This is a tough one....what do you do when the passion is extinguished in your relationship with your spouse?
A relationship that used to be hot simmers down to barely nothing and even when sex happens,it can be equated to someone reading a novel whilst the other checks the time.
Passion-less sex.
Is this 'normal' after being with someone for a while? is this a 'normal' phase for every relationship? have you been through this storm before? how did you light back your candle?
Are you going through this storm now?....There is probably hope for you,even if someone else is giving your spouse booty!
''Hi Stella, hope this meets you well! ….
I'm a regular reader if your blog and would like to share my situation so as to get other readers candid opinions as the matter is rather worrisome to me now.
Please do not disclose my identity.My husband has become really boring all of sudden and we hardly have sex nowadays, even when we do once in a blue moon,there is no foreplay and he goes straight to the point and that's it.
It wasn't this way when we were still dating, I've expressed my concerns to him over this matter on several occasions yet I haven't noticed any change .
Please this is driving me crazy as we're both still young, the marriage is only 5 years now with 2 kids. Please i await opinions from other readers
thanks''.
*blog visitors over to una....we gotta help one of ours with candid advice.
Maybe he has stuffs bothering him. It doesn't necessarily mean he has a side chick. Just continue to communicate. He may not want to open up, but I believe with constant communication, patience and perseverance, he will..
ReplyDeleteM-amie, one love, sweetie.
Oluyomi Odukoya
Oluyomi, you have started now o. After you will say it's M-amie that was hitting on you and you don't do women. Amoiruyin.com
DeleteBLOG ANALYSER: good one @ Oluyomi. Most importantly, commit ur marriage in the hands of God.
Deletecontinue to communicate (nag)! oluyomi u don marry? if no, pls face your meat.
Deleteposter, plan a trip, get naughty. send pictures, videos and anything interesting. take it from there. his reaction will point at things. i hope your member no dey smell? wash it well and also look very sexy all the time. face done right, nice outfits with peeking suggestions here and there. keep it clean and classy. I get tired but my man knows how to bring the heat. na only u "know" your husband.
@ poster, I'm also experiencing same. My hubby taught me all d teachables about sex frm when we started dating till after d birth of our 1st child. He couldn't go 2days without sex. When I got preg 4 d 2nd baby evryting changed. I tot it was cos I was preg. 4whr. We can go 1wk-1month without sex and its driving me crazy cos he really made me like sex. Dis has gone on 4 2yrs now and am expecting d 3rd baby. Vry lil foreplay and he'll start jacking off. Lasts 2-5mins. So so frustrating. Those with experience help ur sisters oooo!!!!
DeleteJulit, so in your dictionary, nag and communicate are synonymous? I know your type.
DeleteOluyomi Odukoya
Poster sometimes it is not another woman causing the trouble, but underlying medical issues.
DeleteDoes your husband have diabetes, high blood pressure or high cholesterol? Cos some medication affects libido. Some men find it difficult voicing such problems to anyone becos for the ego.
Encourage hubby to see a doctor for help. All the best
you don't know shit oluyomi. you are very dull.
DeleteGive him space if you can travel or get really busy, give each other space,absence makes the heart fonder,guys just get tired easily cos they see too many girls,and above all be prayerful,look and smell sweet always, be neat,dress sex sometimes, let him be wowed by ur looks
ReplyDeleteIn one way you are right but it dosnt work for evryone,in other ways for some men out of sight makes them do silly things they need some1 close to them.bfor they can get serious wen the person is far issues starts cominig up and the passion starts fading out.
DeleteIf u ladies don't master d art if indifference this will be tale
DeleteI ve been married for 21yrs now and my hubby still finds me exciting
Stop trying to figure ur husband out let him do d figuring
Don't be too eager to please cos he will take u for granted
Channel ur energy and interest I to other things biko in fact ignore him I bet u he will look for u.
Peradventure, he is cheating on u which I doubt pls allow him his heart be broken and then he will cherish what he had
I think ur hubby wants to control u,don't let him cos if u give him d opportunity u are done for.
ezewanyi, no famzing oo, I just like u!! your comments every time (ok, I take that back, some times, lol!!) are just matured and realistic..I gast to enroll for your school..
DeletePoster, he might just have some things on his mind and he needs to sort em out.. Give him space but don't be too far away.. Have a complete makeover and go out more often with the kids (always invite him to come along)..He'll feel left out after a while and he'll probably notice he's been neglecting you..
Kai this woman! I wish i knew you in real life. you really are 'worldly wise'
Delete@ezenwanyi you advice people on relationship when you are a cheating wife your hubby find you exciting & still cheat on you while you cheat on him, Joker. You do not even act like someone married for 5years talk less of 21years u lie too much no serious person should take your advice. Your ego is too much for a ladylike just wondering d trader that keep u as wife. Noise maker.
Delete@ezewanyi,I respect ur opinion but u should realise dat no 2 marriages are exactly d same,precedent is nothing but a poor guide...human beings react differently to d same situation...wat works for u may not work for another. Cheers.... Hi Aramide!
Delete@ezewanyi,I respect ur opinion but u should realise dat no 2 marriages are exactly d same,precedent is nothing but a poor guide...human beings react differently to d same situation...wat works for u may not work for another. Cheers.... Hi Aramide!
DeletePeter,u must be in serious pain
DeleteBTW,my hubby is an international business man
My ego is too much cos I refuse to be any man's door mat and mind u women are becoming very Wise
My advice is optional no be force and God will not allow any man to frustrate me cos of marriage cos I will put d heat on u
What is good for d goose is also good for d gander abi life get duplicate msewwwww
Keep fucking u will be caught soon and taken out of your mansion if that exit because i know it does not na mouth, we hear it here on SDK soon. Ur advise is good for your type, last time i heard you say u fuck for diamond not 200k another post i heard you say your husband is billionaire and got rolls royce with plenty cars spread all over your mansion, lies. You seem like a HOUSEWIFE boosting is in your blood. Just wondering if you apply same advise into your marriage i am sure you won't cheat on your husband or him fucking other girls as per relationship expert.
