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I will turn 28 this year and June 2014 will make my marriage 5 years
I got married during NYSC and i have two kids.
it physical, emotional, verbally and what not. Trust me, my story
beats dat of MISS KAY in the domestic Violence DAIRIES , but thats a
story for another day. Before the end of last year, I made up my mind I was
going to leave my husband this year.
How?? I don't know, cos I have no money in the bank.
For 4 years plus now we'v both been jobless(my case, he doesn't want me to work, his
case.......... a very long one ). We v been leaving from hand to
mouth, at the mercy of families and friends, our rent is three years
overdue, school fees a term overdue and so many things in the house
requiring fixing. Please I want Sdk readers to help me analyse my
predicament.
I got a job offering today and I don't know whether to take it or
leave it. Cos my husband said he's not stopping me from working but i will
not be in his house and work. I have no money yet to get a place of my own
Please help me, what do I do???
My device was a gift. Some of u really don't understand what it
really means to lack.
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Hmmm, this one serious ohh.
ReplyDeleteWhat a husband!
DeleteIf you're in abuja email me on shapieme@yyahoo.com. Let'sfind you some temporary arrangement. Take your job
DeleteMy dear take the job, let him rant! He needs time to get use to u being the bread winner cos that his greatest fear.
DeletePls pick d job qet a friend n stay wif 4naw. He. Is an animal since he has chanqed his name 2 poverty pls qo qet alive. If u were not educated its different buh u r. Don't stay dere n die. O
DeleteYLaw De-Cupa, is that u?
DeleteIf truly ur story beats dat of ms kay like u said then u're dead amongst d leaving, a walking corpse....Hiss! Wait till u die then ur family wil send us ur foolish story.
DeleteSo what advice are you looking for?? #scratching my afro# he is broke, u r broke, but he still doesn't want you to work? Well it seems like you live your life, cos if you don't you will change and stop wasting time asking people for advice you know already.. Or you want us to tell u to go and "pray"? SDK why are women bent on staying in a bad marriage cos they are scared of divorce? Please... You know what to do, except you are willing to wait for your husband to get comfortable... And please women stop getting married to insecure men!!
Delete#my opinion #
*am out
Wonders shall never end.
DeleteWhat women go through in the name of marriage!!!
My dear use your tongue to count your teeth. You are 28years old for Christ. Take charge of your life and start building it now that you still have time otherwise in few years time, you will end up ................(fill in the space).
She wants to leave but doesn't have a dime with 2 kids. Anyone can get into such a situation. People can pretend for years while courting and show their true colors when married. She should ask her family for support.
DeleteWill you quickly grab that job before I loose my temper on your behalf. Wharrahell. My mum was just telling me about my cousin, her hubby chased her out because she got a job offer, they have two kids, the guy treats her like trash, few slaps here and there. Kilode. Are you girls moron? # walks away angrily #.
DeleteEvie, it's so easy to say 'get up and go'. She has NO MONEY! I was in this same predicament in 2011. Rent, school fees, transport... these things don't come cheap. I spent the whole of 2012 hustling like crazy. It wasn't easy but heck, it paid off.
DeleteI got my own place now, can pay my kids school fees without hassles, I pay my bills and it feel AWESOME! (....no, I didn't do runs). I have a legit trading business.
If this lady takes this job, she has to move out of the house or he'll definitely beat her up. Where does she go?
I suggest she talks to her family and get accommodation with them for the time being.
pls what kind of trading business are you into and hw much capital did u start with...pls help a sister
DeleteDon't mind the yeye man.....take the job and leave him...don't you have families?
ReplyDeleteTufiakwa! That man no be husband! Na beast!
DeleteI don't copy and paste my gist.
