Are you married and wish you had lived with your spouse before getting married to them?Would it have saved you the stress of whatever you are going through?Are you single and thinking about living a little with your boo before marrying them?
I personally think it is good to live together for a few months to see how they are indoors.....Find out about their hygiene and try to correct it and others...
Lets discuss this cos its not a bad thing to do!
I'm 100% in support of living together before getting married. No one can put up a facade for long. If he or she is hiding who they really, they need RMD's acting skills to keep that hidden when you guys are under the same roof.
ReplyDeleteOutside level of hygiene which is very important, you get the chance to discover the presence or absence of key home building skills, money management skills and of course how he or she handles pressure.
Plus you would want to know if they fart and snore like banshees in bed so you can make plans for the appropriate pillow you'd buy to suffocate them in their sleep when the time arises. Very important 😂
I guess you don't fart and snore. Weldone.
DeleteMurderer spotted.
DeleteGeneral public take note.
That was humor, guys.
DeleteI don’t think I subscribe to this idea of living together before marriage!
ReplyDeleteImagine doing every single thing a married person is already doing only to end up getting dumped!
I share this sentiment
DeleteI agree.
DeleteI used to think it was okay while debating long distance relationships between continents until i understood that it doesnt favour the woman like that.
He wont feel the need to propose and she go dey born dey go.
Next thing is to go for smallie afterall they were not married.
I have a lovely lady in this position, I used to think northerners are more cultured than sputherners in such matfers till i met them.
Shs dey born dey go, hopefully he will do the right thing.
So true. In his eyes, he won't deem it important to do the right thing and probably dump you at the end
DeleteHow I wish I can like this your comment. SDK should please try and make the option available if she can. Kai ❤️
DeleteThank you Eka 👍
DeleteThe man may even be dragging his feet concerning marriage. Since he's getting everything marriage has.
I agree with you 100%
DeleteCohabiting or not is not a determinant of a successful marriage.
ReplyDeleteBesides, Bible says 'marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled'. I'll rather go with not living together before the wedding day.
Bv God's Favor
DeleteI am sure you ovey every rule in the Holy book. Abeg Stella abeg dey delay to publish this sort of comment, it just kills serious conversations.
Living together in the abroad (where they havs cpmmom law) is much better and ill save money.
lot of sense. The Bible says flee from all appearance of evil...so how are Christians even talking about cohabiting? Where is it an option in the Bible?
DeleteWould God want anyone to cohabit...od God was a commenter would he say yes sure go ahead and cohabit?
We call on God not because we love him but because we want to use him ... we don't even respect nor rate his opinion...
My dear 15:53, I am an imperfect person praying to be better everyday.
DeleteWho cares about the common law in your abroad, the word of God is sure and can not be compromised by our actions or inactions.
I cohabited with my estranged husband in my parents house for five good years before we eventually got married, but you know what, the marriage is packed up already, won't you wonder why?
Have you asked yourself why in your abroad some of the marriage pack up some months or years after marriage despite cohabiting for several years.
Bv God's Favor
Living together before marraige doesn't change anything, people can pretend plus marraige wey go end go end wether you lived together or not.
ReplyDeleteI don't subscribe to living together o,
Hahahahahahaha funny, but true 💯
DeleteA friend did it some years into their relationship.I disagreed with her when it was first proposed but she went ahead and I supported her along the way.They rented a house together and stayed together whenever he visited,he worked in another town.My reason for advising against it initially was that it wasn't godly and the fear that he may develop cold feet about commiting further since he was getting everything for free.They thanked and ignored my advice, co-habited for about a year and got married.They've been married for about 4years and still waxing strong,they have their issues like couples do,once threatened to go separate but they are still together and stronger.Don't know if they will prefer that if given the opportunity again,but I think they will.
ReplyDeleteI didn't co-habit with Hubby,I visited about twice,I didn't see everything but I saw enough to make an informed decision.Given another opportunity,I will still choose that.
The co- habitation may with for some dear. But it had its disadvantages.
DeleteI don't subscribe to living together before marriage
ReplyDeleteIt is not a bad thing to do says who? The so called people abroad how many of them are their marriages working? Chris Brown and Rihanna did they marry? Cardi B and Offset. How far? Nick Cannon and Maria Careh. The list is endless. If you want to cohabit go ahead and do it but we shouldn't make it look like there's nothing wrong with it. Everything is wrong with it. It has helped create alot of baby Mama's and absentee dads than any other thing under the sun. And if after cohabitation they don't find themselves compatible, they move on to the next person amounting body counts, as though they want to generate constant electricity for Nigeria. This issue is causing alot of havoc and menace in our society today than you would ever know. There's no safe sex like no sex. And there are many ways to know a person. It is not by exchanging body fluids under one roof, and wearing big polo every day doing semo or rice. Go on dates. Have meaningful conversation. Talk talk and talk. You don't have to live under the same roof to talk and build intimacy. The internet has made it easier. There's Whatsapp. Messenger. Video calls etc.
ReplyDeleteAbove communication, what would help you make the right choice is when you invest in your mind. Only people who know better do better. So, read books, watch videos and find yourself in gatherings and workshops that increase your marital IQ. You need a mentor too. Someone to guide and hold your hand. Because you are the one who is in love. Your mentor is not. They would easily spot what you yourself may never see.
