SMELLING MIL
My Mother in-law is so dirty and telling lies is her hobby. My husband wants to stop her from visiting us ever again cos she is bad influence on the children. Imagine, you have not bathed and the children know, I will ask you if I should boil your bathing water and whether you are ready to bath now and you will say you have bathed, with a serious face. The children will be amazed and come tell me that Grandma has not bathed, "why is she lying?".
This is just one of the many lies. Meanwhile she stinks, as in serious smell. Who should wake up and bath? Who should bath at night before bed?Her room stinks despite everyday cleaning, toilet not properly flushed.
There is limit to how I can talk to her cos she is not my mother. If it was my own mum, I would correct all the ills in her. Her lies and others things will stop.
Now, husband is saying she will not visit us again. He too has tried talking to her whenever he witnesses one of her vices cos he is not always at home and we don't want it to look like I'm reporting her and want to cause division.
I hope they won't say it is me that told hubby to stop her from coming cos I am not the one who brought the idea. The man has been complaining about the smell from her room filling the whole house. He said she has always been dirty from way back as far as he can remember. That they children were the ones doing the cleaning when they grew up.
*I Feel so bad reading this...A mother should be priceless no matter what she is going through and treated with respect!
She may have mental health issues and that is why she is cut off from her reality and not even aware she smells..She may not necessarily be lying but in her mind she has had her bath..Mental health issues is real..All she needs now is love......A lot of it and a lot of Patience...Keeping her in a home with kids is not a good idea....Please be easy on her.
They will still talk na, but abeeeegiii, ignore them. But how come she is dirty. Jeeeeez. That's one thing I can't stand.
ReplyDeleteAbeg rest. If it were to be your mother you for no talk like this 🙄
DeleteDear Poster,
DeleteI agree with Stella! She has some underlining mental issues....I feel for her honestly...However, please both of you should not stop at sending her back, see if you can seek professional help for her.....Maybe she needs assistance too...
I know it's not easy but still treat her with grace and respect...Thank you...
All the best....
We know all these tricks by badly brought up wives. Would you treat your mum same way or allow uour brother's wife to treat your mum in like manner? I don't blame you, it is the foolish and useless child called your husband that I blame, for pandering to your dislike of his mum. A similar issue happened between my brother/wife and my parents two decades ago. My parents were falsely accused by the scanned wife and the imbecile of a brother sided his wife and cut off my parents from themselves and grandchildren. Fast forward to now, my parents are late and the truth is revealed - his marriage to her has packed up and brother is wallowing in regrets and trying to reintegrate into the family.
Delete18:10, it's you and your brothers that are foolish and useless. You and your brothers did not have good upbringing, your parents did a bad job on you all, that's why you came here to call a grown man names.
DeleteEwu..
Anonymous 18:10.....please don't use your parents case to judge another person's family ordeal...heal from your trauma bro!
DeleteThis case is not about your parents..be within the context. Are you for real? So, I won't be able to put my feet down and correct my my mum, also see through the results. I find your analogy very funny. It is clearly more difficult to deal one's MIL, cause cautions must be taken, before the wife is accused of different things which in turn, makes result harder to achieve. 18:10, take our trauma off this case!
I don’t support dirtiness especially from an adult but imagine your child gossiping you to his wife that he’s going to stop you from visiting.
ReplyDeleteYou poster asking a woman you know she find it difficult to bath if you should boil water for her to shower, why not boil the water and tell her Mummy Oya come and shower. Even if she lie you can tell her mummy I know you’ve not taken your bath I want to see you bath. Abi e get another serious lie wey she dey tell? Poster if na your mama you no go stop her from visiting rather you’ll make sure you help her improve her hygiene cos most elderly people behaves like children.
Abeg I no won talk my mind before dem go begin attack me
Fan, she is not up to 70. I knew her over 20yrs ago when we were still in school, she has always been like that since I knew her.. If you boil water and tell her to come and bath, she will tell you that she has bathed, with a serious face. If you tell her that you know she has not bathed, she will ask you whether you are implying that she was lying. As for the lies, the bathing own is one of the minor ones, she tells heavy lies and also lies on people.
DeleteIf it was my mum, I will take steps to correct them and she will not see them as insult.
You both should pls handle her with love.
ReplyDeleteis there a way you people can get a nurse who can always assist her or a girl that will specially attend to her whenever she is around? are you saying if she was your mum on this condition and your husband want to stop her from coming to you house, you will be okay with it? She is his mother, you people should find away to manage her no matter how she smells.