And comments are auto comment! No need to wait for approval
click here supremacydone.blogspot.com
If I were you darling I would take the job any man that sees his helper and better half as a threat is worse than an infidel. For the sake of your children take the job, stay with a friend or family for a while till you get your first salary and get a house, pay up your children's school fees and fix yourself. As for your husband time will tell I am sure he will be miserable and come back begging. I for one hate being idle I love going to work nd I enjoy my job. I love my husband but d day he will ask me to leave my job he go see my red eyes in fact I trust him he can't even suggest it here in the UK husband and wife needs to be in a job to make ends meet. .... I can't stand abusive men saw my mum endure my dad for the better part of my life now I am married nd want to start my family he still hasn't changed. Iya Kemi ku suru....
DeleteA house that d rent is 3yrs overdue isn't a house nah.
ReplyDeleteYou're in hell with a destiny killer.
An enemy of progress.
Take a great leap n embrace ur destiny.
Take the job n ignore the lazy,selfish n ignorant abuser.
#cheers
For d first time, u actually sound intelligent!
DeleteNo be small destiny killer o. Please poster do things quietly and wisely, u made d first mistake by telling him about the job, just tell him u wont take d job, go to ur church and confide in ur priest or pastor, i believe they shld be able to help u financially or with accomodation.
DeleteI kinda always look forward to your comments
DeleteAbsolutely correct. This man is a true enemy of progress. Listen honie, its unacceptable for you to be trated this way, for your kids to grow up in such an unstable environment. Enough ! That ends now. Move out, take your kids with you and. And take that job. Its God's way of giving you a start. If the loser can't accept it, then he never deserved you , didn't deserve those kids.what is it that you are waiting for? Your kids deserve better.
DeleteSomething reasonable from u ,, M-amie....that's very rare
Delete@anon 12:36,Priests,Pastors and Parents are not d right pple to ask before taking such a decision,cos they will only discourage u,all they know is their usual slogan:'u are married,stay married it's for better for worse....!pls take ur decision first,move out then u can inform them and explain why u had to do it!
DeletePoster,from ur story,if u stay with that man,u are only drawing closer to ur grave by d day!so run plss!
Chai! This is serious ooo.
ReplyDeleteYour husband is an enemy of progress.
My dear, get the job oo, I mean Get that job and leave his house! You are too yound to experience all you are going through.
Don't you have families or friends you can stay for a while till you get a place for yourseLf? My dear pLs do something fast.
Abeg, take the job and leave the guy with his low self esteem. He's not moving forward and he doesn't want you to. Save urself and leave his sorry arse.
ReplyDeleteyea leave him
ReplyDeleteMy advice to you is to take the job so u can fend yourself and the endless needs of your kids and let ur husband remain in his misery. Don't u attend a church, talk to ur pastor(s) about your accomodation problem or better still tell siblings or relatives about ur accomodation issue. You can perch somewhere until u can rent atleast a batcher for yourself. May the wisdom of God be upon you to act right.
ReplyDeleteMy dear take d job offer. If he wats to die in poverty dts his issue. If u ve a frd or relation u can put up wit pls do. Dnt reject d offer for ur childrens sake. Some men n der temper y lay ur hnds on ur wife. To d single ladies its nt a must u get married oh b4 u end up killing ursef in d process.
ReplyDeleteTake d job n catwork out of dat man's house n his life. Dat man is a demon n does not dserve u. Ma dear u deserve beta
ReplyDeleteYou have to understand that you have your own life to live. You have a purpose, and destiny to fulfill. You cannot leave a life serving your husband all ur life while you have nothing you can boast of apart from children as an achievement. I want you to brace up and take up the job. Damn d consequence and threat. If he chooses to chase you out after, trust God that he has finally decided to bring you out of the abusive relationship. Mayb that is Gods way of ending your misery hence this liberation in form of a job. Don't worry you will survive.
ReplyDeleteWhere are your parents?
