She learnt the hard way why she was protected from her father.
She wrote:
"Early this year, January to be precise, my senior daughter left home without my consent. I was almost running mad looking for her. I had to go to the Police station to make a formal report.
You don't want to imagine the sleepless nights I had for 2 days. I prayed, I cried, I thought of kidnappers, bad guys. I knew it could never be because of a boy. The trauma was much in short.
On the 3rd day, I went to the Police station again. Just as they were about to send a signal, two policewomen came to me and asked me to call her father.
I had to explain to them that I had not heard from him in years and his 2 numbers I had with me stopped going through years back so I had not bothered to call for years. Besides, he has my number and can reach me if he wants to. My number has not changed for over 15 years.
For hours, we tried to get across to those people I felt would know his number. Finally, we got a number from one true caller list in 2020 and we called.
He said my daughter is with him. She just arrived at the park in Lagos all the way from Abuja.
I felt relief, pain, betrayal, anger all at the same time.
My daughter was communicating with her father all the while and I didn't know. He risked her life, directed her on how to go to a bus park, traveled with night bus to Lagos as dangerous and risky as our roads are.
Without a phone. She didn't travel with her phone. I have never heard or seen something like that.
When I say some men are wicked and useless, believe me. If anything had happened to her on the road, I'll be the one people would look for to blame.
To cut the long story short, the day he picked her from the park, he dropped her at his relative's house not even at his house.
For 3 months, I did not communicate with her and I believed she was fine not knowing that she was not even with him. As a mother, I felt all was not well with her. We started speaking in April. She was begging to come back home.
I told her, na lie. Things are not done like that. She must experience the reason why I stay on my own. She will have to bear the consequences of her decision.
This is October.
Since that day he dropped her in January , she has not seen him.
I have been the one taking care of her
upkeep from here since April. I would order what she needs from some vendors on Facebook and Instagram and they will deliver to her.
For 10 months, she is yet to see the man that dragged her to Lagos just to prove what I don't know. She doesn't even know if he actually lives in Lagos.
She has begged and begged to return. Now, I have no other choice but to bring her back because at the end of the day, she's my
daughter and my responsibility.
She left when she was about to start school at Bingham University. She has wasted 10 months doing nothing.
She has gone to see the other side of the grass. It can never be compared to the grass on my end.
That is why when I see responsible men that take good care of their families, I respect and regard them a lot. Some men do not believe that there are men that don't care about their kids. They are out there roaming around.
When a woman tries to protect their kids from a deadbeat father, most of the time, it's for their own good.
She has learned the hard way."
"Early this year, January to be precise, my senior daughter left home without my consent. I was almost running mad looking for her. I had to go to the Police station to make a formal report.
You don't want to imagine the sleepless nights I had for 2 days. I prayed, I cried, I thought of kidnappers, bad guys. I knew it could never be because of a boy. The trauma was much in short.
On the 3rd day, I went to the Police station again. Just as they were about to send a signal, two policewomen came to me and asked me to call her father.
I had to explain to them that I had not heard from him in years and his 2 numbers I had with me stopped going through years back so I had not bothered to call for years. Besides, he has my number and can reach me if he wants to. My number has not changed for over 15 years.
For hours, we tried to get across to those people I felt would know his number. Finally, we got a number from one true caller list in 2020 and we called.
He said my daughter is with him. She just arrived at the park in Lagos all the way from Abuja.
I felt relief, pain, betrayal, anger all at the same time.
My daughter was communicating with her father all the while and I didn't know. He risked her life, directed her on how to go to a bus park, traveled with night bus to Lagos as dangerous and risky as our roads are.
Without a phone. She didn't travel with her phone. I have never heard or seen something like that.
When I say some men are wicked and useless, believe me. If anything had happened to her on the road, I'll be the one people would look for to blame.
To cut the long story short, the day he picked her from the park, he dropped her at his relative's house not even at his house.
For 3 months, I did not communicate with her and I believed she was fine not knowing that she was not even with him. As a mother, I felt all was not well with her. We started speaking in April. She was begging to come back home.
