Kemi Iyanta - Widow Of Former Deputy Governor Recounts Her Ordeal With Her In-Laws

Kemi Iyanta- widow of former deputy governor of Ondo state

What some people go through with-their in laws can only be left for God to judge...people have stories that if they tell,you just might find it hard to believe.....This brings me to the question...when the chips are down,why do in-laws show their true colours?
has anyone suffered great injustice in the hands of in-laws?
Surely,it cannot be worse than Kemi Iyanta's story?
Please read.......

Your husband passed on when he was climbing the political ladder, did you have a kind of premonition?

 No, I didn’t, because we were planning to do some things. I knew we would all leave this earth, but I did not know that it was going to be that soon and sudden. It came as a shock.  We didn’t know death would come like that, no. We had great plans for the people, for our lives but death came suddenly and took him away.

How did he die?

He died in an accident. We were travelling together in the same car when it happened. He was an area pastor of the Redeemed Christian Church of God. And as an area pastor, you are required to do monthly returns. So that was what he wanted to go and do when the accident occurred. He was the one driving. When I noticed the vehicle was veering off the road, I asked him why. But before I knew what was happening, the car ran into a ditch. All I could remember was our cry of ‘Jesus.’ I went into a coma. Some good Samaritans told his protocol officer who was calling to find out where we were that we just had an accident. We were taken to the General Hospital then in Akure. I did not know what happened until the following morning.

What did you do when you woke up?

When I woke, I asked after my husband. They said he was fine and that he had been transferred to Ife. I was just asking questions. I was discharged and brought to my sister’s house at Oba-Ile, because they did not want me to know what happened.

Who broke the news to you eventually?

Our provincial pastor broke the news. It was as if I was going crazy. I could not understand what he was saying. It was such a traumatic experience.

It is almost nine years now, how have you coped without him?

Life has been so harsh. I could not even imagine it. As if his death wasn’t enough trauma, my in-laws brought their own trouble.

How?

They asked for the house keys just as soon as they learnt he was dead.  Keys? My God! My father-in-law said they would collect the house keys from me. I could not understand what was happening. The keys were in the car, I did not have any idea of what they were going to do with them. My father-in-law threatened there would be trouble if I didn’t release the house keys. When I said I would bring them while coming home, his family said there was no need for me to come home because my husband was dead. I had to call my husband’s immediate younger brother who said I should not worry, that I should come home.

Did you eventually go home?

Yes. When I got home, my in-laws manned the gate. They had changed all the locks. They said I could not enter the house because I killed my husband. They all rose against me. I asked how they knew I killed my husband. They wanted to stone me. It was strange. The church intervened, but the family members insisted that I killed him. I did not take out a pin out of our house. And that was the house I struggled with my husband to build when we were working for government. They didn’t even allow me to take my certificate and my international passport. They were locked up in that house.  The family head came and told me that my father-in-law said he would only allow me into the house if I came to meet him inside the room privately.

Really?

Yes. He told me my father-in-law said he would like to ask me a few questions inside the room. I found that very strange because I didn’t know what he wanted to ask me inside the room.

Was that demand linked with any cultural practice?

No.  The normal custom is for a general meeting to be called and the widow would be brought to the assembly and asked questions being the person with him when he died. Since my father-in-law said the meeting would be between just the two of us in the room, I was advised to return to the hospital, because I came from the hospital.

But were you allowed to attend the burial ceremony?

Of course, I attended but at the burial, the family were so hostile. They wanted to lynch me. But thank God, the state government under the late Olusegun Agagu, arranged security for me. If not, they would have killed me, because they thought my husband had money somewhere and I was the only one who had access to it. They believed that if I got into the house, I would take all the money and the documents. But I said if they wanted to take everything, they should go ahead and allow me to mourn my husband. But I was molested, humiliated and dehumanised. It was traumatic. They said I was the one driving the vehicle and that I intentionally faced an oncoming vehicle to kill my husband, whereas it was a lone accident. Others said I struggled to take over the steering from him because I was quarrelling with him. They spoke as if they were there with us. They did not stop there. They were going about looking for where my husband kept money. Because they had driven me out, they could not talk to me again. They went to the Government House to change records that I was not the wife, but fortunately they met someone who said it would not happen. Agagu told them that he had gone through all the documents in the Government House and the only name he saw there was Oluwakemi. Even when they were told that, they would not listen because they had made up their mind to torture and dehumanise me.

What role has the present Mimiko’s government played in your plight?

That is sad and quite unfortunate. Governor Mimiko was a commissioner when my husband was deputy governor. When he died, Mimiko was the Secretary to the State Government. He was even the Chairman of my husband’s burial committee. He promised to do many things for me but he has not fulfilled his promises. I voted for him, I did not vote for Agagu because Agagu and my husband were in different political parties. I voted for him  but since he became governor, he has not given me a cup of water to drink. I went to him three times but he kept on promising me. He was the first person who received the news of the death of my husband. He went to the scene of the accident as the SSG. I used to call him on the phone until he stopped picking my calls. He had a good relationship with my husband, even with me.

What are you doing at the moment?

Since my husband’s death, I have been in politics. Because of what I went through, I have made up my mind to fight the cause of women. Just to keep myself busy, I have organised a women group, not women who are presently in full time politics, but those with the potential to become great women leaders. I go to people with the name my husband has left behind for me. I have not soiled that name. These women are coming together as a group and we meet twice in a month. It is called the National Association for Women Empowerment in Politics. We are interested in fighting the cause of the widows. If I, the wife of the former deputy governor, could go through dehumanisation from in-laws, you can imagine what will happen to the rural women who do not know anybody and do not know their rights. I want to appeal to women who are occupying high positions; they should not just sit down there and bear titles. They should attend to this issue. They should sponsor bills to alleviate the sufferings of women.

What is your relationship with your in-laws now?

I have put my nasty experience behind me. As a child of God, I had to put this behind me. I found it difficult to forgive and forget initially but now, I have nothing against them in my heart...culled from Punch