STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
I just celebrated my 24th birthday last month but I look older than my age because of thinking and family frustration.
UNCARING PARENT
I don't know what I'll do with my mother. My mom doesn't care if I have a good paying job or not, all she just want for you is to go out there do anything to make money and give her money.... That's what she cares about...
I don't know what I'll do with my mother. My mom doesn't care if I have a good paying job or not, all she just want for you is to go out there do anything to make money and give her money.... That's what she cares about...
She doesn't even want to know how you're getting the money or what you are doing to get the money...
The last money I sent to her before things started going bad for me was 100k and after telling her twice that I don't have money for now she stopped calling.
I called a few weeks ago and told her that I have been dreaming and seeing myself inside coffin, and I'm so scared and I was expecting her to start praying for me but rather she just said God forbid and after talking about some of her needs she ended the call without praying for me and since that day till date she has not called to know if am fine or not because she knows i am not financially buoyant for now.
I just celebrated my 24th birthday last month but I look older than my age because of thinking and family frustration.
My mama no even care if I don chop but I was once her lovely daughter when I was working hard inside cold and rain between ages of 17 to 20 and paying for my younger ones school fees but now she doesn't care cause I stopped working at my former place of work cause of my mental health like another job paying less....
Guys I'm so down.
When you noticed this her behaviour, you should not have enabled it.... You are only complaining now cos you did not have money but when you had money, you knew she was like this and didnt mind...
Is it her behaviour that put your mental health at stake or something else? Has it even occurred to you that she may also be going through something and doesnt talk about it....
Instead of feeling down, reach out to your mum and show her love..You can call her and say ''Ah mama i told you i had bad dream you didnt even check up on me''...You can even joke with her ''Mama you no remember again as i no get money send you''.Be vocal about how her actions make you feel...ha!!!
For now, focus on yourself. Talk to her when you feel ok to do so. If the attitude continues, dey your dey o.
ReplyDeleteShe’s manipulating you
ReplyDeleteFace your life
Stop calling her
Africa parents and entitlement mentality. They are the same everywhere.
ReplyDeleteOh! Dear poster,sorry about what you are going through now,firstly, your mental health must be put in check please,what's that thing that is draining you,try and solve it now,make yourself to be comfortable beacause you still have a long way to go ok,even if you are not existing they will still survive definitely,please adjust whatever it is and be stableš
ReplyDeleteThen in your mum's aspects,go to her and talk to her one on one,pour out your heart and tell her how you feel all these while she is your mother and an adult too,hope she will understand and amends things with you, Weldon my dear and I wish you luckš„°
You're doing a lot for a 24 year old, and you started taking up responsibility at a much younger age. Take a break if you really need too, you don over try. Also, don't forget to save for yourself for rainy days.
ReplyDeleteA lot of Nigerian parents need to step up and stop depending on their children. We have too many young people that are focused on making quick money to save their family and end up doing it the wrong way. Instead of focusing on their God given purpose in life.
My dear, please come closer let me tell you something important: none of this is your fault. You have carried responsibilities that were never meant for a child, and instead of receiving appreciation, love, and care, you were rewarded with pressure and emotional neglect. That alone can break even the strongest person.
ReplyDeleteYour mother’s behaviour is painful, yes, but it is not a definition of your worth. Some parents become so used to receiving that they forget their children are human beings with limits, emotions, and breaking points. It is sad, but it happens. You didn’t fail her—if anything, she failed you by putting money before your wellbeing.
The fact that you worked from 17, paid school fees, and supported the family shows you have a good heart. You did what many adults twice your age still cannot do. Please hold your head high. You are not lazy, you are not irresponsible, and you are not a bad child. You are simply drained.
Also, those dreams you mentioned? They are a sign of stress, anxiety, and emotional overload, not death. When someone is overwhelmed, the mind plays frightening pictures. What you need right now is support, rest, and peace, not pressure.
Your mother may never change, but you can change how much power her actions have over you. Protect your mental health. Set boundaries, even if it feels hard at first. Focus on rebuilding yourself, your career, and your happiness at your own pace.
And please remember this:
You deserve love, care, and concern, not only when you are giving money, but simply because you are human.
Stay strong. You’ve survived worse. You will rise again
that is who your mother has been but you refused to accept it, now that the chips are down you want to complain. You should speak to her about this and let her understand how hurt you feel with her action. Most naija mothers are like this too nothing new, try and do the little you can do for your mother and face front. You cannot please her or solve all of her problems.
ReplyDeleteTell her how you feel. Communication is very important..If you can't say it, type it on WhatsApp and send to her.
