My life is in such a mess, I cant even function well.
Good afternoon everyone, I will make my story really short, I got married to a man who I thought loved me but he only cared for himself and two years after, he divorced me in the most humiliating manner.
Good afternoon everyone, I will make my story really short, I got married to a man who I thought loved me but he only cared for himself and two years after, he divorced me in the most humiliating manner.
We had a child together, although he was paying child support and whenever he was down especially work related and life happenings, despite all he did to me I try to be there for him by encouraging him, motivating and even prayed with him.
He later remarried but didnt inform me, I found out on social media, we still stayed in touch because of our child, he never ceased to tell me ,how he fucked up by messing up our marriage and whenever I asked him, if he has remarried he would lie that there are no good ladies out there.
Unfortunately, that marriage also packed up but this time the woman left with everything he has ever worked for in his life(my siblings says its Karma), even took the child they had together, he didnt tell me all of these but found out on social media and through some of his statements but he never said anything to me.
After six years, he now came back that he was truly sorry and the number one reason he left the marriage was because I was bad in bed(he married me as a virgin) that for him to have a full conviction, we should first be intimate and teach me everything about intimacy
I didnt accept that arrangement, I asked him to tell me about his past but he still keeps on lying and whenever I mention anything from his past he get really angry.....
He keeps saying he regrets that past that I am always talking about and it often triggers him.
So recently, we were talking and I said why does he behave in an irrational and nonchalant manner, there is nothing this guy didnt say to me, that he wasn't coming back again because he feels I will always use that past against him and its something he hates to remember.
I think thats a manipulative thing, so I called off whatever it is that we were planning to have, I feel really terrible, heavy heart and stupid at the same time.
Note: He came back with nothing, just his personal clothings and job.
You people should abuse me, if you want...my friends feel I should move on that because he disvirgined me doesn't give me the licence to be stupid..
My siblings feels I am too available ...I will be 37 this year and never been in another relationship since I got divorced.
I am honestly tired.
He later remarried but didnt inform me, I found out on social media, we still stayed in touch because of our child, he never ceased to tell me ,how he fucked up by messing up our marriage and whenever I asked him, if he has remarried he would lie that there are no good ladies out there.
Unfortunately, that marriage also packed up but this time the woman left with everything he has ever worked for in his life(my siblings says its Karma), even took the child they had together, he didnt tell me all of these but found out on social media and through some of his statements but he never said anything to me.
After six years, he now came back that he was truly sorry and the number one reason he left the marriage was because I was bad in bed(he married me as a virgin) that for him to have a full conviction, we should first be intimate and teach me everything about intimacy
I didnt accept that arrangement, I asked him to tell me about his past but he still keeps on lying and whenever I mention anything from his past he get really angry.....
He keeps saying he regrets that past that I am always talking about and it often triggers him.
So recently, we were talking and I said why does he behave in an irrational and nonchalant manner, there is nothing this guy didnt say to me, that he wasn't coming back again because he feels I will always use that past against him and its something he hates to remember.
I think thats a manipulative thing, so I called off whatever it is that we were planning to have, I feel really terrible, heavy heart and stupid at the same time.
Note: He came back with nothing, just his personal clothings and job.
You people should abuse me, if you want...my friends feel I should move on that because he disvirgined me doesn't give me the licence to be stupid..
My siblings feels I am too available ...I will be 37 this year and never been in another relationship since I got divorced.
I am honestly tired.
STOP BEING SO AVAILABLE TO THIS LIAR AND MANIPULATOR !!!!
And you why did you not confront him directly? you are there waiting for confession?Do you have so much low self esteem that you will accept back an ex with a mouthful of lies and deceit?Na who dey marry who disvirgin am again?Imagine the most stoopid reason he divorced you and then wanted to gbensh you again with marriage proposal....
If you go back you big mumu wey nor sabi gbensh....
In fact my bad advice is that you should go back to him since you no like yourself.....Mscheeeeeeew!!!
You should date other men, 37 is still quite young. He came back to you because he wanted mumu. If he married you as a virgin and he was the experienced one why did he not teach you when you were still married. He is full of shyt and needs a strong purging. Who gets up and leave their virgin wife over something like that can be taught. He left because he wanted to and he thought the grass was greener elsewhere. Let him stew in his retribution. Move on!
