STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
ADVICE NEEDED ON CHEATING AND BETRAYAL
I just found out my wife cheated on me with my friend. He came to confess to me because he said that things had gone bad for him in all aspects of his life and felt that i put something on my wife....He told me because he wants to be free and feels my forgiving him will help...
After his confession, i gave him the hottest slap ever and he walked away....When I got home she admitted everything. I did not shout or argue BECAUSE I WOULD HAVE DONE SOMETHING REALLY BAD. I just walked out.
Now I am stuck. I still love her, but I cannot look at her the same way. I cannot sleep. I cannot focus. I have told no one because I do not want pity or judgment or anyone to begin to question if the ids that look like me are mine.....I feel like telling someone else will kill whatever chances we may have to make up...I do not want anyone to shame her, well not yet:
I just need advice on how to move forward because this pain is becoming too heavy.
You need space and time...I advice that you go somewhere for a few months to live and see if you want to be with her again or not...clear your head and decide what you want but dont take her back if you cannot forgive what has happened.. And please cut off that friend and dont even forgive him...hisssss!

Angel Stellz said it all.. please give space before you do something wrong bro..
ReplyDeleteHave you ever cheated on her? If yes, forgive her.
ReplyDeletePray and drink coconut oil
ReplyDelete😂
DeleteMen are finally having taste of their medicine… it remain woman boldly bringing outside pregnancy & the man accepting the baby…
ReplyDeleteI love this
Be careful of what you wish upon yourself.
Delete©️ TEEJAY
Judgemental,much. How do you know this poster has ever cheated on his wife? You people just project your nonsense on everyone cos you are all trash yourselves.
DeletePOOL. Avengers Republic #amotekuns
DeleteFirst off, you are a good man. A kind one at that. Cos in the midst of this, you are still thinking of her wellbeing.
ReplyDeleteSecondly, the friends plan for telling you might not entirely be for the reasons he stated above, it might be that, he can't stand your happy home and good union.
Thirdly, is there a way to ask her to tell you EVERYTHING? LIke what led to her cheating, and of all people, your best friend. This will help with closure and to ascertain the main cause, to avoid future occurrence,either with her or new partner.
Lastly, you need some time apart to process, think through and heal.
Them, you can be in a clear state of mind to know what action to take next.
So, don't rush it. One day at a time.
Meanwhile, hope you weren't cheating or have cheated?(Doesn't justify her behaviour ooo but just want to know, so as to balance the advice)
If you've never cheated on her, you have all the right not to forgive her and take her back, but if you've cheated on her before and she knew about it or not, you still have the right to forgive her or not, it's your choice, but know deeply well that she's dangerous, and in whatever happens, cut ties completely with that your so-called friend, he's evil.
ReplyDeleteBro,
ReplyDeleteI feel your pain and I see how deep this cuts. As hard as it sounds, the best option right now 'may' be divorce. I used the word 'May' as a conditional here. If you can answer this question sincerely to yourself, there lies the answer you seek. Is she still appealing to you? Do you have this resentment towards her?. From the story, it shows it wasn't just a one off thing. It was repeatedly done. She has no respect and love towards you. You should be grateful to be alive to this point.
An adulterous woman caught is a dangerous woman. Just like I did say sometime ago, that an adulterous woman caught would rather choose to become a widow than becoming a divorcee and a single Mom. But if you choose to stay in the marriage, I wish you all the best. But know this. Once a woman starts cheating, her heart has usually checked out. There’s little to pull back.
An apology can deal with guilt, but it can’t erase the memory. Sometimes love alone isn’t enough to carry a trust that’s been destroyed. Honestly, there may be nothing left worth fighting for. I’m saying this not because it’s a woman who cheated. If it was the man, I’d give the same advice. The Bible only gives one ground for a man to put away his wife, which is on the ground of infidelity.
