WOW,this is serious.....
Dear BV's this is a true story and I need your candid advice before I take a decision on what to do. Also, a lot of single ladies will learn from this. I will try to cut it short……..
I got married to my husband 2 years ago after we met at a 9- months training in South Africa. How did we meet? After one of the sessions, he approached me and asked for my name and all that and I told him. Few weeks later we met somewhere in a mall and all but nothing happened. About a month afterwards, we exchanged numbers and began to talk- no strings attached yet.
After a while, he began to talk marriage to me and all his friends began to beg on his behalf. After the training, he proposed to me in a public place and I accepted. The truth is that it came to me as a shock and I didn’t know what to do as he was already on his knees. I took d ring reluctantly and we kicked off from there.
A year later we got married. We did not have sex all through our dating/ courtship period until our wedding night. I noticed some traits in him which I didn’t like. He was so unromantic and showed it. For instance, he will travel for months and return without any excitement to see me, no hugs, no pecks, nothing, not even a gift.
I kept wondering and consoled myself that he did not want to be tempted to have sex. I am a very emotional and romantic person, so it kept bothering me. I spoke to him once or twice but nothing changed.
On one occasion, I travelled to where he worked to visit for a week, my people, do you believe that I did not see him until a day before I left and he offered to come see me because they were lodged in a hotel. I had planned to stay at least a night with him and stay the rest with my relatives there. I got so mad and called off the relationship thereafter- it was close to our introduction. He sent people to beg and all that and I accepted again. We got married.
There was no excitement on the wedding day not all, I noticed it clearly but I felt it was the stress or so much money he spent. On that night when we were supposed to explore, I was disappointed. I used to hear that it’s the hubby that takes off the wedding dress from the bride after the wedding.
O boy eh I wear my own till almost 7pm.
After we got to the hotel that wedding day, he first said that he wanted to host his friend in the bar there and I said ok. He came back after about an hour and said his cousin who was lost for 15 years just returned and he was called at home.
I said ok, no probs. My dear, this took till 9pm ON MY WEDDING NIGHT O. I was so sad that I cried and cried. Regrets had already started creeping in. He came back and we made out- it was just there jor. Nothing spectacular. The next morning, he went to have his bath in his family house close to where we were and came back with family in the car.
That was supposed to be thanksgiving morning. The car was filled with them and he asked me to share the front seat with his best man.
Mogbe o!!!!!!!!!!!!!! is this a bad dream or what?!
I don enter one chance o, I said to myself. Then I offered to take a taxi to church while they go in the car but he refused and asked his friend to stay back.
After the boring bitterleaf moon, we went home and 80% of the time, I initiated sex and romance for the first 7 months of our marriage. Then, he will stay 2 weeks without checking if my punani is there or not, then it extended to 3 weeks and then one month and so on. Then I started crying and asking him what the problem was.
He will sleep in the guest room every night and I will beg him to come to the room and all. This happened for about a year. And then I started getting depressed and very bitter all the time. Please I wash my punani very well so no I aint smelling. I stopped approaching him and we will stay for 2-3 months then he will remember me.
This time he stayed for 9 months without giving me even a peck and one day he resurfaced struggling with me, he obviously wanted a second child- oh I didn’t mention that I have a baby. He had his way and then 3 weeks later, I was on my period and he goes, ‘so you no even carry belle sef’.
Ah!!!!!!! So that was the motive?
2 weeks later, he tried to pounce on me again but I made up my mind that I wont let him.
My sisters, for over a year my hubby hasn’t given me a hug, not to talk of kissing me. If I travel and call him he doesn't sound like someone that is missing us. It kills the love I have for him so if I don't call he won't call.
I see messages from girls but I pretend like I am stupid and blind. I stumbled on one recently and he asked her to give him a baby. My eyes popped open.
I am tired, I am lonely, sad and depressed. The sight of him alone torments and irritates me. I asked him severally what I did to him but he says nothing. Do I have to wait for him to beat me before I am permitted to move out and have my peace? What should I do? Please help a sister.
BTW, I have prayed, fasted, tushed up, even watched war room, lol, etc but all to no avail. If I cheat now, that will be another chronicles.. I am at my wits end
There is still so much to say, but I don tire jor. The bottom line is that he doesn’t treat me right. Did I mention that he doesn't even take care of our daughter? He meets 2% of her needs and I do 98%. He's also a mummy’s boy o. Mummy comes first and then others. He does not bring money for anything even up to milk for the baby.
I will cook with my money and serve him instead of saying he won't eat, he will leave the food open and go out. Some times weeks will pass we won't even discuss. Marriage takes a lot of work I know but I feel both parties play the role to make it work.
I need mature advise from concerned BVs..
Ah this is complicated ooooh.let me read comments and learn.
LMAO@you have read war room.Thank God we will be spared from that advice,unless somebody will say you should watch it again...