MARRIED TO A BULLY
My wife is a bully.
She bullies the women in our compound. She's always looking for trouble but people keep avoiding her for the sake of peace.
I have told her to stop terrorizing the people in our compound, but she doesn't listen to me. If I talk one, she will talk 10.
She's always looking for a fight. I have told her she's setting a bad example for our girls.
Recently my 7 year old son came into the house crying because one of the kids he was playing with outside gave him a knock on his head. I told him to stop crying and learn how to fight back. The kid in question is just a year older than him.
Before I could say Jack Robinson my wife stood up and rushed straight to the boys house, called him out of his house in front of his entire family and gave him a knock on his head, just like he did to our son.
The boy started crying immediately.
His mother, came out and asked my wife why she beat up her son and my wife slapped her for asking her what she termed a stupid question.
This lady is petite and my wife is on the big side, so you can imagine what my wife was thinking, that she would crush this woman if she dares her.
My wife tried to walk majestically back to the house but this petite lady dragged her by her wig, lifted my wife from the ground like a doll and landed her on the ground. If you see beating!
This woman beat my wife woto woto and even fed her sand.
Ah! My wife really collect beating.
There was jubilation in our compound that day, even if it was subtle, I knew the women in our compound are happy that my wife was beaten up like a child.
Ah! My wife really collect beating.
There was jubilation in our compound that day, even if it was subtle, I knew the women in our compound are happy that my wife was beaten up like a child.
She hardly goes outside now.
She's very sober and she has refused to make eye contact with me since the incident. Like she's ashamed.
She's very sober and she has refused to make eye contact with me since the incident. Like she's ashamed.
Is she ashamed for embarrassing me and the children or she is ashamed that she was beaten up by a woman she considered a lesser woman.
I think she owes me an apology for causing me such a huge embarrassment. It's been 2 weeks and we are yet to have a discussion about what happened. Should I bring it up or I should give her some time.
I think she owes me an apology for causing me such a huge embarrassment. It's been 2 weeks and we are yet to have a discussion about what happened. Should I bring it up or I should give her some time.
What kind of man are you? Why would you wait until two weeks?TWO WHOLE WEEKS???And please dont listen to her trying to convince you that you people need to move to a new compound oh....That compound will humble her, so stay there....Please tell her your mind unless you are scared she will beat you up as well.....
BTW, you told your son to ''Fight back''........isnt that creating another version of your wife?
Serves her right.
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣🤣. woto woto made me laugh out loud
DeleteSo many lessons to learn from here. You do not have a relationship with your wife. You don't talk WITH each other. Why does your wife 'bully' people? Survival mode? Family upbringing? False portrayal? I wonder why she will not respect you. Then, they beat your wife in your presence and you jubilated in your mind? Let's call a spade, a spade. That day you watch your wife fought or got beaten by another person is the day you degraded your role as your family's protector. You could have separated the fight, fiercely take your wife out from there thereby preventing someone from disrespecting your wife in your presence and also passing an information that you do not accept her jungle behaviour. Then for how many weeks you allow coldness in your home while the whole compound laugh at you as a man and at you as a husband to disgraced woman. Believe me, their husband will also make fun of you anytime the occasion arises.
DeleteYes, kids are trained to defend themselves. They can defend themselves by telling the aggressor to stop in a stern and firm tone. But if a kid didn't stop and hit my kid, hit the kid back. Sometimes, telling the aggressor doesn't halt the situation, action does.
😂😂😂😂😂🤣😅😂
ReplyDeleteEwo this is very good for a troublesome woman .
She's ashamed and embarrassed at the same time,just talk to her ..
I hope she has learnt her lesson 🤣
Hahahahahahahahahahaha. Serves her right.
ReplyDeleteDon't bring anything up, carry on like you nor see anything. Let her live with the shame. Oh, I love how she was beaten. Fight between David and goliath 😂😂
Clap for yourself sir. So you stood there and watched the slim lady beat your wife to your satisfaction abi? What if it had resulted to something else. The moment the hit her on the ground, why didn't you seperate fight and take her inside for cautioning? You din't try o. I'm sure she has learnt her lesson though, but you should be the one to apologize to her
ReplyDeleteDid you even read the chronicle at all, he should apologize for what? His wife threw the first blow and she collect wotowoto, that served her right, that's the best medication for all bullies, they always think they can beat everyone.
DeleteIn fact I'm laughing hard because the result of her bullying is hilarious and satisfying, next time she will think twice before she bullies people again.