The truth is, a woman who truly loves you won’t cheat no matter the situation. And when a man truly loves his wife, the same applies. But we’re wired differently. For most men, it becomes an ego thing. You may forgive, but you’ll always resent her and her presence. People forgive. But forgiveness doesn’t always rebuild what broke. The real question is, will she still be appealing to you? It's better you let her go than torture her emotionally if you know you can't deal with it or heal completely from the betrayal.
©️ TEEJAY
I'm seeing people asking the man, "Did you cheat on your wife before?" Come on. Is that a justification? Are we now encouraging revenge cheating?
ReplyDeleteWe need to stop this kind of question. It’s nauseating. If anyone cheats in a marriage and you’re not comfortable with it man or woman, please file for divorce and walk away. You have that right both legally and biblically. This "have you ever cheated on her" talk only encourages and emboldens cheating. You shouldn’t become what you condemned in the first place. This is 2026 please. Let’s do better. Beside I don't ever get to see women being asked this sane question. It's always the men. Why?
©️ TEEJAY
My advice to you dear poster. Pls would don't rush into divorce, but don't rush into pretending everything is fine either. Pray, create some space if necessary, seek wise Christian counsel, and allow your wife's actions over time to show whether she is truly repentant.
ReplyDeleteMost importantly, don't seek revenge against your friend or your wife. You have already walked away once to prevent yourself from doing something terrible. Keep doing that whenever anger becomes overwhelming.
Forgive, and you will be forgiven.( Luke 6:37.)
Forgiveness is important, you can forgive without immediately restoring trust.
For some of you asking ... have you cheated on her before??
ReplyDeletePlsssssssss stop it!!!
You can forgive her if it was with it mere stranger but with your stupid best friend...
Pls DIVORCE HER!!!
Love and trust are never the same after cheating. If she showed remorse and their is indications that they have stopped seeing each other, I think you should forgive her for the sake of the unit called family. Don't allow your kids suffer the pain iof broken marriage. You can do DNA test to if you are doubting the paternity of your kids. Time heals and I believe it. Please don't go away as Stella advised. It will create more distance and separation.. Just ask God for the strength to forgive her.
ReplyDeleteWith your best friend????
ReplyDeleteBoth can conspire to kpai you. Cut them off
Cheating is bad, very bad
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry Sir
Even me that is a woman divorced my ex husband just by seeing his chats with another woman because I couldn't see him the way again not to talk of him sleeping with my friend. There are some betrayals you cant just wrap your head around
ReplyDeleteForgive her and pray for her. In whatever you do, ensure you pray for her and please and please don't stop praying for her.
ReplyDeleteThe Bible does not encourage divorce, remember?
Stay away for some times and think very well about whatever you want to do..This is so sad.
ReplyDeleteStay away for some times and think very well about whatever you want to do..This is so sad.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, it's a shame you’re going through this. Betrayal from both your wife and someone you considered a friend can be devastating. However, for now, don’t rush to decide whether to stay or leave. You’re hurt and angry, and you need time to process everything. Walking away instead of reacting violently was the right thing to do.
ReplyDeleteI understand why you don’t want to tell people, but please find one mature, trustworthy person or a counsellor you can talk to privately. You shouldn’t carry this pain alone. If you still love your wife and want to see if the marriage can be saved, that decision can come later. It will require honesty, accountability, and a willingness from both of you to rebuild the trust that was broken.
And please don’t let your friend’s guilt pressure you into forgiving him. You owe him nothing. Take care of yourself first and give yourself time to heal. Leave home for a bit to process the matter, have a clear head to decide what is best for you.
Take some time off to think things through and also cool off. When you're back, you can decide if you still want her back or not. Also watch and see how remorseful she feels. There might still be a chance for you both. I wish you well.
ReplyDeleteThis is painful. Please cut that friend of yours off. He's not a real one.
You're a good man, please follow Stella advice except the unforgiveness part.
ReplyDeleteU be real man. God gives you grace to forgive and move on.
ReplyDeleteTake it to the Lord in prayer. Enter your war room and pray. God will guide you and give you the right words to speak and place true peace in your heart.
ReplyDelete