STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
INHERITANCE BROUHAHA
My hubby and I share two kids and have been splitting bills equally since we got married and relocated to the state where he works, while my online business continues to thrive.
The problem now is that I received a few millions recently after my late dad’s inheritance was shared, and suddenly my husband became irresponsible, even though I have always faithfully done my part of the bills.
I already have plans for this money, yet he wants me to take on other responsibilities because he feels the inheritance money is free money. Honestly, I don’t know how to navigate this. It’s eating me up.
I already have plans for this money, yet he wants me to take on other responsibilities because he feels the inheritance money is free money. Honestly, I don’t know how to navigate this. It’s eating me up.
Hmmmmmm, i dont know what to say on this but i have a problem with how you are suddenly seeing everything wrong with your husband cos you received some inheritance money......You have plans for the money? fine but please dont forget your household......
Why did you even let him know about the inheritance money you received. Why didn't you tell him your own share was just 500k because you're a woman. Lover girl you opened up to him about everything's and now he's acting up. I'm sure there are his other money that you know nothing about. Please think we'll next time and don't allow him know how much your money is
ReplyDeleteI am a man but I admit this man is out of line for becoming lazy but in a marriage where the man earns more than his wife but does most of the house chores like cleaning, cooking, getting kids ready for school, laundry, does half the grocery shopping, takes the kids to their events most of the time just to ease his wife’s stress, should be still be contributing way more than his wife? She earns just less than the husband does o but he contributes way more financially in addition to doing most of the house chores.. yall ain’t ready for good men in that country sha.
Deletealot of women have issues with confidentiality.
Deletemust you tell him? must you?
Will you people saying she shouldn’t tell her husband, would you say the same if reverse was the case?
DeleteIf your spouse is a leech, don't tell him or her.
DeleteTell him you are investing the money for your children and actually do so.
ReplyDeleteI can relate with your dilemma because I experienced same recently in my marriage.
I simply made some investment even though it feels insignificant. It's a form of pettiness and you must handle it with care. My own husband started making his own investment supposedly for our family without carrying me along. While putting eyes on financial gifts that I received for my birthday. Birthday that was even a surprise by others o. It opened my eyes in a new way because this is a man who has always been selfless and we both carry family expenses equally.
My dad sent me some money to hold for him as proceeds from the property his family sold.
DeleteI told my husband zilch! Nil! Nada! Nothing!
Because it’s not my money to start with.
You guys don’t know money is a revealer, it reveals someone’s true nature
Invest that money wisely please. If you weren't splitting bills equally, I would have suggested otherwise.
ReplyDeleteWho even came up with this 50/50 thing?
This is the response I was waiting for, thank you.
DeleteYou do 50/50 in your marriage? Why ? On top childcare , being a mother and carrying a bulk of the household labor? Women who do 50/50 in marriage are Gods strongest soldiers, yo!
ReplyDeleteAlso your husband is irresponsible! Reject the idea of him trying to make you the breadwinner , he’s a leach .
And why can’t you say no to his demands?
I didn't even see your comment before typing and I have a similar opinion. This chronicle annoyed me to the core, she's married to a selfish, evil 😈, devilish man. Imagine he seeing money from her father as a free money. Money the man worked for all his life to leave inheritance for his children. The evil human wants her to waste it instead of him encouraging her to invest it to keep her Dad's legacy alive. May we not marry our enemies.
DeleteYou should talk to him about this.
ReplyDeleteLet him know your plans,he should perform his own duties, carry him along on your plans too
She’s suddenly seeing things wrong because he’s suddenly acting up
ReplyDeleteSome poeple can’t see your money and remove eye. They must finish it
He doesn’t want to bring money again till your own finishes
ReplyDeleteGo and put it in fixed deposit
Don’t do any risky business ohh
If you do business, at least set some apart in fixed deposit so you won’t join once upon a time I had millions
In all this God bless your father and your family for giving inheritance to the daughter
Make your father proud by using this money well
Don’t use it to buy love
You see why it's good to understand who you are dealing with??
ReplyDeleteSince you know who you are dealing with, how come he found out about this inheritance? Moving forward be wise, be very wise, their is nothing you can do o, cuz he won't rest till that money is finished.
