, at least I can excel at work. I can pour all this pent-up emotion somewhere.
Am I pretty? Yes, people say so. I look at myself sometimes and agree. I was raised well, taught how to love and care for a home, how to support a man, how to be a wife — yet I’m still here. Single.
Sometimes, I wonder:
“Is there a curse somewhere? Why does it feel like I’m being punished for something I can’t even name?”
This life no balance, Stella.
There’s so much pressure — from society, family, my own body. And I’m just trying to survive.
Let me stop here.
But just know, if no one else says it: I am trying. And that should count for something.
You’re strengthened sis . May God make all things beautiful in your life in Jesus name , Amen .
DeleteAww, e-hug to you dear. God will come thr' for you . Delay is never denial. Some started early like Me, but lost everything in the name of Marriage. Still grateful to God not where I used to be .
DeleteHe will do it when the time is right π
Please ask for Jinja Hernal.extract
DeleteIt helps in managing heavy bleeding due to fibroids. As for marriage. I don't know your religious orientation but turn to God. He never fails. May His grace and mercy find you.
You need a new doctor pls
DeleteMany thanks for the comments all. Yes I forgot to add that I am a born again Christian. Currently fasting and on the alter of fire as well. It is well.
DeleteChai sis, e-hugs to you. If you were married and done with child-bearing I would have suggested the hormonal iud birth control. I was in your situation years ago, in fact, at times when I aim to get up from the bed, the blood would just flow uncontrollably, sometimes staining the sheets.
DeleteI had to go for the iud as suggested by my dr. Now my periods come as they should, very little bleeding, the only side effects I experience is occassional mild headaches which I can manage with water or pain relief tablets.
Speak to another doc about this sis, while you do that, please review your diet.I wish you well.
E hugs π« dear, I know how it is, I know, please cut sugar and sodar out of your diet too, avoid bread too, eat more vegetables and eggs, if you can, cook with coconut oil avoid all these vegetable oils in the market. Go green. π«π€ Continue praying, God makes everything beautiful in his time
DeleteIf you can travel out prayerfully and get second opinion
DeleteWhen it comes to marriage pressure, especially for women, all I hear is not just frustration but fatigue - emotional, physical, existential. The pressure to marry isn’t just societal; it’s internalised, biological, and spiritual for many women. It’s cruel how timelines are stamped on female bodies, not just by culture, but sometimes by conditions out of our control.
ReplyDeleteSome are gaslit into waiting endlessly for men who won’t commit, for whatever reason(s), while others are coerced into marriages they never desired - just to silence whispers. These armies of a storm rarely care about personal readiness or emotional safety. Yet, being single isn’t a failure. Our worth isn’t tied to someone choosing us. We're not broken, cursed, or forgotten. We’re surviving layers of expectation - with grace. And that counts.
Healing begins when we stop seeing marriage as proof of value, even if that's the expectation culture and society have set for us as a landmark. Seeking wholeness is a better option than being rescued. As with choosing joy, over timelines. It's imperative to set boundaries like sacred ground. And please, we don't apologise for prioritising our peace over their pressure. We are already enough.
Being a "good girl" - respectful, virtuous, self-sacrificing - has long been marketed as the recipe for early marriage. But life isn’t a moral reward system. Marriage, as evidenced, isn’t a medal for obedience but availability and presence. Many kind, principled women remain unmarried, while others marry young without ticking those boxes.
ReplyDeleteGoodness is noble, but it doesn’t guarantee a partner or protection from loneliness. Grace, love, and timing don’t always follow logic. You’re not unworthy - just on a different path. And that path is still valid.
Life, in essence, is not a fair trade. The grace of marriage doesn’t always reward virtue; it often rewards visibility, timing, boldness, and, sometimes, luck. “Bad girls” - or rather, women unafraid to take up space, ask for what they want, or bend rules - may simply navigate relationships with less guilt and more strategic wisdom of compromise.
Meanwhile, many “good girls” wait quietly, hoping goodness alone will be enough. But the world rarely pauses to reward silence. Love isn’t a moral prize - it’s a puzzling adventure of messiness, human negotiation. Where life plays no favourites in the draw of who gets what - fate acts on balance.
In my thoughtful opinion, most "good girls" are often conditioned by: a narrow religious mindset, and the wait syndrome for a knight in shining armour. Whereas, the so-called "bad girls" often act in contrast as Dames with shining lights hunting for a knight with armour.
De center men and marriage
DeleteRemove the idol and hold GOD
With GOD all things are possible
The personal pressure on oneself is more
ReplyDeleteMarriage is destiny and only God can call one into an enduring union and religion, age, pedigree etc is not a guarantee for anything. When we choose to follow societal and family expectations and pressure, some burn their fingers. Many ladies are fortunate to meet and marry good spouse early or later while some are not. Some were very wild and still ended up with good men while some who were well brought up and kept their virtues till the day still ended up with beasts and murderers. Another thing may be spiritual- evil foundation, wicked relations, spells and enchantments of the wicked etc. All in all, marriage is not the gateway to Heaven or fulfilment of purpose. Just pray that God guide you aright to your own God-ordained mate, destiny and purpose and not another woman's property.
ReplyDelete