ReplyDeleteIf you stop her from coming to your house, people and her other children will tag you a terrible wife. She only visit and may stay few days, weeks or month and go back to her base. Allow someone to take care of her while she is around and make her feel loved please. Is not easy but you can do that for her, remember that someday you will also be a mother in-law to someone. Will you be happy if she treats you that way?
sit your husband down and speak to him on this, she should come to your house anytime she want to. Talk to your children not to see grandma as a lair because they may speak to other children about it.
In this condition**
DeleteFind a way**
It's not easy**
Its not like they are pursuing her into the bush naa, I am sure she has a home. Let her go there. You talked about the other children tagging the wife as terrible, let her go and visit the other children too. Kids being uncomfortable in their own home is not a good thing.
DeleteA former colleague, whenever she was treating itching in the vagina, she wont wash the pussy for some days. Na she tell me oo. She said water makes the place itch her and the drugs might not work. So make una check if mama dey treat infection.
Excited, she is not old like that level of needing assistance to bath, she is in her late 60s and still very active.
DeletePoster, you are very rude in the way you write.
ReplyDeleteIf you cannot correct her with love, then kindly move to the BQ and leave your husband and kids with Mama in the main building.
I honestly wish your mother-in-law could send in her own chronicle here, because I know you must have been dealing with her silently — I know your type well. I detest it when people disrespect someone’s mother or start making unnecessary rules about them.
There’s a very wealthy man on my street whose mother has a mental condition, yet the way they lovingly correct and care for her is remarkable. This is the same woman who sometimes eats and spills half the food on the floor, but none of that changes the fact that she is still his mother.
Now you want your husband to send his own mother away? Wow, that is pure absurdity! If you cannot correct her with love, then endure it — let that smell choookeeeeeeeeeeeeee una well! 😡
You are the rude one. Poster just said it was her husbands suggestion and you’re still blaming her. You must be unwell
DeleteJerry you are right the wife is playing mind games simp husbandry I blame
DeleteYou think I will come here to clap for rubbish?? HELL NO Poster I wish I know you in person...... ehhhh weytin I for tell you on this your post you GO go sit for middle of road with pure water dey cry....
DeleteI love children that honor their parents alot.. Dnt mess with people's parent( if you are my sister ehhhh I go put you well in your place with your yamayam character)
The way some of you type here that's how toxic una dey for real life..
Some men dey marry kaya condem say na wifey
Poster, I go with what Stella said. I could be mental issues. Just find a way to balance it so that you won't look like the bad woman
ReplyDeleteAww this is so sad we ge weaker when we ge older and we forget things a lot.
ReplyDeleteI have been self reliant a lot, yet only me forgot I had kept something safely somewhere and was panicking. Then only me attempted to flush 3 times before i fetched water to completely flush.
She may even be in worse shape.
She may need a loving nurse that will guide her till she figures the areas of weakness and where she can still help herself.
And even if it is a mental case (no insults meant at all), she can still live a meaningful senior life.
Stella maybe right! This might early signs of dementia! I work in an old people home in Norway and this is exactly how some of the old people behave to bath is a problem. Sometimes we the staff have to force to bath the person. But by law we don't force. Try new methods like telling her that you guys are going out to church or family outing and she has to look her best. When she goes to bed gather her clothes and wash. I know it is not easy but with loving and persistence you can get her to bath and change clothes. Because personal hygiene is very important with old people. They need to be clean and fresh so that they live longer. Dirtiness kills fast than any sickness!
ReplyDeleteThe only time you've ever used your red pen well
ReplyDeleteShe might be showing early signs of dementia and no one knows. Bathing is always a problem for them. I hope she is diagnosed and treated early and managed too for the sake of the children so they don’t feel lying runs in their family’s blood.
ReplyDeletePls treat her with love, i have seen some elderly mothers that has dementia, taking their bath is always a problem, you need to be patience with them, even some after eating, they will denial no food has entered their mouth....treat her like she is your biological mother
ReplyDeleteStella you said keeping her in a home with kids is not a good idea, you also said they should show her love and be patient with her, where should they now keep her?
ReplyDeleteMaybe they should rent or build house for her and employ a maid to care for her. They should visit her once in a while and stay for only a few days. If they can afford it.
I hate bad hygiene and will hate you immediately. Horrid smell hunts and disgust me. Ewwww
ReplyDeleteSDK thanks for posting, I never knew you saved it to post here as chronicles.
ReplyDeleteShe left this morning cos some of her grandchildren are living with her. I heard from her that the children steal.
Why won't they steal when you that is their guardian lie like a crook.
Stella she doesn't have mental problem or forgetfulness that comes with age. She has been that way since she was younger. I have seen it for years. Her son also confirmed it
How sure are you she doesn’t have a mental illness are you her doctor or have you people taken her to a mental facility for proper checkups?? I don’t blame you sha na the efulefu son I blame.