How do you women marry these types? Where do you find them? How on earth would you be doing 50/50 with a man you bore children for? Children that carry his name. Did he carry the children with you 50/50? The day he requested for 50/50 is the day you should have walked out and demand child support.
ReplyDeleteYou better don't use your inheritance money for housekeeping money
50/50 is not that bad na
DeleteAnon 18:09 will you keep quiet. Does he equally cook, clean, bath the children and carry pregnancy? Stop being an enabler.
DeleteMy husband is a very responsible man, he takes care of the bills without holding back buy immediately he knows i have few changes in my account, hell borrow it till it finishes. I normally lie that my mum keeps money with me that's the only way I could save without him borrowing and not pay. But he takes care of the bill 1000 percent
ReplyDeleteAre you me? Am I you? Hmmm. It seems some men are the same
DeleteYou're right to be concerned. The inheritance from your late father is not an excuse for your husband to become less responsible financially. If you've both been sharing bills equally and that arrangement has worked, receiving an inheritance shouldn't automatically shift more responsibilities onto you. Have a calm conversation with him and make it clear that you already have plans for the money.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is a partnership, not a situation where one person's blessing becomes the other person's reason to contribute less.
I would do anything for my family and lovedones. BUT you see where a man wants to force or emotionally blackmail me financially because he feels i have more and should take full responsibilities of the home when it's not a case of financial/business downtime. sincerely that day, the man just lost me being transparent, open and free with him. Not to brag but he would lose big time. Not even capping
ReplyDeleteLORD in Jesus name i beg you, Please a man with the mentality of 50%-50%, lack of oneness, individuality in marriage, my own; your own, prayerlessness, lack of vision etc characters not in your sole purpose of marriage and family should not cross part nor come near me, let fire keep them away from me in Jesus name i pray Amen and Amen.
GOD in heaven you know my dreams and heart desires in marriage, family, finances, business is sure and confirmed SUCCESS because i am your daughter and the apple of your eyes, He who finds me obtains favour from you. i don't want and can never tolerate less abeg.
So sorry to digress abeg. Is it even Marriage when you do only this for your other half and she does the remaining. This is colleague not marriage abeg. Poster, It's your situationship and you know how you have done/managed it thus far. Thank you for this. With all due respect it is a prayer point of what i don't want.
Just carry him along with whatever plans you are about to make .
ReplyDeleteInvest wisely maka echi!!
Follow him wisely why making decisions on your plans...
Have your own little secret concerning money.
Exactly... any reasonable and rational person will behave like your husband.
DeleteThis is evidence that you married a reasonable person. If he does not change in behavior when you have not discussed with him over the inheritance then, something is perhaps wrong with him.
please do not let the inheritance money destroy your marriage, you guys have been sharing bills before now without any issue and now that additional money came you want to make issues out of it. Just be careful before you destroy your marriage, just look for a way and talk things over with your husband.
ReplyDeleteGod bless you.
DeleteEvery rational person will behave as your husband. Have you had discussion over the money? Is he a fool to be killing himself when he knows there is money somewhere that his wife has refused to share or discuss with him over?
Madam do not be selfish. The money has entered into your family, share it with your man. You have suffered together; it is time to enjoy together.
If he has huge money today, you will share it with him, so why are you playing the victim here?
You have a good husband, do not let greed destroy your home. You vow states that you will be together in' plenty' and now you are in plenty, share with your husband, do not be a wicked wife.
🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteSometimes
ReplyDeleteStella behaves as if she isn't a Nigerian or know the mentality of some Nigerian men. Not like she was born in Germany or grew up there, but yet here she is behaving like what the posters husband is doing is OK. Poster please ignore Stella's advice
You're husband is clearly trying to take advantage. Why is he putting eye inside your inheritance money? Communicate with him and let him know you have plans for the money abeg
ReplyDeleteIt is pathetic that most of our women have problems with money. The moment a woman has money, she immediately sees her husband as a third party.
ReplyDeletePlease flip this case, just imagine that it is your husband that gets huge money like that, his family comes first (children and wife), but if it is the woman, she thinks about herself and the children only.
What's wrong with sharing the money with your husband equally or investing the whole money on behalf of the family. Why can't you plan together on the money?
Why do you want him to continue to suffer or do the same thing he has been doing when there is a huge fortune for the family? If you have a problem today, won't he be the one to suffer for it, will you suffer alone?
