STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MOTHER IN LAW BROUHAHA
I am calm and respectful to my mother‑in‑law, but she is always throwing shade and making comments about how I came to eat her son’s money and how I am controlling him.
I finally asked her a simple question: “If I am controlling your son, why couldn’t you control your husband , my father‑in‑law and stop him from cheating on you with girls my age?”
And boom the whole family said I was disrespectful, and they are now going around telling people that I am a bad wife.
I said yes, I am a bad person with my full chest...
This issue has caused a strain between my husband and I, but I swallowed a lot and avoided that woman for so long before we got to this point. Maybe I went too far, but no one seems to understand my pain, and it is frustrating.
I needed to use her weak point to hit her strong place something she thought I didn’t know. She is always displaying a perfect couple outside, but inside, it is war between her and her husband.
Let her face her marriage and leave mine alone.
Hmmmmmm I cannot say whether you were wrong or right by saying what you said but the most important thing is that you stood up for yourself...…
If you didn't draw that line, you would never have known peace...…
Don't worry for the sake of peace, just apologise and let everyone be happy but your mother in law will not try you again..
Just say mama sorry ooh, you are a woman like me, I felt you would understand, please I am sorry for hurting you.....
You need to understand that your husband would be under pressure as well...make it easy for him please.....
You need to be smart, you nack with one hand and pet with the other....
Apologise to her please but do it again if she doesn't stop shading you...lol
The statement was out of line to be honest, but I understand your frustration. Cultural expectations will always come up even when the elder is wrong. People can easily write her bad behaviour off as being due to old age, stress, or even dementia. She will always have the upper hand, especially among her children and grandchildren, you will be viewed as the villain. The Bible tell parents not to provoke their children to anger. She obviously does not care for you but she had no reason being verbally abusive to you. She could have avoided you and limit her interaction instead of choosing abuse.
ReplyDeleteWhen someone does not like you and you know it, the best approach is avoidance, let everyone stay in their corner. This means limiting contact and interaction. Now, things have escalated and your husband is in tight spot. You will have to work through the strain and if you value your marriage and want peace you may even have to apologize simply for the sake of peace. However, going forward you can avoid this woman, even if she is staying in your home or you must visit hers there are ways to avoid people that doesn't even appear rude. If you want to prove your point then always make sure you have a recording device on play when she comes around you, then folks will hear the abuse, but that may only help in a limited way, many will try to find an excuse on her behalf, stress, abuse, bad health, whatever. The expectation will always be that you as the younger person be forgiving and understanding.
What she said and what you said do they seem same to you
ReplyDeleteYou insulted your husbands father and mother because you know your husband is weak. Where did you hear the stories. Hope not from same husband