Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Emergency room Series - Domestic violence

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Wednesday, 13 December 2017

Emergency room Series - Domestic violence

It is better to walk away with your worth than die with it





A lady in her early thirties was brought to the ER by her neighbors. She was coughing, burping, very restless, sweating, and had bruises on her. She was said to have had a heated argument with her husband who hit her so bad.


She was said to have locked herself in the kitchen afterwards where she drank an unknown amount of kerosene in an attempt to take her life and she passed out. We were told it was when the husband peeped through the key hole and saw her on the floor that he raised an alarm. The neighbors helped to bring down the kitchen door and rushed her to the hospital. They claimed she regained consciousness on their way to the hospital. The husband didn't accompany them for reasons I don't know.


She was having difficulty in breathing so she was put on oxygen to help her breath better. Her eyes kept rolling backwards too. Shortly after, she started having seizures so she was sedated. We put up IV fluids to rehydrate her and reduce the dangerous effect of the kerosene she drank. She had cutaneous decontamination in which her clothes were removed and had her skin washed thoroughly with soap and water because she smelt of kerosene too. She was then covered up with an hospital garment. The doctors also preformed a procedure whereby her stomach was emptied of all its contents. She also had some medications that helped to reverse the effects of drinking kerosene.


After a few hours, she woke up. Her vitals signs steadily got better and she requested to go home as she had a young child with the nanny at home. She wasn't allowed to leave because she was talking gibberish and was a bit drowsy and we didn't want her to endanger the child at home. We also called for the psychiatrist to see her. The neighbors were really helpful and they contributed money to pay for her bills. One of them went back to her house to ensure the child was safe


An author once said 'No one wants a failed marriage, and no one wants to admit that they are not going to live their "happily ever after," like their friends and their neighbors'. The cold fact is that if you are in an abusive marriage, you are not alone. An unfortunate truth, is that many marriages are darkened by violence and abuse.


You can take relief in knowing that you are not alone and that domestic violence in marriages is far too common. There are many people in your exact situation, but there is a way out


Most people think that domestic violence in marriages only applies to physical abuse.

It is important to know that physical abuse is not the only type of abuse that defines domestic violence and abuse in marriage. Verbal abuse is also unwanted violence. Financial abuse is unwanted violence. And, sexual and psychological abuse are unwanted and unwarranted violence as well. The common factor in all of these forms of violence is that the abuser is using some sort of means to control their spouse. 


Many times, the victim is blamed for the terrible behavior of the aggressor. No matter what though, it is never the victim's fault, no matter what mistakes the victim has made in life. The fault is in the hands of the abuser as they have the need to dominate their spouse, no matter what they have to do to achieve that dominance.


I count the woman lucky to be alive. A lot of other victims don't live to tell their stories. If you are in a similar situation, where you are abused by your wife or husband, It's better you seek help fast. It was clear to us that the woman wanted to commit suicide. She must have been through a lot to want to do that. 


Also, if you have friends or family members going through abusive marriages or relationships. It's your duty to reach out to them in the little way you can. Love doesn't hurt.

16 comments:

Miss Ess said...

I thank God for her life. Please if you are im an abusive marriage/relationship kinfly6and humbly leave, ALIVE.

Adadioramma said...

Commit suicide over a man? It is not possible. Abusive marriage is cancerous. Women, if your husband is not abusive and chronic cheater, you can still work out things with him but if he is, life first before title.

Eleganza said...

this D.V is getting out hand ooo! thank God she is alive, i know she will go back there in the name of my child/children.

Yori Yori Princess Loveme Jeje said...

hmmmmmm painful. It is well with marriages.

Kele Bobo said...

Thank God she survived some didn't to even ask of baby#smh

Chameleon said...

oh... she suddenly remember she has a baby, what if she had died?

Anonymous said...

My mum had been in an abusive relationship with my dad. It was when we grew up that we thought her to stand firm and should not take it anymore. D day he called for a meeting that he'll be leaving her( he has been always threatening to leave in the past at any slight provocation)she'll beg and cry and kneel but on this fateful day,she was about to beg as usual but we told her not to cos the emotional abuse became too much that she always felt ugly. This is a person that will engage in quarrel with his wife(my mum) and call her all sort of names in the presence of all our neighbors. We made her strong. Now my mum is very happy and looks younger now unlike when she was with my dad. Although we are in good terms with my dad but not as close as we are to our mum. We are practically leaving with her and go to see him once in a while. I feel sad that my parents are not together but there's peace now and my mum is happy. Serving God and always smiling. I'm believing God for a good job,so I can put a bigger smile on her face. I'll also support my dad but mum is d first on my list.

Anonymous said...

An enlightening piece. I'm glad she survived the suicide attempt. Please guys suicide is and will never be the way out. Seek help before things he out of hand.its better you walk out of an abusive marriage bedeviled with violence and threat to life and sanity rather than remain there and become miserable,hopeless,despondent and suicidal.the life we are living is God given. And we have no right whatsoever to take it. Than you ER poster for a very educative piece.

Anonymous said...

It is well o

Anonymous said...

That's the spirit dear. May God help our marriages

Anonymous said...

How come you're always the first to comment in this series. I hail thee MA. Haha

Anonymous said...

My dad physically abused my mum that he broke her head and never cared....Mum moved out and we begged her to come back, she did, but became sick after about 2weeks, I heard she always cried and my dad asked her does it mean she gets worse any time he is around. He never took her to the hospital. My younger brother later took her, but she died the day I begged my dad to go see her in the hospital....oh my mother, I Miss you so much.... Dad has been telling whoever that cares to listen that I'm accusing him of killing my mum, which never happened, that I should come back home for a kindred meeting....hmmmmm,you won't see my shadow dad. Been calling him, for more than 2years but he doesn't want to talk to me. He started picking my calls just last month after I bought him things of about 200k and sent to him.I just want peace. Dad wants me to be sending him my salary and hence all the allegations. Mum, I Miss you, crying as I'm writing this,I'm married now, to a Doctor,hubby is a direct opposite of dad,done with medical school, about to start residency when your grandson who you didn't see is 1year,you would have helped us if you were here and babysit, while I get back to do my residency. We all are doing great, chii your last child has graduated from the University, you left him after his common entrance into secondary school.I know you are up there smiling and watching over us. I miss you#saynotodomesticviolence.

Anonymous said...

Wow, your story is touching.

Paul Okah said...

Na wa o!

Anonymous said...

I don't know why most men behave like animals ...what a touching story.....May your dad never go unpunished, May your mum's gentle soul rest in peace. ..

Anonymous said...

what if ur husband if emotionally unavailable and doesnt care about ur emotions? how do we emotional beings survive in that kind of marriage?

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