Hmmmm......
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONFUSED MUM
I lost my husband at the age of 31 , my daughter was just a year old and my son was 5 when he died. 5 years later I met this really nice guy from church.
We started dating but there was no sXXx involved, because I told him, I wasn't ready and he was okay with it.
He is a really nice guy and my kids really love him. I always go with my kids to visit him.
One Saturday he invited us to come and hang out with him. My son was not available, he went to my sister's place for the weekend. It was just me and my daughter that went to his place.
We were all inside his apartment hanging out, then my daughter went outside to play, which is normal. After a few moment, we heard a loud sound from outside. We ran outside to see what was happening.
CONFUSED MUM
I lost my husband at the age of 31 , my daughter was just a year old and my son was 5 when he died. 5 years later I met this really nice guy from church.
We started dating but there was no sXXx involved, because I told him, I wasn't ready and he was okay with it.
He is a really nice guy and my kids really love him. I always go with my kids to visit him.
One Saturday he invited us to come and hang out with him. My son was not available, he went to my sister's place for the weekend. It was just me and my daughter that went to his place.
We were all inside his apartment hanging out, then my daughter went outside to play, which is normal. After a few moment, we heard a loud sound from outside. We ran outside to see what was happening.
My little daughter went and climbed the gate, that has been bad for some time, that they have left permanently open the gate now fell and crushed her.
It was a gruesome scene. She died on the spot.
When I saw my little girls crushed body under that heavy gate. I passed out. I woke up on a hospital bed. I wasn't happy that I woke up. I wanted to die. I became suicidal.
I blamed myself for getting involved with a man and for visiting him on that dark day. If not for my son I would have ended my life. I didn't want him to suffer for my mistakes. After several years of counseling and prayers I managed to pull myself out of depression.
That was 5 years ago. I can never forget that incident, but I'm now strong enough to talk about it.
My son is 15 years old now. He is my best friend. We cry together we laugh together. He's all I have.
My late husbands elder sister that just came back from the UK wants to take him back with her.
I told her to wait for him to finish his university education here in Nigeria. Then he can go over to the UK for his masters. She refused.
She said if I don't give him up willingly she will take me to court and considering my past there is no judge in this country that won't grant her full custody of my son. I asked my son if you would like to go with her he said, No!
She is becoming very toxic.
I want to move very far away from her with my son.
My elder brother is doing very well in Senegal, he has invited me to come over with my son and start a new life. I am still thinking about my brother's offer. At the end of the day, I want what is best for my son. Confused mum.
My elder brother is doing very well in Senegal, he has invited me to come over with my son and start a new life. I am still thinking about my brother's offer. At the end of the day, I want what is best for my son. Confused mum.
OH MY GOD!!!!....So sorry about your daughter!
What is in your past that will make the Judge take your son away? You are not responsible for your daughters death please...It was a Domestic accident that you could not prevent...She should mind her business and face from...Help is not by force.....Please take up your brothers offer if you feel you can't fight her back, just vanish for your peace of mind and while at it, please delete all social media handles and do not tell anyone of your plans
Please move away and start again...May your daughters soul rest on in Peace.....
What a pitiful story . Senegal is a good ideal, also I don't think your sister in-law has such power or custody over your son. Good lawyer can help. God be with you
ReplyDeleteOMG! I felt really bad reading what happened to your daughter.
ReplyDeleteMay her soul rest in peace.
May God see you and your son through.
Don't think twice, follow your bros to Senegal, when you and your son learn French, move to France.
DeleteThis is heart breaking. so sorry for your loss. that sister in law of youre is wicked , why use your past against you, moreso then your husband was late, were you not expected to remarry? She is manipulative and a toxic person, move away from her with no trace of her reaching you,.Once your son is 18, them go rest. ..then try live a free live, dont let it look like your life revolves around your son, so that when he leaves for school or marries in the future, you wont feel depressed..nevertheleas, dont release him to that sister in-law of yours, you can imagine the nonsense she would feed him with and try to manipulate him against you..May God strengthen you,
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, I'm so sorry about your losses, pls don't let the devil guilt trip you on the death of your little girl..