DeleteEzenwanyi idi too much! Nne rapu okwu cos u don finish every thing wey dey important. I take ur advice 100%•
Delete@peter,anon 6;44 has calmed me down.
DeletePeter go and die!!! But do me a favour don't die in my front I ve better things to do with money than to contribute to or burial levy
Keep using ur strength to unravel ezewanyi lazy blokos while money enters my acct per second
I am made even if I remove Mrs from my name u wanna know y ?I be cash madam
Suffer head anuofia
My hubby a titled chief made his first million at 15 u are here wasting away trying to understand ezewanyi and her sex life
I pity ur wife that is if u are married hediot blokos
I repeat, Ezewanyi is a MAN!!! ✔✔✔
DeleteEzenwanyi is a woman go to WC and ask
DeleteHi dear,i knw sm ppl will jump to d conclusion dat he's seeing smone else.bt it doesn't really hv to be abt cheating.u said u hv two kids,i knw its a handful cos I jst had one n its taking its toil smhw(def worth it),d sleepless nights n dividing ur attention btw 2 "babies"..Do u still gv him d TLC u used to gv him before d kids started coming?Val is looming close.Here is my two cents:
ReplyDeleteIf u hv sm money on u,book a hotel close to home,stock up d fridge with wine n stuff,let smone see to ur babies(if u dnt hv anyone,change d plans a lil to suit u).On dat friday,get him to dat hotel anyhow u can...let him come into d room smhow thru d help of d hotel staff or a decoy!!LOL,u knw d rest na...while at it tho.bring out an hour or so to hv some talk with him..dats after d drinks n d love making.he will tell u if anythn else apart frm what I sd earlier is bothering him...Above all my dear,be a praying wife!things r definitely happening arnd us ooh.Devil is never happy!Goodluck n gv us feedback ooh.LOL
Storrry! If the man has lost interest in you, it's cry you will use to leave that hotel. Something is definitely distracting him, most likely, another woman. These things happen so rampant these days, you will be amazed.
DeleteI agree with Iphie. It's not only a man's responsibility to bring in the fun. U can do ur bit too!! Be sexy, do all sorts of crazy things to him that u know he likes and see how it goes. U need to up ur seduction game oh! Or maybe ,he has fallen out of love with u. Continue communicating , don't relent. God is ur strength
DeleteThey chase women cos their pocket is bulky
DeleteWhen my sis hubby was chasing skirts ,she came to me for advice I told her to always ask her hubby for money,firstly we inflated d school fees with d help of d proprietress whose hubby also left for a younger lover,she is always reparing one thing or another even d money for soup she used to manage is no longer enough and a lot of things that spa e won't allow anyway d bottom line is that if u see this man now d amount of grey hair on his head will make Santa envy
His priority is to look for money his family and build his own house according to him man is not getting any younger again
Y should a man lose interest in u?
DeleteIt does not happen biko
Women stop demystifying urselves pls
Swing ur waists, try new seductive pheromones, reinvent urselves at times I see some women d way they pursue their husbands and I feel terribly sorry for them
He is pursing a woman like u outside,u are pursing him who then is pursuing u nobody.pls be guided
If u see me eh hmm d first thing u think of is sex
Men don't allow me rest cos I exude sex which is very powerful and I use it very well
I am d type of woman men will gladly leave their wives for that is y I ve very few frds cos they are afraid I might fuck their hubby
@Ezewanyi, u r totally saying the truth!!! I agree with u biko! Master d act of seduction from ezewanyi and u will come out brand new!!!
DeleteEzenwanyi I always dey search for ur comments on issues like this,always on point and I dey learn more from it,me d cheating sef dey do me some how cos I will b thinking how much will dey give me sef? And I normally look down on d men outside,cos I know if am peting him d way he want I wll get what I want,but am stubborn too oh,so I make sure I always look my best,that makes him jealous nd he is always afraid some one might deceived me
DeleteEzewanyi.....you are just something else.... Lol ...but trust me, I Belong to your school of thoughts in this regard..
DeleteEzewanyi.....you
Deleteare just something else lol.but i belong to your school of thoughts in this regard .
@ezewanyi 1000000 likes
Deleteezenwanyi on behalf of island wives i say gbam..lol
DeleteEzewanyi of life!
DeleteU are very practical with ur comments,the things u say are the kind of things other women wish they could do but are afraid of being judged 'wicked'!
@poster, I think ur hubby has fallen out of luv with u,some pple are like that,they fall in and out of love and there is not much u can do now to impress him than to wait and pray for d affair to go soar!
I know this will hurt you madam but i must say it all the same. Your husband is cheating take it or leave it, so what do you do? if you still have doubt set a trap and catch him red handed or he will deny ( they all do ) with this done, ask yourself if you still love him and want to make it work, remember your children are still young so divorce is out of it. Start taking good care of yourself again, you may have let yourself go, start by doing some sport, take care of your hair, your skin, take your bath before he come's back from work and spray some perfume , some women are just too dirty, after marriage they let go! yes i know you are busy with the children but smelling onion, garlic and the rest is a turn off. Dress sexy! Madam temptation too much for outside oh!
ReplyDeleteYours is the ' foolishest ' advice one can ever give on the Internet! She should set trap and catch her HUSBAND? And then what? It's very clear you are not married.. cos if you were, you definitely would not be thinking like a toddler! ..and that he is cheating?? When did you turn prophet(ess).. mtchewww.. 'start taking care.'. Where did she mention she was a dirty smelly mama bomboi? some idiots and their comments sha!
