Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Marriage Diaries 3

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Monday, January 15, 2018

Marriage Diaries 3

This is a part three of an un-put-down-able story....








I want to appreciate you all.
I want to thank Madam Korkus for giving me a large platform such as this. I also want to thank everyone who took time to read, digest, learn and give a feedback.


Your comments has really helped. It has really improved my self esteem. It has helped me to believe more in myself.
However I will still love your sincere comments. Lets keep it constructive and positive.


Do not also fail to let me know when I fail to handle a situation well. Send your advise or opinion on how best the situation could have been handled.
Thank you so much.Thank you.


................

Hubby changed the rule. He says I am intruding on his privacy. He says its best we keep to each others phone. According to Dear Hubby, a phone is personal.So hubby changed his password.He says I can change mine too.


NOTE
"Hubby insisted that he has my password, social media passwords while we were dating.He checked through my phone whenever we see or after I come back from work each day. I must end the call with "I love you too" after every call even in public. He does same too. He called like twenty times a day.
In my former job, I was constantly meeting rich clients. Politicians at exotic spots in Lagos. I frequently went to places that he cant take me to. His income wont allow.Dear hubby felt threatened. But as a full housewife, no more competitors".


I am now a full housewife, dependent on him. He can do as he pleases. This new rule meant I can't watch my back again. But what he didn't know was that I was not interested in snooping again. The last one nearly gave me an heart attack. It gave me "Stroke" emotionally.
I was never going to put myself in that place again. So I simply concluded that what you don't know can't hurt you.
So we continued our journey to "happily ever after". 


One day, hubby came back from work and requested that I help him charge his phone. It was already locked. But you know when you have unread messages on social media. It displays the preamble.
For example, " SDK started a live video(your handle name).But the handle name I was seeing was not the one I know.He had created other social media accounts.I checked the accounts.They were private.


NOTE
"This means I can't trace his likes and comments. It also means he might be single. The new handle would not have our "lovey dovey" or wedding pictures".


I was livid that this man is getting more bold each day. I am this "petrol type of person that stirs trouble but I no get liver".
I did not confront him immediately.I allowed him to have his beauty sleep.


NOTE
"From the very first day of our marriage, hubby sleeps immediately he comes back from work. Its an everyday routine. He does not eat. He will just take water or juice and off to dream land.That sleep takes place on the sitting room sofa not on our matrimonial bed. I keep his food in a warmer and I also go to bed(matrimonial).I often sleep alone. Oga only enters the room around 5.00am or 6.00am to come and do the do.I have tried to change him, pleaded and cajoled. Nothing changed so I accepted to carry my cross honourably".



Hubby is one of those men that do things their way. For example, he eats only a particular type of beans, I don't like that type. If i decide to cook my own type. Hubby won't eat it. So his type of beans became my favourite.
For those wondering and asking if we didn't date. We did. But we did it the conventional Christian way and educated females way.
I was independent. I have gifted hubby hundreds of thousands before. I only cooked for him few times. Mostly during special events like birthdays and Valentine's. And he ate whatever I cooked. 


I slept over at his place only once before we were married.And it was for a night. Everywhere was clean and he slept on the bed with me. I never washed his cloths till we got married.
So tell me how I could have known all this.
In the morning, I confronted him. We had a very huge quarrel over it.He was about to walk out on me when I hit him on his back with my hand. How dare he. Who does that.He was shocked but never hit me back. (I have never done it since then and I won't do it again).
I am still in the marriage and hubby has never hit me once.No physical violence up till today.But he abuses and yells.


NOTE
I was fed up. I angrily said if he showed me this part of him, I would never have agreed to marry him. I said if i wasn't pregnant at the time I would divorce him without thinking twice. Dream or no dream. He replied. He said he would never have married me too if he knew I was not going to submissive, stubborn and disrespectful.

Before marriage I told him I will not call him "daddy" or use the plural nouns or is it verbs to address him like they do where I come from. It signifies respect.We addressed each other by pet names Even while talking to other parties, we say my husband or wife.


We moved on after the fight. But we said a lot of trashy and bad things about each other.


NOTE.
He was taking my patience for stupidity. So what If I wasn't working? His he the first to cater for his wife? its not even up to a year yet.
I was tired of keeping quiet. I wanted him to know that my skoin skoin was till intact.He is too petty and selfish.


