I am in shock as i send this in but i also am alert and do not want to be like the Chronicle poster who regretted not marrying someone who travelled all the way from abroad to Nigeria to propose and she said no cos of his bowlegs and other complaints....
My case is almost the same but i am yet to give him an answer cos i feel he tricked me into where we are today..
We have been dating Online and on phone for about 3 years and never in my life did i expect to see what came to visit me to ask for my hand in marriage....
He arrived Nigeria and i excitedly went to receive him and set my eyes on the fattest man i have ever seen.....his stomach is so large that i don't think that he can see his feet except he looks in the mirror......I don't know what is inside but its big and flabby and his family members i have met dont look like its fat from food, it looks like they are from a fat family...
My problem is not even the fat but why was he using edits to talk to me? I never saw his body but his face was slim and that was all he allowed me see.....
He is telling me its recently he put on weight but his family members greeting him are hailing him for slimming down.................what???????????
He has asked me to marry him but what else is he hiding? Should i try to see if he has gbola before saying yes?Should i try to gbensh him to see if he can gbensh? or is he a red flag for hiding his obesity self from me?
Please i need advice so that me too can celebrate long term wedding anniversary.. i dont want to go in and come out and i am not getting any younger, I am in my 40's but dont look it
Please i need advice so that me too can celebrate long term wedding anniversary.. i dont want to go in and come out and i am not getting any younger, I am in my 40's but dont look it
What is all this? cant you accept him the way he is and love the fat out of him? Didn't you say abroad? that's the magic word here...LMAO!
Now let me give you bad advice, marry him , relocate and call me from wherever you are make we meet drink cappuchy!
These days i only give bad advice since una say i no sabi give good advice.....
You know the answer
ReplyDeleteI don laugh tire😅😅😂😂🤣🤣
DeleteI don't know if it's poster's description of the Man, abi na Stella telling her to love the Fat out of him want kill me 🤣🤣🤣
God abegg o!
Poster, na you make the mistake, in video call, you go tell the person to show you their body. I mean every part of the body, including 👅👁️
Well, there might be other things he is hiding, if he can hide his looks from you.
ReplyDeleteTell him to loose weight within 1 month.
DeleteFor his good
Even the richest man in Asia's son lost weight within 1 month just to marry his sweetheart.
What you saw shocked you yes, but don’t let it cancel 3 years of connection. At least he’s not wicked, disrespectful, or irresponsible. He may have been afraid of losing you, which is why he hid his size. Please marry him, you can even baby-gym him and watch all of that fat burn. Who knows, he might be the last good man to come your way? He will be so broken if you turn him down. Abeg marry him. Thanks and God bless you 🙏🏻
ReplyDeletelol he’s wicked
DeleteDo you know what it takes to hide weight for 3 years
if you like him marry him and help him loss weight .he can start ozempic or phertermine. i dont know the abroad he is .if it is america.reply me to tell you how to contact me for a telemedicine appointment with me to prescribe that
ReplyDeleteBut why didn't he start it before coming to see her? That dude hasn't seen his dyck since sometime in the 1900s. If he has hbp or diabetes she better set her mind to having a seckless marriage cause the only thing gonna rise is the gas in his gut.
DeleteWhy not help him reduce his weight?
ReplyDeleteHe can lose weight for you if he really wants the marriage..
Tell him your disappointment and ready to work with him if he's willing to lose the weight..
Is he a kind man?
If you are embarrassed by his looks, then don't bother. It doesn't look like you like his looks. There is no need. You must be proud of who you are going to spend your forever with. If he tricked you then it's his fault. Let him go.
ReplyDeleteBy the way you seem desperate,"I need advice so that me to can celebrate long time wedding anniversary" , pls marry for the right reasons, not because age is catching up with you. Don't be in a hurry. A good marriage is better than the one you will go and be managing.
Decline the proposal.
Simple
Deleteif you feel that you people are compactable go ahead and marry him, if you feel you are not proud of the person you want to marry please let him go. You should also discuss with him that he hide this from you.
ReplyDeleteA content creator said something about being physically attracted to your partner, are attracted to him? Look well before you leap.
ReplyDeleteAbroadian a very sweet word. Even Liberia na abroad. They will even wait for seven years. If na Abekota patience nur go dey. Poster enjoy the package
ReplyDeleteYour comment tho 😂😂
DeleteDon't use because of abroad, age or money to marry someone that their presence will disgust you. Or someone you won't like to be seen in public with.
ReplyDeleteAre there solutions? Yes. But there comes the difficult question and answer time. You can't just guess or decide by yourself that he will lose weight after marriage.
TALK ABOUT IT NOW. Let him know how it makes you feel, find out if he has started doing something about it or if he will like to go under the knife to reduce.
You can make your final decision afterwards.
YOU CANNOT MARRY LATE AND STILL BE UNHAPPY.
Amen to this!
DeletePoster you can help him lose weight if you marry him.
ReplyDeleteThis will work only if he is interested. My aunt was married to man who even got baptized in her church and pretended he did not eat pork or drink alcohol, key tenets of their faith. Well, went he left home he was eating all the pork and drinking all the beer he wanted when she was not around. As a matter of fact, I know a few men who all did that shyt, ate one way at home then on their own it's a stark contrast. Ppl change only if they want to.
DeleteYou can support him in losing the excess weight.
ReplyDeleteBut ask yourself. Do you truly love him, or are you just looking for a way out?
Have you prayed and sought God’s guidance about this? If not, take it to him first in prayer.
Deceiving you for over 3 years is a no no. He wasted your years. Abroad or no abroad, if you don't like him and he's not fertile to impregnate you please decline the proposal. You shouldn't have waited for him for over 3 years. Nigerian women in Nigeria focus on the men where you live and leave abroad online dating. Stop wasting your time and years on nonsense all in the name that they live abroad.