DeleteExactly Moi,Poster,he is cheating....he dosent find you attractive again...step up your game ma'am...single girls out there are not smilling ooo....sit him down and talk it over
Deletemoi shut your mouth ASAP......are you mature at all? your comment is so annoying and i could give you a cyber slap if i can.......there could be a thousand and one things bothering him so u need to let him know how his actions are bothering you......its sad that women are so myopic and have refused to allow men take responsibilities for their actions......how dare you think anytime a man cheats then its the woman's fault......some men cheat regardless so its not all about what the woman does.........when things like this happen you do a self check to be sure you are doing your part, then pray and ask God to reveal the cause.....if your hubby doesnt treat you right during the day and wants sex at night then refuse and let him know he cannot treat you like a prostitute......i have been married 9 years and sometimes you have to let your spouse know you cannot be taken for granted.....some men wake up at this point......if at the end of the day it turns out he is actually cheating that's another matter....if you have your facts confront him with it and let him know you will not tolerate it...do not fight and raise the roof....act mature so he knows he is the one who has messed and has behaved irresponsible.....lastly truly check ur self and make amends where necessary
Deletelinda you are truly stupid walahi...has it not occurred to your immature mind that all relationships go through a phase? it could be anything going on and only communication can help u find out....it could also be him cheating but in ur small mind so any man who cheats its the woman's fault abi?.....so who told your stupid mind that men don't fall short too? men cheat at every opportunity cos society and stupid fools like you always blame the woman for their randy ways......so how come women don't jump into affairs even when they don't find their men attractive again or misbehaving...stop that myopic way of reasoning, men should equally be accountable for making their marriages work...
DeleteAnon11:22am...You are a big FOOL for callin me stupid...We can't have same opinion on this issue....state your own and fuck away...Poster dosent stay with hubby....he is pratically CHEATING....kill your self...Idiot
DeleteHahahahahahaha @ fuck away. Lindaaaaa!
DeleteOver to the married ones.... because even if we (singles) have something to say. it's easier said than done. *grabs popcorn *
ReplyDeleteAbi,afterall na those wey get experience go fit share,nothing beats EXPERIENCE! Mbok,shift small,pass the popcorn while I await comments too,hope ice cream dey ya fridge o...lol
DeleteLol @Anon 9:59 na true you talk oh,but poster great intimacy in marriages don't come as a result of sex alone,ofcourse they will b the rough edges in marriages but don't you think 5years is too early for him to be bored? i think there are many things you not doing.
DeleteDo you watch his kind of movies with him? Do you make sure you give him a warm bath after a long day?don't mean bathing with him but prepare everything and make it so warm (indirectly you are sending a message to his sixth sense),gist with him in tears and in joy,thereby you can share what you going through and he can his with you, some men bring jobs,complains and the loopholes in business back home so they are always tired and angy inside,how do you talk him out of that anger or stress?intimacy is built by healing the constant pain his going through, some men hate to share and talk but rather solve their problems personally, so you have to be patient and pray every night so he can also hear your prayer points(sounds tricky but it works).
Everything neglect or attitude doesn't mean we cheat, we have feelings too and we go through problems as well, you married your husband study him like your health and deal with him, God bless your home.
My marriage has never been boring.
DeleteOur candle still burns with love n passion..
There has never been any storm.
Just cos in wonderfully made n I put God first in everything I do.
I love my man.
I can sing his praises on n on cos I worship him.
Yes I do !
Hw insensitive? Ur fellow married woman has an issue n ur solution is to sing ur hubby's praise? Why is it we never learn? Madam,u dnt knw what goes on completely in anoda's mind.even christ regretted creating man......does this ring a bell?"The heart is mean and desparately wicked,who can tell the heart of man".........be wise
Deleteam happy for you, may the sparkle never leave your marriage
DeleteI'd only reply anonymous when it relates to my made in heaven marriage.
DeleteSweet,even if uve never bn loved and ur life has bn all sorrowful it doesn't mean u shld go about throwing tantrums at blessed souls like Mamie.
Tap d blessing instead of hating.
Mamie has a perfect home she doesn't joke with.
Not all marriages are as stormy as urs Mrs chinyere Queen.
Rejoice with me n deal with it!
M-ami, Keep trying to console yourself that you have it good. I feel sorry for your ignorance because there is no such thing as perfect in life. You hubby must be a great player to have you so fooled. MUX2
Delete@m'amie na your type dey call her husband mistress 'our girlfriend'. Suffering and smiling
DeleteMamie,hmmmm.
DeleteBelieve me I am happy ur marriage is sweet,but my dear becareful how u talk abt it !the world is so evil,and all kinds of pple and spirits' read blogs before things will suddenly turn upside down around u(God forbid).they say a bad and jealous mind is worse than witchcraft!even God,it was when he bragged too much abt Job dat d devil went for Job's jogulars!so watch it
Queen Bee plx shut the fuck up. Spirits indeed. God, some Nigerians are so daft and brain washed!!!!!!
DeleteIts mostly like that sometimes my sister but you have to endure bcox seeking satisfaction elsewhere only leads to driving ur marriage to d rocks. But the upheaval task here is for you to re awake his passion and sex appeal by appearing sexy in his presence, its not abt talking but abt living it up. Most women often stop taking care of themselves when they might have given birth citing a useless and lazy excuse that since they've given birth who else are they looking good for? They forgot That when u appear dirty and haggard automatically ur husband looses his sex drive in u. For a change, dress provocatively in his presence, buy sexy wears like lingeries, G string or whatever you ladies see as a sexy undies. In ur bedroom, do a strip dance, try and appear sexual as always, on an outing, dress to kill but not indecent oooooo! Always appear neat and kept both in ur house and outside, try dis and see it work like miracle and i pray God to bless u and ur family.
ReplyDeleteI don tire to dey give advice joor after all d advice wey person don give still no results no Thanksgiving.
ReplyDeleteMe too....buh. Ezeanyi is right...
Deletemarried couples over to you peeps.
ReplyDeleteMarriage nd itz troubles..
ReplyDeleteNaso e be?
