RE - MARRIED SIDE BOO
Hi Stella
I’m the chronicle poster of 1st Oct. (Click HERE)
I thank everyone for their wise counsel.
A lot of people mentioned he just wants to “Nack” and move on.
I honestly don’t think this is the case here. The agreement to a no sxx arrangement was actually a very mutual decision, not just from me, it was also his idea. Sxx is not really an issue for him as he is very well to do and in position of power.
Women throw themselves at him a lot and some even hope to tie him down with pregnancy and what not, so if he wanted sxx every day he would get it at no cost. But we took this decision because we were very intentional about what we wanted from each other from the beginning. He also already has the number of kids he wants and so is also very wary of sxx because of pregnancy …and stds.
I believe we clicked so easily because he also lacked emotional intimacy with his wife just like I did, so it was a major factor that brought us together. He actually feels sxx is overrated and said he has never had sxx with a married woman and would never do it, not even with me.
And Like I mentioned earlier he has never ever tried to initiate or coerce me into intimacy with him like most Nigerian men would have attempted by now and we’ve been together over 3yrs now. The few times we made out I initiated it and he was the one that eventually stopped us. I later realized I was ovulating (reason I was overly touchy) now he jokingly asks me to check first with my “woman calendar” before we schedule to meet up anytime.
Granted, He does struggle with his sxxual urge like any healthy man would, we talk about it openly and find other ways for him to relieve the pressure which he has been managing well so far.
What we share is really beyond sxx and I feel we were able to reach this level of emotional intimacy because we put off sxx and invested more in getting to know each other deeply. There’s absolutely nothing we don’t share with each other. We have a zero judgment space for between us and are able to truly be our most true self around each other, something we both don’t have with our partners.
Having him in my life is a special kind of experience for me, a safe space where I get to share my innermost thoughts and feelings without judgement something I yearned for, pleaded for, for over 10yrs in my marriage and constantly got dismissed as overly emotional and nagging.
Few years ago I would have judged anyone in a similar situation but life has taught me otherwise. So I don’t even feel bad reading the “judgemental” comments condemning my actions, that used to be me too.
In finding my side Boo, it feels like I found a piece that completed my life.
He is an absolute kind soul with a loving heart, gentle to the core and very empathetic. I do not know anyone else in this life like him.
He knows me more than anyone in this life, my flaws and insecurities, yet loves me so completely and so selflessly. When I fell sick and was hospitalized last year, he was there 24/7, never left my side for a minute, I ended up not informing my family as he took absolute control and made sure I got the best care and treatment possible.
But if not. I’m happy to let him go. He was very upset and emotional.
I somehow understand the underlying challenges he’s facing which was what propelled him to propose, something I’m not at liberty to share here.
We still talk every day though not as often as we used to, I do hope things are able to get back to normal soon.
Maybe sometime in the future, fate may work out a way for us to be together for good.
Thank you all for your advice.
I believe we clicked so easily because he also lacked emotional intimacy with his wife just like I did, so it was a major factor that brought us together. He actually feels sxx is overrated and said he has never had sxx with a married woman and would never do it, not even with me.
And Like I mentioned earlier he has never ever tried to initiate or coerce me into intimacy with him like most Nigerian men would have attempted by now and we’ve been together over 3yrs now. The few times we made out I initiated it and he was the one that eventually stopped us. I later realized I was ovulating (reason I was overly touchy) now he jokingly asks me to check first with my “woman calendar” before we schedule to meet up anytime.
Granted, He does struggle with his sxxual urge like any healthy man would, we talk about it openly and find other ways for him to relieve the pressure which he has been managing well so far.
What we share is really beyond sxx and I feel we were able to reach this level of emotional intimacy because we put off sxx and invested more in getting to know each other deeply. There’s absolutely nothing we don’t share with each other. We have a zero judgment space for between us and are able to truly be our most true self around each other, something we both don’t have with our partners.
Having him in my life is a special kind of experience for me, a safe space where I get to share my innermost thoughts and feelings without judgement something I yearned for, pleaded for, for over 10yrs in my marriage and constantly got dismissed as overly emotional and nagging.
Few years ago I would have judged anyone in a similar situation but life has taught me otherwise. So I don’t even feel bad reading the “judgemental” comments condemning my actions, that used to be me too.
In finding my side Boo, it feels like I found a piece that completed my life.
He is an absolute kind soul with a loving heart, gentle to the core and very empathetic. I do not know anyone else in this life like him.
He knows me more than anyone in this life, my flaws and insecurities, yet loves me so completely and so selflessly. When I fell sick and was hospitalized last year, he was there 24/7, never left my side for a minute, I ended up not informing my family as he took absolute control and made sure I got the best care and treatment possible.
The nurses and doctors all assumed he was husband and often told me I was very lucky to have such a kind hearted and present man.
I know if I agree to marry him he would be a great partner but I can’t do it, especially as our kids are still young. I would hate to be the reason his kids would grow up without him actively being in their lives.