I think men should just become selfish these days.
What are you on about
DeleteDid she say she will not share
She said he has stopped contributing
She's suddenly seeing everything wrong because of how he's acting. If they'd stuck to the original 50:50 plan regardless of her inheritance money, none of these issues would pop up.
ReplyDeleteNow you have seen the real him.. make use of that money anyhow you wish. You're lucky you got something from your dad.going forward keep your mouth shut.
ReplyDeleteWomen wey dey share bills 50/50 with their husbands, una dey try o. For what????? Hope you do share house chores and babysitting 50/50 also???? If not, e no balance o.
ReplyDeleteI wonder how man go dey shameless to the extent of sharing bills 50/50 with his wife. It is well...
Hello Poster,
ReplyDeleteSome women are selfish with money. Some men are selfish with money. The difference is that people often notice and judge financial behaviour differently depending on gender.
In many families, women are expected to contribute financially while also carrying much of the childcare, household management, and emotional labour. As a result, some women become protective of money because they see it as a source of security, independence, or protection against future uncertainty.
What upsets you is not only the power of this inheritance but also what the money has revealed. For years, the two of you had a working arrangement. So, before labelling him as becoming irresponsible, because your concern is that your husband reduced his effort once you received this money. Have you actually had the exhausting discussion on what this inheritance means for the family with him?
For all I know, his concern may be that a significant family resource has arrived and should benefit the household. Both your positions deserve to be discussed thoughtfully.
If money wasn't an issue of disagreement in your marriage before now, why are you both opening that door? Except you both are not acting fairly and honestly. Why not explain like someone who has a plan on the ground you intend to use this windfall for, and ask him to let you know whether he intends to reduce his responsibilities because of this inheritance?
Money rarely changes character overnight. More often, it exposes assumptions that were never truly discussed to their fullest. What destroys trust is not who received what. It is when one partner starts treating the other's resources as an entitlement while protecting their own.
A healthy marriage is not measured by who earns more money. It is measured by whether both partners approach it with the same standards of openness, responsibility, and fairness.
Hmmm!
ReplyDeleteNa wah oh!
Some mostly anonymous comments up there just leave my mouth hanging.
Or, could it be the said husband is a BV and commenting to support himself?
Nothing, absolutely nothing wrong with a husband suddenly abandon his own part of the bargain but wanting his wife to fully take over the responsibilities of the home they have been running on a 50/50 because she got some extra cash but the wife is the bad person her because she shows worries.
When I say there are men who would rather their wives remain at a particular level than growth, it would sound as though I am being unrealistic.
Definitely not the husband, I am blog visitor but I don’t have any user name.
ReplyDeleteMy observation is very simple, you all are judging the man without asking if the wife has had discussion with her husband over the money.
There is no way my wife will have , for example N20M today and she will keep mute over it, as if nothing has happened, and you will expect me to be acting as if everything is still normal as it used to be. No way.
We must discuss as a family. She will tell me, I have this money, I want to buy do ABC with it. Children will benefit this much, you will enjoy this and we will save this.
That’s how to go about it, otherwise, you are calling him a fool.
You can change the whole experience through your attitude. Discuss with your husband how you want to spend the money. Your husband is just being human; you could have done the same.
Recently, I told my wife that I want to sell one of our old properties, the first thing she said is ‘remember to send my own share’. That’s the reality. So imagine if the property is sold , maybe for N50M and she knows I have received the money, do you think it won’t affect her behavior in a way?
Love your contribution.
DeleteEven if you told me, I’ll ask for my share
DeleteThat’s the Nigerian way
The woman said he knows about the money and has stopped being responsible
Knowing about the money is not same as discussing how it will be useful for the family. Sometimes, I don't understand how women reason. If your husband has received some millions and he has failed to discuss with you, are we going to be having same discussion?
DeleteJust imagine he got N30M yesterday and today he is asking you to contribute the 50% you have been bringing to the table without prior discussion on the money. Will you not ask him immediately what the plan is concerning the money he got yesterday?
Call a family meting and have a discussion. Tell him what the family needs to do with the money (invest, travel, flex, buy things for your children, buy a house, or what?). Do not be selfish because if the table is turned, I am sure the narrative won't be the same.