Over to d married 1s, me dnt knw jack
Thanks for the advices so far, i am the poster @anon 9:51AM funny thing is we dont even live together, we used to before his office posted him out of town but he visits every 2 weeks and i go over too when the kids are on holiday. Complicated isn't it! #Sadface
ReplyDelete@ poster do you work? If yes try and seek for a transfer to his place of residence. Because from your statement now, its clear your husband is cheating on you. And again you have to make a though dcision either to make your marriage work or not. But you have a lot of sacrifices to make. His home coming every 2weeks can't solve this problmes you are facing right now. Cos you have to think of really good ways to spice up your marriage back. One babe is helping you keep your huby wark over there. Good luck to you
DeleteHe's getting used to not bn with u oh!! U need to be close to him to save ur marriage and know what's up with him!! It might b another woman, it might not b too. U need that closeness dear and move back with him sharp sharp oh wherever he is cos girls r not smiling!!
DeleteYou should have mentioned this vital part. Your husband has met someone else. Don't fret, just meet someone else too.
DeleteThere lies the problem, I think. Did this problem start b4 his transfer or after? I have never been in support of long-distance marriages, but I know that sometimes it can't be avoided. However it shouldn't be allowed to go on for to long. Can he work his transfer back to where u are, or can u move to be with him?
DeleteThey say absence makes the heart grow fonder, but in my opinion it is sometimes the death-knell for a relationship. Wish u all the best.
Haaaaaaaaaaa! you don't live together? #informationoflife why u no talk since. my dear, do u know hard work? na e you go do so o.
DeleteThis happened to me too oh when I was in UK and my husband was in Abuja! My dear, I had to abandon my job in UK to come save my marriage oh and my husband and I have been a lot happier since. He admitted to me that the temptation then was too much and he was frustrated that it seemed like he was still a bachelor when he was married. Move closer to ur husband!
DeleteHe shld notice a change when he comes back d next tym. Sumtin, d whole bedroom preparation, his fave food, wine, lingerie etc sum1 has mentioned them. Take time do a lil make over. Think back when u guys were dating n bring sumtin back. If u can hv d house all 2 urselves without d kids. After everything pour out ur heart 2 him. God being ur helper a change will come. Hopefully.
Deletewhat were the things u were doing that u don't do anymore? Sometimes you need to put yourself on check. Don't blame your husband always, marriage can be boring at times, that's y u need spice it up a Lil bit. Dress hot, more TLC, spoil your man (gifts, dinners) n be very respectful. If all these don't work, give him space (not attitude) some men need space at times, in all draw his heart back with prayers. It works.
ReplyDeleteBad adviser!
DeleteMen love stubborn and hard to please women jare
However u must play ur part
@ezewanyi, u ve bought my heart now o... I love u#nohomo. Pls... Take me as ur student cos I need this ur lectures on " how to handle me".
Delete@Ezewanyi, you are so right on this. Men love hard to please and stubborn women. But the trick is to know when to turn off the steam. Its all a game. Play with his mind. Don't always be available.
Delete@ Poster: Do not listen to people who conclude that he is cheating without knowing either you or him. Do not listen! I dunno if it is normal for a relationship to fizzle out like this, but I know for sure that it happens to me a lot. There have been more than a few times when I n my longterm bf get cold just like your relationship sounds. And it has nothing to do with cheating cos I'm always the one growing apart nd I am not cheating. In fact, I hardly hv the patience to respond to other guys' chat talk less of picking calls. Point is, don't kill urself that he's cheating. Just try n do little things to spice up ur relationship, keep communicating n pray. Wish you the best
ReplyDeleteMy dear, u have been with ny husband for 14years married for 8years by Gods Grace, we have 2 very active boys and u tell you it takes a toll on us but I realize that these boys will definitely grow up have their own relationships abd leave us, so I made up my mind to make my husband my priority. First I make sure my boys are in bed by 7.30pm. He gets home at 6pm spends sometime with them and they go to bed, that leaves us with a couple of hours before we get tired to just hang out. Also I consciously make it a point of duty to send him a text every day during lunch time, if he replies fine if he doesn't I don't sweat it. I also try to read up on whatever he is passionate about at the moment so that we can have something to talk about apart from the boys and and I am a whore in the bedroom. He married me a virgin but thanks to the internet I invent so many things for us to do in the bedroom. Last night I told him we will not have penetrating sex but we must make each other reach orgasm, he ended up begging for it because the foreplay was out of this world. What an I saying marriage is hard work, harder than any other work you get paid for. I have no help with the kids but I make sure I try my best to spice things up for me and for him. Above all pray, I was getting bored the first year of our marriage but I prayed and God showed me how to work to keep my marriage
ReplyDeleteMrs E
For ur mind u sabi fuck abi,
DeleteLearner like u
Bla bla bla
Yimu
For ur mind u sabi fuck abi,
DeleteLearner like u
Bla bla bla
Yimu
@mrs E,chop knuckle(make I no tell anoda man's wife to chop kiss)...I love ur comment
DeleteEzenwanyi shut up adviser Nowamagbe yimu in 3d
DeleteEzenwanyi shut up adviser Nowamagbe yimu in 3d
DeleteDaisy shut down
DeleteMugu like u
AFO anu
Lol @ adviser nowamagbe. Ezenwayi please take several seats and shut up please. You are just paranoid. @ anonymous,nice comment.
Delete@MZ Daisy don't mind her she is so BUSH and RAZZ.
DeleteI love your comment so I'm going to the internet......lol...but you are so right.
DeleteI don't want to advise the poster cz I haven't been married for long and I don't have kids yet(well, very soon sha)...so, I won't know how you feel but keep praying sha....
ezenwanyi can u please start ur own blog chai u make me laugh ehn?
DeleteRazz oooooooooo
DeleteBush oooooooooo
Peter u are under my capacity akpa amu mmuo
Anon onye house girl smell off
Peter onye poverty
DeleteHow far?