ReplyDeleteThe thing is ha parents and family may advice ha to stick to ha marriage that it will work.. he will change.. just to cover the shame of their dota being a Divorcee
DeleteYou are right Tochini do or die marriages and the parents encouraging her to stay even with a big bump on her head from punches by her Mike Tyson husband. Mshewwwww. My aunt got beaten four times by her husband plus since he married her 5 years ago he never for once kissed her how much more open her skirt to see the colour of her panties. Whilst people re waiting to see a growing bump, she is receiving blows and kicks from the yeye man. She finally left the man after he changed the locks and she couldn't get into the house after work. Pant she no take all her clothes re still there. She sued him and also filled for a divorce but the excuse for a man didn't turn up in court. Case continues. ......
Delete*filed*
Deletetell him you won't take d job but you would, be subtle about it. Leave his house quickly. Leave it now. You will be sorted out. We known whay it is to be in that situation n have come out alive. So, please, take it first, he can do nothing to you. He just roars like a lion; he ain't!
ReplyDeleteWe should learn to take things to the Maker in prayer before making any major decision. Only He can guide you to the right path.
ReplyDeleteThat being said, l know The Lord God will not want you to remain in such a toxic environment where your life and children's might be in danger. He works in mysterious way and may have provided your ticket out of there.
Nice 1
DeleteU are correct dear
DeleteYou are married to an abusive man, you've been trapped in a hell-hole of domestic violence, penny-less and life of misery and now there is a ray of sunlight and you ask if you should take the job????
ReplyDeleteWhy did you marry him sef? Guess maybe the traits was well hidden . anyhow,....
My friend! kick that insecurity in the face, jump at the job, better yourself and become independent, otherwise....otherwise.....u will just keep being miserable, grow white hair that comes with frustration at 30 and when you decide then that you've had enough, another opportunity of a good job may not be avaliable.
Sometimes when you show a man you are so weak to take a bold step, they capitalize on it.
I wish you well. You are too young for this wahala.
Very brilliant piece sweetie.
Delete#hugs
DeleteLeave him now, afterall its not asif you would miss anything even the sex, cus sex without money is sad
ReplyDeleteLeave now now asoon as you finish reading this and take your kids too
What kind of a man is that, he also doznt want to work, that's why he has time to be beating you
Those family members helping you should also help you with a place to stay
You dnt hv a problem nah,take the job and leave him startt over again with your kids,dnt you hv siblings stay with them for a while.congrat on your job
ReplyDeleteTake the job and leave him , what nonsense , a man tht cannot feed his family is worse than an infidel ,
ReplyDeleteDon't you have. Friends or family my dear plan your way and run from the ass , t
You've already made up your mind to leave him. Leave!!! If accommodation is a problem, get help from those organizations that help victims of domestic violence. They may be able to house you for a while before you get back on your feet independently. From now on start doing things for yourself and stop putting that man in the equation. If you still do, you will never be free of him. God be with you.
ReplyDeleteMy dear I strongly advise dat u shld take the job, even if it means leaving him...cos dis is a once in a lifetime opportunity day God has given u now so grrab it oo wit ur.hands nd even ur feets sef!!! "Amy Becky"
ReplyDeleteI really feel for u tho but let's analyse it dis way without sharing blames...pls nd pls take that job offer else u'll grow old nd depressed frm that marriage! Strt ur life all over ..give ur kids a better life cos they deserve that else they'll grow up to b rebellious and hate u for putting dem thru such trauma! Ur hubby is a mean soul nd jobless at d same time..nd doesn't want u to work?who does that? Leave his house pls ok? U'll b fine without him! Ur kids deserve d best! @xclucivexter!
ReplyDeleteIf she stubbornly takes the job, she may loose her kids. So do the needful hun but not without a plan.
ReplyDeleteIf u had an earlier plan, u for go for Christmas hols and not return. Choi.
Be wise. Don't. Loose your kids BUT take the job
Efe
Pls take d job, move out for a while till u guys get things sorted out. If u dnt leave now, u might not live long t fulfil ur days on earth. how long will u continue t leave frm hand t mouth? D time t act is now!
ReplyDeleteTake the job, but make sure he doesn't know yet. Leave with your kids and stay with your family till you find your feet. I hope your hubby won't come after you though. Some men can be vindictive... Na wah o.