I told her, na lie. Things are not done like that. She must experience the reason why I stay on my own. She will have to bear the consequences of her decision.
This is October.
Since that day he dropped her in January , she has not seen him.
I have been the one taking care of her
upkeep from here since April. I would order what she needs from some vendors on Facebook and Instagram and they will deliver to her.
For 10 months, she is yet to see the man that dragged her to Lagos just to prove what I don't know. She doesn't even know if he actually lives in Lagos.
She has begged and begged to return. Now, I have no other choice but to bring her back because at the end of the day, she's my
daughter and my responsibility.
She left when she was about to start school at Bingham University. She has wasted 10 months doing nothing.
She has gone to see the other side of the grass. It can never be compared to the grass on my end.
That is why when I see responsible men that take good care of their families, I respect and regard them a lot. Some men do not believe that there are men that don't care about their kids. They are out there roaming around.
When a woman tries to protect their kids from a deadbeat father, most of the time, it's for their own good.
She has learned the hard way."
Some fathers self😏, this is sad and in a way is good too. At list she won't say you kept her from seeing her father.
ReplyDeleteLesson learnt.
WE MOVE!!
**at least
DeleteUngrateful little brat!
ReplyDeleteVery ungrateful. Me go look for papa wen nor look for me? After seeing everything my mum went through for us, the least on my mind now is to look for any father even if he die, make nobody contact me
DeleteThere are many of them roaming the streets, making emergency friends in order to squat somewhere.
DeleteSo many belittle the efforts of present parents because those parents cannot satisfy their crypto and social media appetites. They are the same ones who tell their parents who sold valuable items to fund their education and trip abroad that they are demanding instead of respectfully explaining the situation they ask why the parents naira denominator pension isn't enough.
The same people who received free or subsidised fuel, healthcare, education, electricity, roads, etc have nothing good to say about Nigeria when asked by those who are decades behind paying off their student loans and mortgages.
You are a good mother. I'm happy the man showed her his true color.
ReplyDeleteIn such situations,its good to let them experience it for themselves that the grass isn't greener on the other side.
ReplyDeleteAt least she's alive to talk about her experience,the one that happened sometime ago in Delta,the poor girl didn't live to say what happened to her and they hurriedly buried her.
Indeed she has learnt, i am so sure the mum would have been heartbroken by what she did and she is a good mum for still caring from afar.
ReplyDeleteI have so many stories of children that went to look for their absentee fathers without informing their mums that has gone through hell for them.
Most of them now know the truth and are fine without their fathers presence.
It is well!
Mariam.
Whatever She's Looking For She Done See Am ..
ReplyDeleteMy Papa ,My Papa See Now Nahhh
Hello iya Boys
I'm glad she had first hand experience not hear say. I believe she won't forget her experience in a hurry.
ReplyDeleteServes her right. She left home, without telling her Mum, making her worry for nothing. As for the deadbeat father, if you didn't want your own child around, why didn't you bundle her back to her Mother.
ReplyDeleteTruly it serves her right. Nonsense!!
DeleteThey always love the parents that abandoned them seeing the one that stayed as wicked.
ReplyDeleteThis phenomenon is the reason why most black Americans that were raised by single mothers especially men don't see the value of the sacrifices their mom who stayed made instead they talk down on women and even hate them despite the fact that they were raised all their lives entirely by a woman.
Fantastic comment.
DeleteTrue. Reminds me of Esther Ideh who never knew her father but always wanted his approval and liked him more than the mother who cared for her. He even tried to use her for rituals the first tine he went to see her and she still wa ted his approval.
DeleteThis thing is psychological.
Good for her
ReplyDeleteOun oju wa loju ri! Na wetin she wan see she don see so!
ReplyDeleteYou were not supposed to buy her food too. Na wetin for make the wisdom balance. What would have happen to her from that experience she wouldn't have learnt it any other way.
ReplyDeleteA child so unwise will end up pregnant with another child for the mother to raise and for their father to blame the mother for. None of the relatives she is with will remember their son abandoned her with them and will not own up to not providingfor her adequately, not insisting the father takes care of her directly or ensuring she goes back home. All they will say is teen pregnancy is the lot of children of broken homes.