Ezewanyi is not in ur league inugo
Mz daisy and anony go fuck urselves ndi ala
Ezewanyi udu bunch
Nwanyi na ta cash
Good note
Exits
Mrs E,God bless your home,really do love your comment.
DeleteUna do! Ezeanyi u be real clown. My kind of woman, but I hope say no be mouth.
DeleteEzewanyi, you crack me up big time. I just love you mehnnn...EEE!!!
DeleteI know alot of pple will start saying he's cheating bla bla bla bt some tyms is nt really wat pple thinks.it happens to we women too,some tyms u jst get tired of ur husband or u just get angry at him at any slightest mistake does dat mean u are cheatin ?am married wit 2 adorable kids,bt sometyms this things happen nt becos u dont love ur selves anymore bt bcos we are human .try to ask ur husband if there's anythin botherin him he might nt tell u immediately bt he will definitely gv u a hint.there was a tym my husband was like that too i was worried nt becos i thought he was cheatin No! i kept askin and askin bt he kept sayin nothin then the only thin i did was become his friend more and more bt mind u i stoped askin wat his problem was i pretended like everythin was okay i was always talkin wit him like a friend would then 1day he told me i had done things that each tym he remembers he feels pain and it kills he's sexual appetit he told me my mistakes and i appologise and every thin s more than normal now!
ReplyDeleteare you kidding me...you get a side bitch na
ReplyDeleteChanges happens so when it does, you have to step up. Look sexy.. take care of yourself more and give him space. I know you care but sometimes just pretend as if he is not there. And then he will be the one thinking about what you are thinking. He will think maybe there is someone making you glow. The fact is, He married you because you are special and because he loved you so much. You can still bring back that fire in him.
ReplyDeleteThink about it
MRs. E
This what happens when the foundation of a marriage is built on the wrong ground. You both built this marriage on passions and butterfly feelings. But it takes more than that to hold a marriage together. So my advice madam is Go back to the creator of marriage, God. Retrace your steps and seek God's face. Give your life to him and watch him turn things around for you. This is the best advice you'll get. You can't use man's wisdom or wordly wisdom to handle what God himself created. You may wuru wuru your way around it but you'll never get it right. So take this advice of you're wise. It isn't too late.
ReplyDeleteFoundation of marriage? did you read or is it me? What makes you think it was built on passion and butter fly feelings?
DeleteDid she tell you that ? Even crap like this happens to people who have GOD as their foundation in marriage..Are you married? or is this just theoritical head knowledge?
Crap happens between couples with the best of foundations.
I agree with going back to the creator of marriages but the foundation bit....no now..Keep it real Please.
add another chick to the mix...spice it up for him with a threesome...
ReplyDeletenaija babes can like to think they're all hotter than beyonce...and even jay z nor dey stay one place
@ Poster, it's normal and happens once in a while in marriage. It has happened to us once. It doesn't necessarily mean he is cheating on you or anything like that. Inshort, let's not even assume he is chaeating in this case. No need to think negative. It could be that something is bothering him or he is under a lot of pressure. You know men don't like sharing some sensitive problems with their wife most times in order not to make their wife panic. It could be that you don't give him attention again as you use to do because you now havve kids to take care of thereby making him feel you don't care for him again. You know men are like babies.
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot of things you can do to get that sparkel back in your marriage. You guys can take a weeked off and spend quality time together, without the kids. Get a trusted person to take care of the kids while you are gone. Go to a nice hotel or anywhere private in town or out of town. Try to connect back with each other. Have a heart to heart talk with him. Have mind blowing sex with him. If you know those things you do for him before the kids came that you don't do again, please try and start doing them again.
Buy nice gifts for him, write him a poem or love letter. When he comes home from work, welcome him cheerfully, follow him to the room, help him undress, run his bath for him. Keep yourself very clean and always smell nice. Cook him good food, his favourites if he has any. Don't nag him. Help him do his pedicure and manicure. Make sure the house is always neat, make sure the bed is well made and the room well arranged before he comes back from work. Encourage him to always rest and help him massage his back (dress sexy while at it, *wink). When he is @ work, send him romantice texts, call briefely to check up on him and don't forget to always tell him how much you love and adore him. Treat him like the king he is.
Just do something romantic and nice that you don't do before. Pay more attention to him. Compliment him always, make him feel good about himself. Always tell him he is a good father and husband and that you are very proud of him. I'm sure he will change immidiately when you do half of these. It works really. Before you know it, he will pour his hearts out to you.
Then most importantly, hand everything over to God almighty. Commit. Your husband and your household to God, he never fails. Always pray for your husband my dear.
Goodluck.
In addition,spark up ur r/ship with lil tinz that work,eg...while watching tvu can sit on his lap n giv him a lil lap dance ,drag him down d stairs n initiate a quickie while ur children r upstairs,giv him a butty dance while he's removing his clothes or wen relaxed.......lick ur childrens's lollipop(pin pop) in a sensual way in his presence sticking ur tongue out n feigning orgasm with a weird sensual look .hold his palms n giv him a finger fuck...give him sensual side winks and blow kisses.....draw up kisses in small notes and send him with promise for d real tin.make some adjustments,dnt nag him or suspect him.recount sensual encounters u guys had b4 n tell him u love them n wants it back.....engage in spoken sex with him "I like d look on ur eyes wen u f**k me "etc.try to make an impression on him each time he visits....smtin that wen he's alone he remembers n bursts into laugh...............write him a novel and sometimes send pics of ur new hair do .......dnt make any of these repetitive......d aim is to spice up tinz.....above all pray to God....I speak from experience.