ReplyDeleteThank you, he claimed he was p**sy wiped but still didnt later marry the girl, that she married someone else.
DeleteThank you stella.
ReplyDeleteHe is going to dump you again. Hope you know that?
ReplyDeleteIt's good you called it off. Never go back to that man.
ReplyDeleteA man divorced you in the most embarrassing way and remarried but now coming back because he lost everything to that woman after thinking the grass is greener on the other side. You get mind to continue communication that is outside the wellbeing of your child with him. That slap wen Stella give you nor reach wetin dey my mind. You better carry yourself enter another relationship if that is the only way to get that man out of your mind
ReplyDeleteOh ye women. Why are all always doing the wrong things. Can you dump and run away from this born liar already
ReplyDeleteYou better not go back to him, it's not as if he even came back fully loaded but fully empty, you would have used his money to console yourself, he's not even pretending to have changed for good, leave that olden days belief of he met me as a virgin bla bla bla, if you go back, that means you will go and chop your remaining suffering that you ran away for, be free to date other men.
ReplyDeleteThis belief of I must end up with someone that deflowered me is a bullshit, I wish I knew better, I wouldn't have been in this my current position.
Move on now when you have only one child, don't go and add to your problem.
Because He is the one who disflowered you, you want to kpai there? After leaving my ex husband who dis-flowered me was when I enjoyed the best sex of my life and had a good squirt which I never experience in the 7years marriage. He married you a virgin and was expecting you to be a pro in bed? something he would have put you through as the expert that he is. some men don't even know how to handle a woman or take their time in touching the right places yet they expect them to perform magic in bed
ReplyDeleteSo in your mind, you will go back to him if he behaves well and come begging right? some ladies with their low self-esteem is so worrisome. You were 31 years when he divorced you and you refused to enter another relationship because you are hoping he will come back to his sense. you kept monitoring his activities and getting yourself hurt. Time you would have used to have a child for a serious man because you cant tell me no man has shown you interest since you left the marriage. Receive sense my dear
ReplyDeleteVery very low. I pity your daughters and DIL
DeleteThat man is a USER. See how he is rubbishing his life & wants you in that rubbish.
ReplyDeletePls forget about any relationship with him unless as a father to your child.
Love yourself
Focus on yourself
Take care of yourself
A better man will find you. All the best dear 🤗
you should never take an ex who left you because you are not good in bed and failed to teach you what you can learnt and become good as he want. If your spouse cannot teach you how to become a better person is best you don't stay with such spouse. Allow him to go away, he will cook you for free and give you another baby to take care of.
ReplyDeleteYou are not fed up with his lies, he is not a truthful person, of he was so good why did his ex ran away with his properties? i will tell you that he is not telling you the truth, face front and allow him go face his karma. You should open your heart for others to come, love will find you. You are giving him attention and you still want him to continue talking down on you.
my problem is he is coming back for the wrong reasons. And he expects you to just agree. no. Put some value on your self. Maybe you are the calm quiet type that doesn't like drama.
ReplyDeleteall the best.
Poster, yes, you are too available, I agree with your siblings. I think you should start putting yourself first.
ReplyDeleteBest wishes to you.
Hmm! your story is almost verbatim like my mum's story. She just finally moved on and got a divorce at the age of 50 after being seperated for over 20 years. She was still holding on due to emotions and religion. she would listen to his rants and complaints and be there for him even whilst he was married to another woman. telling her all this nonsense your ex is telling you.
ReplyDeleteThis is not a fate i wish on anybody. Now, i'm the only person my mum can lean on emotionally and in all other ways, believe me, it is very very weighty. I dont want your child to be in my shoes tomorrow. I dont want you to be in my mum shoes tomorrow.
I beg you, do EVERYTHING to forget this man so your heart can see road to form another relationship. Disvirgin means nothing oh. If he comes back, bet me, he must leave again. Old age is not good without companionship oh, it is almost miserable. Dont say i did not warn you.
Forgive all typos and grammar errors, hastily typing from computer
Poster, I hope you read this. Don't be a footmat again 👣
DeleteUseless man
ReplyDeleteIt's the guy who's not good in bed! Since he's the "master" the he should teach you the ropes! Don't beat yourself up too much! It's the silly man who doesn't know what he wants! Goood riddance!...
