How are you navigating your adult kids? Not easy huh?
Wednesday, March 04, 2026
Motherhood And Fatherhood Chronicles
We are not just referring to parents with little kids, we are also talking to parents with adult children....
How are you navigating your adult kids? Not easy huh?
How are you navigating your adult kids? Not easy huh?
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Not easy but it’s all good. Jesus remains king
ReplyDeleteDon't have adult kids. Let me learn 😊
ReplyDeleteWaiting for my kids to grow into their adulthood lol
ReplyDeletesomeday we will be here to drop tips.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, parenting does not end when children grow up. It simply changes form.
ReplyDeleteUntil we buried one of our parents this January, they were still present in our lives - still guiding, still correcting, still caring in the quiet ways only a parent can.
Raising adults is a different terrain. There are no school runs, no bedtime routines, no permission slips. Instead, there are boundaries, distance, mutual respect, difficult conversations, disappointments you cannot fix, and choices you must watch from the sidelines. It is not easy. It was never meant to be.
With adult children, control must give way to influence - you'd have to be innovative in guiding that influence in the right direction. Authority must mature into counsel. You move from directing their lives to respecting their autonomy. That transition can bruise the ego, stain one's pride, and stretch the heart at the same time. Welcome to the world of palpitations.
Some days you will question your earlier decisions. Other days you will wonder if you are doing too much or too little or indifferent. You may struggle with when to speak and when to stay silent. That tension is real.
But this season carries its own quiet reward. You begin to see the values you planted take root - if you are hands-on. You witness their judgement form. You learn who they are becoming beyond your shadow.
As my late father would emphasise, navigating adult children from proper teenage years requires three disciplines which you shouldn't ignore:
Restraint - offering advice without imposing it.
Respect - acknowledging their independence, even when you disagree.
Relationship - choosing connection over control.
It is not easy. But it is meaningful.
Parenthood in this phase is less about raising children and more about building enduring relationships with grown human beings. That calls for humility, patience, and emotional maturity.
As I witness every day, navigating adult children feels complex, but we are not alone. Growth is happening, for them, and for us in ways we have come to terms with.
With little kids you can control them to a large extent. With adult children of university age and upwards, if you are still in their lives, especially in obodo oyinbo countries count yourself thankful. Some friends and I spent HC interceding for our friends' adult children who have decided to cut off their parents and to fair, some a definitely justified. Please BVs, train your children with discipline but more importantly with LOVE!! Do not care what people may say and be your children's champion in every way. One of the children we are praying for was treated very badly by his dad because they thought he was academically dull. Turns out he was just dyslexic. Now that he is the most successful of them all and suddenly they are being nice to him but oga still remembers the nightly shaming and exclusion. May God help us all to do well by our kids.
ReplyDelete