So I finally had a discussion with him this weekend and told him I can’t leave my marriage for him. It would be too messy for both families and I don’t have that tough heart to hurt people like this especially his wife. The Guilt would kill me.
I’ve begged him to leave things as they are. We r both happy.
I know if I agree to marry him he would be a great partner but I can’t do it, especially as our kids are still young. I would hate to be the reason his kids would grow up without him actively being in their lives.
So I finally had a discussion with him this weekend and told him I can’t leave my marriage for him. It would be too messy for both families and I don’t have that tough heart to hurt people like this especially his wife. The Guilt would kill me.
I’ve begged him to leave things as they are. We r both happy.
But if not. I’m happy to let him go. He was very upset and emotional.
I somehow understand the underlying challenges he’s facing which was what propelled him to propose, something I’m not at liberty to share here.
We still talk every day though not as often as we used to, I do hope things are able to get back to normal soon.
Maybe sometime in the future, fate may work out a way for us to be together for good.
Thank you all for your advice.
Na you know him better than us.
ReplyDeleteMadam go and wed him.
This passion you’re talking about will not last. It may feel intense now, but with time, it will fade, and what will be left are regrets and broken trust. Some men can be incredibly patient and deceptive, pretending to care deeply just to satisfy their desires. From how you’ve described him, he sounds like someone who’s careful not to be accused of anything that could stain his image, especially since he’s well connected.
ReplyDeleteBut beyond him, think about what’s truly at stake. You’re both allowing your emotions to destroy the solid foundations of your marriages, homes built on love, trust, and loyalty. Your spouse has done nothing to deserve this pain. Imagine catching your husband doing exactly what you’re doing now, the messages, the secrecy, the emotional connection. How would it make you feel inside?
Don’t let a moment of passion become the reason you lose peace, respect, and a good name. Step back, reflect, and choose what brings real joy, not what only feels good for a moment.
All through the period you were sick, you mean your husband did not come see you?
ReplyDeleteSince you feel this way about your husband, you can go be with the married man, but please drop your husband's contact so one of our beautiful sisters here can hook up with him, instead of him wasting time thinking he is loved. How you see am?
Question @15:57
Delete"All through the period you were sick, you mean your husband did not come see you?"
Poster's answer in the Chronicle:
"I fell sick and was hospitalized last year, he was there 24/7, never left my side for a minute, I ENDED UP NOT INFORMING MY FAMILY as he took absolute control and made sure I got the best care and treatment possible.She did not tell her husband she was sick and in the hospital"
She did not tell her Husband she was sick and in the hospital. Ostensibly she did not want him to come or be involved.
Abi o
DeleteI don’t think any married man will take such risk. What if God forbid, anything had happened to you, how will he inform your family? Was he not afraid of uncertainty of life, especially during periods of illness.
DeleteNne biko this story is somehow ooo. If you feel strongly about this man, why don’t you tell your husband the story and see whether you can still feel that way again.
Youngster of these days, this world is very far oo, farther than your imagination can take you. Leave that man alone. He is not for you, he has a wife and you have a husband. Use that passion for your husband.
Go ahead then. You need no validation. Your mind is set already.
ReplyDeleteContinue in your foolery. You must think,you're special to him,more than his wife and kids.🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteShe probably is
DeleteI would marry him
DeleteYou don’t want to be called a divorcee but you’re technically divorced
Mumu woman
DeleteLol
DeleteShe may truly be because I experienced that, though I'm still single, but I rejected his wanting to leave his wife for me. We're still very close but that's all.
DeletePoster see the paragraph of poem you wrote on top another woman’s husband.
ReplyDeleteIf he were so perfect as you claimed he would have worked on his marriage or divorce his wife since and look for a single woman but no he chose to pour his emotions on another man’s wife while “neglecting” his own wife.
I did not judge you the first day cos I don’t judge cheating wife but you have no reason believing a man that is lusting after another man’s wife, that is what the Bible calls covetousness.
I only support eat and clean mouth so once you go dey mumu dey fall in love you are no longer my friend.
Fan o 😂😂😂
DeleteContinue in your foolishness even if you are thinking in future his wife will die or your husband will die for you to be together,you are fooling yourself .Very disgusting I wish I know your husband and just tell him to relieve you of you burden of idiocy
ReplyDeleteContinue in your foolishness even if you are thinking in future his wife will die or your husband will die for you to be together,you are fooling yourself .Very disgusting I wish I know your husband and just tell him to relieve you of you burden of idiocy
ReplyDeletePoster, you already know what you want from the word go... As your mind is already made up! So why bring the issue here for public opinion again? You mean you are looking for supporters club???
ReplyDeletehehehehehehe!!!! I dey laugh.. madam, you know what you want, go for it but be ready for the consequence.
ReplyDeletePoster, you know what you want from the word go... As your mind is already made up! So why bring the issue here for public opinion again??? Abi na supporters club you dey find ni ????
ReplyDeletePoster, you are looking for people to tell you to go ahead with the man, when you know your mind is already made up... Why bring the issue here again?
ReplyDeleteOh, how I wish I could write so convincingly as the woman who is deep in adultery and bent on continuing! They write so well; exceedingly well each time.