ReplyDeleteKelvin Dat Edo Boi....
@Stella. I so much like this slap.
ReplyDeleteMaybe it will reset her head
I was reading and hoping that Stella gives you a brain resetting hot slap and she didn't disappoint,it's obvious you don't like yourself,that's why you wrote this instead of putting him where he belongs.
ReplyDeleteI was reading and hoping that Stella gives you a brain resetting hot slap and she didn't disappoint.Poster,you don't like yourself,that's why you're writing this instead of putting him where he belongs,kwantinue
ReplyDeleteI think women that lose their virginity late always want to stick to the man for better for worse. Me that lost my own on time can’t just relate.
ReplyDeleteThe most stupiid chronicle ever written. Why will you allow someone treat you like this? Even if you don't value yourself, value the pain your mother went through in the labour ward to born you and put some respect on yourself for your mother’s sake.
ReplyDeleteYou this stubborn pick me woman, I stopped reading immediately you said... Well never mind. You're the most stupid woman on earth 🤬. You purposely waited for him to finish with his second wife and come back to you yes. You deserve every pain you're getting from him and believe me you will see more agege since you've refused to have sense. Mumu woman because there are no other men abi. He will use you and heal and then marry another wife after chasing you again
ReplyDelete17.27, please don't take out your frustrations on her, why use the word st*pid on her? Are you any better?
DeleteMy sister, move on o. Leave that man alone. No be better person
ReplyDeleteHow did you cross into 2026 with this brain? And na dis brain dey help you cross main road? Haba mana madam.
ReplyDeleteIf you make the mistake of accepting that man back.....
Are men not coming for you?
ReplyDeleteI don't understand why you can't move on from him..
Take good care of yourself,look good,make friends,go out more and met other people..
Even if men are not coming, did they tie her placenta with that ragarogo man?
DeleteMy dear, the poster does not value herself. Period 📌
Thanks Stellz, that E-slap was necessary.
ReplyDeletePoster, please move on! Someone better is waiting for you, dont think of going back, take ma'am Stella advice.
ReplyDeleteEnabler!!!
ReplyDeleteIt's her type that enables bad behaviour!!
You are such an embarrassment
Shebi, I used to preach virgins should marry virgins. Man wey don test omi osa ati omi okun will now be hunting for virgin to marry. Na una sabi. Pele poster.
ReplyDeleteThe virgin thing is just an excite
DeleteIf she wasn’t he’d be the type of say something about that too
Sorry to say ...
ReplyDeleteYour self esteem is 0% haba mana 🤦🏻
Hope Stella slap enter well . 😎
He's a narcissist. Find out the meaning. Never go back to an ex cos you will regret it and what he will do next will be worse than what he did previously. Move on with your life. Someone that treated you this bad and you still have time to be discussing trash with him instead of limiting your discussion to the welfare of your child. Have relationships and remarry
ReplyDeleteI don't know why you haven't moved on. You're a real mumu and am pissed at your naivety and stupidity.
You have to much access to him after the divorce.pls move on.Must it be him?
ReplyDeleteYou deserve the slap Aunty Stella gave you as a reset button. At 37, I believe you should have some level of confidence and know when to walk away from Drama. Please leave him alone
ReplyDeleteMake I mark register
ReplyDeleteHello Poster,
ReplyDeleteYou are currently mistaking familiarity for safety, and are attached to a version of him that never truly existed. By remaining an emotional anchor for a man who discarded you, you have inadvertently taught him that your boundaries are negotiable.
He lies easily, avoids accountability, and reframes his failures as your shortcomings. His return is not a romantic epiphany; it is a strategic retreat to the only place where he is still granted unearned grace.
His demand for intimacy as a "trial" is a profound lack of respect, reducing your worth to a service. This shows he understood your weakness better than you understand your strength.
Yet, he uses anger to deflect from his history because your memory of the truth threatens his control. You feel "stupid" because your conscience is finally rejecting a narrative that requires you to conform to his comfort.
What you feel now; heaviness, shame, exhaustion, is the cost of ignoring what is already clear. And if you by chance allow him the act of “teaching intimacy” he requested, you would be opening a door of mind control, without commitment. Each time you stay emotionally available, you confirm he can return without change.