I don't agree to the idea of living together before marriage. You end up doing wifey duties free of charge and at the end of the day, he marries some one else.
ReplyDeleteIt doesn't go well with my personal beliefs to live with a man before marriage. My parents strongly friwn at it too 👎 In short to sleep over, I will be so uncomfortable 😄
ReplyDeleteIt may seem to enable both man & woman know each other well but people hide their character & behavior.
My friend was staying with a guy for almost six years, the guy went to school, graduated while she was struggling with OND plus the stress of doing madam work for the man, the guy will go for lectures, come back home to a fresh homemade food, eat relax, do his assignments and go out to gist with guys.
ReplyDeleteHe was progressing but the lady was not,last last uncle went to serve and that was the end, thought karma or whatever caught up with him cos the lady got married to someone else who's doing very well and the guy is still struggling till date though he's also married, I don't know if it's his kadara or karma
Chai. Am sure she regretted it. Thank God her 🙏
DeleteDuring my uni days, I saw alot of students live together in the name of love and relationship, then the girl do wifey duties and all that, At that very moment, I just knew it wasn't for me, I absolutely do not subscribe to it.
ReplyDeleteTango dear, long time 🤗
DeleteI dikt subscribe to it
ReplyDeleteThe chance of this working out or not is 50/50. I know of someone abroad that cohabited with his gf before they got married only to end up getting a divorce.
ReplyDeleteNot a good idea. My cousin did and ended up a baby mama with 4 children.
ReplyDeleteIn this present day and time, I support it 💯
ReplyDeleteI don't really like it even though it works for some people, but the ratio is very small.
ReplyDeleteI knew a couple who cohabited for almost ten years, they got married and the marriage didn't last two years, they started having issues from sixth month into their marriage.
I was not even expecting them to get married again, and if they wanted to, not holy matrimony because they had been cohabitating for a very long time and they were well known by the two families, the husband impregnated another woman after six months of their wedding and he was even beating her blue and black, and the wife was lamenting that she aborted for him more than six times before they got married, she couldn't get pregnant till they separated and husband even left house to his pregnant side chick house, I don't know if they later get back together or not, but for more than five years they separated, they weren't together.
I don't like stereotypical ideas. As a young woman. I broke most of those myth and opinion. I lived with my husband,during weekends,I will leave school,during weekends. Cook and clean for him. We are married for over twenty years now and still discovering ourselves.
ReplyDeleteThis conversation is more complicated than it looks. Indeed, it does not favour the woman, yet many people are living and known in the city as couples but not married in the true sense.
ReplyDeleteThere's the family pressure. The religious weight. The societal moral compass. The cultural expectation that you go from courtship to wedding without any pitstop in between. And for a lot of people, those things are genuinely important. Faith isn't a small thing. Family isn't a small thing.
But there's a tension we don't talk much about - the alarmingly high number of people who are deeply unhappy in marriages they rushed into or took their time, because the timeline looked right, and the setup aligned, even when the relationship didn't.
They prayed together. They went for counselling. They checked in every sense. They did everything by the book. And then they moved in. Only to discover a whole stranger altogether in their first month.
If you're someone who can't or won't live together before marriage - for faith, family, or personal conviction - then at minimum, pay dire attention. Visit unannounced sometimes. Have real conversations as the relationship develops and evolves; about money, about roles, about what happens when things go wrong. Don't just plan a wedding. Prepare for married life.
I personally think there's real value in seeing how someone lives before you commit your whole life to living with them - especially with the Nigerian wrong mindset of "God frowns at divorce". Hygiene. Temperament. And all other habitual tendencies. How they treat people when they're comfortable and off-guard. With intentional timeline and discipline, you learn more in a month of shared space than in two years of dates, chat, phone and video calls.
Because there's a kind of contempt that familiarity breeds. And that's just the truth.
I don't think it's a bad idea. I wish I did at some point self.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteIn today’s world, cohabitation before marriage has become increasingly common, often seen as a practical step in building a relationship. Many view it as an opportunity to understand compatibility, share responsibilities, and prepare for the future. However, beyond the surface, it raises important questions about commitment, purpose, and long-term stability.
Cohabitation can create the illusion of permanence without the foundation of true commitment. When two people begin to live together without a clear, defined covenant, it becomes easy to enjoy the benefits of marriage without fully embracing its responsibilities. Over time, this can lead to comfort without growth, where the relationship loses direction and intentionality.
Emotionally, it can also complicate matters. Living together often deepens attachment, making it harder to walk away—even when the relationship is no longer healthy. What starts as convenience can evolve into entanglement, where decisions are driven more by circumstance than clarity.
From a values standpoint, boundaries exist for a reason. They are not meant to restrict love, but to guide it. True commitment is built on discipline, patience, and a shared vision for the future. When these elements are in place, the foundation becomes stronger and more enduring.
A lasting relationship is not just about staying together—it is about building something meaningful, stable, and rooted in commitment.shalom
I don't subscribe to cohabitation..
ReplyDeleteDon't do it, especially if you are Christian. When see finish enters opari. You enjoy the convenience but without the foundation of commitment the relationship is likely to crash eventually like Oge says. It appears to have worked for a few. But I think other things are holding them together that is not present in most other couples doing it.
ReplyDelete