ReplyDeleteThis your sister in-law is out for trouble. Don't let her get to you. But you must be wise and thread carefully with wisdom. That child is yours. She has no right to force you to do anything. If the child is not ready no one should force him.
The way she is going about it suggests something off.
Does she have children? I hope it's not tomorrow now she will tell the world that she sponsored and took care of the boys so she has rights over him. The way she going I hope she will not cut him off you.
Pray and be careful.
Best wishes. You can go to Senegal if you so want.
I’m so sorry
ReplyDeleteSister in law can’t take your son
Ignore her
Stay where you or move to Senegal is up to you but don’t do it cause of her. Your son is just about to finish secondary and move to university
Even if she goes to court, by the time a court decides one way or the other, it will be time for uni
Why does she suddenly want him. If it’s about protecting him, she should have taken him when he was younger
That was gruesome. So sorry for the loss. However,I would advise you stick with your son. Don't give him up because he is better off with you.
ReplyDeleteIn which country are you. Nigeria? If yes, tell your Sister-in-Law to go mind her life in the UK. Nigeria laws do not give her such right.
ReplyDeleteRest assured that nobody can take your son from you. A child old enough to be interviewed by the Judge would not be taken away as she is claiming. Where has she been since your daughter passed if that is the blackmailing point. Why did she not make the application then if she felt you are a bad or incompetent mother?
Unless there is more unsaid, there is no basis for your sister-in-law's claim or threat. It will fail on facts narrated. Let the lawyers weigh in.
So sorry about all you’ve been through
ReplyDeleteGod is your strength in all
Na this kind thing I dey like sef. Get her to threaten you on WhatsApp or record on phone then tell her you’re going to be informing the UK immigration service. Even if she don get passport, they can take it back. Nonsense and ingredients.
DeleteOn the other hand, you need a life outside your son. Being close to your son is great, but he is not your husband or your friend. He is your son whom you love. Don’t blur those lines please. Get out there and get your own life going for you, if not when he marries or is ready to marry, you will find faults with all his girlfriends, you will resent his wife, you will unknowingly guilt trip him into sidelining his wife seriously.
Start making plans for when your son grows up. And he will, very soon, sooner than u think
OMG! So sorry about your daughter, may God rest her soul..
ReplyDeleteIt will be better you take your brother's offer, stay far away from that sister in law..
Oh my,so sorry for what happened dear,God will surely see you through.
ReplyDeleteOh! Dear, what a sad story, please consider joining your brother Senegal
ReplyDeleteIt's well with you inugo
Your story broke my heart, so sorry for your daughter's death. I agree 💯 with what Stella said. May God guide you to start a fresh.
ReplyDeleteWhen I read to the part where your daughter died, my heart sank 💔. May her soul rest in peace. Please if you feel your brother place is safe for you and your son move there and stay far away from this by force favour from your sister in-law. May God strengthen you.
ReplyDelete1st of don't go to Senegal, similar thing happening in Nigeria North is happening there.
ReplyDeleteSorry about your daughter, no judge will hold that against you.
I don't understand why the aunt is threatening you and I hope she has good intentions for your son. If you are sure he has good intentions for him, then it's better for the boy to go. Think about his future in the UK compared to Nigeria. He is 15 years now so it's easier than when he turns 18 years. Also, at your son's age, it's hard to brainwash him to forget about you so allow him go if her aunt is a good person. But don't allow her to adopt him so you can still have legal rights over your son.
The aunt is not a good person at all. I have seen first hand what Nigerians do to young relatives in the UK. From slave labour to forcible organ donation to peemping them out, particularly boys!!! Poster do not try it. If her intentions were pure she would outline her plans, come with school options and make sure both of you come over to the UK. The woman is diabolical!!
DeletePoster take anons advice. Do what's best for him. It'll be easier now that he's 15 than 18. I guess the window for taking him is closing fast because soon he'll turn 15. Why would you consider Senegal to uk? When your son turns 18 he'll leave you and go to uni he won't be with you forever . Grab this opportunity now before you regret it . Leave sentiments aside she's only angry you're not grabbing this chance at a better life for your son . Let him go to uk and prosper he'll be fine.