You did one thing right: you stepped back. Hold that line. But you must stop seeking a confession he is not honest enough to give. Limit all contact strictly to co-parenting. No emotional support, no private conversations. You’re not late. You’re stuck.
Stop tracking his life. Redirect that attention to rebuilding yours; socially, emotionally, romantically. That's the responsibility you owe yourself now - work on it. And you will be protecting the woman you are becoming, not to salvage the man he refused to be.
He has consistently shown you that he is not your future, in many disrespectful ways. Lock him out for good, forgive yourself, and walk away. The grass may not be greener on this other side, but you will find a fertile ground to cultivate newer and more meaningful acquaintances. At 37, your choices are still endless.
Take care of your mind.
Thanks Oge
DeleteKai see E slap oo 🤣🤣🤣 Stella nwayo biko 😅
ReplyDeleteAnty why asking stupid questions eeh, he just wants to be managing you so that you will be cooking for him and born more children for him if possible,that's all
NB:he will have the main gbensha outside since you no sabi gbenshing nah🙄and you didn't explore all these while to learn how to her head upside down😅
I stopped at where he said to teach you about intimacy. Rubbish man.
ReplyDeleteNobody was born a professional in the act of bedmatics . Everybody was once a virgin and today's experts became expert as they practice the act subsequently with an intentional partner who is out to teach them better. It's so annoying seeing people say someone is not good in bet because they married as virgins.
We had a female marriage counselor who became very good in bed even though she married as a virgin and her husband has been the only one. When you gives you an advice on how to handle things in bed you'd think she has been doing this with multiple partners before she found her husband. She learnt these skills even without watching p*rn. She read stuff online before they wedding and since then those knowledge has been helping her develope good skills.
I no go through wetin I type. If you see mistake just use your eyes correct am
@Poster You’re not confused, you’re only choosing to ignore what is painfully obvious. This man has shown you repeatedly that he is selfish, dishonest, manipulative, and only shows up when it benefits him. He left you in a humiliating way, lied to you for years, used you emotionally when it suited him, remarried without telling you, lied again, lost everything, and now suddenly remembers you exist? And the best he can offer after six years is “Let me sleep with you first so I can confirm you’re good (in bed) enough this time.”? That’s not love. That’s disrespect at the highest level. He doesn’t respect you, he doesn’t value you, he doesn’t even see you as a partner, just a backup plan, and right now, you’re making it easy for him. You say you feel stupid? The only “stupid” thing here would be going back to him after everything you just listed out yourself. You’re 37, not 17 and life didn’t end because one man divorced you. What will ruin your life is tying yourself again to someone who has already proven he can destroy your peace without blinking. Na you sabi!
ReplyDeleteYour husband is a narcissist and won’t change on the other hand u need to seek deliverance. And break soul ties. It’s not normal for men not to approach you. If you masturbate which unfortunately virgins do pls stop cos all these bring spirit spouses. They frustrate your effort to marry and have sex with u in the dress. You need to be more prayerful. That chapter is closed with that man. Check your dreams and life pattern. May God help u
ReplyDeleteNauseating pickme and typical nigerian flip flop man.
ReplyDeleteI can't be bothered to advise you.
Women like you have empty brains.
It's like pouring water into a bucket without a bottom.
Do whatever with your life.
I just hope you don't reproduce with this kind of empty brain.
Thank you Anonymous. No need advicing her. Annoying woman.
DeleteSTOP BEING SO AVAILABLE TO THIS LIAR AND MANIPULATOR !!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd you why did you not confront him directly? you are there waiting for confession?Do you have so much low self esteem that you will accept back an ex with a mouthful of lies and deceit?Na who dey marry who disvirgin am again?Imagine the most stoopid reason he divorced you and then wanted to gbensh you again with marriage proposal....
If you go back you big mumu wey nor sabi gbensh....
In fact my bad advice is that you should go back to him since you no like yourself.....Mscheeeeeeew!!!
Sdk a lot of people still marry as Virgins. Poster the giuy is just lying about leaving you for intimacy reasons, what about the second wife whst's the reason, he is unstable please flee snd next time be very careful and if you have so mucb time on your hands go get skills and more skills.
ReplyDelete