DeleteDo you realize all you've said can even irritate him some more? Men are very different! You just have to study him and find his weak spot. It takes a lot of hard work, but you got to do it
Delete@Ren, u totally spoke my mind, Men are so different! Tell my boo u like d way he fucks n give him seductive eyes etc, he'd fink u r possessed sef lmaooo and tell u how indecent u r acting.. different strokes
DeleteIts a little bit too early to have sex hiccups in marriage. But its not unusual. Why dont you try to spice things up yourself instead of leaving it to him. Hes probably having issues hes dealing with and cannot be bothered spending energy to go through the chores of foreplay and all-all he needs is to release himself-something to help him sleep.. Its selfish-using you to satisy himself without caring about your own sexual needs too- but you have to call his attention to it quite lovingly. Youll probably discover whilst talking about it that he does have things on his mind...Hes not necessarily cheating on you-forget those insinuations.Ive been married for over twenty years so with a little bit of modesty,you can take this advice from experience.Good luck.
ReplyDeleteI hate hearing women complain about men not doing foreplay. I don't do foreplay. We do foreplay. If you cant initiate sex and come up with ideas and take the time to turn me on from time to time then we can watch football. Maybe you became boring long before he did.
ReplyDeleteHahahahhahahah @ watch football! Same with my husband sometimes he will say no sex today honey cos today is football day lolz....
DeleteI am the POSTER, i must say i'm learning alot from all your advices both negative and positive and i would definately try out some tips i've learnt from you all, cos my desire is to strive towards making my marriage work, having a happy home & being a happy wife as well God willing! Mrs E, yours is the bomb! Are there more people with personal experiences to share? I wouldn't mind, it's a good thing i shared my situation on here. Thanks brothers & sisters!
ReplyDeleteNo wonder he cringes when u touch him
DeleteMrs E's advise is a recipe for diasaster
Husband piority tufiakwa whose piority are u?
Complex women
Msewwwww
Bye
Ezenwanyi, you will be surprised I am his priority even before his boys, he thinks of me what would make me happy. I don't need to explain how my relationship has turned out for good since I made him number one. He seeks to please me by doing things for me, a happy wife is a happy mother. This works for me and my husband so it's my advice. I don't want to sound boastful but because of God and his wisdom in how to handle my hubby, he changed my car twice in a year, i told him I needed to change my makeup, he gave me the money, money for everything a woman needs, these things he gives me will rub on on my boys, I mean the confidence my boys feel when all their needs are met and that they get to do cool stuff in a cool car. Anyway to each their own
DeleteMrs E
Poster make your husband your priority and watch him kick you to the curb. My boo worships the ground I walk on because he can never figure me out. Men love women that can hold their own. Don't be too clingy. Distract yourself with work and your kids. Who the hell are we kidding? There's no hard and fast rule for igniting the passion. Do what works for both of you. Follow Mrs E's advice and go down the drain. She's so independent and desperate.
DeletePoster make your husband your priority and watch him kick you to the curb. My boo worships the ground I walk on because he can never figure me out. Men love women that can hold their own. Don't be too clingy. Distract yourself with work and your kids. Who the hell are we kidding? There's no hard and fast rule for igniting the passion. Do what works for both of you. Follow Mrs E's advice and go down the drain. She's so independent and desperate.
DeleteMy dear, Look its normal to go through hiccups, the first 5years. When you get to 10 years, you have passed through a major landmark, then by your 20th anniversary, God help you. You start dealing with issues of him acting like a kid(quite annoying) The key is Patience. Please know when he needs his space and when to attack.(when to famz for attention) You should know also take good care of yourself and dont ever let go. Please dont ever let him come home from work and see you in your wrapper on your chest or that hedious boubou! with your disgusting shower cap. Make sure your house is always neat and has a welcome smell. Kids or no kids, your home has to be clean. Freeze his favorite drink and dont welcome him with your complaints. He's had more than enough from work. Always try to have a smile and talk less. Then when his all relaxed, you can slip in one or two complaints. The key is you have to be relaxed yourself!! Thats what they look for outside with those horse band snatchers. Wish i had time to give you more tips, but i've got to go. Goodluck!
Deleteezewanyi lol are u drunk today?
DeleteAnon 11:53 AM, you obviously don't sound like a gentle man, ok clap for yourself because you don't do foreplay mscheeww! Very dry man infact it's men like you that make marriage boring oya go and watch football with your wife. Story!
ReplyDeleteDear poster, sorry for the typos in my earlier post, I'm glad I could help, I tell you every day is a new day to learn something new. A couple of years ago, my husband told me that his married friend was telling him about his ex girlfriend and the awesome sex they had and how he still misses it now that he is married. I asked my husband how was the sex with the married friends ex and he told me the girl likes it rough and that she loves being spanked and basically a whore in the bedroom. To be honest I dont know if it was ny husbands confession or his friends, but I went on the internet to a porn site and watched spanking porn, I got turned on and I said I was going to try it. When he came home that night,( from the horny feeling from watching porn )as he was undressing and taking of his belt I told him I have been naughty and I need a gentle smack. I tell you the spark in his eyes that day I will never forget. That was one wild night. After we finished we talked about it and i said the day he ever hits me outside sex then we are done and i will be the one to tell him when to smack my bum he agreed. This might not be for every one but know your man and know what he likes. Everyone has an imagination as long as it is safe and done in a safe environment then carry on. We dint make live again most times we fuck, even when I'm not in the mood he prefers to wait till I an horny so I can be wild for him. Above else pray, we can only do little or nothing without God. I pray for my husband well oooo. Mrs E
ReplyDeleteIt's always good to hear both sides oh. This is how my cousin then used to open her bent mouth then to say "my husband doesn't find me attractive again, what will I do. I didn't do anything oh. I'm a good wife oh. " she even made me almost hate the man for nothing until I spent one weekend in their house and I found out she's the reason of ALL her problems. Once her husband comes home instead of greeting, she will jump up and say "ehen, u don go fuck ur cheap sluts, idiot, big fool, ur mother is useless". The man will go inside the room, she'll follow him there and continue nagging and abusing him. The man started staying out late just because of her bad character. I asked her if the guy had ever been unfaithful, she said she doubts it. I said then why the abuse? Her answer was "to address his fuck up in advance". If this kind of man now starts cheating, or staying away from home, who will blame him??
