Hmmmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
BETRAYED
Please i need advice on this issue that has made me depressed for months...
I am a single mother of a 7yrs old child, my baby daddy left me when my boy was 3yrs that he is no longer interested in the relationship, my child stay with me but his daddy is the one paying all the bills...
So early last year I decided to give love a chance and met this single guy in the state I went to serve, I told him from the start that I have a child and he said no problem that he is fine with it.
During the middle of the year, he told me he want to marry me and I said hope you remember I have a child and I want my child to continue living with me once we marry because I want him to bond with his other siblings and he agree with me even told me he will start looking for nearby school to enrolled him.
So few weeks to the introduction he called me on phone that his people are ready to perform all the rites and I asked him have you informed your people that I have a child especially your mum and he said no and I told him to inform his people ooo before they will take any step and he said okay....
I noticed he stopped calling for some times and one fateful day he called me on phone that he don't want my son to live with us that Esan culture doesn't accept it, he even said the child will make me be communicating with my ex and I say okay what if I take up the responsibility of the child without the father he still insisted that what if something happened to the child I will still have to call his father that he doesn't want another man child under his roof....
My child needs motherly care, I can't drop him with my parents....I feel betrayed and the only thing in my mind is to placed a curse on him because he makes me loose other guys that was actually interested in getting married to me
I have heard a lot about Esan men..Just be glad that you didnt marry him...Go and do thanksgiving..he would have married you and made your life hell....Thrown out your child as well....
Please i need advice on this issue that has made me depressed for months...
I am a single mother of a 7yrs old child, my baby daddy left me when my boy was 3yrs that he is no longer interested in the relationship, my child stay with me but his daddy is the one paying all the bills...
So early last year I decided to give love a chance and met this single guy in the state I went to serve, I told him from the start that I have a child and he said no problem that he is fine with it.
During the middle of the year, he told me he want to marry me and I said hope you remember I have a child and I want my child to continue living with me once we marry because I want him to bond with his other siblings and he agree with me even told me he will start looking for nearby school to enrolled him.
So few weeks to the introduction he called me on phone that his people are ready to perform all the rites and I asked him have you informed your people that I have a child especially your mum and he said no and I told him to inform his people ooo before they will take any step and he said okay....
I noticed he stopped calling for some times and one fateful day he called me on phone that he don't want my son to live with us that Esan culture doesn't accept it, he even said the child will make me be communicating with my ex and I say okay what if I take up the responsibility of the child without the father he still insisted that what if something happened to the child I will still have to call his father that he doesn't want another man child under his roof....
My child needs motherly care, I can't drop him with my parents....I feel betrayed and the only thing in my mind is to placed a curse on him because he makes me loose other guys that was actually interested in getting married to me
I have heard a lot about Esan men..Just be glad that you didnt marry him...Go and do thanksgiving..he would have married you and made your life hell....Thrown out your child as well....
Listen up, any man that cannot make up his mind about decisions and has to listen to what people say is a red flag, do not marry him at all.
What is wrong with allowing another mans child in the house? this is why the Oyibo man is better, he will marry you and adopt your kids as his if you allow him.....A woman with three kids was thrown out by her man and was not able to find love.....Last year, she met someone who married her and accepted her three kids....She is presently in the diaspora with them, all enrolled in new schools and she also went back to school.
Nigerian men are very annoying with the way they have branded and labelled baby mamas...
Please dont stop telling anyone you meet how much you love your son, do not marry a man that will ask you to remove your child from his house when you both have an altercation....
Move on but don't give up on love.
ReplyDeleteI have nothing to add to Stella's advise. How do I link up with a better white man?
DeleteI have nothing to add to Stella's advise. How do I link up with a better white man?
DeleteOne sided chronicles all the time. You didnt say why your baby daddy left you, despite taking care of his son. It shows he is a reasonable and responsible man. I hope you allow him unrestricted access to his son? Some of you ladies have very nasty character and attitude, hence abandonment by men who are meant to get married to you. Getting married to single mums or dads are very complicated - so many dynamics sooner or later in the relationship.
DeleteAnon 19:42, the chronicle that I read has nothing to do with the ex. So how is it one sided? She clearly stated the baby daddy is responsible.
DeleteMore often than not the relatives of a lot of single young men will not support their brother marrying a baby mama.
DeleteCut your loss, grieve for the disappointment from this relationship and keep it moving. What value will placing a curse add to you or your child?
" Hell hath no fury as a scorned woman" " there's a thin line between love and hate, how quick it's to cross it.
You are feeling cheated, like he wasted your time and denied you opportunity to go with someone else. How are you sure the others would have married you? Looking back honestly he may have been the one with the brightest chance and most suitable character for marriage, FORGIVE yourself because you didn't know it would not be. Cry, then pick yourself up, hug your boy and go make money (it gives you option to spoil your self).
PCX
JustSwt, if she is a good and well behaved girl, the baby daddy who she confessed to be a responsible person, would not abandon her. Same thing the new guy has seen and used the little boy & baby daddy as excuses to discard her.
DeletePlease, do not drop your child with your parents. He NEEDS to be with you. A man that loves you, loves ALL of you. Guyman knew from the onset what he was going to do the moment you told him about your son. A better man will come along.
ReplyDeleteGuess he finally told his family and this is their advice
ReplyDeleteRubbish
That is a huge lie, he doesn't want to marry you anymore.
ReplyDeleteLet him go, being single is not a disease. In all that you do, do not ever leave your son behind all in the name of marriage.
God has better plans for you.