ReplyDeleteOluyomi Odukoya
Please take the job, grab it with your whole being o. Move out of that house with your kids. Find a friend or relative you can stay with till you save enough to rent a house. Please, don't dare reject that job, if you do, you will regret your decision. Your husband is a beast. Leave now before he kills you directly or indirectly. Don't forget to be prayerful, God will see you through. Be strong.
ReplyDeletefor this one water DON pass garri, u people are living from hand to mouth, still he don't want u to get a job. pls take that job and leave the man. WTF.
ReplyDeleteplz take d job. U have been in an abusive relationship for 5yrs? Like seriously u want him to kill u? He knows that if u get a job,u will be empowered and might nt take him abuse anymore. Take d job and start thinking of temporary accommodation for u and ur kids if he ask u to go. Am out o
ReplyDeletetake the job and take a walk my dear some men are destiny killers oh
ReplyDeleteBcos d poster's hubby,ur father n all d men in ur family are destiny killers doesn't mean all men are
DeleteSmh swansea, did u read her comment at all? Read it! For crying out loud she said 'SOME'.
DeleteShe said 'some' why the unnecessary abuse?
DeleteSwansea,u re d big fool here. She said "some men" nt "all men" as u claim, idiot.
DeleteAll I can say is the man doesn't want you to fulfil your destiny.
ReplyDeleteThis is 2014; tell yourself the status quo must change or do you like the way your life is at the moment?
Take your destiny into your hand and live it!
Take the job.
ReplyDeleteMove in with your family. Or talk to your church people. Or friends.
Start the job. Small time, you will be able to afford a room. Before you know it, u wil be comfortable.
Or do you want to live in poverty forever? In the arms of a wife beater?
There are foundations around. I know daystar has one for domestic violence victims. Pls woman. You are too young to subject yourself to that kind of life. Ok?
Don't tell her to talk to church people, I know you mean well, but the church people will only tell her to go back to her husband's house, and God hates family separation, God hates divorce, blah, blah, blah. Church people through their words and actions are the very ones encouraging women to stay in these effed up situations. God is the author of common-sense and wisdom, the wise thing to do is take that job and it will be her ticket to freedom. I would though, encourage those of pure hearts and prayerful minds to pray for her and her children safety, as they will literally be walking through the valley of the shadow of death to move out of that place.
Delete@poster..please keep us posted on the outcome of your situation. Stella let us know.
L think the main problem here is is getting accommodation. Everyone' is saying should leave but who is ready to offer her accommodation? Abi naa under brigde she go stay?
ReplyDeleteHian!some men are jes wicked.he is lucky you are willing to work n assist the family sef.take the job n get somewia else to stay with ur kids biko..
ReplyDeleteNa wa o....didn't u see all dis traits b4 marrying him, this is a big mistake, dis is beyond human comprehension, u can't feed & can't afford accommodation, yet he doesn't want u to work even though he's jobless. Does he have a mental problem, u are still young & shouldn't continue in an abusive relationship, I think u av endured enough its high time u take charge of ur life so dat ur children's future can be guaranteed
ReplyDeleteUr hubby is an enemy within who wants to drag u along in his failure, if u continue, u'll just realized dat many years have passed without achieving anytin. This is ur prime, u need to start working so dat u can save. I'll suggest u take a LONG WALK!
I really don't have wat to say but every human being has an inner voice which always speaks d truth nd if I may ask . Wat is urs telling u? Mt dear work wit it.
ReplyDeleteU can see everybody's comment..if u don't leave him den somtin must be rong with u oh..leave sharply....for d sake of ur kids..besides he doesn't deserve u, he's just a lazy twat with chronic low self esteem..gdluck babes.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, THere is nothing to think about, it is Gods way of bringing u out of ur predicament. Take the job and ur kids and run away as far as your legs can carry you. Pple stay in abusive relationships when the man is even man enough to take care of their needs but in your own case u do not have a reason to suffer. this is just God telling u my dear i have heard ur cry. If it means u going to knock on a pastor or priest door for accommodation do it but get hell out of there.
