Hmmmmmm......
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
SUSPICIOUS HUSBANDGood day Dear BVs...
I never thought i would ever drop a Chronicle and I had in time past been mean with the advices i gave but guess who needs advice nw and scared of being bashed? ME!
I am suspecting that my wife is dating another married man in the same street that we live in, I dont know if it is in my head or not but the signals are strong and a gateman in another street that i have been very nice to was the one that alerted another gateman that alerted me...So its talk among the gatemen.
The man lives alone in a big house he built while we live in a rented house..His family lives abroad and rarely visit but he is always away visiting them....I dont know what he does and he is presently not in town and my wife suddenly has my time again...
She used to be friends with the mans wife before he relocated them so she is not a new person to the house...She told me that the man gave her permission to oversee some things with the staff in the house anytime he is away, i didn't see anything wrong with this until the gossips started...
I don't want to confront her and be wrong but my gut feeling knows she is having this affair....She looks like she is in love with this man cos her behavior now is how she is when she was in love with me newly but the feeling is not directed at me...
I also don't want the gatement to lose their jobs because i cannot employ them....
I dont have the means to hack into her phone....
What do i do? If i confront her without proof, there will be trouble!
Please help me and dont be mean with words.
Oga you cannot tell us how to react, especially as you are about to accuse your wife wrongly with your yeye gut feelings
Imagine going to sit with gatement to gossip about your spouse? gatemen and housegirls that are known to carry out heavy gossips?
Please do not ask her anything until you have concrete proof or you have the concrete proof and look for how your confrontation will not end your marriage before you confront her......Cos you cannot tell me that even if she is wrong, you will send her packing...women forgive all the time so please even if it is true, forgive her and start again...
Well done sah!!!
Get your proof, and confront her. Simple.
ReplyDeleteSir,it's only in your head. 🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteMight not be, people cheat everyday.
DeleteDear kings community member. Life is funny huh?
ReplyDeleteMy question is, if you trusted your wife when she told you about managing the house in the man's absence. Why are you now doubting her because of gossip? Remember some people misinterprete things and this could be one of such situations where the gate men have misinterpreted.
To clear your conscience, how about you tell your wife what is bothering you? You can actually ask her for her phone and go through you know? Why; are your phones private?
I sincerely hope this is not true. Sorry about how you are feeling.
Thank you..
DeleteYou already knows she's over seeing the house so she goes in and out of the house, definitely gossip will start..
Confront her to know what's up..
Why are is she locking her phone?why don't you have access to her phone..
If you want first-hand information about events in a household, the gateman and house help are often the best sources. It’s clear the gateman knew something before he told you.
ReplyDeleteSir, do everything possible to discreetly check your wife’s phone to save yourself the constant stress of suspicion. If possible, ask the gateman for proof. You can also plant hidden cameras.
If it turns out she is indeed cheating, protect the gateman’s identity and quietly, maturely file for separation if you can’t handle the emotional toll. Don’t fear that the man might marry your wife; if you separate, that would be a betrayal of her relationship with her friend’s husband.
Above all, ensure you have solid evidence. Don’t ask unnecessary questions, act before it’s too late, make dem no go carry another person pikin give you...
Apt!
DeleteHmmmm.
ReplyDeleteGo and get how to hack her phone
ReplyDeleteStella????
ReplyDeleteReally ?
Excuse me @Jeweuchi
DeleteWhat do you mean by Really
I trust is not what is in my mind.
You don’t have to tell her who told you. You can simply say that there is talk in the streets that she is having an affair with the man and it has reached your ears. Ask her to stop going to his house alone and that you will both go together to deal with whatever he wants you to take care of. Tell her not to go into the home of the man if he is there alone, he can visit your house or they meet on the outside and conduct whatever business openly,
ReplyDeleteRemind her that she is your wife and any talk, even idle gossip affects everyone in the household not just she, and you do not want the family stigmatized in the small community. These are not unreasonable requests and she should be able to do. If she becomes belligerent and adamant that she does not care and will do as she wants then meet the man directly and tell him to end their arrangement, letting him know of the accusations and you do not want any stigma.
If you want to snoop, then that is up to you. I would not ask her if she is cheating outright, but address the rumours and make suggestions. If you get proof that she is cheating then you
I agree with you 💯. Poster let her know there have been filters on the streets, she does not need to know where exactly the gossip is from.
DeleteI can actually teach you many ways how to spy on her whatapp but save money for HBP drugs,( God forbid that)...... no need to even spy her chat.
ReplyDeletePls stop your wifey from going to house, your instinct is not lying to you, A married woman shouldn't be gallivanting around the neighbourhood naoo but stop her right now or caution it and try to take your mind away from that direct....
