She may have started dating him early ; so five years will seem longer than normal. Babes please just ask him if he wants to marry you or not. If he doesn't give a sensible answer , get off the ship and let it sail without you. I dated my husband for 8 years and got married at 26.

🎶 even your boo get a boo. A boo a boo🎶. My dear sister, kindly follow the last paragraph of the red pen. A man who truly loves you will not waste time doing the right thing whether he's rich or not. Because he will be afraid of losing you to another

Sometimes I think when you send in a chronicle, you should give more details so we’ll know how to advise. In this case, I don’t know how financially capable he is. Marriage can be overwhelming, you know. People who aren’t financially strong are most times afraid to commit.

Secondly, five years is too much, I must say, for any man to be dragging his feet on a marriage proposal. If he’s financially stable and still not proposing, he could have his reasons and likely, he may not see you doing life with him. I’ve said this often, sometimes women give men the reason and attitude to act this way. As a woman, there’s how you will carry yourself that a man will hurriedly beg to marry you, knowing that losing you will be his biggest mistake. Some of you lose yourself trying to keep a man. That’s the issue with some of you. You start living a married life with a man who hasn’t paid your bride price and then you’re crying that he’s not proposing. If you’re that valuable to him, one year is enough to propose and set things rolling.

As a woman, when it gets to the point of asking a man, “What are we actually doing?” it shows you both lack clarity.


©️ TEEJAY

Does this your guy currently have the financial stability and maturity to have a wife, or you the one secretly carrying the bulk of the weight in this relationship? If you were a teenager when you both started dating you may not feel how you do

Five years is not even a relationship trial period but a whole university Bachelor's degree plus NYSC. You have every right to feel stuck and tired. Just be careful because there are guys who don't break up but hope one day you get the drift after you are tired wasting your own time.

Him constantly initiating talks about how he can't live without you is a classic psychological move called emotional tethering. Omo, Guy is just feeding you just enough emotional jargon to keep you anchored to him, while withholding the ring. Men know that a lot of you women thrive on emotional validation, so he is using sweet words to keep you where he wants you.
Marriage is no longer a joking matter
after 60 months of exclusive dating If that your guy wants to marry you, he will give you clarity and quit dodging accountability.

You are saying you don't want to pressure him . You better flush that mindset off the drain and demand clarity fast.. There is nothing wrong in asking a grown man for clarity on your future after half a decade. It's common sense.
He is very comfortable with the current setup and getting all the benefits of a wife without paying the bride price. Being vague and telling you it will happen sooon while joking he is waiting for the perfect time simply means he does not have a concrete plan so he is shutting you up.

You must set a private internal deadline in your own head. How much more time are you willing to waste? 6 months? 3 months? You must decide your walk away date and keep it to yourself but before you do that make sure you sit him down when you are both sober and don't cry or nag, just thell him you love him, and you value what you both have built But thatv 'soon' is no longer a timeline you can work with. Ask him to tell you Where exactly you people are heading, he must give you a specific timeframe. If he gets defensive, maje nonsensical jokes, or refuses to give you straight answer as per his usual style of evading the question, immediately give yourself brain.

You need to stop giving any man wifely benefits, financial merging and domestic labor even access to your body while being a girlfrien. This is what I will tell my sister but if they tell you people to close leg you won't listen. The guy doesn't know why exactly he should be in a hurry to marry you. A whole five years you must have given him everything and I mean everything or haven't you? So tell me one reason why he should propose?What exactly will change for him after marriage? Nothing nah He already has it all. His joking about "soon" is his own way of maintaining the comfort of his current life without taking on the heavy responsibility of a husbandeven mostmen who marry after long courtship just do it to fulfill all righteousness for most there is no excitement beneath it all.

If he truly cannot live without you, the thought of losing you will force him to go and buy that ring immediately. But If he lets you walk away,he was never going to marry you anyway, and you just saved yourself from Year 6 of a relationship with no headway.

Even you , you are not staying because you are terrified of losing your 5years investment, you can't leave for another woman to come and enjoy your sweat.
Isn't that what those who studied economics call Sunk Cost Fallacy? Where youkeep investing in a failing project simply because you have already invested too much time and money into it.
You better withdraw your wifely contributions to his life and stop building his empire and start building your own exit strategy

Words are meaningless where action does not follow. Men are different from women in many ways and one of the key ways in which men are different is that they know exactly who they wish to spend the rest of their lives with from the very start. It does not take a serious man five years to marry. Are you sure that he is speaking truth? Have you seen physical evidence of his words?