Another incidence happened after that, hubby does not keep friends. None at all. I keep friends. Male friends.But they don't visit us. Marriage sort of drew the line. So aside family members, we don't have visitors.
Hubby is sort of a private person.He does not like crowd or people invading his space.

So he told me one day that two of his best customers would be visiting us.
These customers coming were part of our grooms men during our wedding.So you will agree with me that they are important enough to be treated right. It was an impromptu visit. We only knew of their coming hours before they arrived. 

They were in the neighbourhood and remembered he lives around there.
We had only ofada stew in the house. So I hurriedly boiled white rice.
Hubby served them drinks and I gave them prawn crackers to munch on first.


When they were ready to eat, I went to dish their food. I put each serving on a tray. I was about to open the kitchen door and give them to their rightful owner when hubby walked in.He saw four or five pieces of meat on each plate. Oga became angry. He said I must reduce the pieces of meat to two. Our visitors were in the parlour awaiting their food and we were both struggling with the plate of food. He wanted to take it from me and reduce the meat. I was not going to agree...........


NOTE.
Brethren from the South West and those familiar with Ofada stew.You know the way the way the meat is being cut right. Very small pieces that you just carry along with each spoon of rice. Like 20 or 50 naira meat.
How can you now serve adults two pieces?.This men were not only married but Fathers. They were also very much older than us. We were not broke. They did not come and beg for food. How can we now insult them with the food we are presenting to them. It also means that I don't know how to treat guests. What opinion will they have of me? 


For God's sake the kitchen is my territory. It is not his business. I am the Lord of the kitchen. The home maker. He has no business here. While growing up, My father provides money for food and he does not come to the kitchen to select the meat my mum will serve him with nor interfere with visitors portion. He simply trusted her decision.

HE IS MAKING ME FEEL LIKE A BIMBO.HE IS INDIRECTLY TELLING ME THAT I AM GOOD AT NOTHING. HE IS TELLING ME I CAN'T TAKE CARE OF THE HOME FRONT. HE HAS SCORED ME LOW IN THE OTHER ROOM AND YOU WANT TO DO THIS TO ME AGAIN?(sobbing).

I want you to note that hubby grew up with females. Separated mum. He had no father figure in his life.He never stayed with an uncle and she never remarried. So I think this affected him.I think he does not know it is wrong. But am telling him IT IS WRONG BUT HIS OVERSABI HEAD SAY NO HE IS RIGHT. "




We continued struggling with the plates............

93 comments:

  1. Hope d plates didn't fall o, ahhhhh,.
    See better dust ur CV n get ur job back if possible, by the time u start working, his phone will be d last thing on his mind.
    Ehen, who's feeding oga outside?
    Or he eats dinner before coming home? Or I didn't read that part well?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I also think you should try to get a job. The thing Is, jobs don't only help financially but in many more ways. All these drama will reduce by half when you become extra busy with work....


      Waiting for part 4

      Delete
    2. This is why it's is good to date well. Sleep over at each other's place several times. Spend the weekend together so you would know some things about your husband / wife to be.
      It's good to have sex too. You would have k own about his dirty nature if you had sex and spend more time together. Habits cannot be hidden for long.
      Now I hope our girls can see that marrying as a virgin does not determine a happy marriage

      Delete
    3. When Michelle Obama said we train our daughters and spoil our sons,this is the perfect definition if your husband's life
      He was treated like god,haba only son for that matter and you were wondering why your MIL told you to manage?.......lol, she probably was cleaning his shit at 20years

      Delete
    4. Too many "NOTEs" babe.

      I wonder why some men become nasty when a woman depends on them for everything.

      Mehn, I see those plates crumbling down and smashing into a hundred pieces in part 4.

      It is well with you poster.

      Delete
    5. You have to be smart in this thing called marriage. I'm still learning but I'll mention the two things you could have done better. First, when you noticed that he wanted you to leave his phone alone, that's the time you should ask why and what he's up to. That way he'll know you are not ignorant of his movements. So when you noticed he's now any Instagram hunni, tell him you like the game and you are joining too. Take your time and look good, let him see you take many selfies. Laugh a lot while you go through Instagram and pretend to take many calls. Dress up real nice and go out. Even if it's just a walk or chill with a Fanta somewhere. Ignore him and don't fight him for being a horseband claiming single on social media. Still cook his meals but be distant, busy and happy 😊. He will forget his single Instagram status and start investigating the source of your happiness. This doesn't mean there won't be other times.
      Secondly, if your husband says something you don't agree with, find a middle ground. Stubbornness doesn't work. If he said the pieces of meat are too much, you explain why you put that amount. If he still insists, ask how about 3? Cajole him, he will agree. Not by dragging plates. Two of you need to calm down, maybe talk to a counselor.

