Hmmmm......
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED
I am in love with my elder sister's best friend. She's 8 years older than me. We have been dating secretly for almost a year now. I am tired of hiding it. I love this lady and I want to marry her.
ADVICE NEEDED
I am in love with my elder sister's best friend. She's 8 years older than me. We have been dating secretly for almost a year now. I am tired of hiding it. I love this lady and I want to marry her.
She won't let me take it any further. She's afraid it will destroy her relationship with my sister.
I know my sister will kick against it, but I don't really care. I'm a man of my own. I'm not going to sacrifice my happiness just to please others. I am a successful young man. Doing well for myself. I don't need anybody's permission on whom to marry. At the same time, I want to keep the peace between our families.
I just need advice on how to gently open up to my family about my plans to marry my lady without setting off a b*mb.
Knowing my family very well, it will be kaboom!
Hmmmmmm........ I dont know what to tell you cos if its me , I wont even agree..... Marry my best friend say wetin happen? Abeg oh!
You should have told your sister from the beginning to hear what she has to say. and what her reasons might be if she disagrees.
Like you said, you are a man and will do what you want to do but avoid making hasty decisions.....
Trash this out with your sis before you tell others....
Good luck to you......
Do you want to marry her
ReplyDeleteIf he sure you buy ring and give let her collect first
Marrying a woman eight years older than you is risky on the long run. I'm a woman and would not allow my son or brother to make such decision.
Delete"Age is just a number." Not in this situation.
16:22 are the ones with close she staying together
DeleteLeave people alone
Your lover is not a sincere person though. She's supposed to tell your sister outrightly. I will suggest you tell,to tell your sister first. It's her call.
ReplyDeleteAbeg shift
DeleteDo what works for you man.
DeleteIt is not easy to find now.
First have a meeting with your family and tell them you are madly in love with a lady older than you,tell them the age gap and you want to marry her.Hear what they will say and tell them all the nic e thing about her and why you want to marry her.I hope she can have a baby for you,if not .Are you okay with it.
ReplyDeleteAny man or lady that can date the siblings of their friend without first informing their very friend is worse than a snake and scorpion.
ReplyDeleteTrust me if your sisters best friend is as good as you are claiming;she won’t start the relationship without considering the emotions of your sister first,before agreeing to date you.
It’s not just about the age here Man,there are secrets of hers your sister knows about(and vice versa),and she is aware that your sister won’t agree for anything marriage or relationship to take place..
Your sister also knows she would spill her own secrets to you if you both get married and that would reduce the regard/respect you have for her as a sister;so yea aside the age difference that is why the relationship started in secrecy because if she was a good lady;your own sister would want you to bag her as a trophy wife..
Cheers;and don’t use emotions while making decisions like this..
@MARTINS
Shuo
DeleteUna too dey do
On top my own life I must tell before I date another living being that you don’t own
Oh dear, please tell your sister ASAP before she finds out and let your family know your intentions too
ReplyDeleteYou will not be first man to marry a woman older than him neither will you be the last.
I wish you all the very best
Una wey no dey like make your siblings marry your best friend wetin happen? Una no get good friends? I've always had good, wholesome friends. So I wouldn't mind my sibling marrying one.
ReplyDeleteAre you sure you entered this relationship with clear eyes?? Your elder sister's best friend that is 8yrs older?
ReplyDeleteTalk to your sister first and hear what she has to say l. Pls pay attention to her reasons for objections.
Nothing there
DeleteIs he a child
Tell your elder sis
DeleteYou guys made mistake initially even that your lady sef,how will she keep the friendship screte this long to her best friend, it's not fair nah check it
ReplyDeleteNow, you know your sister too well and how to approach the situation so that it won't turn to another thing
Then your lady should tell her so called best friend too
Wishing you guys well🤞
I consider her a cougar. She is just using you to warm her bed. Have fun while it lasts.
ReplyDeleteHow do you know
DeleteAsk your lady to marry you. If she agrees, break the news to your family slowly. 1st tell them you have seen someone you want to marry but she's older than you and list all the qualities you saw in her that you haven't seen in others. Intentionally tell them she has refused to allow you wife her because of age. Nag to them and tell them positive things about her everyday for like a month or 2. With how their response goes, you can be able to plan how to reveal who she is.
ReplyDeleteNow that you’ve read some of these comments, you understand her better
ReplyDeleteOmo. Family drama is about to go down
ReplyDeleteI like that you kept it to yourselves and dated quietly. Sometimes outside pressure destroys a good thing long before it could take off. I also like a man who knows himself and is strong enough to make his own choices with confidence. Your intended seems a bit more nervous about it than you. Please check in with her and inform her of your desire for marriage and see where she’s at. She too will have to be as strong as you, because she will probably receive harsher comments than you. You must be 100% united on this. You are not the only man to walk this path. I believe Hugh Jackman’s wife is 13 years older than him, Keanu Reeves is also with an older woman. When you find your person and know this is the one, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, many ppl live their entire lives never finding their person. So do not toss her away because of what ppl will say.
ReplyDeleteThat said, an eight years age gap is frowned on in the society when it is the woman who is older. You are going to get some background noise. Get her hand engaged first and then present yourselves as a couple together. Be mindful that some may feel she orchestrated it and seduced you, please ensure that you let everyone know it is you who chased her and insisted on marriage. However, do ensure that once you are engaged you both tell your sister first before the rest of the family. She needs to know at least a week or two before everyone else. It may or may not change their relationship. Some friends love the thought of strengthening their friendship to becoming family and can truly say that they are sisters. All the best to you both. May you always be united and have each other back all the days of your lives.
Hugh Jackman has divorced his wife. Keanu Reeves partner isn't older than him; she just doesn't dye her hair and not a conventional beauty.
DeleteWow, didn’t know that, they were married a while there. Divorce is a reality of modern times, nobody hopes for it but we cannot hide our heads to the realities of the age.
DeleteFirst off there’s nothing wrong with the age diff as long as you’re able to handle situations where it looks like she’s not agreeing or listening to you and you don’t see it as a problem.
ReplyDeleteYour sister should have been aware before now.
Find a way to tell your sister and then take it from there.
ReplyDeleteI’m also dating a guy I’m 8yrs older.
When he first asked for my age I didn’t say it.
Then later on I told him and he was surprised, he said we don’t need to tell anyone about our age difference.
So far he is handling the age difference really fine, he is now talking about marriage and building a life together.
Posted your family may not agree to this bcos of the age difference. But if you stand your ground respectfully it will work. Goodluck
I think most of us don't even know the meaning of friendship sef. What is wrong with marrying her best friend? The problem should be the age, and nothing else. If your siblings can't marry anyone from your circle, what you have is roundabout. They are not your friends. What are you still doing with them? This is a question you or any sensible person should answer. Merry Christmas.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you @Mindset Akporoghene
DeleteI need nobody's permission to pursue life and happiness.
"I need no warrant for being, and no word of sanction upon my being. I am the warrant and the sanction."
I watched this movie,Chioma,Uche jumbo etc wow! Now a reality,forgotten the name of the movie. Poster please go for what give you peace, a female lecturer i know got married to her student ,they are happily married with a child now.
ReplyDeleteI never like the student teacher dynamic because of the power imbalance involved, but life is full of surprises and nobody ever knows where they will find attraction and interest.
DeleteI'm also about to marry a man I'm 10yrs older than. He loves and treats me well. And I must say that this is my best relationship ever. So why not.
ReplyDeleteDo what makes you happy please