DeleteThe hate in you is not hidden, calling the woman that birth the man you called husband crook,your karma is near,I blame the mumu son that married you.eat the house,may the Almighty God keep you alive,you will grow old and visit your sons wives.
DeleteYou are actually a badly brought up woman - horrible, horrible and horrific human being. Your nemesis would be your future daughters-in-law.
DeleteBenny, someone that has been lying since I knew her when she was my age? Lying and stealing go together. I dont behave like her, I also have a mum who doesn't behave like her, so how will my son's wife treat me? I don't even treat her badly. I care for her like my owm mum despite her flaws.
DeleteIf not for the fact that I like you, I would have given you a 'better' reply.
Omoale ni e . See as how you're calling her crook !! Thunda fire your dirty mouth. Is your own mother clean ?? Bomboclat !!!
DeleteThat one na husband?? I wish I could give him a resounding on that coconut head, your mother should leave? Will leaving solve problems? You called her a crook?
DeleteYour children has a criminal granny ni period
You this poster, you are clearly the one feeding your hubby info about his mom.
DeleteI can bet you nag him every hour just to make him move his nom out.
The way and manner you sp.ak about your mom Inlaw says alot about you and I feel really sorry for you.
As "dirty" as you claim she is, she raised those kids.
You will be a mom in-law someday and will experience worse treatment.
Shame on you!!
Stella’s comment was touching but then I remembered her son says she has always been like this
ReplyDeletePls drive her
Your children shouldn’t deal with this dirt and smell
That’s just nasty
L
Another omoale spotted
DeleteYou don't like the woman and you are indirectly pushing your husband to take action against his beloved mother while you look like a helpless bystander.
ReplyDeleteYour mother-in-law has dementia. My late maternal grandmother had dementia when she lived with us at some point and I didn't figure this out until when she left our house.
She would use the toilet and not flush it but when she is asked, she'd insist that she flushed it. I became resentful towards her until she left. I think about all that transpired and I am full of regret. I wished I had tolerated her more, loved her more and showed a little bit of understanding. I didn't know what dementia was at the time. To me, she was a dirty, lying old woman.
Was your mother-in-law like this when she raised your husband? Be honest with this question and you will have an understanding of what is going on.
Even if she was like this when she raised the son at what age did she give birth to the son, a lot of health issues starts from 30ties. Why not teach/correct her in love. If na her mama I’m sure she wouldn’t be writing this.
DeleteShe doesn’t have dementia
DeleteShe’s dirty and has been that way all his life
Hubby says so
Pls they should send her packing
Let her go be dirty somewhere else
Her you the one that gave her dementia?
DeleteWait, are you now saying that there are no dirty people? As in people that are deliberatly dirty.
I'm just laughing at y'all comments
I don’t want my mother in my brothers house when the time comes
ReplyDeleteI want her with me
I make provisions for her even now
She owns a school,grew it from scratch
She raised me and my siblings
I have and will always show her love and uttermost respect
My home is open to her yesterday today and tomorrow.
My father too
There’s a limit someone who isn’t your child can take
I may not fully understand this poster but she’s well within her rights on her boundaries
Like she said if it was her mom she will know how to handle it
Thank goodness my mother did not have sons and don’t have to deal with daughter in laws from hell. Every woman seeking a child should try to have even one girl child. I see my aunt who only had sons and her dils are not close to her or even do anything special for her.
DeleteOP, you sound very wicked. Your tone shows no empathy, and yes, I am certain that you are the one instigating your husband to send her away.
ReplyDeleteYou are now a mother, be careful the seeds you sow cos don’t be deceived you will reap accordingly.
The fact that you have the audacity to open your rude mouth and tell us that your equally ill mannered children can come to you saying mama is lying, tells a lot about the sort of person you are!
As for that your husband, he has zero sense!
So he wants to chase away the woman that bore and raised him? The same Bible that says a man shall leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife, is the same Bible that says honor thy father and mother that your days may be long!
If you like, push your zero sense husband to dishonor his mother!
But know this, your own dishonor is waiting for you.
You will surely not escape it!
SDK, please post oh. The truth needs to be said.
Grazie.
It's you and your siblings that have zero sense. He wants to chase away his mother , how?
DeleteYou are a fool and comprehension is far from your brain.
I can relate.You and your husband should continue to show her more love by giving her money and gifts and avoid visitation at all cost
ReplyDeleteImagine the OP’s comment. I was thinking my response was quite harsh, but her comment confirms my earlier assertion.
ReplyDeleteYou are a very wicked woman and rude woman, raising ill mannered children and will reap the consequences of your evil deeds.
Imagine calling mama a crook.
I pity you, you may think you have your husband in your corner but he will secretly resent you for this. That is assuming he has sense sef.