ReplyDeleteOh dear, I abhor domestic violence! If I were you, I would take the job and leave that miserable man - I know it's easier said than done. But, that's just me.
ReplyDeletePlease take the God given job so you can afford to take care of your children ,they are the most important. Also please take them away from such violent surroundings
ReplyDeleteTake your children out of that violent situation and of course take the job.
ReplyDeletePlease take the God given job so you can afford to take care of your children ,they are the most important. Also please take them away from such violent surroundings
ReplyDeleteWhat nonsense! Why are you still in his house to begin with (job or no job)? You need to leave this abusive man asap; don't you have friends or family you can squat with for some time until you're able to get a place of your own. I'll suggest you take the job, find someone to manage with for some time and leave his sorry ass. Also, pray to God about this; he always makes a way, I'm sure there'll be someone that can help you until you're able to stand on your feet. Whatever you do, you have to take that job, what an excuse for a man!
ReplyDeleteMy dear take that job n leave with ur kids u were educated for a purpose keep ur kids with folks friends,or family pending wen u will be fine ur husband is sadly a looser n sadly a destiny killer
ReplyDeleteHe has no job, you have no job, you just found a job but he won't let you work???? What planet are you and your husband from??? Mtcheeew..next story jor. Please poster your story is very annoying to me. Mtcheeew.
ReplyDeleteEvery 1 dt keeps asking ds said lady seem to b forgetting one thing....she's broke
ReplyDeleteMost pple won't b willing to let her stay with them bcos she has got baggages( 2 in fact)
So I think those dt r financilly stable cld help her with an apartment.
It might b a face me I face u apartment....bt am sure she wouldn't mind. Any1 could assist her in renting 1.
Pls ma sister take the job nw as soon u read all dis abeg and leave ur husband,he wants to destroy ur destiny haba kilode. Am so scared for u pls leave oo. From taiwo
ReplyDeleteI've read all the post by Ms Kay and some were pretty scary and you are saying your case is worse?that alone should make you leave his sorry arse,some of her experiences gave me goose pimples and as marriage crazy as I am, I did a self evaluation and asked my self if marriage was All that!
ReplyDeletePlease my dear take that Job, take ur kids and give him space! I'm very sure those family and friends at whose mercy you've been living will be willing to help, get a small place and stay with your kids , if Oga is serious and you are willing to give it another try make sure he is gainfully employed and he has really changed.
Until women start realising that marriage isn't a do or die affair, abuse shall abound. You are still asking for what to do abi? Sit down and keep living in a house that the rent is 3years over due. It's when they throw you and and disgrace you 1st that you'll wake up.
ReplyDeleteYou are lucky to even get a job after not having worked for 4years. Babe take the job, am sure there is a family member or friend you can squat with for sometime till you get enough money to get your own accommodation.
Moving out now does not necessarily mean that your marriage is over. It may be the wake up call your hubby needs
That man is a destiny killer and we all have our destinies in life to fulfill. Leave that man for now, go to your parent's house or sibling's house (I'm sure they will welcome you with open arms if you tell them this story you just told us). Are you kidding me? Not to take a job, and you have unpaid bills as far back as 3 years? Gurl, do you know when another opportunity in the form of a job will come knocking at your door again.? If you don't do it for anybody, do it for your kids. That same man will come begging when he see you in company car, mark my words.
ReplyDeleteYou seem well educated and so I will assume you are smart and intelligent. Now, your rent is overdue, meaning you barely have a place to stay anyway. Oga landlord can come anytime and pursue you away. You better take the job, even if it means sleeping under the bridge and earn yourself a living. If not for you, for your children. Look for who to put up with for about 2/3 months and save up to get yourself a place to stay even if it is a face me, I face you for now. Where are your friends? Family nko? Better relocate your children to your parents or sibling for the time being while you organise yourself. You unfortunately have a dead beat husband who will stop at nothing to destroy you whether you work or not. Take that Job offer before some one else grabs it. You know jobs are even scarce. Don't waste anytime, be very sharp and smart. All the best in your new Job
ReplyDeleteBefore your marriage you must have know things about him? What about his family have you make them know what you are going through?what about your own family? All I can say is remember you in my prayers.
