DOGS Corner

There I was that morning of June 9,2020. Standing in apprehension and waiting for what would inevitably change my life forever.

 I was about to become a father. I didn't know what to make of it. I was apprehensive and on edge. It didn't help that we used an epidural and the wife was so relaxed and on her phone even when she was at 7cm.

 I was outside the labour ward and we were chatting on whatsapp all through. A woman in 'labour.' The nurses had to come tell her she needed to push before she got to it.

At exactly 3:19am, my son popped out. I didn't hear madam scream in labour pains so when the door of the labour ward opened and the matron came out and told me that I've become a dad, I was startled. 

There isn't a manual to this so I was at a loss on what to do. A few moments later, he was brought out and handed to me. I melted at the very sight of him. Nothing else seemed to matter at that moment but this bundle I held in my arms. Momentarily, I forgot to inquire how my wife was faring and started walking towards the exit of the ward until an attendant drew my attention. 

She collected the baby and returned him to his mom.

I was excited but at the same time worried. It was during Covid and business wasn’t doing too well. A lot ran through my mind.

 I placed a number of calls across to as many as I could to let them know the good news. DOGgedity has become a dad! 

I wasn’t allowed to see my wife until very much later. The first word that left her mouth when she came out was, “So, this is it.” I didn’t know what she meant by ‘it’ and I certainly wasn’t going to ask what she meant. 

I simply drew her close and hugged her in silence for a good bit. I think I might have had a teary eye or two.

The next morning, we got discharged and this is where my internal monologue went haywire. Baby in my arms, wife and mother-in-law in tow, I approached the hospital gate. I was actually half expecting to be stopped at the gate by security or something. To be asked if I had a license or just about anything that made me qualify to hold that bundle in my arms and walk out of the gate with it.

 I was expecting that the government bureaucratic process would throw me through the wringer with all manner of questions. None of that came. Crazy thoughts were running riot in my mind.

Days later, it began to dawn on me. This baby is mine. My blood, my name, my responsibility and mine alone. He came to the world with nothing and if he must have anything, it would have to come from me and that would remain so for the next 18 years. It was a mindshift experience.

 One, my wife and I had to wade through with little knowledge. We didn’t know post-natal depression was a thing, we didn’t know the drastic change in sleeping schedules was something to prepare for. I for one certainly didn’t know the drastic effects childbirth has on a woman’s body and the first time I saw her belly just ‘pour’ out over her jeans trousers I was taken aback. 

In my pristine innocence, I had assumed that everything just snaps back to shape the moment a woman gives birth. It was quite a steep, long learning curve for me.

We’ve gone back to that ward twice more. I will never understand what it is in that ward that appeals to women. Why they want to go back again and again. I actually only wanted just a kid. But that wasn’t going to fly with the wife. After the third, I stood my ground and told her “Babe, I’m done.” 

And God knows I meant and still mean it. Lately, she has been whiffling and gnawing about adding a fourth. But dat one concern her, me I no submit any application again. Make I catch myself. 

She’s working on getting as much of her pre-childbirth body back as she can. I owe her the duty to encourage her. Having another child will be so counter-productive to that. But if that desire to carry belle again dey make dem craze o, me I no know and I no wan know. Dat boot wey hang so, e no go ever come down again.

To every woman who has undergone that journey, entered that ward and came out and still did it again, I salute you. Thank you for the sacrifice you made.