Like I said before. You are a fool.
Delete18:51, keep crying and defending yourself all over this post. We know your type.
DeleteAnd no, 16:59 is not a fool, you are.
Don't mind her - she is AZEN
DeleteHmmmmm.
ReplyDeleteLack of words because this has to do with an old woman. The son already put his foot down.
May God help us in old age.
My grandma had dementia and one of the earliest signs was a lack of attention to hygiene, nobody wanted to believe she was in mental decline until she forgot them all. If your Mil is not unwell then it may just be the process of aging as she returns to her original self, many children hate bathing and parents have to be on them so it may be that she was one such child. The lies may simply be forgetfulness and confusion as her brain changes.
ReplyDeleteI would suggest that your husband take her in for medical evaluation. They can run tests to determine her state of mental health. Early intervention can slow the decline, if untreated it may develop in unsavoury ways. Please stop all accusations and hateful feelings and start praying good health on her. Families sometimes do not want to believe what is right in front of them and instead of educating themselves prefer to remain ignorant.
Feed her foods and herbs associated in healing memory problems.
That woman is not pretending, she has health issue. Speaking from experience. My grandma (paternal) lived with us. hers too, she will tell you she had taken her bath when sometimes the water we boiled and kept in the bathroom is still there. We had to clean after her sometimes she will not flush well). It was bad that seh will even tell you she had not eaten since morning (this may be at 6pm) meanwhile she had eaten twice before that time.
ReplyDeleteOld age for some comes with a lot of issues, show that woman some love.
For my grandma the signs showed years in advance. At that time knowledge was not as easily accessible as it is today. Nobody knew for years. I think ppl think dementia is an overnight thing or everyone has the same symptoms and the forgetfulness will show up first or be the most dominant symptom. Sometimes the forgetting is the last thing to show up and is not a dominant symptom. Looking back, the signs were always there but nobody clued in, nobody. A few years before she forgot everyone she became deeply spiritual even more than she ever was and not too long after she just went silent. Thankfully she was always a calm mild-mannered person so she never became violent or was a flight risk. She spent the rest of her years silent and calm until she passed. How dementia shows up and progresses is different for everyone.
DeleteVery unfortunate 😔😔😔
ReplyDeleteSome of the comments here suggest that there are no dirty people, only old people with dementia are dirty, is this true?
ReplyDeleteSo who are the dirty wives? Dirty girlfriends? Dirty husbands and boyfriends that don't flush toilets after use, the ones that don't bath, the ones with dirty smelling panties and boxers, the ones with smelly armpits, the ones with body odours due to dirtiness, the ones that don't tidy their rooms and kitchen, the ones with smelly wigs and bras, the ones with brown singlets, the ones with smelly shoes, etc?
I laugh at some of the comments here today.
So the Chronicles and comments about dirty wives and husband were lies? The Chronicles about lying men and women were lies?
If there are truly liars and dirty people, won't they grow old? Will their habits leave them when they grow old?
A woman in her late 60s who has always been dirty and lies a lot is who you are saying has dementia.
Ok o.
God bless you for this comment. She doesn't have dementia she's just dirty due to other factors not related to dementia regardless she still deserves all the love and care
DeleteFor the very first time in history here some female bvs no support bad character. The old mama head strong indeed
ReplyDeleteSo what advice do you want ?Stella has said it all mental health is a problem especially in this side of the world ,you and your husband should treat her with care but if you treat her well while will you care what others will think except if your conscience is judging you that you are wicked better repent because karma is real
ReplyDeleteI don't think she's mentally ill. Some people are just naturally dirty. Very unfortunate
ReplyDeleteDoes she lie about other things? You said lying is her hobby. How old is she? I ask because, from personal experience, elderly people tend to skip baths-of course there are always exceptions. So if she lies about bathing then I’d say it’s probably because she doesn’t enjoy that activity. Does she have any mental illness? Or any other conditions?
ReplyDeleteI don’t think gra gra will help. Talk to her or you can find a way to connect bathing to an activity she enjoys. Don’t isolate her from her son or grandchildren and please don’t disrespect her. I understand that it can be very frustrating but respond in love.
See comments oo chai😳
ReplyDeleteMine is,dear poster, you are a woman and we women are always seen as once with calm spirit and eyes. Your husband may forbid her maybe beacause he is not close to her before now but you don't have the right to do that also,ask yourself what if she is your mother,will you throw her away?and remember even if na mad woman nothing changes her from been your mother so it's left for you to take care and correct her in love very important
Do you know that you can easily change her attitude or dictate her mental stability with love you show her?
Please calm down and read,some of the comments are reasonable including Mammi Stella own, don't argue or conclude blindly on her mental stability
Wishing you guys good luck 👍