DeleteIs this the kind of evil SIL you want your only child to live with as he journeys to manhood, a woman that knows how you’ve suffered and still blackmails and threatens you? She has no right to your son more than you the mother of the child, fear nothing no court can grant her custody. Cut off from her it doesn’t matter if she’s taking him to heaven say no. If you’re not doing anything find something to do and collect no more gifts or money from her. Shut that door completely. Senegal may not be a bad idea, pray and seek Gods counsel he has a bright future for you and your son. Be Courageous!
ReplyDeletePoster, so sorry about your daughter. May God continue to grant you the fortitude to bear the loss. Chai!!! Such a tragic experience. God is with you.
ReplyDeleteI concur with Stella's submission.
Please do everything you can do to make sure your sister in-law didn't take him. I'm not sure he has good plans for him.
ReplyDeleteBesides,once he's 16 I think there can't be custody battle cos he's old enough to decides who he wants to stay with. Please stay strong for him. Sorry about what happened in the past, if possible consider dating and marriage again. The lord will guard your path
My heart goes out to you. You have carried more pain, loss, and responsibility than any woman should ever have to face. What happened to your daughter was a tragic accident, devastating, life-altering, and traumatic, but it was not your fault. You loved your children, you protected them, and you still do. You pulled yourself out of the darkest place imaginable so that your son would not grow up without a mother. That is strength. That is love. That is resilience.
ReplyDeleteNow, about your son: you are his mother, his anchor, his safe place. You have raised him with love, shared in his grief, and built a life where the two of you survive and thrive together. At 15, he is no longer a baby, he is old enough to express what he wants, and he told you clearly: he does not want to go with your late husband’s sister.
No court will ignore that.
Your sister-in-law’s threats are based on manipulation and intimidation, nothing more. Losing a child and struggling with depression is not a crime, and it does not make you an unfit mother. You sought help, you healed, you rebuilt your life, that is something the law respects, not punishes. She cannot walk into a court and take your child simply because she wants to.
Her behaviour is toxic, controlling, and deeply inconsiderate of both your healing and your son’s wishes. Anyone who truly loves that boy would never forcefully drag him away from the only parent he has left.
As for relocating, whether within Nigeria or abroad, you must choose what protects your peace and future. Your mental health matters. Your son’s stability matters. If moving to Senegal offers a fresh start, safety, and distance from toxicity, then there is nothing wrong with choosing that route. You have every right to build a peaceful life with your child, free from emotional blackmail.
At the end of the day, you are not confused, you are a mother trying her best. Trust your instincts. You have raised that boy for 15 years. You know what he needs. And he has chosen you.
Whatever decision you make, do it with confidence. You have survived the worst, and you will overcome this too.
I will give you legal advice for free, do not allow anyone threaten you, she cannot take your child away. Nobody can take your child away from you. If she wants to take you to court, please let her take you to court, no court will take your child away from you and give it to your sister-in-law, regardless of what happened with your daughter. You have had your son for about ten more years since the accident, NO ONE WILL TAKE YOUR SON AWAY. Tell her to do whatever she wants to do.
ReplyDeleteAlso, because your son is 15 years already, the court will ask him whom he wants to stay with, since he is grown.
How is this woman's threat getting to you? Let her do her worst.
So sorry for the loss of your daughter.pls carry your son and run from that woman.God is your strength.
ReplyDeleteSorry about what happens to you. Your sil can not do nada is it not the UK? Write the embassy that someone wants to kidnap your child, is he her child? UK embassy doesn't joke with such rubbish. Don't allow her take your child, because if she doesn't have time for him in this London that I lives in omo your son can turn out badly. Forget the better life people are talking about, it is more difficult to raise teenager in the UK. Alert the embassy about it, logun ba se, she can not do nothing.
ReplyDeleteIt is well but like they’ve said, on no account should you release your son to her! She’s evil! Why will she want to forcefully take another person’s child from her? Why?
ReplyDeleteI just wanna hold you now. Bear hugs to you. Mustn't have been easy. Go to Senegal and start over.
ReplyDelete