DeleteThe girl is daft. She spent 10 months away from her education and paused her life in order to embarrass her mother, only to embarrass herself and prove the mother right- only a loving parent will take out time to discipline you- i didn't say abuse o!
She is a teenage girl, if her mum does not give her food and other things, she will start following men over there and might get used for rituals or get pregnant for one riffraff.
DeleteExperience they say is the best teacher.
ReplyDeleteHmmm. This reminds me of my ten year old. I recently saw that she wrote in her diary about 4 months ago that she wants to go spend sometime with her dad but I wont allow her and her siblings. Funny thing, they went two months ago after our divorce was finalized. Thank God i told them to respect anyone they meet there not knowing that the woman he told the court was sick that is why he added her to his hmo and removed me; with his mother also telling anyone who ask her that her son isnt married. Well, in summary, my daughter came back and looked me in the eye saying "mummy, i am never going there". Till tomorrow, i hear snippets of their experience. I feel pained that they had to go through pain. Infact what pained me most was that, he didnt even tell them they would meet any woman nor introduce her to them. 'She' was in the kitchen and the kids went to greet her!. That to me seemed like they were not welcomed. Some men do not know that no matter how they want to lie that a woman is bad, they cant hide it for long. The kids will know, one way or the other! And yes, like the poster, I say a prayer for men who are present and sweet to their kids and tell my kids that they must be better than their parents. Is it double work for me? Yes because I have to be father and mother, friend and disciplinarian and many more because someone thinks once he pays school fees and the stipend of a monthly allowance court has graciously given him, that is all! Women work ooo!!! E get why!. I thank God for His grace because the insult i for dey chop now ehnnnn, I remember the insult i chop then when I was ought of job for 8 months in 2015!! It is well.
ReplyDelete"That is why when I see responsible men that take good care of their families, I respect and regard them a lot."
ReplyDeleteThank God. Plenty women are who do not respect such men. And maybe she has that respect because she now knows what it takes out of a man to do it. Women who do not know the burden do not respect their husbands or partners for it.
Clearly, the man is married and afraid of his wife. He is the typical Nigerian simp and an irresponsible one too.
You are playing with your daughters life in the name of teaching her a lesson
ReplyDeleteThis doesn’t always end well
Always let your child come home
Good for her
ReplyDeleteShe learn the hard way
Sometimes children get ideas in their heads and start thinking the parent caring for them was somehow at fault why the relationship with the other parent ended. It is very good that she found out that her father ain’t shyt then and ain’t shyt now. The unfortunate things is that if she is not strong minded that two times rejected will weigh on her spirit. It was easier to possibly blame her mom but meeting her own rejection as an older person will dim her flame, it’s the same mother who will need to find funds to get her counseling and build up her spirit.
ReplyDeleteGood for the ungrateful child
ReplyDeleteHmmm, my people, let's be gentle with the child. Some people do this for closure.
ReplyDeleteI understand that void,she was yearning to fill. But the dad is a mean one. 😔😔😔
ReplyDeleteNtoor next time , she will appreciate the sacrifices the mum made for her
ReplyDeleteThere's one british show called Save Me about a young girl who goes to look for her father and gets kidnapped in the process. What a life.
ReplyDeleteThere is a reason why generation X and beyond always give their mum lots of goodies and their Dad a hot drink like schnapps, jack Daniel’s ( for the rich) or Remy martins.
ReplyDeleteNneka!
You that not only married but procreated with a wicked and useless man nko? You too are wicked, useless and desperate O guess. Oniranu
ReplyDeleteThe ultimate protection for your kids from a deadbeat father was never to have chosen to have children with one in the forest place. Your inability to take amy accountability for your role in this is so narcissistic. How does your child leave Abuja to Lagos without your knowledge? Why didn't she feel safe enough to tell you? What was she running from in Abuja? Etc? You both failed that girl. It's a shame you don't realize that.
ReplyDeleteYou're right. A rocky place would have been better.
ReplyDelete