      Delete
  2. Marriage is to be enjoyed and not endured. You both need to go for counselling ASAP and not with church but a secular counselor that will talk sense into both of you sharply,

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Hahhahahaha...poster kuku kill me.. You and your hubby are both funny serious. But madam you take style stubborn small if not why not obey him when he instructed you to reduce the no of meat. Madam things are very hard for everyone now,so I won't blame oga. Recession has affected every body for obodo Naija. So what happened to the plate of rice? Hope say unah no later throway the food.. Kikikik..
      I love this series dyeeeee..

      But truth be told you have to learn the act of submission.

      Delete
    2. Reduce which meat? Did u know how ofada stew meat dey look like? If someone serve me with 5pieces self,i no go eat but thank God i don't eat outside anyhow

      Delete
    3. Nawa o, you are really trying, I can't take all these o, for what now? If I were you ild have served them the food like that, what is my own mtvhew, he would be the one they gossip now, she he doesn't have shame. This man is so evil, did he love you before marrying you? Cus it seems like he just wanted a good Christian girl from a good home, who was working and dint talk much, but even at that everyone has a breaking point na.
      I don't think it has anything to do with his mum, I know a woman that raised 5 good boys and they are respectful. He is just a user, how can he not sleep on his matrimonial bed? From day one I told my hubby no password or else no marriage, if he like make he dey delete his messages I don't care but password, I can't stand, even within my friends sef let alone partner

      Delete
    4. @intelligentsia,learn the act of submission you say?
      Oh no! This is fuckery. C'mon!

      PS: my judgment is strictly based on her version.
      It MIGHT change incase her husband is a BV and chooses to send his own her version in.
      You know say we de see like that for here.

      Delete
    5. This comment has been removed by the author.

      Delete
    6. It's just like counting the pieces of liver in fried rice. Ofada stew comes with uncountable tiny pieces of meat

      Delete
  3. Arrrrghhh.....i thought this was the last writeup....Stellaaaaaa. Poster I commend your patience oooo. It's not of this world. Cnt wait to follow through to the end.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. This your husband is something else oo,but this post has alot of things to teach the educated independent dating single girl.

      1)Ask the guys you are dating questions about how or what they understand by having a wife

      2)Discuss about life after the wedding,what he would consider a must from you as a wife whether sexual or otherwise

      3)Ladies make sure that you have a plan to be continuously independent of his finance after your wedding day.keep you jobs or businesses I beg you

      4)Let boundaries be known about infidelity or trust issues.let him no that there is no room for such in your life either as a single or a married woman.

      Finally dont just agree to everything during your courtship days all because you want to get the ring because I am sure that this poster saw some signs of his authoritarian attitude while dating but still went along with the relationship JUST FOR THE RING SO SHE CAN BE CALLED SOMEBODY'S MRS

      So as we read I hope we are learning.


      LEPπŸ˜›

      Delete
  4. Huuummmm....marital wahala,

    Leaves one in a totally confused state.

    But, financial independence on the part of the woman in most cases, takes care of the petty issues.


    What do I know sef?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Omg my bf grow up with females and his mom never got married too. Aye le

    ReplyDelete
  6. Thid your husband ehn πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚

    Abeg continue, I dey enjoy your story

    ReplyDelete
  7. Oh my, this thing called marriage is serious work.

    ReplyDelete
  8. your husband is very petty, imagine struggling plate with you to reduce the meat... this one go dey exchange words with you like woman. oh! sorry

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. My husband does it too
      Very petty somebody. He will complain about his own meat, visitors meat and food, everything. He enters the kitchen anyhow and opens pots to check soups. He will tell you he saw 5 pieces of meat yesterday night how co it's remaining 3. He can also nag from morning till night. That is my own cross. But he is generous, faithful, and neat