Stand back and look into your relationship as though you are an outsider looking in. Really view it from all angles. Are you providing wifely duties while you are just a partner? If you are having seckual relations with him please stop today. Do not provide wifely duties when you are not one. Are you washing clothes, cooking food, living together, cleaning house? Sometimes a woman goes into an auditioning phase hoping to get picked for the role, if you have been auditioning for five years and still have not gotten the role then stop auditioning! Go back home and live with your parents if you are living together; yes, parents can be annoying, nosy, invading privacy but there is no place like home, that is if it's a good home. You will not have to audition, put on, wonder when the day is coming, they will take care of you and may even be thrilled to have you home again.

If you are receiving interest from other suitors do not toss them aside, be courteous though reserved. Let your man come forth and let you know what time it is. Even an engagement he could have done within that five years. A lazy love is a love you will have to carry the weight of for the rest of your days. A lazy love can be the yoke that break the bearer's back. So understand yourself and question if you wish to be with a man who may be lazy in marriage. I'm speaking about emotionally lazy, maybe in other ways too.

I'm not telling you to end your relationship, other BVs may tell you that and you should consider their insights. What I'm telling you is to change things up and do an audit of the relationship. To get to the understanding if your man's words are true or if he is simply spouting bullshyt to string you along until he gets who he really wants. You may wish to also find out if he is involved with someone else at the same time. Find out where you stand and if you are labouring for love, stop the labouring and stop the premarital seck, no bedding before the wedding. Make sure your relationship balance sheet balancing!

You don't want to pressure him after 5 years?!! Continue being a place holder.
You better sit him down and give him a deadline to marry you or you move on. And let him not tell you he has no money. 5 years is a lot to save. Moreover it must not be a big wedding.

Break up and see he's reaction.lf he comes begging,tell him marriage or nothing..

Five years is long enough to ask for clarity. Wanting marriage and a clear timeline is not pressuring him. Have an honest conversation and ask him directly if he truly sees marriage with you and when. “Soon” is not a plan. Pay attention to his actions, not just his words.

If marriage is important to you, don’t keep waiting indefinitely for someone who cannot give you a clear answer.

Pls go and read the block Act like a lady. Think like a man. There’ is your prototype there. Then take the advice of the writer

Pls just know u are the side chicken, u better wise up and take a walk. He is stringing u pls.

Men know who and what they want. They don't waste time to do the needful when they are will the one they would love to spend the rest of their life with. Any man not pushing for marriage after 1yr doesn't love you, you are just kept until he finds who he really wants. We can understand why you stayed up to five years only if he's still a student who is still finding it difficul to sponsor himself through secondary school to university

Madame, don't be deceived by the sweet words he uses claiming that he cannot live without you. Action speaks louder than words. We take the action not the words

This thing doesn't want to allow me write my name...


Slim Shaddy

Has he ever mentioned why he is waiting? Like, is it a money thing, career, or is he just not ready for commitment yet? five years no be beans o! especially when you are ready for the next step and he keeps giving you vague "soon" answers. The fact that he always talks about not being able to live without you shows he values you. And if everyone already sees you guys as married, it means the connection is there.

Love sweet o, but love alone no dey bring ring. that "soon" template ba? E dey exhaust person, His actions need to match those big big words and you have every right to want clarity after five years. You have every right to know where your life is heading. Since you don't want to pressure him but you need answers, you have to sit him down for a real, serious talk. No joking this time. And while at it, watch his reaction, not just his words...If he starts getting angry, defensive, or tries to change the subject again, my dear, that is a yellow flag. A man who truly wants to marry you will not see a serious conversation about your future as pressure. And If he tries to joke about it again, don't laugh. Make you tight your face. No jokes, no fighting, no crying, no pressure, just clarity. You need to make it about your feelings, not an ultimatum. Make una reason this thing together well o, because sometimes guys use that "soon" to buy time without actually planning anything. Some sef don dey too comfortable because everything already dey sweet for dem, so they feel there is no need to rush. Na why you go need let am know say your own clock dey tick and you need a concrete plan, not just promises.