ReplyDeleteMy dear, in my own case, I've been married for 19 years. I am the one whose sex drive has reduced. My husband is still as randy as ever. He wants to do it every day if possible. Left to me, cuddling and just being intimate without sex is fine but my husband doesn't want to hear of it. Sometimes, he asks me whether I am cheating on him because he doesn't understand why I am not as randy as I was when I was much younger. I just laugh.... Cheat on him... NEVER!
ReplyDeleteFor me, its the responsibilities of work, being a mum, running the home, etc that simply wear me out and by the time he comes grinning at night, I simply close my eyes and start pretending to be fast sleep. He knows I pretend because he tells me the next day and we laugh it off. However, I don't overdo it. If I do that, I'll end up pushing him out and it'll be my fault.
Your case is a bit worrisome though because you have been married for a much shorter time- 5 years!! At that stage in my marriage, I was definitely a 100% into sex with my hubby. Its only in the last 2 -3 years,my interest has dwindled. Maybe something is bothering your hubby. it might be financial responsibilities. That can affect a man's drive. Is he on any sort of medications? Some of them dampen one's sex drive. Don't nag him about it. Just have a heart to heart talk and sort it out. It's way too soon for him to have lost interest in sex.
All the best dear!
My sis my own marriage don tire me.I married my husband as at. The age of 19 yrs not considering the implication of him that he had 2 kids out of wedlock from 2 different women(tu face things). Fast forward to 18 yrs after,the two boys are now men with theeir own families,the thot of me marring someone grandpapa finished my heart.sex in my marriage don enter voice mail.just bored and tired of this old man!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteSoon to be the portion of all these girls that marry their papa mate as second Snd third wives
DeleteNot married yet, so I can't give a constructive advise. Mine is I just started dating one nice, matured and good looking guy. Been dating 4 2months now and not had sex yet cos I told him we not gonna have sex cos of what I went thru in my previous relationship. Which I told him every thing. Now sometime last week. We went out and it got so late dat we had 2 crash in a hotel. At midnight we started kissing and smooshin, tho no sex intended on my mind o. While on it, I just used style touched his Willy willy just 2 have an idea wat's yonder. Damn!! I was sooo disappointed 2 behold the smallest, shortest,tiniest 'D**k i've ever come across in my 30yrs on earth. Now my questn, can I marry a man with dat size of D**k? How can he satisfy me? Cos I want equal satisfaction during love making. If I finally agree 2 marry him regardless, shld I get a sex toy in addition? Pls I need concrete advises.
ReplyDeleteNo the question is,does he want to marry you? Look at you getting ideas. Why would you even end up in a hotel with your boyfriend? Doesn't he have a house? Any serious guy that wants you won't take you to a hotel. Hope he's not playing you o. Sort this out first then come back with your question.
DeleteThe size of his willy willy may not really matter. Test him first * winks*. He may even use it better that the big strong unreliable ones.
DeleteThose small dicks does wonders...some men with big dicks don't know how to use dem...u don't need a sex toy so far it can satisfy your urge....marry him if you truly love him but pls,make sure you taste the dick b4 anything...
DeleteNo sex till marriage. Linda where are u o. Oji no kwa here.
DeleteMy husband has a small dick.. D first day I saw it I was worried.. But dat wa untill I put it in my mouth aand sucked life into it.. Turned out he's way bigger wen erect than wen he's flaccid.. So for ur own good u have to go all the way with him and be sure its to ur taste if not sex toys will neva give you the same satisfaction as a fleshy dick. Shalom.
DeleteThe same with mine, but wen he had an erection see gobe. He is d best sex ive ever had. The fore play, oral sex and all blows my mind away. He sure knows how to use his thing. I agree with Linda on the try i t b4 marriage. The two things that destroy a home is SEX and FINANCE. Mrs O
DeleteMy case is pathetic cos the sex is so bad I can read thru it and to add insult to injury, no money. I don even tire. May God help me o. My kids are the ones keeping me there.
DeleteNkaylicious abi nah wetin be your name? Sorry to disappoint you but i am very married with kids…Buahahahahahahaha…I just love this blog. Lol
ReplyDeleteHehehehe..and the one wen say him go slap me..Lol.. if you slap me :) you go see different hands and legs wen go dey slap you left right and centre for your dream…buahahahahahahahaha…muahahahahahaha...
ReplyDeleteO Lord! this sounds like me few months ago.
ReplyDeletethis post is really enligtening, genny baby, mrs E and all others, God bless u all. @poster, it is well with your marriage In sha Allah
ReplyDeleteBut why. Why are we (women) always the ones trying so hard to make things work. It is exhausting. Haba. O sun mi jare.
ReplyDelete@Jlo, i luv u for that million dollar question, why why? & the ego filled men too don't seem to realise this. Na wa ooo!
DeleteBcos it takes at least one person to make a marriage work. Read proverbs 31 and gain wisdom.
DeleteHas your body changed? Have you gained a lot of weight that may be a turn off, is your general hygiene still the same? If you are still carrying some excess baby weight are you doing anything to lose it, exercising or diet modification? Do you still make time for couples activities outside of the bedroom, do you still go out for dates, quiet walks, and just moments alone to yourself to interact away from the kids? I do not know your financial situation, or if you can afford a babysitter to allow you to do these things. But while the wild sex days do die down after a time in marriage, you should not allow the attraction and quality time spent together to die off too. Sometimes we as women become caught up in the children and forget that there is a man who also require our attention. Make time for each of you with no pressure for sex, just to go see a movie, or night out to dinner and some drinks, and just because you are married now does not mean you cannot dress a little sexy when you go out together, doesn't have to be nothing over the top. Some women think they are married with children so they need to be frumpy, no, get some sexy heels, a nice snug freakum dress, a new hairstyle, an intoxicating perfume he has never smelled on you before, and doll yourself up when you have your date nights, and slowly bring the old magic back.