ReplyDeleteThank you Stella,you have said it all,dear poster,that man was not meant for you,don't worry someone better will come.
ReplyDeleteGod will bring you a man that will accept you and your son. Do not drop your son for him.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, God just saved you from the wickedness of that man.
ReplyDeleteBe happy that you escaped a very wicked man, He would have made your son's life a living hell, So take it easy ok. You will see a better man.
ReplyDeleteDon't bother cursing him..
ReplyDeleteGod will give you a better man..
Dear Poster,
ReplyDeleteAbeg he is not man enough! Forget his tribe and whatever....He is a liar! Which Esan culture says that? Instead of him to man up and say he no do again......Do you even need his parents to give consent to take the child of the woman he 'claims' to love....Look! Any man who doesn't love your child does not love you at all....So there is no room for compromise here....God saved you and God will give you your own man who will love you and your son.....
See when you meet a real man, he will feel slighted that you ask to get consent from his parents because he is man enough to make his own life decision and chart his life course...His parents will come to accept it.....Please date men not boys tied to the aprons of their parents....
All the best.....
Don't blame him we have seen bbymamas go knack their exes over and over again. Reason why Nigerian men aviod alot of them. Poster can you tell us your attitude that made a man walk out after having a child bond with you before you marry baby mamas plsssssssssssssssssss ask questions. I watched a video recently a baby mama advised his son never to marry a woman with a child that only weak men do, she said create a family as a man not join a family. This was coming from a white woman so stell not only Nigeria even some women here will not advise their male child to settle for bby mamas . All these cut and join stories eslf
ReplyDeleteAnon 16.35, it’s true. The issue with babymamas and babyfathers is complex. Single people with no kids need to be aware.
DeletePoster. I feel for you because he has let you down. Allow God to lead you. Even people without children can be disappointed or even while in the marriage itself. Take one day at a time and stay positive. Your child is more important than anything or anyone.
please no need to place any curse on him, allow him to go freely. God will pay him pay when the time is right, if a man cannot accept or love you with your child please let him go. You child is very important to you, allow him go in peace. You can look for a man with a child too that way you both will have to accept each other.
ReplyDeleteMay the lord heal you and bring your way a man after his heart amen.
Don't blame her we’ve seen baby daddies go back and sleep with their exes over and over again. This is why a lot of Nigerian women avoid them. Poster, can you tell us what attitude made a woman walk away after having a child with you before marriage? Baby daddies, please ask yourselves some hard questions.
ReplyDeleteI watched a video recently where a baby daddy advised his daughter never to marry a man with a child, saying only weak women do that. He said, “Create your own family as a woman, don’t join someone else’s.” And this was coming from a white man — so clearly it’s not just Nigerians. Even some men abroad won’t advise their daughters to settle for baby daddies.
All these “cut and join” stories sef.
Really only weak men marry baby mama's woow, I dare say only strong mature men can take care of kids who are not theirs. go figure!
ReplyDeleteYimu
Delete*yimu
DeleteI think you already know that you have to drop that relationship. Never marry anyone who speak with two tongues. Telling you one thing but easily swayed into another. A timid man is a waste of time. Many ppl believe they can do a thing until the eyes of many are on them and tongues start wagging. A brave person fears no legion.
ReplyDeleteBe grateful my dear,you guys were not meant to be!God has safe you from battles ahead too big for you to handle,do not curse him.sending you ❤️🥰 I'm a proud single mother too don't care about marriage.
ReplyDeleteNow all of you want to change mouth and join her to curse the man telling her she dodged a bullet, as if his fears are not valid. Same you people have been reading here how babymamas continue sleeping with their baby daddies, most of them that wrote here have not let go of their babydaddies, some of them, it is the wives that have written in to complain that she snooped and found out that he was very much in touch with the babymama. Don’t forget she said she is very much in touch with her baby daddy cos he is actively taking financial responsibility of their child. How many men will truly be comfortable with such? Their wives still communicating with another man and taking major decisions and even meeting up when the need arises? Yes meeting up because of the kid, may be in his school or hospital.
ReplyDeleteOp, i’ll be honest with you, these are some of the things you would face from time to time as a baby mama, so brace urself for it, the society is unforgiving and judgmental, they would judge you not the same way they would judge ur baby daddy. Get ready. Upgrade urself and take care of ur child, if love comes, fine, if it doesn’t, take it as a sacrifice and the price u paid for being a baby mama. All these their examples of a woman with 2 kids or more having a man marry her, are all exceptions, and rules are made on generality not exceptions. Do a reality check and talk to baby mamas in real life, ask around, u would find that ur struggles are similar.
Good luck!
That's why I said I'll never remarry. Nigerian men will hardly accept the kids as his. Let me stay with my kids in peace
ReplyDeleteStella have said it all. Move on from him. He will not treat your child right even if he only comes to visit
ReplyDeleteFunny how everyone is now on; the man is wicked, not a real man etc. Only when a man becomes a mugu, that most of you will hail.
ReplyDeleteThe same women who can't settle for less are the ones still crying wolves coz the man had to sit back and rethink his decision to marry and additional baggage, and instead of taking his final decision in good faith, the pay back has to be laying of curses. How many curses have you placed on the baby daddy? Am sure for now, none coz you're still benefiting from him.
Very many of you are plaque with the repercussions of back to sender curses you have been placing on innocent people just coz they made realistic decisions about their relationship with you, reasons why many of you remain single and bitter all the time, with no headway in life.
Pls tell them - they want to carry baggage from their wrong choices/decisions in life into young men's lives. Curse the young man na, the curse will return to you.
DeletePoints made.
Delete