      Delete
  9. Make i go anonymous bf the judginas go look for who to decode,this marriage is another country entirely, less than 2years in marriage,i am tired already,we live in different state but he is killing me emotionally, we don't talk on regular basis,despite d fact that i am pregnant, he doesn't care,he has dis mentality of i am d man of the house,i am really tired,i have talked and complained, yet he's not changing at all,i was told he likes keeping to himself but he's married now but he doesn't want to realise that,i so much have peace of mind when i am single,his mum keeps telling me to pray for him to change but i am really fed up,we can go a month at times without talking, d last time we spoke was on 4th dis year,what a life.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Jan 4th??? Today is 15th. This is serious. Keep praying. I don't understand how a man will not care about his pregnant wife. Prayer changes everything, keep praying and make up your mind to talk with him at least once daily, tell yourself you won't go to bed without communicating. Call him if he doesn't call you. I bet it's not easy, considering that you're even pregnant. Just try your best to be happy for the sake of the baby, dont let a man give you high blood pressure

      Delete
    2. Hmm, i have never gone a day without talking to DH even if na quarrel talk over the phone, we must talk. How do you keep malice with a spouse? Try aΓ±d be happy for your baby's sake abeg.

      Delete
  10. Interesting! Start job hunting,you need a job ASAP

    ReplyDelete
  11. Women possess extraordinary strength.So there were still other women interested in this man with his dirty yucky habits?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. They aren't living with him to know his dirty habits though.

      Delete
  12. I had a bf who grew up with only his Mum and Auntie. Megan that thing can affrctem and make them behave like women: so petty.
    This guy when we argue his mouth is even more than me. He will insult me and be clapping at the same time. The guy would bitch like a woman and growing up I never say Dad behave like that I was so surprised. Sometimes when he was insulting me I will just look at him, and he will keep bitching and bitching
    Men need father figures in their lives mehn

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lolzzz
      That your guy na werey
      I hate guys that can bitch
      Imagine clapping and exchanging words with a gal.
      I can never be with that kind of man.

      Delete
    2. Hahahahahahaha@African chic biko hapum aka...chai,that your Bf na one in a million.

      Delete
    3. Women should watch out for this type of men

      Delete
    4. I just tried to picture a man quarelling and clapping hands as he rains abuses and all i can do with the thought is πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚.

      Delete
    5. There are men like this. my husband is one. I think all men from broken homes are dysfunctional. Now I see why some men also avoid women from broken homes

      Delete
    6. Mad man!!!
      Very funny πŸ™ŒπŸ˜‚

      Delete
  13. This thing called marriage sha,if person dey come dis world again,if i get d opportunity, God forbid i born outside wedlock again but if na my faith,i will just face my daughter jeje and zeroed my mind off marriage

    ReplyDelete
  14. Strong and stubborn woman, I hope the guests didn't overheard your argument o?

    ReplyDelete
  15. Hmmmm! Poster, this your situation is very confusing oh, kai! I'm reading this with the hope that things later got better, I wouldn't like to be in your shoes at all, which is why I ran out of my quasi-marriage after 2months. I saw fire!

    ReplyDelete
  16. My sister this isn't marriage, you are just living together and having sex. No iota of love, no respect, no companionship, no care . SMH

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Keep the comment constructive and positive.

      Delete
    2. I don't think so. Some people have their own way of loving.
      Besides they are just beginners,it will get better.

      Delete
    3. Pls this is at best emotional abuse.
      Even boys doing boyfriend/girl friend is sec school treat their girls better.
      Majority have been treated so badly in their marriages/relationship that they feel this is normal.
      This man doesn't respect his wife one bit and he is a chauvinistic bigot.

      Delete
    4. Super heady! No matter how his attitude would bring out d stubborn personality in a no nonsense woman.
      Poster u are very strong. But I heard this is usually the Rocky season but things would ease out as the years go by. You write so well.

      Delete
  17. Your husband is a chauvinist. He is not only very controlling, he is very petty, has poor hygiene and most likely a cheat too.
    All of these put together is very annoying. I must commend you for your patience.
    ...........
    What then happened as you both were struggling for the plates? Hope you both did not disgrace yourselves in front of your guests???
    ...........
    Anyway, while you put pen to paper to finish up the story, find time to update your c.v and dust yourself up to start job hunting.
    Because from what I see, see finish has entered this thing. He treats with you less than 1% respect and makes you feel worthless. WTH?
    Tsk!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. @bloggie she really try! If it's me I will leave him and come out and tell the guests: oga will serve you please, I'm feeling dizzy I need to lay down on the bed for 30minutes.

      Let him disgrace himself alone with 2 pieces of meat. Since he wants to control the kitchen

      Delete
    2. As in ehnnn... Chiki, I am totally with you on this one. Abi now. Let him go and disgrace himself by himself. Mtcheww

      Imagine struggling for the served meal maka anu. Ntakili anu oh!. (Ask Odowgwu to interprete for you jare cos this is just how I feel like expressing myself on this one)

      Ah ahnnn? Na wa!