ReplyDeleteTake the job. Dats ur way out of financial insecurity. Don't mind him. He's just a destiny destroyer.
ReplyDeleteWhy do women stay in abusive relationships? What do yu hope for?A miracle?I don't bother reading DV cases again cos I am just plain tired of reading d same story over and over again.I dont understand why u must die in a marriage.
ReplyDeleteI can understand why you don't want to read abt DV again. There is a lot you won't understand. There are a lot of factors that lead to that. The man's personality, his background, educational, psychological, the way he was brought up, his parents relationship whether biological or adopted etc, his experiences in life etc eventually shapes the kind of father or husband he turns out to be. Again his religious beliefs, peer pressure and again if he grew up in a domineering environment. However, everyone can overcome their challenges & be better people in life. The same goes for the woman. And there are no situations that are the same. They may be similar. For some people you will never know they are abusers except if you see them do it. You just might be living around one for all you know. Because they are everywhere.
DeleteUre really a MAD nigerian, don't get a job e hear? U wnt to please ur abusive husband, whatever happened to ur own dreams n aspirations? Or r u one of those women who believe marriage is d ultimate thing? Die dia na.
ReplyDeleteTake the job and take care of your kids!!
ReplyDeletePlease just take the job, please, please and please. Once u're financially equipped every other thing will gradually fall in place *nuff* said
ReplyDeleteCall in your parents and parents-in-law, intimate them of the situation and enumerate the benefits this will serve as a witness in your favour.
ReplyDeleteTake the job and assist with the family until your husband gets back on his feet, if he continues to be abusive and blind to the reality on ground, pack your things and leave. hausa people say "aure ba dole ba"!
If I hear!! Parent inlaw kor!!! Most of dem no even happy say their son marry!!
DeletePls take the job. But you must pray like you've never prayed before. And you will leave him bcos this man does not care if you or your children die. That's the height of it. Move your children and yourself to a place where he can't easily locate you. You can borrow money from your parents. You may have to stay with someone before you find your feet. This so that you won't be under too much pressure. If you are a Christian pray, the bible says the heart of a King is in His hands He turns it the way it should go. Proverbs 21vs 1. Pray and tell God exactly what you want. Even if you eventually reconcile first get out. He is a proud Man and his ego is a huge size. May God help you.
ReplyDeletePls take the job. But you must pray like you've never prayed before. And you will leave him bcos this man does not care if you or your children die. That's the height of it. Move your children and yourself to a place where he can't easily locate you. You can borrow money from your parents. You may have to stay with someone before you find your feet. This so that you won't be under too much pressure. If you are a Christian pray, the bible says the heart of a King is in His hands He turns it the way it should go. Proverbs 21vs 1. Pray and tell God exactly what you want. Even if you eventually reconcile first get out. He is a proud Man and his ego is a huge size. May God help you.
ReplyDeleteliving from hand to mouth, owing landlord 3years rent , children's school fees = no way. Yet you ar asking us if you shud take a job. If all yr friends and family members refused to work who will give you money? And i believe it is the same thing with clothes, na wah shame dey catch me on una behalf. If you no want the job pls i need it . Thank you in advance.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, i pray God sorts u out as u cry to him.
ReplyDeleteI suggest u find a way to leave the house first before u get killed. Leave one day whn he is out. Pack only tins u need or start removing ur tins gradually from d house. So he doesnt notice. Get sm1 to pick dem up in bits for u n ur kids. Only tins u need.
Then find a safe place where he can't come to flex his muscle. Also get ppl to go with u to the police n report him. Just so they know. That if anything happens to u, he shld b held responsible as he has been threatening u.