ReplyDeleteI hope things turn out well for you later.
Your mom isn't being fair to you at all, Money is not everything, Look, just put yourself first, and if she doesn't pray for you, pray for yourself, nothing bad will happen to you in Jesus Name. Amen. It well with you.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, prioritize your mental health first. When you are able to stabilize it, then you can reach out to your mum.
ReplyDeleteI detest selfish people.
If my well-being doesn't concern you at all, why will yours be my concern?
I still stand on the premise that family is everything and more, hence why I'll be encouraging you to reach out when you stand on your feet, asides that, I'd have said you should move without looking back.
Learn how to create your own happiness, don't expect others to make you happy.
ReplyDeleteAll I can say is that "It doesn't stop"
ReplyDeleteDear kings, if you like, marry that entitled selfish and self absorbed woman saying you love her and will be able to manage her. Don't picture the damage and mental torture she'll cause your kids.
Poster, don't show her any love, she doesn't deserve it
But people on this blog said African parents should stop feeling entitled to their children’s money.
ReplyDeleteDon’t you have mouth to pray for yourself?
Abi, are you not an adult?
Let African parents breathe!
You're too young to be going through this stress. Try to talk with her maybe, she is even shaken by what you told her and praying in private. I'm sure she wouldn't want you dead.
ReplyDeleteTry and relieve your mind of the stress please
So sorry about your ordeal poster. You can't pour out of an empty cup. Take good care of yourself. ššæ
ReplyDeletePay for her to go learn a skill, even if it's baking meatpie. You can get someone to go teach her at home, if Tinubu at his age and Atiku can still be fighting for presidency then your mum can still do something to earn money long as she isnt sick.
ReplyDeleteYour chronicle sounds like you have done some things to earn money in the past that you are not proud of. Please remember that hiv is on the rise, especially among women your age. Do not do it no matter how easy it looks, your life has a value.
ReplyDeleteNow, I am very sorry that you have a mother who lacks the ability to nurture and be there for you as a loving mother. Unfortunately, it seems as though she has lost her soul somewhere along the way of life and money is all that she sees and feels will solve all of life’s problems - not true. Her actions have nothing to do with you, she has demons of her own to battle with. For now, focus on yourself.
You obviously have not been eating or resting well, probably out too late at nights which can age you quicker than anything else. You are in a world where young unmarried women are easily exploited. If you have a little money please invest in a bottle of multivitamins, folks on here always seem to recommend Well Woman. Nourish your body. You have to get to also nourishing your spirit, pray for God’s help and control over your life. Pray for wisdom and direction. Keep looking for jobs even if it feels like you have no more strength in you. I’m not sure what you are skilled at but keep looking, life favours the brave and those who never give up. If you get a job that is good paying but you feel you don’t have the right clothes or enough education for, still take it and work hard. You will learn and excel there.
May God’s grace pour out on you and only what is good cross your paths. It will and must get better❤️
Poster you just have to live 9me day at a time. Just be cordial with your Mom and send the most you can to her. Just keep praying for yourself
ReplyDeleteYou are too young to be burdened by your mum like this. Sorry about that baby. Try talking sense into her. Keep talking and one day she will change
ReplyDeletePlease, you can help yourself by dedicating your time to things that would uplift your spirit. Become closer to God and speak to him about your situation.
ReplyDeleteYour mum might be the selfish type. You didn't mention your dad so make yourself the most important reason for breathing. Let God help you.
Focus on your self first..
ReplyDeleteSorry about all you are going, many people here have advice you on what to do but in addition pray about your dream dont leave anything to chance please,the Lord help you
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry you're passing through this. I can feel your pain. First, kudos to you for being strong and taking care of yourself and even what shouldn't have been your responsibility at your age. You're doing well, let no one make you feel otherwise.
ReplyDeleteI think it's time to prioritize yourself and your mental health. Take a step back and focus on healing and growing. When you're ready, have an open conversation with your mum about how her actions are making you feel. Her attitude is not befitting of a good mother to be sincere.
In all of this, remember your worth isn't defined by what you do for others. You deserve love, care, and support, anyone not giving you that, please stay away from them no matter who they are. And with this kind of mother, you'll do well to focus more on yourself and save for rainy days. Take care, dear.
Some African parents born for their own selfish reasons; then start blackmailing u when u are older as if u were asked to be born..
ReplyDeleteDid u send her to birth kids she can't care for?..
ReplyDeleteFocus on yourself and take care of you because nobody will..
Funny enough,if u die,they will survive without you..