      Delete
    3. Chikito!
      That's just me o!
      He will finish it by himself i no go drag this one wiv am.

      Delete
  18. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Expert, pardon me to take this down. Had no idea my comment published twice.

      Delete
  19. My advice is that you dust your cv and Go get yourself a job

    ReplyDelete
  20. Hmmmm!! What do I even know? Thanks for sharing. I'm really learning. This is the time I take my investment serious because I don't wish to work for a boss after I move to fiancΓ©' base. God please don't let this my sweet fiancΓ© change after marriage o.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Nice writeup.

    Sometimes for peace to reign, respect him @ the moment

    ReplyDelete
  22. Sorry poster but your hubby is just too petty HabA, dragging plate of food with his wife, who does that, I can't deal Biko, poster please try and look for a job

    ReplyDelete
  23. There's no respect and understanding especially from your husband's part. How can you be dragging plates of food with your wife because of meats? When some will ask you to add more meats. My dear, please search for a job or look for what to do before this man gives you High blood pressure. If you can avoid his troubles to enjoy your peace.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. High blood pressure +low self esteem +thinking too much +no friends+ no financial independence = -------

      Delete
    2. With all the pettiness and bitching, how will they live upto a 100 years (taking you back to the educative post) 😁😁😁
      This morning ne no well. I will most def leave the serving of the food to you and feign pregnancy sickness..... let’s see who shame go catch πŸ˜„

      Delete
  24. Your husband has his issue but so do you, from this write up it’s obvious you are not a submissive wife and you are very stubborn. You should not listen to those ppl supporting your actions of they are the once that would do whatever it takes to save their home. That being said , I think you both need to see a therapist and you also need to be more prayerful and commit your marriage into Gods hands. Wish you all the best .

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. How is she not a submissive wife because she didn't want to reduce the pieces of meat and embarrass the family in front of respected guests? I dunno why y'all take submissiveness to mean being a doormat. The man has a lot of issues. If you were in her shoes will you be able to handle since an over grown baby like she's doing though?

      Delete
    2. I hope you know the difference between being submissive and being an outright slave who must never challenge the master?

      So because she should be submissive, if her husband ask her to put her hands in fire, she must do it?
      Issokay .

      Delete
    3. ANON stop misyarning about submissiveness. This goes a long way to show how you will treat your partner. Submissiveness oshi 😏🀨

      Delete
    4. Anon 15:22
      I hope u get a dummy to marry guess ur a man.
      Tell me how easy it is for u to reason with a mad person?
      Now chew on that and see that that's where this poster is coming from. a very difficult situation but d man culd make the marriage effortlessly enjoyable compared to this mechanical experience they are having. Say the truth so many men need to grow up and act their age.

      Delete
  25. Stella this story is taking too long. The poster should tell it once and for all let’s move on to the next story. We can’t have a 7 part story with the same people. At most 2 parts and it should be finished.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thirded!!!!!!!

      Delete
    2. Nne, Stella is a business woman. She is using it to generate traffic and comments. Also. If she puts it like that, the series will finish quickly and it's space will be empty. You gorrit?

      Delete
  26. The things we see inside marriage ehn. Poster continue ur story I likey.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Nne you have to apply wisdom o, you sound stubborn. Honestly your hubby is petty but you married him and hence as a Christian you should be submissive. He wasn't right to order you to reduce the meat but since he insisted, you should have reduced it instead dragging plate and arguing to the hearing of your visitors. Wisdom my dear is necessary in marriage. What you would have done was to reduce the meat as he inisisted, then as you serve the say something like " pls o manage me like this o as it was impromptu, next time i go prepare well" . They ll understand and you ll have peace, when they leave you can then talk to your baby husband instead of disgracin yourselves. This na my 10 cents as a lady in the marriage club. Also don't forget your prayers, it can move mountains, tested and trusted. Hand it over to God, ask Him to asisst you an He will.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Lol. I will never use my hand to serve anyone two tiny pieces of meat. Not even an enemy.

