Chronicle Of A Person Living With A Positive Status

I read on Facebook that we should always ask for our viral load results because it is our right to know the exact number. I noticed that at the clinic I use, they don’t tell us the actual figures; they just say things like “you’re okay” or “you’re doing well” without giving the exact number. So I made up my mind to ask for mine at my next visit.

On the day of my appointment, I asked the lady attending to me, and she gave me the usual response: “you’re doing well.” I insisted that I wanted to know the exact number of virus copies in my system. She told me she couldn’t disclose that and that it was against their practice. I told her that it was my health we were talking about.

Then her supervisor stepped in and started saying that some of us always think we know better than them, and that in the end, we would harm ourselves. She said they withhold certain information from patients because they know what they are doing. Her approach was very rude; she kept going on and on. However, the lady attending to me, who is actually my assigned case manager (since they assign each patient a permanent one), kept signaling to me not to mind her.

Later, the lady explained that some people get results showing “zero viral load,” and once they hear that, they stop taking their medication, thinking they are free from the virus, which is not true. It only means the virus is at such a low level that it cannot be detected by the machine. It is still present, though inactive, and stopping medication can make it become active and multiply again.

I thanked her for the explanation, but I still insisted on knowing my result. I’m not ignorant enough to stop taking my medication, but at least I should know how well the treatment is working. Eventually, she told me that my viral load is less than 20 copies.
Honestly, many people who work with HIV patients treat them poorly, as if they are doing us a favor. A lot of them have very unpleasant attitudes. I don’t like going to that clinic at all, even though I am familiar with and close to some of the staff. Some of them simply lack empathy and respect for patients.