Mind you: you are not bn insure or overacting because if na you dey run this kind settings, that your wifey go don go confront the woman directly or indirectly.
Naso one babe tell to stop responding to a neighbour's Greetings becos she flirtly compliment me in her present
Naso mama later concluded say we fit dey tear for back but I give No I will always respond but i reassured her say if I wan cheat I promise to go far from home lol
So brotherly put yourself together again .
Goodluck
The house*
Deleteposter nothing too serious may have happened yet, she may just be infatuated with him and he may have started confiding in her, giving her money and complaining about his wife so as to make her more infatuated and smitten, especially as it sounds like he is wealthier than you.
ReplyDeleteBetter to get proof like seeing if you can find any messages on her phone or when he is around and she is not at home - paying him a surprise visit to see if she is there. once you have proof you can then decide what you want to do. she may apologise and be willing to end the affair or she may be unrepentant. you also may want to forgive her, especially if there are children involved.
make no decision to end the marriage until you know what is at play. I would also recommend you pray about what is happening and ask God for wisdom, His counsel and His direction. God actually cares and He can help you handle this with wisdom.
I pray this advice helps, blessings!
Nigerian men don't forgive a cheating wife. It will continue to be used against you in the marriage till eternity.
DeleteShe is cheating.. most ladies here will tell to go get concrete proof but if it is a lady that wrote this chronicles, they will flock around her..
ReplyDeleteShe is cheating on you..
Confront her straight and take action.
gatemen, cleaners, security, house helps have first hand information about a lot of things happening in their environment. These people city at home, they monitor the street and areas, they don't go to work like you do or have no time to see things. They only told you a tips of the gist, they expect you to do your finds before confrontation. What if what they said is true, what if what they said is not true? do not end your marriage with unverified information, it was only a tip and not the sure or main gist because no one cut her pant down, so confronting people with the word dem say dem say.
ReplyDeleteIf you need to follow her around or pay a detective abi you want to hack her phone just to her concrete evidence before you confront her, please do. Because of what you heard from the gatemen it could be the reason why you are adding one or two words together to believe she is in love again or saying that was how she was when you both fail in love. Don't let your mind play a fast one on you.
Lastly, if you know that you have been clean without anything cheat or dating her friends. Is time to fast, pray, ask God to reveal those secret, she is your wife and not your girlfriend. Don't say what you are not sure of cos that could destroy your marriage or love forever. You gave room in the first place by allowing her monitor that family or house in the first place, because you gave a small space for air to pass through. You may see earthquake happening. The lord will give you wisdom to handle this issue without destroying your beautiful home.
My brother, be careful. Gossip from gatemen is not proof, it might be true, it might be lies, and acting on it without facts can scatter your home. Watch her actions, but don’t rush to accuse without evidence. If you suspect something, quietly gather proof or have a calm, honest talk with her.
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, fast and pray. Ask God for wisdom, and if you can, watch the film War Room, it can help you pray with strategy, not just emotion. Also think deeply, if it turns out to be true, can you afford to divorce her? Both financially and emotionally as you've mentioned that the man is richer than you. Sometimes the decision after the truth is harder than finding the truth itself.
If you don't have evidence, wait till the man gets back, then monitor her movement. Don't confront her now
ReplyDeleteThere is already a red flag how will the man give your wife power to oversee their workers in his absence ?they don't have relatives ;as per proof just go to her mobile provider MTN or Airtel asked for call log of say one year duration
ReplyDeleteI have been married for 32 years and I don’t get why people cannot broach some topics with their spouse. Tell her you are uncomfortable with her closeness to another man especially in his wife’s absence. If she accuses you of not trusting her tell her she would make the same request if tables were turned and you are only trying to protect your family. Even if the gatemen gist is inaccurate, there is already an appearance of impropriety in another woman overseeing a home in the absence of the wife of the homeowner.
ReplyDelete“Let him that thinks he stands take heed left he falls” what if the man walks in on her alone in the house while “she is overseeing stuff”? They are adults and should not be in close proximity so often in a home setting with bedrooms and all when they are not family or married folks. “Take heed”.
If she refuses to voluntarily relinquish the caretaker position, I will find a way to anonymously hint the man’s wife so the pressure can come from her. Nigeria is hard and economic pressure makes some women commit adultery so don’t put your wife in a vulnerable situation where she goes to the joke of a wealthier neighbor and begins to lust after material things you cannot afford. She is human and fallible.
Also shaking my head with Stella and her advice
ReplyDeleteYour gut is right. Now what are you going to do about it?
ReplyDelete