Let d company know u r taking d job. Send a letter to your family and his, telling dem ur situation n then take d job. Dont forget to tell d security ppl at d company that on no account must they let anyone come into d office claiming to want to see you. Then neva go home by urself after work.
If possible, pay someone to escort u home everyday. A big person like those bouncers. N then, whn u start work, buy a taser n pepper spray. U need to protect urself vecaise someone like this wont let u ve o. He can trail u n even try to kill u.
I read through the responses and i like this one best. the poster addressed the issues 'after leaving". i had a crazy ex once and he dealt with me after i left. trailed me to work, bribed my security man for information and stuff- he was everywhere. he even came to embarrass me at work (those things could get you fired) and your husband sounds wicked and shameless enough to do such.
Deletelike this poster has said- watch your back. security wherever you move to and at work (pally the security guards at work, they will save you a lot of stress).
have you considered talking to someone at project alert- their numbers are 08180091072 and 08052004698).
i would beg you not to leave your children behind. don't announce your intention to move, just do it. and change all your details- your mobile number ,your email addy, the school your children go to (talk to teachers and security there too) if you can. keep your location top secret.
dont be sentimental about your husband- i know how abusive people are- they are sweet and wicked in turns. make up your mind and ignore the sides you consider 'good"- he will kill you eventually if you dont- just so you know- its not just "other people" it happens to.
lastly- i can tell you for free that its no use going to the average church for help- they will try to counsel the beating/wicked spirit out of him- that shit dont work. you can go to daystar tho - and find out about their shelter for abused women.
Stay strong and give us feedback- i pray lines fall for you in pleasant places.
**and i forgot- just for the documentation (im a lawyer, i see these things), go to a police station the next time he beats you- bruise or no bruise- to file a complaint. take pictures if you have bruises. dont clean anything before you leave the house. all the best
Dear, please take the job and give those kids a life. You brought them into this world and they are suffering all because they have a father like that. Don't pay anyone's judgement any mind, get that job and fend for your self. If he wants to be begging, let him. You have kids to raise. This is why I absolutely can not stop having a source of income, men will surprise you in the worst ways when you are dependent on them. In this case, he does not even have anything for you to depend on. He is a beggy beggy.
ReplyDeleteTake d job
ReplyDeleteA very incomplete, quarter story! God forbid that I give you an advice
ReplyDeleteTake the job,I repeat take it!
ReplyDeletePlease,take the job offer.
ReplyDeleteIf not for any reason.....for d sake of ur kids,,take up job.......imagine those little ones experiencing hardship at dia age........moreova....taking up d job will bring u some sort of independence from dat beast u call husband....it is well.....
ReplyDeleteI am a man, married and happily too. No man, and I repeat, no man, has the right to abuse a woman, moreover his wife or girlfriend physically or emotionally. That man must be less than a pig. And he will still want to go ahead to phave coital pleasures with the woman? He must be a brute or rabid dog.
ReplyDeleteAt the same time, forget religion (and God forgive me if I sin), no woman must remain in abusive relationship or marriage. No man is worth it.
take the job and leave him. Now!
Take the job and run for your dear life!
ReplyDeleteBelledazzy.blogspot.com
Am already annoyed at you sef this poster....walahi if you were close by I would have slapped the mumuness from your head......your question should be how can Sdker help me? What do u want us to help you analyze? Are you not tired of the battery? Ok let me not beat you more cos you are already down........go to where u have been offered a job and take the offer......begin to think of who you will go to for help to stay with temporarily......then u can later if they can trust God for Favour for your new employers to give u a loan to rent house.......this man is abuse don't continue staying there oh, don't ever let your self become a statistics on women battered to death......please am begging you in the name of God, leave the man......even if you will pray do it at a safe distance, if God changes him and you reconcile na big thanksgiving and testimony be that.......for now get out ASAP
ReplyDelete@ anonymous,change ke! Wife beaters neva change! I had a friend that left without a pin cos the man almost strangled her if not for the housegirl that called d gateman to pull the idiot off her! When she lefte her husband,her parent disowned her saying she smeared them with shame that marriage is for better,for worse! Dear poster,run for ur life while u still can ! Run and dnt look back pls!!