ReplyDeleteIf you pack lunches for him to take to work, you can put love notes in there, nothing overtly sexual just reminding him that you love and appreciate him. You can also send him a few sexts ever so often, nothing seems to turn guys on more than to receive a naughty sext at work, it's okay to step outside of your comfort zone, and try new things. One other thing is to become his best friend, so that if he going through anything he will feel confident confiding in you, but he will have to trust you that you do not share his business with your friends and family.
I 'm the POSTER & wow! I'm truly amazed by the constructive responses on this issue, SDK blog readers are truly one family, let's keep up with this spirit. I've read & considered all the advises from you all, especially the married ones who shared their personal experiences & just want to appreciate everyone for taking out time to respond. I totally agree that the marriage instittution isn't for children & it needs hardwork to make it work. The Lord is my strength. @ bunny no try am o! If your guys d***k is too small & you want to marry him like that & later buy sex toys to derive satisfaction there may be no point because for how long will you continue that way! Weigh your options before you commit my dear because marrige is together forever. My 2cents!
ReplyDeleteMrs E and Genny baby?
DeleteYou are not serious
Poster, u need to know when a man is happy and when he is down,been married for 7 years now by God's grace and sometimes when hubby is down eg, nt happy no money etc sex is nt gonna lol... Well it's vice versa for me too . U need to pray , read the word of God that assures u that no matter wat the problem is God is able to do all things ... Try spark things up for hubby book a gate away , do evening eat out , do go out as families and ve a gud time . Just be rest assured that with prayers God will fix all .. Cheers bbz ve a gud one luv..
ReplyDeletePoster, u need to know when a man is happy and when he is down,been married for 7 years now by God's grace and sometimes when hubby is down eg, nt happy no money etc sex is nt gonna lol... Well it's vice versa for me too . U need to pray , read the word of God that assures u that no matter wat the problem is God is able to do all things ... Try spark things up for hubby book a gate away , do evening eat out , do go out as families and ve a gud time . Just be rest assured that with prayers God will fix all .. Cheers bbz ve a gud one luv..
ReplyDeleteThis is the same problem am having
ReplyDeleteI been dieing in silence since bcs when u ask for advice some people ll use it against you or make u feel bad about your self but thank God for these post
I hv learnt somethings and am still learning more
our petrol on hs trousers and set it alight, d heat will definitely come on......
ReplyDeleteOkay, What if he's cheating??? Abeg no give itself hypertension. Forget d side chicks n work on u, make him wanna come home. Wear shorts indoors, wear figure flattering outfits wen going out, make him feel like others want u. Fix ur hair, nails n wear light make up. Av a special date like no kids note, movies day, extreme sex day and all. Give him a reason to come home. Let him come home to a naked wife(kids away). Tease him a bit. Gist about everything (gbeborun) sleep on his chest. When u serve his dinner, do that on ur knees. Let him feel like a king. Play the fool to get whatvu want. I do not totally agree with ezewanyin coz of ur man is rugged ( tie ba e). Sometimes I address ma man as "ur excellency, ur majesty, sweetheart" and we av a play word. Play with him, sometimes ma hubby calls to find out what surprise awaits him... Get him to sit on a comfy chair, sipping wine n watching his wife whine to a nice song. Be adventurous,
ReplyDeletesugarplum. (Now he knows its me)
@ Anon 11:12 PM, thanks alot. Poster.
DeleteServe him dinner on her knees? Like seriously? Poster, I pity u in advance if you ever try ds. Please don't lose yourself in order to please any man. Whether u serve him dinner prostrating or you serve him dinner licking his feet, ur husband will still be the way he is if you don't pay attention to what the real problem is. Many peeps have advised you based on what the know about their own spouses but it is you and you alone that knows what your husband's issues are. Talk to him, talk to him n talk to him. Communication cannot be overemphasized in marriage. By talking you will find out what the problem truly is. And try to be his friend that way he'll open up more...ok bye...EEE!!!
DeleteKneel down?omashe ooo
DeleteMy two cents, love yourself. When last did h love yourself. When last did u dress up and look beautiful and look in the mirror and say ure beautiful. When last did you do something special for yourself. Love yourself. Bring back spark into ur own life and that spark would draw him in. Remember you are doing it for yourself, the moment you start doing it for him u seem desperate and alienate him the more. What Ezanwanyi is saying is true, though we might not understand. She seems like a woman who loves herself. When you show love to and value yourself, it's magnetic. Of course uld add all the tips and tricks to spice it up. But it starts from you
ReplyDeleteBeautiful
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteAppreciation is the key to doing more that is why I have took some
ReplyDeletetime out to thank some one who cured me of my 4 years weak erection
problem. It became a major problem to me as it was affecting my
marital life and I was no longer comfortable so I decided to look for
a solution and I came across a post of Dr Alaska and how he has been
helping people of the same problem I contacted him and told him all I
have been facing in my life. He told me how to get his product and how
to take it after every thing I find out that all was now okay with me
and that my weak erection problem was gone that is why I have come out
today to say thank you to him and for any weak erection problem
either from man or woman. Contact him on dralaskajohn@gmail.com or
call him +2348169591194
Thanks for one's marvelous posting! I certainly enjoyed reading
ReplyDeleteit, you migbt be a great author. I will remember to bookmark your blog and will eventually come back someday.
I waant tto encourage yourself to continue your great job,
have a nice afternoon!
Feel free to surf to my weblog hair loss treatment sydney
Very energeti article, I enjoyed that bit. Will there be a part 2?
ReplyDeleteMy web blog - weight loss shakes
Hey there! I know this is sort of off-topic however I had
ReplyDeleteto ask. Does operating a well-established website like yours require a
lot of work? I'm completely new to writing a blog however I doo write in my diary every day.
I'd like to start a blog so I can share my experience and feelings online.
Please let me now if you have any kind of recommdndations or tips for brand new aspiring bloggers.
Appreeciate it!
Here iss my homepage basketball shoes 2014