Take several seats biko
DeleteAnakogheri
What do you want him to do? Fight the woman? It's a good thing she received beating to reset her brain. Why would she raise her hand to slap her fellow woman?
DeleteAswear@Gifty anakogheri promax🤣🤣inukwa apologize to her Akiko🙄
DeleteEh eh. So what if when she slapped the petite woman, and the woman fainted.
DeleteYour wife has clearly been humbled, and honestly, she probably deserved that beating for constantly bullying people. Actions have consequences, and unfortunately, this was the day hers caught up with her.
ReplyDeleteFrom everything you shared, she has been terrorizing your neighbours for a long time. People tolerated her for the sake of peace, but that doesn’t make her behaviour right. Storming into someone’s house to hit a child and then slapping the boy’s mother was completely out of line. That was assault, and she is lucky it didn’t escalate into something worse legally.
Now, she is sober and avoiding eye contact because she’s embarrassed, not just because she was beaten, but because the entire compound witnessed her being put in her place. The shame is probably heavy on her, and that may be why she hasn’t approached you yet.
As for whether to bring it up:
Give her a little more time. She needs space to process what happened and reflect. When you eventually talk, keep it calm. Focus on how her behaviour affects the children, your home’s reputation, and even her own dignity. She truly embarrassed not just you but herself, and this might be the wake-up call she needed.
Encourage her to apologise, not because you demand it, but because accountability is part of maturity and growth. And from now on, both of you will need to work together to ensure such behavior never repeats itself.
This incident might just be the turning point your marriage and your compound needed.
In my 7 years or so on this blog, this is by far the funniest chronicle I've ever read. Poster, weldone. Walahi I have nothing to say 🤣🤣🤣
ReplyDeleteWhat is there to bring up really, she attacked a child, slapped an adult and the adult defended themselves, as expected of anyone. What is there to discuss about that incident?
ReplyDeletePerhaps you should be asking yourself some questions, like how is it that you ended up with a virago for a wife? If she was fine before and suddenly became like this what went wrong? Is her behaviour an indication of a bigger issue? These are what you need to ponder on and if a discussion must be had then that is what is perhaps what is worth enquiring on.
Stella, there is a difference between standing up for yourself and being a bully. The man is trying to teach the boy to stand up for himself and fight back. Is not as if his son started the fight so what the poster told him is right. The wife bullies people. That's bullying, the poster is trying to teach his son about self defense like the petite woman did by beating up his wife.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteYou really married a handful and it is sad that you have been relegated to the ''female partner'' position as your wife exudes a lot of male energy....You are even scared of your wife by the tone of your chronicle....It is unfortunate that you cannot exert your position as the head of the home....So could it be that she is the breadwinner? Or the one that has to wear the pants at home?
You need to be firm and I wonder why you haven't had that conversation with her since 2 weeks and I am sure your children may see you as the passive parent and may see your wife as the one who has balls....I hope she doesn't beat you too....
My advice: Do you know anyone that you know she has deep respect for that she would listen to? Please find out, approach the person and let him or her speak with her?
Have you tried to reach her parents, elder siblings, or relatives to intervene? You don't want to sweep this under the carpet when your children are watching and taking up some unhealthy behaviour....You need to do more by guiding your children; if I were you, I won't advice my son to knock people's head back, what if he does and it further escalates to something serious....
Both of you need counselling at some point...Put your feet down without resorting to fights and let her know that her bad attitude is affecting her children....
All the best...
People like her don't listen to anyone. You think her parents and siblings are not aware that she is a bully?
DeleteOga, don't address anything.
I’m supposed to believe you stood there and watched someone beat your wife
ReplyDeleteKindly help us with what you think the husband should have done. Olodo
DeleteIs it only I that miss chronicles over the weekend??
ReplyDeleteThis is the best chronicle to start off the week😂😂😂😂
This chronicle sweet me aswear🤣🤣 I can imagine how she was walking out feeling fly. Good for her next time she'd know how to act.
ReplyDeleteOga sir nawa for you, I mean, something like that happened and you're yet to address it? You'd have addres it that very day pour more salt into the injury. Talk to her and dont move out of that compound cos, it us that compound that will humble your wife.
Telling the kid to stand up and fight is not bad. It is a cold world. Some kids do not have confidence or suffer from low self-esteem. Please talk to your kid and wife. Ask her why the need to be confrontational. It could be upbringing or childhood trauma. God help you.
ReplyDelete🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 poster please pardon my ignorance, chai!
ReplyDeletehahaha, this is so funny.
ReplyDeleteThe best chronicles for the year.