      Delete
    2. I agree with you. The poster said in her chronicle then that she will advise her daughters to taste before entering or something like that. That's worse in my opinion, if you are truly a Christian, pray and also try your best not to argue with him, he will surely change. As long as he's not the devl himself, he will surrender over time when he sees your submissive behaviour, he will begin to change his behaviour. In my first year of marriage, my stubbornness didn't allow me enjoy my home but I realised later that two wrongs truly don't make a right, I tried being submissive by arguing less and just doing my best as a wife to keep the home since I was told I argued a lot which I didn't realise. There has to be a way to communicate your grievances to him properly, patience will make it happen since he's very petty . He has to sleep on the same bed with you. Also,this issue of not eating dinner, I don't get it, who feeds him, it's not done o, he has to accept that he's married, it should even be family time.if he doesn't want to eat at home, you both should go and eat outside together. You're both married but living single. If using plurals for him as a Yoruba that he is will make him happy, use it my sister, shebi he wants to feel old, he's an archaic man but if that to him is respect, let him have it. It really doesn't matter. You will be fine. Well, let's see where the diary leads

      Delete
    3. Best comment so far! Everyone criticizing the marriage, I hope you read the part where she said she's still in it? This is a new union, barely 2 years old. They are still getting to know each other, as time goes on, each will understand the other perfectly. Poster, you sound like a Christian, you haven't particularly said your husband has cheated on you yet + you said no DV, therefore, put your home into God's hands. Pray for wisdom. Pray for God's direction. Pray for peace. A praying wife is EVERYTHING!

      Delete
    4. I must admit this is a very good advice but Mehnnn...

      Chiki pls nauπŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚πŸ˜‚


      Ch

      Delete
  28. Serious situation. Go and get a job because that will be the distraction that will keep you sane in your home.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Thank you Chidiogo.
    Your advice is the bomb.

    ReplyDelete
  30. There is a thin line between respect and suppression. When your respect seems not yield anything, suppression will come in and this leads to depression. If you know that you know that you've been submissive, please dust your CV and look for a job but still be calm at home.
    On a second thought, maybe he's going through something... JUST MAYBE

    ReplyDelete
  31. Sister, i beg you in the name of God, please dust your RESUME and start applying for jobs.When you start working password your phone don't beg him anymore to come sleep in the bedroom,start dressing beautiful,be on the phone, laugh and smile on your phone like you are so carried away with someone on phone chat.He will be the one to seek for your attention.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Some men sha! That's was how my husband too forced me to be using plural noun for him, how I hate that style. At any slight opportunity he will remind me that he is older than me, can you imagine? My dear, may God grant you safe delivery. Go get a job. Its my job that gives me the little power that I have now.

    ReplyDelete
  33. You could have just obeyed your husband.

    They are his friends and not yours, if he want to serve them with one piece of meat, serve them.

    What Nigerian men mean by submission is ...close your eyes and mouth while they cheat in peace. Majority of them are better boyfriends than husband. Its like once they marry , they have fulfilled all obligation... the woman should be happy they chose her amongst all women in the world. Once she gets pregnant, that is the end for some badly raised men.

    Before we blame men alone, let's talk about women that knowingly date men who are taken , who raised them? My happiness is, one day they would marry their boyfriends and the cycle of a woman dating their husband will continue.

    But who raised these men and women. We have to go back to the drawing board and raise respectable men and women. Women who respect matrimony. Men who keep their vows and are emotional present to their women. We need to teach our men that marriage is a beautiful thing, it is for companionship and not just for child birth. Fathers need to show by example to their boys how to treat their wives. Wives need to submit themselves to their husband.

    Submission does not mean rendering a woman powerless by stopping her from working. Submission does not mean a woman closing her eyes while you cheat when there are numerous diseases and you sleep with her unprotected... Who is going to be alive to take care of your children if you die and infect your wife. If you don't value your life, value your children's life. I know there are many broken men out there with low self esteem who don't mind to die out of their own carelessness but don't drag your wife to die with you.


    KING XOXO MYSTERY

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  34. O baby! Get a job and you will half notice your husband's short coming. You see financial independence hmm nothing reach am

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  35. Dear Poster,I will advise you take him to God in prayers,don't drag issues with him ever,you will only worsen the situation and do get a job, even if it's a 50k job,perform your wifely and motherly duties diligently.
    Ignore his Tantrums and go about your work,sooner or later, he will feel stupid,my mother tried it with dadand it worked,most men have little or no respect for women that her always available,pray harder and get busy!
    Husband no dey outside o,just fuckboys and hustlers only,be wise to keep your marriage from the devil.

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  36. I just laugh when some people are saying "discuss with your husband what you want before marriage".una think say marriage na rice and beans abi?so u guys think it's easy to follow through.enter first naim una go know how far

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