DeleteThe man is satan himself Gosh! This is the real Hell fire on earth I mean it. Pls madam, take the job if he beats you afterwards leave him please marriage is niot for everyone. Pleas is there no law for men that beats their wife?
ReplyDeleteThis is funny as hell, because you are not in his house anyways. How on earth y'all have not been evicted for three years overdue rent, you must be renting from a friend or family? Where will the money come from to pay the back rent? So dis useless man is going to subject you to a life of poverty just because he cannot get a job and his ego is bruised? - he prefers you, him, and the children eat dirt, I can only imagine that those poor lil ones are lacking in some basic nutrients. What dignity is there in living on handouts from friends and family who have their own financial responsibilities to meet. How do you think those relatives and friends will feel knowing you got a job offer and did not take it and instead chose to burden them with your family needs when they have their own? Do you think they would be happy to know that?
ReplyDeleteYou better quick step and take that job, go hang on with one of your own relatives for a little while until you can save up to get a little place of your own. The hardest part will be for you to find good childcare while you go to work, go speak to an NGO, or one of those women's organization that deal with abused women, so they can direct you along a good path, maybe they too can assist you with finding someplace to live in the interim and assist with finding childcare. I wish you and your children the very best, but your future is bright anyways, just take the first step toward that future.
hmmmmmm.....nice one from a man..
ReplyDeleteTake the job offer and get your independence. that way, you can make the very necessary decisions that are staring you in the face.
ReplyDeleteI am sure he doesn't mean that. He must have said that during one of your fights........except he is totally mad.
ReplyDeleteAll these men that say stupid things during fights, well she does not have to keep on with the abuse. He isn't playing his role as Father to the children and she will not sit and wait till her kids are on the street cold or motherless due to a man that has no (I don't even have the words to describe him). Not attacking you please but I hate when people say I am sure he did nt mean to say this, he didn't meant to smack you half across Africa and leave you with bruises, it happened when he was angry.
DeleteI'm tired of all these DV stories damn! Isit that its becoming rampant or IT has made us so aware of the ongoings of this world. DV is sick sick to the bone and it balls down to lowself esteem on d mans part. Watch out, men like that don't even have the guts to say shit when their fellow guys are talking. Ps poster, take the job that's all u've got!
ReplyDeleteBalls ko football ni
DeleteHi faceless, Fuck off
DeleteHmmmmmm..orisirisi dey happen oh!young girls abeg shine ur eyez
ReplyDeleteit is well
ReplyDeletePlease my sister, take the job but do not go from his house. Find a place to stay until you get your own place. Do not under-rate these abusers, they are evil. Run for your life and that of your children. Rose
ReplyDeleteMy Dear you got married early & probably very naive. Dis man has been controlling you long & by now you are afraid of him. You need to apply wisdom in leaving him. Lie about taking d job & plan ur way carefully about leaving him without him knowing so he does not try to strangle you or try to keep the kids to hurt you. Pray to GOD at all times to be your guide.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster,
ReplyDeleteSad you had to marry a man who has poverty as his middle name. i am guessing you have tried talking to him several times about you taking a job but no answer. Well my dear please take the job so you can have peace of mind. if he kicks you out of the house,you either go to your parents house or stay with a trusted friend.
It will be more tough but you will conquer.
MFM prayer-Poster, any one that want to stand as a barrier between you and your breakthrough, should fall and die now.
ReplyDeletebabe plz u are still very young and active, pick the job and make ur childern your husband,that the reality of life,forget man and their foolish ego
ReplyDeleteThanks y'all. Going back home is out of d question, my mom won't hear of it. I'm d eldest out of 4 girls. @Anon 12:13, no, I don't reside in abuja.
ReplyDelete