ReplyDeleteYou can go ahead and marry if you like but don't even think you can change anything about him even if he promise...
ReplyDeleteAnd there are many other things about him you don't know yet that you must be willing to deal with except you want to leave the marriage.
Leaving the marriage might not be easy too.
Nobody is talking about the DECEIT FOR THREE YEARS!!!!! Una hear abroad and marry, una soft serve sense melt completely.
ReplyDeleteAnd this dumb belle heard abroad, instantly brain shut down.
THREE GOOD YEARS!!!
No video? No full length pictures? No family photos????
You no ask am make e show you bum bum and boobs or move the camera lower?
Just serving you slim fitted face?👀
Ok.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
The man catfished you. If you are in dire straits and see no way forward then by all means marry him and put him on strict diet. To me, if he even started out that way and he really cared about you then he would have been honest about his weight. Additionally, if he could only get to Naija 3 years later he may not be buoyant financially. He could have tried to lose weight in the 3 years, did he? Now eating all the homegrown food he has not eaten in years with all that carbs and fats his weight will even get bigger after the visit. How is his hygiene, does he smell? You could put him on ultimatum if you want as a condition of getting married, you could position it as you want to enjoy your marriage and not be a widow or have your children become fatherless young. Then he can decide what he wants more, you in his life or a bucket of chicken.
ReplyDeleteI'm no more advising people about relationships now because people always say I'm too "choosie". So i don't want to use my overchooniness to spoil it for anyone. Let me continue being choosing in peace.
ReplyDeleteNigerian Women and desperation for marriage, especially when it comes to abroad men, you see that kind thing and you want to marry him, if he were you, will he marry you?
ReplyDeleteTell him to do anything to lose weight before agreeing to marry him, if not, you don enter one chance be that, someone you're not attracted to while fully clothed, how will you be attracted to him when he's fully n*ked, I pray the marriage lasts.
To gbensh him to see if he can gbensh? Haven't you heard of men who take some stuff that makes them active anytime they want to meet a woman and anytime they don't take the stuff they can't gbensh well ?
ReplyDeleteMarry if you are very sure that you won't regret. Have you thought of the snoring that comes with such a body structure? Your kids might inherit those deep snoring and the whole house would be so noisy at night with everybody snoring. Can you cope with the body odour? Can he really support you to do some domestic work when you are tired or busy with something else. Him fit bend down sweet? Nna na wa o .
Once again, marry if you know you won't regret marrying him tomorrow.
Bend down sweep**
ReplyDeleteMy dear.lf he has money,go and enjoy your self.
ReplyDeleteAnd you think money is everything?
DeleteExcept he's Elon musk marry him
ReplyDeleteHello Poster,
ReplyDeleteThree years of digital intimacy have culminated in a profound physical shock. However, the core issue here isn't merely his size — it is the deliberate deception and the way your own fears may be negotiating with your standards.
The pressure of age, timing, and the desire for a lasting marriage can often dull our judgment, but marrying out of a fear of "missing out" is a high price to pay for what may become daily resentment in the longevity of staying married.
By using edited photos for years, he intentionally controlled your perception and denied you the right to his true image. He chose his own comfort over the truth. This reveals a troubling behavioural pattern: as a man who handles his insecurities by curating a false reality. Marriage cannot thrive on a foundation of managed perceptions; if he cannot be honest about his physical reality, he cannot be honest about a life together.
While many feel the "ticking clock" of age, attraction and trust are also important to a functional union. Right now, both are compromised and triggering a cycle of worry for you. If you choose to look past his physique, you must — at the very least — demand total transparency.
Address the lies regarding his weight gain directly and ask what else he may have chosen to hide. Pay close attention to his response: is he clear or evasive? Do not commit to this path until you see a genuine commitment to the truth, rather than just a promise to change.
Yet, I strongly advise against "testing" the relationship sexually to confirm your attraction. Doing so would only compromise your boundaries and further cloud your thinking. Instead, define what love means to you.
And if after everything, you still feel embarrassed, doubtful, or uneasy, respect that intuition. Do not feed your desperation. Marriage will only amplify the issues you choose to ignore now; it will not fix them.
I like it when you marry someone you're attracted to. It really helps in the marriage. But if you want to go ahead and marry him, all the best to you
ReplyDeleteObesity comes with a lot of health risks oh. I don’t mean to sound insensitive but what do if he develops a stroke and becomes bedridden? Is there anyway to ask about his health history? In all, seek God’s will for your marriage, whether the choice comes down to this suitor or another much better one.
ReplyDeleteNne follow your heart
ReplyDeletePoster abeg abort mission. That man is a walking corpse. the fact that you are not even thinking of him making you a widow at such a young age is beyond me.Today a colleague of mine shared with me how she lost her husband and guess what he was overweight , began to have issues with kidney and just like that kapufff!!! left her a widow at just 40years. she is 67 now about to get married again! nne m its not your job to help someone lose weight that falls solely on him.
ReplyDeleteThis chronicle makes me too unserious to respond the way I would have loved to because it is written in the funniest way possible. Poster, whatever choice you make I hope it's the best for you.
ReplyDeleteThere's DECIET. It's a big deal. Don't sleep it under carpet.
ReplyDeleteWhen you are calm, have a heart to heart talk with him on the deceit.
When the above is settled and you think you might consider, Then give him a condition: To loose weight to a certain kg. Before he comes back to propose. Assure him you will be waiting.
Meanwhile , run every medical checks . Every. Don't go gbenshing.
Money, abroad is not everything. And stop looking at your age. If for anything, you deserve the best at this age. Don't settle for less