ReplyDeleteWho will read this lucid and persuasive brief and not grant this woman what she wish.
Did you see how with one master stroke, she deflected and trashed the advice given as judgmental? I have read on this technique. But never have I seen it used so effectively. She even completely shamed the advisors as unlearned or ignoramuses in addition. What a beauty.
All said, the Bible remains the crown of all written words. It is there in the Bible that the lips (pen tips) of a person keen on dividing a matrimonial bed is sweeter than the honeycomb. Abeg I am just comparing writings O; not judging.
And a free advert for Stella.
Tell anybody you know who is into writing to spin, bias, sell, or convince that Stella's Blog Chronicles is a free master class for him/her. See how this woman's work?
Madame Please go ahead and sleep with him make your mind rest
ReplyDeleteThey say the dog that wants to get lost in the bush no longer hears the hunter's whistle.....
ReplyDeleteI wish you well......
Bia this woman go and marry your side cock in peace. Don't bring this your mumu chronicle here again.
ReplyDeleteToooorrrr. Ife yin a d'ale o🚶♀️🚶♀️🚶♀️
ReplyDelete"Like most Nigerian men". Una must find a way to bash Nigerian men. Yet una no go leave Nigerian men alone.
ReplyDeleteThe only thing una sabi na billings. Once Nigerian men show interest in una, e don turn to una papa wey go dey pick una bills.
Yet na "Nigerian men" like s*x pass. Stop the billing, let dem stop asking you for s*x. Every time "Nigerian men". Stop following Nigerian men and they will stop following you.
Mercy Aigbe and Ehi's blood runs in you, there's nothing anyone can tell at this point.
ReplyDeleteMarried women cheat recklessly, people like you will be hoping seriously for ugly incident to happen to your partner or your sidechick/cock partner just to have them to yourself.
Felicity
YOU SOUND SO STUPID, DUMB AND DESNE I PITY YOU
ReplyDeleteI could not even finish reading your write up so irritating and pathetic
Your eyes go soon clear
I wish you well.
ReplyDeleteNa you sabi..obviously you're not planning to let go of this adulterous lifestyle..continue you hear?
ReplyDeletePoster God is giving you the opportunity to repent..think about it and do the right thing..no one is promised tomorrow.
ReplyDeleteI hope you ended it for real. Because if you don't, it will never end well for the both you and that's a fact
ReplyDeleteRomeo and Juliet well done. Na man wey dey third leg or na half man. Ok now go and nack him and test make we rest.come and tell us back.We want to learn
ReplyDeleteI honestly pray for you not to listen to wise counsel, when it eventually happened your had I know will be your comfort.
ReplyDeleteFrom this write up it's obvious that your mind had been made up before writing the first chronicle.
NB
When you leave your husband, everything you love and love you will turn against you.
Your Parents
Siblings
Friends
Colleagues
Place of worship.
Everything.
Why because, based on your confession, your husband is a good man.
Will your newfound lover he able to cope with all the pressure?
MARIGOLD.
Poster, it's so sad that you ended up with someone you are not emotionally compatible with, I nearly entered into such situation but I gave myself sense and that was possible because I wasn't desperate and am very careful in making choice when it comes to marriage. What you should have done is to look for a single guy not another person's husband. He should also look for a single lady. This thing that you people are doing is unfair to the man's wife and your hubby. I don't even know who to blame again. Those mentally unavailable people in relationships should be careful the type of people they choose. Marry your type. I can't marry some that I can't share how my day to day activities went. I can't share my thoughts with etc. Poor communication is a deal breaker to some of us. It's so mentally draining I swear.
ReplyDeleteBut poster, you are already married. Just bear it like that. The mistake has been made and according to Bible advice, you shouldn't leave your husband
Just leave her alone, lovely people...only if she could pray for her sons to jam her kind of woman......I am so pained for the husband, even though I am a woman, imagine! heaping insignificant blame on him, to justify her rubbish.. we the association of women, say..You are on your own madam...who doesn't belong to you is who you are coveting...contentment is a great gain. I leave you with your conscience , if you still have one!
ReplyDeleteIt is well, I pray your eyes is opened soon before its too late
ReplyDeletePPSTER SINCE YOU AALREADY HAVE YOUR ANSWER, WHY BRING IT HERE? BUT PLS REMEMBER TO BRING IT HERE AFTER THINGS GO SOUTH BIKO. by the way, he's screwing other girls that's y there's no pressure on you. He gets to win after you dump your husband for him cos he'll tell you to your face that you aren't trustworthy cos if you could leave your husband, then you'd do same to him after you meet someone else
ReplyDeleteWe experience temptations at different points of our life. it takes self discipline, personal principles and grace of God to overcome them. Forget how beautiful this love story is to you, Na the same people. You see all these married men with different sob stories about their wives, flee from them. They will end up making up with their wives and sort out all differences. When the time comes, they will start posting lovey dovey pics in SM. Don't make the mistake of yielding to your temptation no matter how appealing it feels.
ReplyDelete