ReplyDeleteSee her she disgrace her self in the presence of her son .
This is really funny. 😀Serves her right though. I hope the incident will make her do better going forward.
ReplyDeleteIn everything, do not move out of that compound. She will become less quarrelsome and try to talk to her about it
ReplyDeleteI like the fact that you asked your son to fight back. That is good parenting. The world is a cruel place, you have to teach them how to stand up for themselves.
ReplyDeleteMy nephew came home from school and asked his dad if someone beats him in school what will he do? (This was in USA), so my brother said warn him not to touch you. The smart boy who was just 5 asked his dad what if he did it again, his dad said, then tell the teacher to warn him and the boy said what if he did again? Then my brother said, if he did it the third time and for example he gives you one slap, make sure you give him 5 slap. If you can’t find back do not bother telling me.He stop asking at this point.
Poster you have good sense of humour. Your wife is what Igbo people called “Ojionu” hahaha. I like the fact that you watch the lady teach her a little lesson so she can learn to keep her hands to herself.
You should have addressed the problem same night but you have let it slide so presumably she will learn her lesson if not you have a reference point whenever she wants to misbehave.
You are nice sha. The way I would be singing and dancing in her face to rub the shame in ehn. May all bullies meet their match.
ReplyDeleteoga, you need to address this as soon as possible. Two weeks is a very long time to keep such issue, those, something you both should have trashed out same day. Is not advisable to keep things for a long time between couple, it will bring some distance between you both but if you learn to fix things same day you both will make a better home.
ReplyDeleteRemember that children learn fast from what they see rather than what you tell them. Tal to your wife even if she is the bread winner, you should take your stand in your home and don't allow a woman to mess your ego up. You have the manly authority, that is why God place you above a woman but this one you are sounding like agidi hope she does not beat you too at home.
Now that she has messed herself up even if she beat you at home, is the best time to call her back to her senses because if she cannot beat her follow woman then she has no right to beat you as her husband. She is so ashamed of her self because she tot business that very day will be as usual but that woman cleared her doubt. Good for her and let her not teach your children how to bully other people. Make sure you don't move out of that compound else she will bully more people in your new place. Whatever she says just tell her moving pout of that compound is out of it.
D Petite lady must be an Ijaw lady. They're born wrestlers.
ReplyDeleteHello Poster,
ReplyDeleteI suspect your wife has always been this way; you simply didn’t treat her temperament as a long-term threat. Now it has hardened into a risky character flaw. Your concern about the children copying her is valid, yet the way you narrated everything felt like a low-budget morality stage play - forgive my bluntness.
You should be more than casually worried. This behaviour isn’t a phase; it’s becoming her signature. I will overlook the slap, ignore the wig-pulling, and even let the compound’s “justice day” slide. What scares me is the quiet rot beneath it all: a home where conflict is normalised until it spills outside like an untended fire.
Your wife didn’t become a bully in one afternoon. This is an abysmal and repulsive learned behaviour by an adult, and sadly rewarded, overlooked, maybe even enabled by you. You call her a bully as though she exists outside the ecosystem of your home - she's your wife! But families don’t produce tyrants by accident. They grow in spaces where rage is a coping mechanism and humiliation is its accepted apology.
Receiving a compact dose of her own medicine wasn’t her downfall. It was a mirror - one you never held up for her to face. For the first time, she met someone who refused to bow to her theatre of intimidation. And like most people who survive on fear, she collapsed the moment fear stopped working its theatrics.
More than anything else I'm worried about your silence - that is not how neutrality works. If for anything it shows your quiet participation in who she has become. You didn’t intervene when she harassed the neighbours. As the shepherd of your home, you didn’t step in when she assaulted a child or slapped a woman for questioning her. And you didn’t intervene when she finally faced the consequences she’d been handing out for years.
And all you held on to was “embarrassment”? But embarrassment is the least of what you both need to be processing - especially for you. This is the moment adults confront the roots: anger, insecurity, power imbalance, unresolved trauma, and generational moulding.
So no, the real question isn’t whether she owes you an apology.
It’s whether both of you are ready to dismantle a home where violence has become normal enough that even your seven-year-old is being conditioned into it.
Until that conversation happens, everything else is decoration. And as 50 Cent sang, you’re a moment away from window-shopping for a calamity that may yet consume the family.
😆😅😂🤣😄
ReplyDeleteThis chronicle made me laugh 😂😂
ReplyDeleteOga,call her now and talk sense into her before she reverts to default settings.
Kai,I love this chronicle abeg
ReplyDelete