In her words,
“I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and they asked me a very important question. They asked me why I haven't remarried after my first marriage. And honestly, the answer came to me very easily. It wasn't even something I had to think of.”
She explained that dating as a single parent is a completely different journey...
“Now, if you're a single mother, or a single parent or you're having to raise a child on your own and you're looking to remarry, your decision-making has to be different from when you were single.”
For her, it is simple ...
“You're not just choosing a partner for yourself anymore. You are choosing a second parent for your child.”
Damilola noted that many people focus only on how a partner treats them, but fail to focus on how they treat the children...
“I feel like a lot of us could be focusing on how this person treats us, how this person makes us feel, how much they love us, how much they show up for us, but we also need to pay attention to how they show up for our children.”
She made it clear that she has met wonderful men, but that isn’t enough...
“It's not that I haven't met some amazing men, but there's a deeper question beyond all that, and it is, do they have the morals, the values, the character, that I would like my child to grow up around or to be influenced by.”
For her, the standard is non‑negotiable...
“You have to be sure that the person you are bringing into your life and into your child's life or your children's life is capable of being a good parent. Someone who would treat your child like theirs so much so that if a stranger walked into a room where the three of you or all of you were, they would never for once doubt that your children were your partner's biological children.”
She warned against letting emotions cloud judgment...
“It's not a decision that you should make carelessly. You cannot be so caught up in your feelings that you do not think about your child's needs.”
And she ends with a reminder that resonates with many single parents...
“Because at the end of the day you're not just building a relationship, you are building a home. So if you are in this position, a man or a woman, choose wisely, not just for you, but for the life you are creating for your child or your children.”
“I was having a conversation with a friend of mine and they asked me a very important question. They asked me why I haven't remarried after my first marriage. And honestly, the answer came to me very easily. It wasn't even something I had to think of.”
She explained that dating as a single parent is a completely different journey...
“Now, if you're a single mother, or a single parent or you're having to raise a child on your own and you're looking to remarry, your decision-making has to be different from when you were single.”
For her, it is simple ...
“You're not just choosing a partner for yourself anymore. You are choosing a second parent for your child.”
Damilola noted that many people focus only on how a partner treats them, but fail to focus on how they treat the children...
“I feel like a lot of us could be focusing on how this person treats us, how this person makes us feel, how much they love us, how much they show up for us, but we also need to pay attention to how they show up for our children.”
She made it clear that she has met wonderful men, but that isn’t enough...
“It's not that I haven't met some amazing men, but there's a deeper question beyond all that, and it is, do they have the morals, the values, the character, that I would like my child to grow up around or to be influenced by.”
For her, the standard is non‑negotiable...
“You have to be sure that the person you are bringing into your life and into your child's life or your children's life is capable of being a good parent. Someone who would treat your child like theirs so much so that if a stranger walked into a room where the three of you or all of you were, they would never for once doubt that your children were your partner's biological children.”
She warned against letting emotions cloud judgment...
“It's not a decision that you should make carelessly. You cannot be so caught up in your feelings that you do not think about your child's needs.”
And she ends with a reminder that resonates with many single parents...
“Because at the end of the day you're not just building a relationship, you are building a home. So if you are in this position, a man or a woman, choose wisely, not just for you, but for the life you are creating for your child or your children.”
Lol..ma'am would you accept another lady's child as yours if the table were to be turned honestly ?
ReplyDeleteIts not going to be easy for a man to immediately at first.its a work in progress.
Concentrate on your child and take responsibilities regardles of if a man loves you or not.
Few men are honest about this.
Regardless she deserves happiness
She's right on this one.
ReplyDeleteAfter whôr!ng for a while lifetime shebi?
ReplyDeleteYou would know as you were also whoring beside her.
Delete