IRRECONCILABLE DIFFERENCES
I recently broke up with my girlfriend. This is someone that whenever I tell her something, she will always want me to show her proof or evidence before she's convinced. But whenever she tells me anything, she would want me to believe it.
Lol. and I broke up with her because I've seen that she can never change. I don't know if it's her background or her church type. My now ex-girlfriend would ask me to taste anything I offered her. I had to break up with her after we had several discussions that yielded little or no results. Cos if you don't trust me, what exactly are we dating for and i dislike fetish people.
We were planning to get married.
Now I don't know how to explain to family and friends who know us together and those she has reported me to.
What kind of lady is she? Please tell anyone that asks you the truth.......And dont let anyone convince or force you to marry her cos it will be dead on arrival....
What kind of lady is she? Please tell anyone that asks you the truth.......And dont let anyone convince or force you to marry her cos it will be dead on arrival....
If you are trying to shield her and dont want to say anything then just say irreconcilable difference....
My bad advice to you, if she doesnt stop carrying you up and down to judge him, just initiate one more gbenshing and go into ghost mode......
Wow!
ReplyDeleteI tease my partner all the time about how anything I give him or he sees me with, he will just consume with q.
Lol!
She has trust issues
tell anyone who care to know that you cannot be with someone who does not trust you. How can you marry a person who never trust you, she feels you want to unalive her. What does she has that is making her distrust you? i hope you are not a terrible person that ladies don't want to trust you?
ReplyDeleteStellz dis ur "bad advice" dis days dey funny and real tho...
ReplyDeleteIf you have checked yourself and you weren't a pathological liar whom she has caught in his web of lies during the course of the relationship;then it's a trauma/trust issue and you aren't a therapist to fix an adults past trauma.so just move on!
ReplyDeleteIf anyone asks you what happened between you two,don't throw her under the bus or make yourself a saint;it's the basic respect you can give her from afar for the sake of the good times you shared in the past.
You can simply answer that you both were incompatible hence after you both discussed,you had to part ways so as to enable each other find their own missing rib.then end it with "but she is a great lady and I really wish her all the best".
No too much Shalaye,and everyone moves on with their respective honour.
Trust,love and commitment are very necessary criterias for every relationship;if it's not there then it's just a building with no single foundation.
Hope this helps.
@MARTINS
Choose peace over pressure. If trust is missing, love alone isn’t enough to sustain a relationship.
ReplyDeleteShe has trust issues.
ReplyDeleteExactly. Poster regain her trust if you can. I wish you good luck.
DeleteJoan, that is how ppl end up in never ending cycles. If you can't handle someone's trait then move on. She will find who loves her just the way she is.
DeleteWhat is her reasonings for not trusting you? She has trust issues that the thing
ReplyDeleteThank God for your life. You were clearly dating a mad person wearing clothes to cover up. How did you date her up to the extent of wanting to marry her or introducing her to your family and friends? Na wah for you. Na God save you. You better face front and don't look back.
ReplyDeletePoster, That lady was reacting out of a deep Trauma.
ReplyDeleteDid you ever ask her why? what did she say.
something happened that Made her have trus issues especially when it has to do with food.
okay you have broken up. Just let your family know it's over.
She sef why does she want to stay with someone she doesn’t trust
ReplyDeleteExactly! You don't trust the person break it off before marriage talk even come up.
DeleteI couldn’t stand someone like this. What an annoying individual with their glaring trust issues. If you married that person and you said you went anywhere, you would have to snap photos or do video to prove it. You would not know the peace and contentment of just being trusted. The very thing feels like a form of domestic violence, constantly having to prove yourself. She is too controlling, but why did you fulfill those ridiculous requests over and over again? Could you not open your mouth and tell her to stop with the foolishness. Folks sure be missing red flags early on. That marriage would have been dead on arrival. Thank goodness you woke up out of your stupor.
ReplyDeleteStella this your bad advice these days, it get as he be.
ReplyDeletePoster, have you ever asked her why you must taste anything you wanted to give her before she consumed it, maybe something happened that made her the way she is.
I'm not telling you to reconcile with her, just tell people that two of you are not compatible and you went your separate ways.
You made the right decision to end a relationship marked by an unhealthy, one sided power dynamic, where your trust was questioned while your partner demanded blind faith.
ReplyDeleteYou know what???....Avoid mudslinging. Keep it Simple and short. Tell people,... "We weren't compatible long term," or "We had fundamental differences that couldn't be resolved." You get!
You do not owe anyone a detailed list of her behaviors. Avoid getting dragged into long conversations explaining yourself. A final, calm statement is enough.
Prioritize your mental peace by keeping explanations to friends and family concise and firm.
This your bad advice get as e be Stella. Poster, since you've broke with her just tell anyone that ask that you guys are incompatible.
ReplyDeleteShe has a past she has not healed from.Try and change her.
ReplyDeleteGbeshing ooo.
ReplyDeleteYou don't need that kind of energy around you. If she has that type of trust issues, it also means she's capable of doing something like that as well
ReplyDeleteHello Poster,
ReplyDeleteWhat you’ve described isn’t just a difficult relationship. It’s one where trust never stood on equal ground. You were expected to prove yourself, while she asked for blind belief without questioning. That imbalance will naturally turn any connection into tension.
Take that example of asking you to taste food before she eats it. On the surface, it may look like caution. But underneath, it points to something deeper - a belief that you might not be safe. And once that belief settled in, it shaped everything else.
It’s easy to frame this entirely as her issue, but that wouldn’t be complete. You stayed. You adjusted. You kept trying to meet a standard that kept shifting. In doing that, you unintentionally reinforced the dynamic. The more you tried to prove yourself, the more it validated her doubt.
Her behaviour likely came from somewhere - fear, past hurt, or both. But the impact on you was clear. You were always on the defensive. Over time, that drains respect. You begin to feel frustrated and unseen, while she remains guarded. Neither of you feels secure.
Ending the relationship was a reasonable decision. You reached a point where what you were tolerating no longer matched what you could actually live with.
Going forward, keep it simple and honest when people ask. You couldn’t build a future with someone who saw you as a potential threat rather than a partner. That’s not to blame. It’s you being clear on the kind of dynamics you desire for a partner, and for yourself.
Take this as a line in the sand. Don’t wait until patterns settle in before you question them. Speak up early. Set boundaries. Ask the uncomfortable questions. If the foundation isn’t mutual on fundamental fronts, don’t try to fix it by overgiving.
Be calm. Be firm. When telling
your family and friends the simple truth. No need for maligning or long explanations. Say you just recognise the moment something stops being healthy. So you stepped away before it became something harder to leave.
I guess she's acting from experience.. she needs to get over with whatever she went through.
ReplyDelete